Love Inspired June 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Homecoming\The Amish Widow's Secret\Safe in the Fireman's Arms (25 page)

“So you did get to know them well?” Ernst asked.

“Not really. They were always busy about the farm and I seldom left the house, so that didn't leave much time for socializing.”

“But you spoke to them from time to time?”

“Yes, I did. I liked the boys. They were lonely, hardworking
kinder
and seldom saw people other than their fa—”

“How did you hear they had run away and ended up in Missouri?” The bishop spoke up, stepping on her last word. Ernst sat down, content to let his father continue.

Sarah pulled her feet under her skirt.
How do I answer this without digging up more dirt?
“I received a letter.”

“A letter from Lukas?”

“
Nee.
The letter was from Benjamin.”

The Bishop's voice rose. “Not from Lukas?”

“Nee.”
Sarah shook her head.

Bishop Miller leaned forward on his elbows. “What did the letter say?”

Sarah couldn't help but smile, remembering Benjamin's barely legible scrawl. The note told about the joy he felt with his sister's family. “He said they had arrived in Missouri and that their sister was happy to see them.”

“Did you know they were going to Missouri?”

“
Nee
. I didn't.” Sarah was glad she could answer with honesty. Lukas had never told her their destination, only that family wanted them.

A man, someone Sarah was unfamiliar with, leaned over to the Bishop and spoke quietly in his ear. The man spoke at length. Each word seemed to last an eternity. Finally the man sat and Bishop Miller continued.

“Sarah Nolt. Did you give money to Lukas, knowing he planned to use the funds to leave this community?”

Sarah swallowed hard, preparing herself for what was to come. The truth had to come out, whatever the cost. “
Ya
, I did.”

Loud conversation broke out amongst the men. Bishop Miller slammed his fist on the wood table to regain control of the room.

“You know what you're admitting to, what the consequences could be?”

Mose stood, surprising Sarah. “The only thing she's admitting to is helping the boys out of a life-threatening situation, nothing more. In all fairness, I think this question should be asked.” He turned to her. “Sarah, why did you help the boys?”

The same poker-faced man leaned over and spoke to the Bishop again. A quiet barrage of words went back and forth before the question was asked by the bishop. “Why did you feel it necessary to help the boys, Sarah?”

The loud heartbeats in her ears made it hard for her to hear his question. She looked at Mose and he nodded, encouraging her to tell them her story. “Joseph and I made it a habit to sit out on the porch swing each evening. Right after the Hochstetler family moved into the old farm across the field, we often heard the sound of a child crying and a man yelling in anger. More than once Joseph hurried over to the farm and would come back red-faced with frustration. He wouldn't tell me what happened, but the child's crying always stopped.”

“Did you ever ask Lukas about these times?” The man sitting next to the Bishop asked this question.

Sarah pulled on one of the strings to her prayer
kapp
, working out how she could speak without some kind of proof. “He told me his father often whipped him with a strap.”

The bishop stood. “We spoke of this before, Sarah. You were told to stay out of this family's business. I spoke to the father myself. He said the older boy was rebellious and had to have these whippings as a form of correction.”

Sarah looked up, holding Bishop Miller's gaze. “Did he tell you he beat Lukas so badly the child couldn't walk for a time? Or about the scars on the child's back from being whipped with a buggy whip? Would you have whipped your son in this manner, I wonder? Would you lock him up in a chicken coop for a week with nothing to eat but raw eggs?”

“
Kinder
are prone to lie, Sarah. We all know the problem you had with lying as a teen.”

The bishop's voice cut into her like a knife. She'd cried out for help as a child, but no one had taken notice of her father's cruelty.

“I did not lie as a child, and I do not lie now. It's all true. I have no proof, but I have the satisfaction of knowing I helped rescue those boys from an abusive father, someone Joseph kept in line until his death.”

Her father was out of his chair and leaning over Sarah in seconds. “Do you accuse me of abuse, too?” Fury cut hard edges into his face.

Mose rose and stood next to Sarah. “This is not the time to—”

“This is the perfect time to bring up this girl's past.” Adolph bent low, shaking his finger in Sarah's face. “This is all a lie, isn't it, Sarah? A lie about me and a lie about the reason you sent the boys away.”

Sarah took in a deep gulp of air, stood and prepared for the worst. “I did not lie about you. You
are
cruel, Father.” She faced him. Her heart hammered.

“I've lived this lie long enough. It is time for all to be made clear,” Adolph yelled at the bishop.

Bishop Miller jumped to his feet and walked toward Adolph. “This is not the time or place,
Herr
Yoder.”

“It is the perfect time, Ralf. I will not be silent and have my good name tainted by this girl. She is no longer my responsibility and I want no further contact with her. She brings back painful memories, memories I need to forget.”

“Years ago we agreed—”

“You told me what I had to do, and I did it. But I will not be held responsible any longer. I have done my share of giving to this community when I married her mother, that pregnant Amish woman.”

Sarah's body shook with cold. Blood drained from her face. “What are you saying,
Daed
?”

“Don't call me
daed
again, Sarah Nolt. I am not your father. Your father was an
Englisch
drunk.”

The small room seemed to close in around Sarah. Everyone went silent. Their gazes shifted from Sarah to Adolph. Her father's hands clenched into fists. “I will not be shunned because of you, do you hear me, woman?” His balled fist pounded the table, startling everyone. “I did nothing but try to help a stranger in our midst, an Amish girl who was pregnant and desperate.”

An ugly smirk grew on his face, narrowing his eyes and slashing his mouth. “The thanks I got for all my kindness was a spoiled
kinder
and a lying witch of a wife who finally ran off with the same
Englisch
drunk who got her pregnant.”

He leaned in, his hands palm down on the table, facing Sarah. “You are their bastard child. I don't guess you knew that, did you? I raised you as my own, but no more. You've broken too many
Ordnung
rules and deserve to be shunned. I will not have my family's name besmirched by your actions.”

Sarah stood, her legs trembling out of control.

Adolph began to pace the room. “Eric is my son, my blood. He makes me proud. But you!” He turned, his bony finger pointing at her. “You bring me nothing but shame. You are not my daughter by blood and the bishop knows it.” He moved toward Bishop Miller's chair and stared directly at him. “You know I'm telling the truth. Tell her.” He turned back to Sarah. “You must go. Now. ”

Mose caught Sarah around the waist as she swayed.

“Come. Let me help you to the chair.” He propped her limp body against his. She groaned. He looked up, his eyes sparking fire at Adolph Yoder. “You're an evil, cruel old man. You don't deserve a daughter as fine and loving as Sarah. All you know is hatred and cruelty.
You
should be banned from this community, not this tenderhearted girl.” He looked down at Sarah's bowed head and wished he could strike the man who'd made her like this. He believed problems could be fixed with prayer and conversation, not violence. But today he yearned for a physical release to his anger. He wanted to physically hurt him until Sarah's pain ended.

Bishop Miller and the community elders stood, their chairs scraping back as they faced Adolph. “There was no need for this, Adolph. I would never have let you come to the meeting if I'd known you would act in this manner,” Bishop Miller said. “
Herr
Stoltzfus, go find Eric and tell him to come collect his father. We no longer have need of him at this meeting.”

“You can't do that,” Adolph blurted out. “I only said what was true.” He glared at Sarah. “She's been nothing but trouble, that girl. I'm innocent of any wrongdoing. You all know I am. Everyone here knows who she really is, what she's done. I'll share none of the blame for her actions. Eric and I want nothing to do with her any longer. You must...”

“
Nee
, Adolph. I think you are mistaken. I do
not
have to listen to you.” Red-faced, Bishop Miller spat out his words. “I want you out of this room and gone from my home.”

“But...”

“You will leave or be shunned today. Do I make myself clear?” He sat and began to write in a ledger. “I declare there will be no shunning for Sarah Nolt this day, but she must leave the community as soon as possible. What she did was wrong, even if her actions were prompted by her love for these
kinder
. I should have listened to her when she came to me with her story. All of this could have been avoided.”

Sarah lifted her head, shocked the bishop would admit fault of any kind. Tears cascaded down her pale face. Her voice shook as she spoke. “I wish no harm to come to my...to Adolph Yoder. Mose and I will leave here as soon as we are married. I hope to be allowed back into the community to see my brother and his wife sometime in the future, if you will allow it.”

The bishop laid down his pen. “You can come back from time to time, Sarah, but you'll be watched closely. Your actions were just too foolhardy to be swept away. Mose has informed us of your engagement. I'll arrange for one of the preachers to marry you before you go, but only because of my love and respect for his father and family.”

Sarah rose from her chair.
“Danke,”
she murmured, swaying. She avoided looking into the bishop's eyes. Mose grabbed her hand and assisted her across the room and then quietly shut the door behind them.

Chapter Five

T
he freshly pressed blue cotton wedding dress hung on a plain wire hanger. Sarah put the still warm iron on the woodstove's burner and shoved the padded wooden clothes press back under the sink.

She took a glass from the kitchen cupboard Joseph had made and filled it with water. Tired beyond words, she pulled out a kitchen chair and sat. Her trembling hands covered her face. Warm tears slipped through her fingers. She would be married just hours from now. She'd prepare the same meal she'd cooked for Joseph on their wedding day and wear the same wedding dress she'd sewn for their special day. It was tradition.

Memories flooded in, choking her throat closed. Joseph had looked so handsome in his black suit and white shirt the afternoon they'd married. That bright morning all those months ago, she'd cooked several dishes for their wedding meal. Her heart light, singing old gospel songs, she'd hurried through the preparation.

The meal prepared, she'd dressed with care and anticipation. She'd slipped her homemade blue wedding dress over her head just moments before he'd rung the doorbell. Joseph had arrived with flowers picked from the field behind her father's farmhouse. Laughter and joy had filled the house as they'd eaten together. Later many people had come and filled the house with more love than she'd ever dreamed possible.

Marta's hand on Sarah's arm jerked her from her memories.

“I'm sorry, Sarah, but it's time. It's almost seven and we have to meet Eric for the wedding.” She looked into Sarah's eyes. “You need to wash your face and remove all traces of red from your eyes. I know all this has been hard on you. I don't know how you can marry a man you don't love, but then I've not walked in your shoes. We all survive
Gott's
will the best we can.”

Marta helped Sarah prepare, pulling her wedding dress over her head and letting the fabric settle around her hips.

“There, just right.” Marta gave an appreciative sigh, adjusted the garment here and there and smiled. “I was worried the dress would be too small for you since you put on some needed weight. Thank
Gott
you did. You'd gotten so thin after—”

“After Joseph died?” Sarah finished for her.

“Well, yes...but you're back to your normal weight now and look
wunderbaar
. I'm so glad this day has finally arrived. I've been concerned for you for so many months.”

“I've had to force myself to eat. Joseph would want me strong and living life to the fullest.”

“But today is not about Joseph. This is Mose's day and you must put your memories of Joseph away now. He is gone. The grave is—”

“Closed. Yes, I know.” She'd heard the phrase a hundred times, knew it was true, but somehow she couldn't put the memories of Joseph away, like he'd never existed. “Yes, I know better than anyone the grave is closed.”

Marta sighed. “I don't mean to be cruel, but you must find a way to release Joseph. This marriage to Mose is for the rest of your life. If you don't settle these feelings for Joseph, you'll grieve yourself to death.”

Sarah hugged Marta, something frowned on by her Old Order Amish community, but often shared by the two friends. She appreciated how hard it must be for Marta to say all these things about Joseph, her own dead brother. She'd loved him without limit. Somehow she'd found a way to release him to
Gott
. Sarah knew she had to find a way to do the same.

Forcing a smile, she rested her hands on Marta's tiny shoulders. “I'll get through this day and all the days to come. Mose has been so kind to me, so understanding. He deserves a wife who loves him. I will be true to
Gott's
plan and be the best wife I can be.” Sarah took a deep breath and pushed it out. “Now, let's get this dress hooked up and go downstairs. We shouldn't keep Mose waiting any longer.”

They worked the back hooks of the dress up together, Sarah twisting and turning, trying her best to close them at her waistline. “They just won't close here,” she said, and they both laughed. “I guess I've gained more weight than I thought.”

“Don't fret,” Marta smacked away Sarah's scrambling fingers. “Your apron will hide the gap. No one will notice.”

The dark mood lifted; both women smiled as Marta began to work on Sarah's long hair. “Your
kapp
must be perfectly placed. Every old woman at the service will be gauging and measuring.”

Sarah looked into the mirror and wished the dark circles under her eyes would go away. “Will people come to the wedding?” Sarah wrung her hands.

“Oh, some will come out of morbid curiosity, some to mutter and make harsh comments, but the rest will be here for you because they love you. You must be prepared for what some might say and ignore them.” She beamed at Sarah. “Now we talk only about good things, like how beautiful you look.”

“Do you think Mose will approve of my dress? He may be used to finer things.” Sarah fiddled with the waistband of her apron.
Please, don't let anyone notice my weight gain, Gott.

“I think he'll be too busy being nervous to notice the shadows under those beautiful eyes of yours. Now, let's get going before Eric comes up to drag us to the house. It's good the service was allowed to be held at our home,” Marta said. “Just remember the important people in your life will be there, and that's what matters.”

“I need to pray,” Sarah insisted, remembering the promise she'd made to
Gott
. She would put all she was into this new marriage. Mose deserved her loyalty and she had every intention of giving it to him.

They bowed their heads in reverence. Sarah closed her eyes.
Lord
, Gott,
please bless this union. It might be wrong to marry without love, but Mose and I need each other. Pour your favor on the wedding guests and bless the meal afterward. Give us your approval today. Help me get over this draining virus. I need to be strong for the girls as we travel to Florida. Help me to be a good mamm to the kinder and an acceptable wife for Mose Fischer. Amen.

“You look radiant.” Marta stood just behind Sarah and adjusted the back of the prayer
kapp
, making the placement perfect. “I've asked a few of the women to take the baby up to the bedroom if she fusses, and Beatrice has been warned to be quiet, or she'll find herself in bed with her sister.”

Lingering for a moment, Sarah breathed deeply. Marta finally put her hands on Sarah's back and pushed her toward the door.

They walked slowly down the stairs and into the great room, where benches were lined up in rows. The sound of the back door shutting told her people were still arriving. She looked around and smiled at the sight of Beatrice sitting at the back. Mercy sat on the lap of one of Sarah's cousins. The little girl chewed on a toy. She took in their freshly washed appearance and plain dresses and smiled. These little girls would soon be her daughters. Her forced smile warmed to a happy grin.

She turned toward Mose. He looked handsome in his borrowed black suit and newly purchased white wedding shirt. She watched with pride as he walked in her direction. He moved with purpose, his demeanor calm, so different from her high-spirited Joseph the day they had wed. She knew so little about Mose Fischer, the man who would become her husband in a matter of minutes. He walked up to her and she suddenly felt shy and as tongue-tied as a young, innocent girl. “You look very handsome.”

“So do you,” Mose said, then quickly corrected himself. “I didn't mean to imply you looked handsome. What I meant is, you look exceptionally beautiful tonight.” He laughed, but the sound came out edged with nerves. Perhaps he'd been thinking similar thoughts, that they barely knew each other. She accepted Mose's outstretched arm and let him lead her toward the back of the room.

A handful of people sat scattered around the room, somber-looking men on one side and their wives, most busy with restless school-age
kinder
, on the other.

Someone cleared his voice and Sarah jumped. Ruben Yoder, her distant cousin, came out of the room off to the left and stood at the front of the room, prepared to sing. In a fine tenor voice, he sang a single verse of an ancient song of praise, one she'd never heard before. The congregation sang seven stanzas of another old song from the Ausband. Sarah joined in, listening to Mose's voice for the first time.

Several songs later,
Herr
Miller, the bishop's son, stood and recited Genesis 2:18 from the King James Bible.

The hour of songs and scripture verses seemed to go on and on. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Beatrice being led out of the room and through the kitchen door. The child had done well, waiting all this time for something interesting to happen before being sent away.

Bishop Miller came into the room, her brother, Eric, following behind him. Several of the other ordained preachers lined up. As Eric moved to take the song leader's place at the front, Sarah realized her brother would be performing the wedding service and not the Bishop. Eric had been elected as one of the community's new preachers a few weeks ago and she was so pleased she and Mose would be married by him.

Bishop Miller settled in a chair behind Eric. He flashed Sarah a glance. Sarah felt Mose take her hand and squeeze hard, sending a silent message of reassurance. His hand felt warm, the rough calluses on the palm reminding her how hard he'd worked with the men to tear down the old barn and rebuild the new one in just a matter of days. She linked her fingers with his.

Sarah looked at her hand entwined with Mose's tanned fingers. Her pale skin looked so different from his brown skin. They were about to become united in the holy bonds of marriage and she didn't even know his favorite color or what foods he liked to eat. Feeling eyes on her, she glanced up and met his gaze. The iris of his eyes had gone a deep blue with emotion. He was taking this marriage ceremony seriously, and she had to do the same. She respected him beyond measure, but love? A new feeling stirred in her heart. Friendship could grow into love, could it not?

Mose stood and walked to the end of the bench. Sarah rose and stood by his side. Hand-in-hand they walked to the front of the room. Marta met her there and Mose's cousin, Eli Fischer, stood beside him.

Sarah watched her brother's mouth move as he spoke words over them, but had no idea what he said. In her mind she was standing with Joseph, answering the hard questions the pastors and deacons had asked about their loyalty and love for one another. She would answer as if responding to them. She pulled herself from her dream-like state and heard Mose speak.

“I will love Sarah with all my heart and give her my respect and loyalty until the day I die.”

Eric turned her way, his face formal. His eyes met hers. “Will you be loyal to Mose and lean only on him for the rest of your life?”

Sarah turned toward Mose and held his eyes. “I will be loyal to you in all ways and let my love for you grow until my dying day.”

Sarah brother's hand encompassed theirs. “The mercy of God and His blessings be on you today, and every day hence. Leave us now in the name of the Lord. I declare you now man and wife. What
Gott
has put together, let no man put asunder.”

In a traditional wedding service, songs would have been sung now, but their marriage was anything but traditional. Months ago she'd been given the name Sarah Nolt. Now she would be known as Sarah Fischer. The name sounded strange to her, almost foreign.

They left the room and headed out into the dreary day. A strong wind blew and Sarah shivered. She tried to be excited for Mose's sake. He was a generous man, had rescued her. Thanks to him she could still be connected to her brother, Eric, and sister-in-law, Marta. She was the new bride of Mose Fischer, a fine man in good standing in his community. She'd have two beautiful daughters to care for and love. She turned to Mose and excused herself, a forced smile spread across her face. She should be happy, but she wasn't. Joseph's memory was always there. Memories of what she'd done and how he'd died. “I'll be right back and meet you in the kitchen, just before the meal.”

Well-wishers interrupted her walk up the stairs several times, but she finally made it to the room and fell across the bed, her pent-up tears releasing.

Moments later, Marta rushed into the room, sat on the edge of the quilt-covered bed and took Sarah's hand in hers. “You didn't answer the door when I knocked.”

Sarah wiped her tears away and forced a smile. “I'm sorry.”

“Do you want to be left alone? I can come back in a bit and help you prepare for your trip.”

“
Nee
, there's no need for you to leave. It's time I pull myself together and rejoin my guests, eat and say goodbye. Beatrice and the baby should be awakened. They will need to eat before we go.”

“That's why I came in. Mercy's just up from her nap. Mose said to tell you he'd be back in a few minutes. He's got a surprise for you and seems very excited.”

Sarah sighed. “He's been nothing but wonderful. I don't know what I would have done without him. He deserves so much better than me.”

“
Ach
, I will not listen to such foolishness.” Marta hugged her. “He is a fine man, I'll give you that. But you're a wonderful woman and will make him a great wife and mother for the girls.”

“I pray you're right,” Sarah said. “Where are the girls? Did Mose take them with him?”

“Beatrice insisted she be allowed to go. Seems she's been told about his surprise and can't wait to...”

Sarah grinned. Marta never could keep a secret. “She can't wait to what?”

Marta changed the subject abruptly. “I'll miss you when you're in Florida.”

“I know, but its best we leave as soon as possible. My fath—” Sarah paused and corrected herself “—
Adolph's
inappropriate behavior played a large part in the Bishop's decision not to shun me. I don't want to risk him changing his mind at the last moment.”