Love Is Louder (48 page)

“Yes, I just don’t want to be the reason why you don’t snatch Mr. Right tonight.”

“Okay, smartass, I’ll be just fine.” She giggles in a sultry tone, sarcasm evident in her voice. “I want to clarify what tonight is all about. There are other nights for me to play. You need to live a little, and tonight is all about that. It’s about
you
, “she says, stressing the word.

“I get it. I totally get it.”

“Don’t pull any of that over the top shit I saw with Java Boy,” she says, turning away to check out the crowd at the bar. “Deal?”

I huff out a small laugh, and my body relaxes a little. “Whatever.”

I hope my little flirtation with David doesn’t come back to bite me somehow.
That
would be embarrassing. I hope he forgets it ever happened. I guess I’ll find out the next time I go in to buy coffee, but why do I care? This night is about me, like Ava said. As my eyes roam this room full of people, I get a familiar pang in my chest. Loneliness. My eyes fill with of tears, and for a second, I think I might cry.

Now is not the time to reflect on life. It is the time for me to enjoy it and to finally put myself before everyone else.

“Hey, did you see the man candy behind the bar?” Ava turns, bumping my shoulder with her own and effectively knocking the depressing thoughts out of my skull.

“What happened to all that talk a few seconds ago?” I look over to see what’s gotten her all hot and bothered.

“I’m just taking it all in, and I mean, this guy. Where the hell has he been hiding?”

“Well, where is he?”

“Over there with all the hussies vying for his attention.” She points a perfectly manicured finger toward the bar.

When I follow her finger across the room, my eyes land on Micah lining up some shots for a bridal party.

“Ohhh…I know him.”

“What?” Ava whips her attention to me.

“Mason’s brother,” I say, unfazed by Micah’s startling good looks. He’s tall with dirty blonde hair, strong chin, full red lips, and hazel eyes.

“Oh...wow. We need to make this little meeting happen ASAP. I won’t go home with him, but I’m gonna get his number by the end of the night.”

“I don’t doubt you for a second.”

“Come on.” Grabbing my arm, she drags me toward the bar where the line for drinks is two rows deep.

“Be nice,” I tease, playfully bumping her with my hip.

“I’m good at reading men, and this one doesn’t like nice. He wants
naughty
, and I’m plenty naughty.”

“Oh no, what are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“‘Nothing’ is always something with you!”

“Quiet from the peanut gallery. I’ll get our drinks. You stay put!” she yells as she saunters her way to the bar, flagging down Micah as she shimmies in between bodies.

I shake my head, struggling to stay erect on my unstable feet while waiting for Ava to order and make her move on Micah. I’m glad Ava talked me into this night. Being here like this is making me feel free and alive.

Annoyed with the overzealous crowd, I maneuver cautiously between bodies toward the stage hoping to find a reprieve, but I quickly realize the area around the stage is much more crowded. As I stand sandwiched between a couple tangling tongues and a leather clad biker with an intricate tattoo of a mermaid on his arm eye-fucking me, the next act starts playing “Blurry” by Puddle of Mud.

“Couldn’t they have picked a less depressing song to play?” I mumble under my breath, but I find myself singing the words to the first couple of verses anyway.

When there’s a break in the music, my name being drawn out by a familiar masculine voice rings above the cacophony of noise and shockingly comforts me.

I whirl around and draw in a breath as our eyes connect. Even in my drunken state, I notice everything about him. A buzz goes through my body, a low warm hum that makes my lower belly clench with the only inches separating our bodies.

He smiles and steps toward me. Taking my small hand in his large one, he lowers his soft lips to my hand, and the contact makes my body quiver undeniable attraction. We’ve kissed before, but I feel something more intense from this action. When his mouth leaves my skin, I’m no longer confused by my body’s reaction to his innocent gesture. The guilt has been replaced by yearning. Emotions I’ve kept locked because I’ve been afraid to pursue them due to obligation. When he releases my hand, I stare down at my wedding ring on my finger, debating if I should rip it off.

“I didn’t know you were working tonight.” I take a breath as I straighten my shoulders while he edges closer.

He places his arms across his chest as we stare at each other in silence, me waiting for him to reply. His expression is so reflective that my heartbeat increases as his eyes bounce from my mouth to my eyes.

“Well, I am, and you’re the last person I’d think to see here. Are you okay?”

I open my mouth, but I lose my train of thought. He’s here in front of me, and he does things to me. Now, I don’t know if going out like this was such a good idea. As I gather my head to reply, someone bumps me from behind, causing my body to collide into Mason’s hard chest.

Instantly, Mason reacts, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me flush against his body. I hear the person apologize for knocking me over, but honestly, I’m thanking him for being so inebriated and for allowing this moment to happen.

“Watch it, next time.” Mason bellows.

Instead of releasing me, Mason’s hold on me tightens, the heat of his touch surges through me like an electric charge. There’s so much voltage between us that I picture sparks flying and catching everything on fire. I find myself wanting him to hold me longer. I know this has to end because we both are very aware of the magnetic pull we have for each other. When I look up, his powerful brown eyes are immediately on mine. The expression on his face tells me that he wants more than to just hold me. Quivering from his touch, I take a step back, fearful of where this might lead.

Ava says we leave together. Flirting only.

Whatever is happening between us is going way past flirtation.

“You never answered me since we were interrupted.” He half-grins, but his eyes are still serious.

After composing myself, I mutter, “I just came out to have a drink...to—”

“Are you alone?” he interjects. His voice is level as he breaks eye contact and impatiently shoots his eyes around the room, his nostrils flaring.

“No, I’m here with a friend.”

“You left so quickly the other night. I wasn’t sure what to think or if I should have gone after you. I need to know you’re okay.”

I shake my head. I would be stupid to stay with James whose lies can steal so much away from me now. My future. A family. So many others will be affected.

“This isn’t just about me. It affects you, too.”

Hands clenched to his side, Mason takes a step closer to me. His hand lands on my hip, and a burst of hotness erupts at the touch of his fingers stroking my skin.

“You stand more to lose in all of this. I’ll manage. It’s you I’m worried about.”

This is much worse than I could ever imagine, but despite it all, a strange sort of peace settles over me.

“I just needed to be alone.”

“I don’t think that’s entirely true. You’re here.”

His lips twitch into a smile, and I flush in embarrassment.”My friend...decided to come here.”

“I like your friend already, and I haven’t even met her yet.”

“Well, it looks like Micah just got to meet her,” I say, craning my neck to find Ava scribbling what has to be her number onto a napkin. Shocked at the touch of his hand on my forearm, I turn to face him to see he’s uninterested in Ava and Micah.

“I still want to talk. Not now, but soon. Is that okay?” He watches me closely, waiting for me to finally admit to myself that I can’t bottle this inside, and I can’t drown my problems with alcohol.

“Yes, we will talk. I promise.” And I mean every word.

“Good. I want you to believe that none of this was your fault. You’ve done nothing wrong, Brie.”

We exchange a look, and I know in this one moment he means every word, too. Even if I refuse, he will find a way to make me open up. That’s what friends do.

“Okay,” I whisper, but deep in my heart, the situation is anything but okay. Nothing will ever be the same. I know that despite how Mason makes me feel now, there are questions that still need to be answered, and I don’t know which path to take. I don’t want to think about it now. I want to live in this moment.

I clutch my cell phone in my hand and immediately send Brie another text, which all have gone unanswered, but I continue trying to connect with her. I drove by the photo studio before coming here in hopes of catching her, but the
Closed
signed hung on the door. If I knew where she took her yoga classes, I would drop by there. I even stopped by Ava’s hair salon, knowing that idea was futile. I was afraid she was going to call the cops when I showed up knocking at her door. I couldn’t push her since I have no leg to stand on right now. Brie tells her everything. It has taken losing her to realize I haven’t invested the time and energy in her in the first place.

Raindrops fall, and thunder and lightning flash in the background when I pull into the Bull and Bear to meet Derek. I chuckle to myself at the thought that we’re now on a first name basis. First, it was Officer Harvey; now, it’s Derek. It’s been almost four damn years since I’ve had to associate with this leech, and I’m about ready to put an end to it somehow. I hope this is what this meeting is all about. That the agreement we had four years ago has been honored and that we can all move on, but there’s always a chance that things will not end amicably or continue because Derek knows he has the upper hand with me. Even so, I can’t think about that right now.

Slamming the door, warms drops of rain awaken my skin. I feel the urge to cry.
Why?
My life has become a fiasco, a mess of broken promises, damaging secrets, and lies. Every one of them was made to save or protect the people I love, but now everything I did for them is going to crucify me.

I stalk toward the building and thrust open the doors and take in my surroundings. Since it’s happy hour, the place is packed and busier than I expected. Squinting, I allow my eyesight to adjust. My attention bounces around the room seeking out the one person I came here to fucking see. I clench my hands into hard fists when I pick out Derek at the bar grasping a beer in his burly hand. What possible piece of good news could he give me today? The rage bubbles in my blood as I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and stalk over to the bar. One more fucked-up situation is going to push me over the edge.

I pull the stool, skidding it against the floor beside Derek and causing him to jump and spill some of his beer as he raises it to his mouth. I smirk as he cuts his devious eyes to me.

“Effin Jimmy, I see you found yourself a seat.” His voice is thick with cockiness, and it fuels the anger already brewing inside me.

“Yeah, isn’t that fucking great?” I plop down onto the stool with a heavy sigh and lean forward on my elbows, peering up and down the bar and avoiding eye contact with Derek. Instead, I make it with Micah who smiles crookedly like he knows something I don’t know, and it fucking makes my hands sweaty and my gut churn. If Mason found out about me possibly being Lily’s father, I can’t see why Micah wouldn’t know.

Shit, my existence is becoming more problematic.

Micah approaches, placing his hands onto the bar. “So, what will it be, man?”

“Whiskey neat and a couple of shots of
Patrón
.”

“Sure thing.” He glares at me. That confirms it. He must know about Meadow. Micah has always been the quiet one, never wanting any trouble. If he were anything like Mason, he would probably have my pathetic ass up against the wall.

Derek and I say nothing for a beat as Micah turns to make my drinks.

“What do you want to talk about?” I try to rub away my headache.

Derek draws his beer to his mouth and looks ahead without a word. Micah slides my drinks in front of me, and I nod my head, throwing my credit card onto the bar.