Love is Only a Whisper (Whisper Series) (30 page)

He rolled off
and lay alongside her. He kissed her throat, caressed her hair. After a few
minutes he whispered the words in his heart, “I love you, Nicole.”

Ashton waited
for a response but when none came he realized she’d fallen asleep.

Nicole blinked against the bright sunlight. When she
realized her arms and legs were comfortably entwined around Ashton’s warm body,
she smiled shyly, a wonderful peacefulness wrapping around her.

Her gaze dropped to Ashton who lay sprawled on his back with
his arm thrown around her waist. He was sleek and tanned but what amazed her
was how restful he looked.

He’d apologized. It was a start to heal the wounds to the
heart and to glue back the broken pieces of their relationship. She eased out
bed careful not to wake Ashton and entered the bathroom.

After a quick shower, she saw that he was still sleep, so
she threw on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and walked barefoot out of their
bedroom.

In the kitchen, she prepared breakfast. Humming to herself,
she opened the fridge and pulled out milk and eggs. Ashton loved pancakes.
After mixing all the dry and wet ingredients together she set aside the batter and
then rotated the bacon in the pan.

“You didn’t leave.”

She jumped. “You scared me half to death. I left you
sleeping and snoring.”

He grunted. “I don’t snore.”

Nicole grinned. “I was going to give you another ten minutes
and call you down to eat.”

He stood like an avenging angel in black jeans and a black
shirt. He hadn’t taken the time to shave so a five o’clock shadow clung sexily
to his jawline. He had on cowboy boots that had seen better days. His hair was
damp—apparently from the shower—and glistening.

He frowned but continued to stare at her.

“Why are just standing there? Come on. Breakfast is almost
ready. All I have to do is cook the pancakes.” She turned back to the stove,
removed the bacon from the frying pan and placed it on a paper towel covered
plate. “The coffeepot is already on the table but could you get the glasses of
juice out of the fridge, please?” she threw over her shoulder.

She grabbed their plates started to move to the table when
she noticed that he was still standing in the door. She put the plates on the
table and walked up to him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked scanning his face. He looked tense
and angry. She could feel it. “You look like you just finished running a race,
tired and anxious all rolled up together.”

He didn’t say anything but continued to stare hard at her to
the point it was making her uncomfortable. She took him by the hand and led him
to the table. “Sit. I’ll get the juice. She pulled out the glasses of juice
that she’d put in the fridge earlier, one with orange juice for him and one
filled with cranberry for her.

They ate in silence. His eyes were still glued on her.

After a while, she stopped eating and pushed her plate to
the side. She pointed to the food on his plates. “Why aren’t you eating? I’m on
my second pancake and you haven’t even touched one.”

He pushed back his chair, stood up and started to pace. What
in the world was wrong with him?

Ashton stopped and looked at her with agony in his blue
gaze. “Are you leaving me?”

Didn’t he know that his apology erased some of the scars in
their marriage? Granted there was still healing to be done. While alone
yesterday evening, she’d thought about him and their situation. She came to the
conclusion she wanted to try to save their marriage but it couldn’t be done
with her living at another residence.

She stood up and moved toward him. “Where’s this coming
from?”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that yesterday?”

“I did.”

“No, you told me I wasn’t leaving. You didn’t ask me to stay.”

He remained silent.

“Is it so hard for you to tell me what you’re feeling?

“Remember, I don’t have any feelings.”

“I’m not going let you make me angry. I come to realize you
throw out smart remarks to keep from being exposed.”

“Would it do me any good to let you see?”

“Since you have up a wall, I guess you’ll never know.”

A long sigh escaped through his lips. “We need to talk.”

“I know,” she said. “But not now.”

“Why not?”

“You’re not ready. Once you’re willing to share
everything—your feelings, then we can talk.” Nicole walked out of the kitchen.

###

“What’s eating you?” Brody asked.

Ashton stopped pacing and flopped in the seat next to Brody.
They had just finished a round of golf and were relaxing in a private room at
their country club. As usual, his friend’s head was leaned back, slouched in
the chair with his eyes closed and a tumbler of whiskey in his right hand. Tiffany-shaded
lamps and a crystal carafe of brandy rested on the small table between them.

He could have been a covert spy. Anyone watching him
would’ve thought he was an easy target because of his laid back persona. The
man was cunning and quiet as a mouse but intoned to his surroundings.

“Nicole,” Ashton admitted, then poured brandy into a glass
on the table.

“Go easy.”

He didn’t want or need a lecture on his drinking.

“Alright,” Brody offered quietly, “you want to talk about
whatever’s bothering you?”

“Not really.” He took a sip of the liquor and felt the fire
of it burn right past the knot of pain in his chest.

“I’m listening,” Brody said without opening his eyes.

Hell, where should he start? How to begin?

“I told her I would apologize to Brent.”

Brody opened his eyes and sat up straighter in the chair.

“Then do it.”

“It’s easier said than done.”

“Close the gap between the three of you. Accept that your
brother is in love with your wife and move on. You shouldn’t let it touch what
you have with Nicole.” Brody watched him closely. “What are you afraid of?”

“Betrayal.” Ashton leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his
knees. “I’m afraid she’ll realize one day that she doesn’t want me. I’ve hurt
her. I told myself saying I’m sorry should erase it. My ego got the best of me.
The only important thing in this world is her and the baby. I love her but I
can’t seem to utter the words for her to hear it.”

Silence dropped in room until the only sound was Ashton’s own breathing and the soft tick of the grandfather clock in the corner. His mind raced, his heart pounded and fear mixed with regret chased themselves through his brain. Every thought had one thing in common. Nicole.

“How do I stop holding back?” Ashton slanted a glance at
his friend.

“I’m no expert but you need to cut yourself a break. Love
isn’t for me but its right for you. Take a chance and open yourself up to
Nicole. She’s the right woman for you.”

Setting his brandy snifter on the table, he stood. “Thanks
for listening, buddy. I appreciate it.”

###

Nicole was lounged on the sofa in the library trying to read one of her favorite books but her thoughts keep straying to her husband. It had been three days and they still hadn’t talked. They ate breakfast together, slept in the same bed, made love, but the distance was there.

Feeling a presence, she sat up when he walked into the room.
He moved to the long floor to ceiling window and looked out across the lawn
with his back to her. “I’m going to talk. All I ask is that you please listen.”

“Okay.”

“For a long time, Brent talked about his girl, Nicole. I was
trying to get the Asian office operational so I never really paid much
attention to his calls about his personal life. During the two years, I lived
in Hong Kong; I came to Dallas intermittently but never saw you.”

He slipped his hands in the pockets of his jeans but he
still didn’t turn around. “The day I arrived back in the states for good, I
didn’t tell the parents because I wanted to surprise them with the news that
the Asian project was head of schedule by six months. Before I even saw you, I
could hear your laugher carried in the wind. I felt as if someone had shot a
dose of vitamin B-12 through my veins. The sight of you took my breath away. You
represented everything I wasn’t, joyful, with exuberance for life that was unattainable
to me. At that moment I fell in love you,” he whispered.

“Will you please turn around?” she said calmly. Tears flowed down her cheeks.

He slowly turned and looked at her with his dark, beautiful
blue eyes.

She stood on shaky legs and walked to him. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Nicole. Our marriage has always been about
love.”

“You couldn’t have loved me when you married me. I would
have known if you did.”

Long fingers framed her cheeks. “I didn’t want you to pretend
to feel something that you didn’t so I never said anything. I thought I was
being admirable not wanting to burden you with my love.”

“What about all those women? You dated hundreds.’

“No, didn’t. There were only a few and they were distractions. You were the only woman I wanted. I was going to woo you gently and slowly but then it all blew up in my face. Brent came to the house and I lost it.”

“After the first time we made love, you had my heart. Brent
wasn’t competition.”

“I was angry. I felt betrayed.”

Her fingers stroked his arm and gripped tight in apology. “I
would never betray you. I know I can be impossible and stubborn but my loyalty
to you never wavered.”

“Is that all you feel for me…loyalty?”

“I feel a lot of things for you, Ashton, but most of all, I
love you.”

Seeing his relief, Nicole almost cried again at the pain she’d put him through. Through the years, she’d known that there was a spark that ignited every time they were in each other’s presence. It’d confused her and made her nervous. With confidence she leant forward and rested her head on his shoulder. “Never doubt it." His arms tightened around her.

“No matter what Brent thinks I would’ve never pursued you
if he hadn’t married Melissa.”

“You would’ve let me go?”

“Yes.”

“And now?” she asked.

“I can’t. I said some things to you that I regret and I hope
you’ll forgive.”

“I do.”

“Brent is another matter. He came to the office a few days ago, my father was there, and we tried to work it about. But he left angry.”

“Given time Brent will be happy.”

“Melissa and Brent are getting a divorce.”

“I’m sad about it. I’d hope he would’ve changed his mind.”

He frowned. “You knew.”

“He mentioned it when he came to the house. That kiss didn’t
mean anything.”

“It did to him.”

“It was closure for both of us but more so for him.”

“I’m glad.” He covered her lips with his mouth. His hand
roamed over her body until he found the snap at the top of her shorts.

She laughed. “Are you thinking something that you shouldn’t
Mr. Sinclair?”

“When it comes to you I’m always thinking I want to make
love to my wife.”

“You’re insatiable.”

“Only with you, sweetheart.”

“Wow, in the library…my favorite room in the house. Hmm…that’s
a sexy thought, my love.”

“Say again. I like the sound of it.”

“My love…my love.”

There was love and tenderness in his beautiful eyes and
although it felt as if it were the first time she was seeing those emotions,
she knew they had been there the entire time. She just had been too stubborn to
recognize the signs. Well, she’d finally gotten it right.

“I’ll never stop loving you and our children,” he swore with
all the passionate intensity of his powerful temperament.

She gasped as his tongue found her sensitive spot.
“Children? How many do you think we are going to have?”

“As many you your body can give me. Say around six or so.”

She laughed long and hard. “No way buster.”

He lifted his head. “Compromise?”

She squinted but didn’t say anything.

“Four?” he said, hopefully.

He had stripped and now they were lying on the sofa with the
bright morning sun shining through the windows.

When he entered her, she thought that topic was for another
time and she succumbed to the mastery of his lovemaking.

Epilogue

FIVE YEARS LATER

Nicole tucked her six-week-old infant son, Aiden, into his
crib.

Blue-eyed and curly brown-haired, Aiden was a delightful mixture
of both parents. Ashton Campbell Sinclair IV, called Trey, her oldest son, who
was the spitting image of his father in looks and temperament was now three and
half and curious. He hung over the side of crib watching his little brother
sleep.

“Aiden’s sleeping again,” Trey complained, his little boy’s
restive body humming with suppressed energy.

“That’s what babies do.” Nicole smiled as she thought about the forthcoming christening for her second son. She had a lot to do but with her aunt and Ashton’s mother’s help it would get done. It was only a few weeks away. It made her happy that her best friend, Danielle Evans, had agreed to be the godmother and she was so coming back to Dallas for a three month vacation. Since she was the face for Dreamlake Cosmetics she could afford to take some time off. Besides she needed the break. Danielle hadn’t taken a vacation in years and it was about time she came home.

Nicole looked around the room and thought about her life.
She was happier than she could ever imagine. She had a successful news column
in the local newspaper that appeared once a month, creating and heading public
relations at Sinclair Industries had been challenging but rewarding. A staff of
fifteen now rounded out the budding department. With the birth of Aiden, she
decided to work from home part-time. It was the right decision for her and her
family. Ashton had told her it was her call but she knew it made him happy to
have her home with the boys. It wasn’t something she ever visualized in her
future but she loved it.