Love In the Red Zone (Connecticut Kings Book 1) (22 page)

“But after you testified before a federal grand jury that you didn’t know, they played a tape where Glock’s name was mentioned and you said it was cool, stay at your house down there. You seem to let every needy being stay in your homes,” she shot back and that shit slapped me.

“I don’t see how it’s your business,” I explained quietly and firmly with one brow in the air. “You complaining when you get free boarding in a mansion. Glock got a boarded unheated two-family in Camden. What you trippin’ off of?” I gestured toward the house with my eyes scanning the room. “That was his speed. This is yours, right?”

“Son of a bitch!” Jade slammed the countertop and stormed toward the door.

“How do you figure I had to tell you?” I called behind her, stopping her in her tracks. “I don’t owe you anything!”

She turned back to me with a face full of tears that quickly.

That hurt. Badly.

“Yeah, but it was okay to let me shove your dick in my mouth.”

Then I was pissed all over again. “You been wanting my dick in more than your mouth! How much fighting can I do to keep it from happening?”

“You should have just told me the truth, Trent. You had ample opportunity to tell me this! When you gave me the terms of my stay after that first night here, you could have given me the option to go.”

“Go where? You didn’t have anywhere to go or means to get there, Jade.”

“I’m a mother. I’ve been wearing that S on my chest for six years now. It’s in my job description to make things happen.”

Crazy thing is, although I was there when her eviction and car dying went down, I believe Jade would have made something happen so Kyree had a safe place to stay. Jade may have been introduced to me at a low point in her life, but over the past month since she’d been in my crib, I’d seen a lioness with the way she hustled to make sure Kyree was good and his care was seamless during their period of homelessness. She worked hard, tended to school at night, fed her son hot meals, talked to him every night, spoiled him with love every chance she got, and even though she’d been trying to get into my bed, she never compromised her dignity in front of her son. Jade was a supermom and a hero to Kyree. And me. She was far more of a nurturer than I’d ever had or known. She had been a great listener and encourager. I’d fought this revelation as long as I could, but facts were facts. When you live with someone it is hard to hide character. Like Ezra said in his sermon, character is who you are when no one is watching. Only I’d been helpless watching Jade, low key admiring her hustle.

My eyes fell. “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

I lifted my face and rubbed it with my hands and grunted sincerely, “I’m sorry for not being up front with you about my past. For your sake and Kyree’s. I just viewed it as a personal mistake that I’ve been trying to move on from. As you can see, it cost me my job and almost cleaned out my assets.”

Jade rolled her eyes, but her shoulders dropped in relief at my admission. She was right about me trying to deflect by taking jabs at her vulnerability.

God, what am I doing?

This wasn’t me at all. I’d been fighting so hard to work on myself. Jade made me crazy and stupid at the same damn time. I hadn’t used as many curse words in a month than I had with her in weeks. I needed to go upstairs and sleep this brandy off and get ready to dig into praise and worship in the morning.

This is not who I am
…

“And you’re back on the team? Were you going to tell me?”

I slowly dropped my hands from my face. I straightened in stance and swallowed hard. Unable to answer that or look at her face torn with pain, I turned my head.

“That’s not an answer, Trent. I know you haven’t asked me for a dime and only paying for groceries and toiletries is one hell of a deal, but I’ve done it diligently thinking you had a cash flow issue. I thought all this time you could lose your home in the near future.”

Still nothing. Still couldn’t face her.

“You have to answer for this. I know I have my shit with admittedly being attracted to you and now actually liking you, but that doesn’t give you the right to leave me hanging like a groupie. I’ve opened to you in ways I’ve never wanted to with anyone else. I know I’ve thrown myself at you with little dignity here, but damn it, I’m no gold digger! I never once had financial motives.”

“How was I supposed to know that with how hard you’ve been coming at me?” I did look at her now. “I was just trying to do the right thing, helping out Ky’s moms when she hit hard times.”

“I’m madly attracted to you!” Her arms shot into the air. “Shoot me! Is it a crime to fall for a guy even when you hit hard times? Even now, feeling betrayed by you keeping this from me after I’ve puked my guts out to you, I can still see the good guy that let me stay in his home when I hit rock bottom.” Jade stopped for a moment, needing a breath. When I thought I was given a moment to think of a response, she stepped closer to me with narrowed eyes. “You could’ve told me this weeks ago and I would’ve felt the same way. How long were you going to keep this from me?” She shook her head, appearing fed up with the conversation. With me. “And look… If you don’t like me, it’s okay. I’ll just—”

“I do like it,” rushed from my lips. I had no idea those words were coming. I couldn’t believe I said it. Jade’s tear-stained face folded in confusion. “Like you,” I clarified. “I do like you. Like…a lot. Like…” I exhaled, my palms gripped my waist, and eyes fell again. “I don’t like that I like you, but every time I look for a reason not to, you do something sneaky or bold and make it hard.” I rolled my eyes at that bitch-ass confession.

“But you don’t trust me,” she hardly whispered.

“I trust very few.”

“But your distrust for me is so bad that you won’t even sleep with me. Gosh! This feels like the lyrics to Brielle’s son
g…
” her eyes focused midair, hypnotized by that fact.

Not that fuckin’ Brielle!

I growled, scrubbing my face again. “It’s a spiritual thing, Jade. I made a pact when I was locked up to change my life and the moment I got out, I messed up and got burned. I got back on track and then you came, and now you’re like…messing everything up! I’m just trying to do the right thing by God, Jade. I got a lot on the table here. You don’t get it.”

“Oh, bullshit, Trent! You don’t get to throw God in this when you lie even by omission, hiding things from someone you
know
only has the best intentions for you! Your conviction and imprisonment, your job, and the fact that you like me. I didn’t know you were making money again—hell, I didn't even know your stature before tonight and I was stuffing your dick down my throat! You don’t get to play helpless, secret millionaire victim here! I don’t deserve it and neither does Kyree.”

That mention of the little guy plucked at something deep inside. I cocked my head as I stepped near her. “You know what? You’re right. I did hide a lot. I got trust issues. It is what it is. For the first time in my life, I got two people who look for me to only be me. Not for money. Not for my celebrity. Maybe you for sex, but even that desire is totally disconnected from the machine people have viewed me as. And you think I was going to volunteer information that would end this sooner than our temporary agreement ended? Hell no!”

Jade and I stood in the quieted room, both glaring, both heaving, both confused, and scared.

“I don’t want to leave...” she whispered. “At least not until I get proper housing for him.”

I swallowed hard, a pain striking my chest. “I’m not asking you to.” I licked my lips, rolling my eyes. “I don’t want you to. I never said you have to leave. I just can’t fuc—have sex with you. Not now. Not like this. You deserve better, I deserve better, and so does Ky.”

“And I won’t ask you to,” she shrieked, ashamed. Her eyelashes blinking.

“You never asked me to, Jade. You made it clear in other ways.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “I’ll try to keep it under control.” She shrugged with a pout.

Something blossomed in my chest, warming me all over about this concession. I stepped into Jade, wrapped my arms around her, pulling her small comforting frame against me. She shuddered in my arms, I was sure letting go of the tears she wanted to cry when I was trying to attack her, not wanting to cop to my own bullshit. From now on I’d try for her.

“And I’ll try to be more real about how I feel about you,” I whispered over her head.

“Okay,” she shrieked, crying in my arms.

“What made you start attending church?”

I rolled over onto my side putting my back to Trent in his bed. He tossed the football into the air.

“To fill a void, I guess.”

“What void?”

“I don’t know… Feeling my life had to have a purpose. Football was good, but wasn’t it. I felt like…empty inside and lost, so I did the proverbial thing and sought out Jesus.” Humor sprinkled over his vocals. “A mentor of mine…uhhh…Jeremy Harris, was going to this church. He seemed to have his shit together. Laid low, unlike most of the franchise players I knew, so I followed him to Jesus and apparently He liked me back.” He continued to toss and catch the ball.

Trent was being silly, but I could tell there was some truth behind that story. I sensed pain, too. He didn’t open up to me like I did him when I’d come in here at night with the agenda of getting to know him better. No matter how open I’d been with him over the weeks, he was still a mystery to me. Why was he such an island unto himself? Why did he mainly speak of his uncle when making warm mentions of his family? I didn’t believe he’d answer these questions tonight, but it didn’t stop me from probing.

“Why didn’t you feel whole? You seem to be really close to your family. Look how you revere Shank.” I swallowed and bit my lip, waiting with bated breath for his rejection.

“Shank isn’t a biological parent.”

“Where’s your father?”

The ball stopped. Trent considered answering my question.

“In south Jersey.”

“What’s his name?”

There was an abbreviated pause before he answered, “Trenton Jackson.”

“That’s where you got your name?”

“Kinda. My first name, at least.”

“Do you know him?”

“His identity, yes. Shank made that happen after I got signed.”

“Really?” I gasped silently, my eyes mushrooming in the dimness of the room. “How?”

“He knew it had been eating at me since I was like…sixteen. Shank knew that even though I was accomplishing something so big—as big as signing with the league—I was still fucked up inside. He thought meeting my dad formally was the solution.”

My heart twisted in my chest. Every limb in my body tensed with a protective emotion.

“Did it work?”

“Not really. When we met, it was a few months after my first season with the
Kings
. I broke a few of their records and was making a name for myself. But it had still taken Shank that long to convince him—I didn’t know until after it all went down. But when I did meet him at a hotel in Philly right after taking a
W
over the Eagles, he was like... All business with it. Like stiff with handshakes, neck bows, pleasant smiles, and formal praises for my accomplishments. He was familiar with my career, but only from a football fan’s perspective. He wore khakis and a white polo tucked in, brown leather belt and oxfords like he worked for
Sports Authority
or something. He spoke low with mild enthusiasm...different from the hundreds of followers I’d met in my career at that time. He was just cool with it. But he knew me. Knew my family. Knew names. Knew my schools and football camps. He was like...”

The more he spoke, the more I visualized the meeting.

“Not like a father. Like a neighbor...” I echoed into the darkness.

A slow, “Yeah, like that,” escaped his mouth, from his mind. I could tell Trent was back in that moment, too. “We talked about the game and he mentioned some of my old plays. He may have asked how my mother was doing—I ‘on’t quite remember—but that was pretty much it. No apologies. No answers. No promises to keep in touch. He did mention he had three sons that wanted to come, but for whatever reason he told them no. But that was it.”

“Have you heard from him since?”

“Nah...”

I swallowed hard, taking air down with it. My eyes stung.

“He wasn’t interested in your money or fame...” I spoke at the speed of my thoughts, amazed by the picture of loneliness Trent was illustrating.

“Nah. Neither one of my parents care about that.”

“Not even your mother?”

“Nope. I bought her a house—my first major purchase after I got signed. She ain’t want it. I had to buy the crappy house from the landlord from underneath her and evict my mother for her to leave that dump and move to Pennsauken. It’s right outside of Camden, so it’s close to family, but safe. The house ain’t big, but more than enough space for her. But, yeah…” He chuckled wryly. “She ain’t want nothing to do with that.”

“The one you bought from beneath he
r…
” I swallowed. “That’s the house the kid, Glock, hid out in?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you tell her you were buying the one in Pennsauken before you did?”

“Nah.” I heard air push from his nostrils, but couldn’t identify if it was telling of his emotions or he was just tired. It was almost midnight. “I don’t talk to my mother. Haven’t really since… Since like ten.”

He stopped and so did my heart. I wanted to hear more, now invested in his story. Desperate for answers, I pushed.

“What happened when you were ten, Trent?” My voice was reduced to a soft trill floating in the air.

“My brother got killed.”

“How?”

“By a crew around the way. He was ummmm…” He cleared his throat. “He was looking for me. I liked to run the streets with my uncle, Trick, at that age, getting in trouble. My brother was seventeen and tried keeping up with me, knowing I ain’t have my pops around. I snuck out on a school night and he came looking for me in the wrong area and messed around and got robbed. They killed him.” His tone ended on a hushed breath. Trent was dazed by the memory. My chest heaved and eyes misted. “Well, anyway, Trevor—my brother—was her only child for a while and was supposed to stay that way, I guess. She worshipped the ground he walked on. When I came along, she wasn’t too happy. I was a mistake with another man. Trevor was cool and looked out for me a lot. Before there was Shank, it was my brother who kept me in line. And when he died, my mother never really fucked with me after that. I lived with her, but was mostly at my grams’ with Shank and them.”

The tears wouldn’t stop, but biting my lip kept me from sobbing outright. I swallowed hard.

“You don’t see her on holidays or when you go down to see Shank and your grandmother?”

This would explain his solitary ways.

“For years she didn’t come around. Even when she lived in CMD. She stayed to herself, so I didn’t see her. She’s a home health aide and works most of the time, I think. But when my grandmother had a stroke last year, she started coming around, helping her out. So I see her sometimes when we’re at the house at the same time.”

“What does she say?”

“My moms? What do you mean what does she say?”

“Like does she keep up with your career like your father claimed he did?”

“Oh, nah. She don’t say much of nothing.”

I curled my knees into my chest, the pillow saturated with my feelings for his lost soul.

“Does she say hello?” My face contorted, unable to believe how dispassionate this woman was toward her son.

I couldn’t imagine breathing on any corner of this planet and not showering Kyree with the love and enthusiasm for his life he deserved.

“When I do, she does.” His voice cracked.

Before I realized I was in motion, I was partially on top of his hard thick frame.

Her arms where aside my shoulders, her breath on my face first and her mouth was spot on top of mine in the darkness. I felt her tears on my lips before I tasted them. In fact, I was sure I tasted more fluids than what dripped from her eyes. Jade took my mouth with force. Her hot tongue pushed through my lips without preamble. I had to get my brain out of the rut she’d just put it into, reminiscing about my fucked up childhood, but I eventually snapped out of it and was tossed into the realm of acceptance and empathy she was now directing me to. Jade made me feel covered when I put my feelings out there about someone other than Shank and Ezra. By kissing me, she gave me a safe place to mourn the little boy who was neglected by his owners like a stray dog. That’s what I likened myself to as a kid after Trevor died. I was like a dog until Shank stepped up. I needed my owner for food, but I was trained to do everything else: groom, go to school, and entertain myself.

With her little frame halfway on me, she embraced my shoulders and then head gently, holding me like I was precious. This was some feminine shit I ain’t never felt with a woman, with a person. With her this close, I smelled the essence embedded in her skin, I could feel the natural temperature of her body. It was weird, because I’d been with countless women, but never had I felt this close. This intimate. Jade’s legs remained on the bed, which made the difference. This wasn’t sexual like when she went down on me last week. This was her nurturing me as a man to account for the little boy inside.

“You’re precious,” she cried against my lips, her little frame shaking as it hovered over me. “You’re a gift to the world, Trent, and not for what you could do when you were working. For what you bring to the world in here.” Her soft palm splayed over my chest, on my right pec.

Then her lips were on mine again, and her tongue against mine again. This time I didn’t need to think if I could trust her. I opened my mouth and gave her my tongue while I chased her lips around mine. Our first kiss was more than I’d ever experienced, filled with more than I’d ever been given. My hands were in her hair fisting her closer as if it were possible. My breathing was rough and expelled with an emotion that, in the moment and in the darkness of my safe quarters, I wasn’t afraid to explore.