Love Inspired June 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Homecoming\The Amish Widow's Secret\Safe in the Fireman's Arms (24 page)

Bishop Miller's wife hurried to Sarah and put her arms around her trembling body. “Let us leave all this for today and have cold tea in the kitchen. We're all tired and nerves frayed. Today a barn goes up. It is a happy day, Sarah. One full of promise. Let us celebrate and not speak words that cannot be taken back.”

Mose waited, wondering if Sarah would relent. She turned and stared deep into the eyes of the woman next to her. Moments passed and then she crumbled, tears running down her face as she was escorted away.

Mose watched the door shut behind the women. He longed to know if Sarah was all right but knew she wouldn't want him interfering. “What's going on?” Mose murmured to Eric, Sarah's brother.

“Someone has found proof that Sarah was the one who gave money to Lukas, a young teenager who recently ran away from the community.”

“Money? Why would she do that?” They spoke in whispers, his food forgotten.

“I only heard a moment of conversation but it seems
Daed
saw her speaking with the boy's younger brother the day before Lukas took him and left for places unknown.”

“That's not solid proof. Sarah must be given a chance to redeem herself.”

“She'll get her chance. A meeting has been called, and I plan to talk to Bishop Miller before it comes around. I suspect she'll be shunned, but I have to make an effort to calm the waters. Lord alone knows what would happen to her if she's forced to live amongst the
Englisch
.” Eric got up to leave, but turned back to Mose. “Marta's offered to look after the
kinder
at our house until tomorrow. Sarah is too upset to think clearly. ”

* * *

Tired from the long day of cooking and cleaning, Sarah lay across her childhood bed on the second floor of her father's house, her pillow wet from tears. She cried for Joseph, for the life she'd lost with him, and for the loneliness she'd felt every day since he'd died. She needed Joseph and he was gone forever.

Marta held her hand in a firm grip. “You mustn't fret so, Sarah. The children can stay with Eric and me tonight. Most likely you will be given a talking to tomorrow and nothing more.”

“And if I'm shunned, what then? You and Eric won't be allowed to talk to me. The whole community will say I'm dead to them. Who will I call family?”

“Why did you give Lukas money? You knew you ran the risk of being found out.”

Sarah sat up, tucking her dress under her legs. Marta handed her a clean white handkerchief and watched as Sarah wiped the tears off her face. “I couldn't take it anymore. Every day I heard the abuse. Every day I heard the boys crying out in pain.”

“Did you talk to any of the elders about this?”

“I talked to them but they put me off, said I was a woman and didn't understand the role a father played in a boy's life.” Sarah blew her nose and tried to regain control of the tremors that shook her body.

“But surely beating a young boy senseless is not in
Gott's
plan. Do you believe your
daed
would tell on you if he knew it was you who gave the boys money?”

“Of course he would, but he didn't know. I made sure he was gone the day I slipped money to Lukas.”

“Then how?”

Sarah smoothed the wrinkles out of her quilt and set the bed back in order. “It doesn't matter now.”

“How would you survive among the
Englisch
? You know nothing about them. Your whole life has been Amish. I fear for you, Sarah.” Marta brushed away her tears as they continued to fall.

A shiver ran through Sarah as she thought about what Marta said. She wouldn't be strong enough to endure the radical changes that would have faced her. Thank
Gott
for Mose's offer of marriage, for the opportunity to go to Sarasota and leave all this behind. But would he want to marry her if she was shunned and was she prepared for a loveless marriage? She feared not.
Gott's will. Grab hold of Gott's will.

Chapter Four

S
arah roamed through the small farmhouse, gathering memories of Joseph and their time together. She had no picture to keep him alive in her mind, only objects she could touch to feel closer to him.

A sleepless night at her father's farm, after her confrontation with the bishop, had left her depressed and bone tired.

Downstairs, she smiled as she picked up a shiny black vase from the kitchen window. When Joseph had bought it that early spring morning, he'd known he'd broken one of the Old Order Amish
Ordnung
laws laid down by Bishop Miller. The vase was a token of Joseph's love. It was to hold the wildflowers they gathered on their long walks in the meadows. The day he'd surprised her with the vase she'd cried for joy. Now it felt cold and empty like her broken heart. The vase was the only real decoration in the farmhouse, as was custom, but their wedding quilt, traditionally made in honor of their wedding by the community's sewing circle, hung on the wall in the great room.

In front of the wide kitchen windows, she fingered the vase's smooth surface, remembering precious moments. Their wedding, days of visiting family and friends, the first time she'd been allowed to see the farmhouse he'd built with other men from the area. He'd laughed at her as she'd squealed with delight. The simple, white two-story house was to be their home for the rest of their lives. He'd gently kissed her and whispered, “I love you.”

Moved to tears, her vision blurred. She stumbled to the stairs and climbed them one by one, her head swimming with momentary dizziness. On the landing she caught her breath before walking into their neat, tiny bedroom. Moments later she found the shirt she'd made for Joseph to wear on their wedding day hanging in the closet next to several work shirts and two of her own plain dresses.

Sarah tucked the blue shirt on top of a pile of notes and papers she'd put in the brown valise just after he'd died. He used the heavy case when he'd taken short trips to the Ohio Valley area communities to discuss the drought. In a few days she'd use it to pack and leave this beloved farmhouse forever.

Her dresses and his old King James Bible, along with the last order for hayseeds written in his bold print, went into the case. The Book of Psalms she'd given him at Christmas slipped into her apron pocket with ease. Her memories of him would be locked away in this heavy case, the key stashed somewhere safe.

Most of her other clothes and belongings would be left. She'd have no need for them now. Mose would take care of her. A fresh wave of anxiety flushed through her. She had no idea if she could go through with this marriage.

She thought back to Joseph and wondered what he'd think of the drama surrounding her.
He'd be disappointed.
He'd followed the tenets of the Old Order church faithfully. The rules of the community were a way of life he'd gladly accepted. Yes, he'd be disappointed in her.

She faced shunning. Bishop Miller preached that those who were shunned or left the faith would go to hell. Joseph was with the Lord.
I'd never see my husband again.

A wave of dizziness caught her unaware and she grabbed the bed's railings to steady herself. Moments later, disoriented and sick to her stomach, she sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the world to stop spinning. All the stress had frayed her nerves and made her ill.

A loud knock came from downstairs. Sarah froze. She didn't want to talk to anyone, not even Marta, but knew she'd have to see her before she left. There were others in the community she'd miss, too. Her distant family members, her old schoolteacher, the friendly
Englisch
woman at the sewing store...all the people who meant everything to her. They'd wonder what really had happened, why she suddenly had disappeared, but she knew someone would tell them what she'd done. Her head dropped. A wave of nausea rolled her stomach, twisting it in knots.

The knock became louder, more insistent. She moved to the bedroom window. No buggy was parked out front. Perhaps one of the neighborhood
kinder
was playing a joke on her. She checked the front steps and saw the broad frame of a man. Had her father come to give her one last stab to the heart? It would be just like him to come and taunt her about her coming marriage to Mose.

“Sarah? Are you there? Please let me in.”

Mose's voice called from her doorstep. He sounded concerned, perhaps even alarmed. Had something happened to one of the
kinder
? Why would he seek her out? He'd heard it all. He was an elder in his community. Even if he wasn't Old Order Amish and didn't live as strict a life as she did, but he'd be angry she'd given the boys money and would judge her. Still, he was a good man, a kind man. Perhaps he just wanted to talk to her.

The thought of his kindness had her rushing down the stairs and opening the heavy wood door Joseph had made with his own hands. She used the door as a shield, opening it just a crack.
“Ya?”
She could see a slice of him, his hair wind-blown, blue eyes searching her face.

“Hello, Sarah. I thought I might find you here.”

She nodded her head in greeting.

“Are you all right?” Mose's hand rested on the doorjamb, as if he expected to be let into the house.

Sarah held the door firm. “I'm fine. What do you want, Mose? I have things to do. I'm very busy.”

“I'm worried about you. You've been through so much.”

“And none of it is your business,” Sarah snapped, instantly wishing she could take back her bitter words. He'd done nothing but be kind to her. She missed the girls and wondered how they were, if Marta was still caring for them. She pushed strands of hair out of her eyes and searched his expression. She saw no signs of judgment.

“You're right. All this is none of my business, but I am soon to be your husband. I want to help, if I can. Please, can I come in for a moment?”

On trembling legs, she stepped back to open the door all the way. “Come in.”

Mose stepped past Sarah into the silent house. Sarah glanced around. Nothing seemed out of place. There was no dust, no evidence anyone even lived here.

He turned back to Sarah. “I tried to find you after everyone left yesterday. Beatrice was asking for you.
Kinder
don't understand why adults do what they do.”

“I did what everyone is saying,” Sarah blurted out, then offered a seat to Mose, but stood, swaying to and fro.

“Sit with me before you fall, you stubborn woman.” Mose took Sarah's elbow, guided her to a wood-framed rocking chair with a padded seat and back rest. She didn't resist, but once down, her fingers went white-knuckled on the chair's arms.

Mose sat on the couch opposite her. “You said there was no misunderstanding. Did you give the boy money so he and his brother could leave the community as the bishop said?”

“
Ya
. I did.”

“Why did you help them? They have a father who's very worried about them,” Mose said.

“I'm sure he is concerned. He needs their strong backs to run his farm. They're better off away from him.” Sarah stared into space, her features ridged, unrelenting.

“You've heard from them?”

She looked at him. “
Ya
, I did. They're staying with their sister, Katherine, in Missouri. She took them in after...” Her voice trailed off.

“After what, Sarah?” Emotions played on her face. Something was not being said. Mose felt sure she'd acted out of kindness. He hadn't known her long but felt sure she wasn't the type to interfere in other people's business, especially to separate a family.

Sarah drew in a ragged breath. “After the boy's father beat Lukas until he could barely move, that's what. His
bruder
, Ben, was getting older and had begun to talk back to his father, too. Lukas knew it was only a matter of time before his
daed
would use the strap on him. Lukas asked me to help them get away. I knew the boy was telling the truth about the risks of more violent beatings. They were in danger.

“Lukas's father is a harsh man and had taken to drink. He took his anger out on his sons when the crops failed or something went wrong. Lukas had made the mistake of asking to go on
rumspringa
with some of his friends in the next community, and his father had flown into a rage. This beating wasn't the first Lukas had endured, but it was the worst. He was often whipped with a cane. I could hear his cries for mercy blowing across the field that separates our land. Joseph and I had often prayed for the boys, asking
Gott
for a hedge of protection.” Sarah swallowed hard and went on. “Joseph wouldn't stand for the whippings and had warned the father, even threatened to talk to Bishop Miller about the situation...but after Joseph died, the beatings began again.”

Mose reached across and took one of Sarah's hands and squeezed. Her fingers were cold and stiff. “Does Bishop Miller know all this?”

Sarah jerked her hand back. “I tried to tell him many times, but he told me to keep my nose out of other people's business. He said men were supposed to discipline their
kinder
, but this wasn't discipline, Mose. This was pure abuse.” Sarah pushed back her hair and gasped. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize my
kapp
was missing. It must have fallen off when I...” Her head dropped and she sat perfectly still.

“When you what, Sarah?”

“I almost fainted. I've been ill and forgot to eat this morning.”

“You need to be in bed with someone taking care of you.”

“
Nee
, that's not possible. The Bishop's called a meeting. I decided I must be there to defend my actions. I have to at least try.”

Mose watched her as she spoke. He could see she was terrified of being shunned. Who wouldn't be? As strict as Bishop Miller was, anything was possible, including shunning. “I could speak to the Bishop and the elders and see if—”

“
Nee
,
danke
for offering, but I'd rather you didn't.”

“He may still declare you shunned, even if we marry and you leave the community.”

She paled a chalky white. “But...I thought if I left, all that could be avoided.”

“
Nee
. I don't think he's feeling generous, but I could be wrong.”

“Then shunned it is. I'll have to learn to live with it, though I don't know how.”

Mose leaned forward, their gaze connecting. He meant it when he'd promised security, strength. Things she no longer had. “Don't fret, Sarah.
Gott
will make a way.”

* * *

Sarah checked the position of her
kapp
and dreaded the thought of what was about to take place this evening. Mose sat tall and straight, his hands folded in his lap, the picture of calm. She wished she had his determination. She was too emotional lately. Everything seemed so hard, as though she was climbing a hill, her feet sliding out from under her in slippery mud.

The moments ticked by. The room darkened as dusk surrendered to the shadows of night.

The heavy door to the bishop's chambers opened with a squeak. Sarah jumped.

Mose stood, pulling her up off the chair as he took his first step forward. She hesitated. He turned back to her. “All will be well, Sarah. Leave it to me. I will be your strength.”

She knew the bishop. Doubt flooded in. She tried to clear her thoughts and prepare herself for the ugly confrontation.

An old wood table with chairs all around filled the small, stifling room. “Sit here, Sarah, and you there, Mose,” Karl Yoder prompted, motioning to two empty chairs positioned at the middle of the table. The position would place them directly across from Bishop Miller. The elder walked with them toward their chairs. A distant cousin, she'd known Karl all her life. He'd been Sarah's favorite church leader growing up. She'd gone to him and his wife when life had gotten to be more than she could bear as a teenager. She wondered what he thought of her now. He looked stern, but flashed a smile, giving her hope.

Hands were extended to Mose as he greeted each man. He introduced himself to those who didn't know him. Sarah counted six men at the table. Sneaking a glance at Bishop Miller, she saw his jaw tighten. Just for a second their eyes met and she quickly looked away, only to notice her father sitting bent over in the corner of the room. She averted her gaze and looked down at the floor. Her hands gripped in a knot on her lap. She waited. Mose cleared his throat, the only nervous sound he'd made since they'd come into the room.

Ernst Miller, the bishop's son, stood. “This meeting is called to discuss the matter of Sarah Nolt.”

Off to the side, Sarah's father rose, almost knocking over his seat. He blurted out, “I want to know why Mose Fischer is allowed to sit in on this meeting? He's not a member of our community. What's going on today has nothing to do with him.”

“All will be explained in good time,” Ernst assured him and motioned for Adolph to take his seat.

The high color in her father's cheeks told her he was in a fine temper and nothing they said would keep him calm.

“As I was saying,” Ernst continued, his tone holding a slight edge. “We are here to discuss the recent actions of Sarah Nolt.” His gaze drifted to Sarah.

She looked directly in his eyes.
Don't let him ask me about the beatings.
She had enough problems without stirring up a hornet's nest of accusations against her neighbor, accusations she couldn't prove.

“How well did you know Lukas and Benjamin Hochstetler?”

“Not well,” she replied. “I knew they lived at the farm next to ours. They moved in several weeks after Joseph and I married.” Bringing up Joseph's name set her heart pounding. She paused for a few seconds and then continued, “I used to take the boys drinks of cool water on hot afternoons when they'd plowed the field closest to our home.”