Love Left Behind (59 page)

I
called them my garbage cookies because I threw tons of stuff in it, like
pretzels, peanuts, toffee and anything else that sounded good and I had on
hand. Each batch was a little different.

"She
licked the spoon though," I joked. "Oh, and she cracked the
eggs." I didn't mention that Sarah had to crack double the amount of eggs
I needed because half of the time she crushed them in the process and got so
much shell in the bowl that it was easier just to crack another egg.

"I'll
have to try these garbage cookies sometime," Simon said, patting his
stomach. "I'm a sucker for anything sweet, especially cookies."

"Oh,
I haven't made them in a long time. I'll probably never make them again,"
I said emphatically. A little irrationally, I had to admit.

Simon
burst out laughing, not the reaction I was going for. "I'm sure I can
convince you to make them again," he said with a sly grin.

Sarah
poked me in the side. "You're being weird," she announced.

Thanks. Thanks a lot
,
Sarah
, I
thought.
Traitor.

"She's
weird a lot," Jenny chirped. Another traitor. "That's her charm.
You'll get used to it, Simon."

"I'm
looking forward to it," Simon replied, looking at me for the first time
with no humor or laughter. He just locked his eyes with mine and I felt that
squirming in my stomach again. Suddenly I saw a flash of his face crumpled with
agony. I looked away quickly, banishing the memory of my vision.

"You
guys are the weird ones," I murmured in protest, trying to clear my head.

"Well,
this weirdo is getting more spaghetti," Grant said, getting up and heading
over to the table. This broke up the talk about weirdness and everyone settled
back into an easy conversation.

The
next hour was spent filling Simon in on all the gossip about Maxwell
University, including who was dating whom, who was sleeping with whom, and
which professors were the worst. I participated in the conversation, forcing
myself to smile and talk easily. The more I forced myself, the more natural it
felt. I could do this. Simon was just another guy. Visions and suggestive
comments aside, he seemed like someone I could be friends with. He was funny
and definitely easy to look at. And just because it seemed like he was flirting
with me didn't mean anything. Simon seemed like the type to flirt with everyone
and it would be a mistake to take it to heart.

I
decided that Simon and I were going to be friends. It wasn't as if I could
ignore him. He was Grant's cousin, he was living downstairs at the moment and
was now a member of the band. The five of us had our lives intertwined,
spending most of our free time together. We had been a tight group since the
beginning of our junior year. Simon would just be the sixth member of our
group. A friend, nothing more.

With
that settled, I found myself laughing a little easier, taking Simon's jokes as
just that - jokes. If he looked at me a little too often and for a little too
long, I pretended not to notice.

Around
nine-thirty we headed down to the East End. It was only a five minute walk from
our apartment, but the October chill made the walk seem longer. I lagged behind
the group with Sarah.

"Is
everything okay?" she asked, with a concerned look on her face. "All
joking aside, you
are
acting a little
weird."

"I'm
fine, Sarah, really," I assured her. "It's just been a long
week."

"Okay,"
Sarah said, not looking convinced. "It's not...it doesn't have anything to
do with...you know. Does it?"

I
forced a laugh. "No, it's nothing like that. Seriously, I'm just a little
tired. I'll only stay at the East End for a little bit and then go home and go
to bed. I'll be fine tomorrow."

"Okay..."
Sarah said, not seeming to completely accept my excuse. "But if you're not
telling me something, I'm gonna be mad."

I
ignored her warning and grabbed her arm. "Hey, we're here. Come on."
I dragged her to catch up with the group and greeted Charlie, the bouncer at
the bar. He was at his usual stance just outside the door.

"Hi
Charlie," I said smiling. "Glad to see you're dressed for the
weather, as usual." No matter the season, Charlie always wore a white
short-sleeved t-shirt. I'd seen him standing there all night in the snow with
nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, seemingly impervious to the cold. He was tall
and heavily muscled. Maybe all his muscles kept him warm.

"This
is nothing, honey," Charlie replied with an easy grin. "I would take
my shirt off if Joel would let me get away with it."

The
guys fist bumped Charlie, or whatever it is that guys greet each other with,
while Jenny, Sarah and I gave him a hug. The East End was like a second home
since we spent so much time there, especially Grant and Marcus who spent a lot
of time practicing there during the daytime. Charlie already seemed to know
Simon and I reminded myself that even though we had just met him tonight, he
had arrived a couple of days ago and they had already spent some time
practicing at the East End.

We
filed in, relieved to be in the warmth of the bar. There were already a good
amount of people inside, although it was still early. We headed over to an
empty table and settled in, taking off our coats and draping them on the back
of our chairs. The East End had a coat check, but it was never really in use
unless the guys were playing, since it got packed to the walls then.

The
East End was a large bar, with a decent-sized stage in the back. Booths lined
the walls and tables were spread out, although they were pushed back when the
stage was in use to make a standing area in front. There was a separate game
room, with pool tables, dart boards and video games. Music was being piped in,
but not to a level where you couldn't have a conversation. It was a great venue
for a band and had enough room to house the Henchmen fans that went crazy
during their shows.

I
wondered how receptive they would be to a new member. There had been lots of
complaints about the lack of shows since the departure of Mike and Abe. I
glanced over at Simon, who was laughing about something with Jenny. Who was I
kidding? There was no way the fans wouldn't eat up Simon, especially the girls,
no matter what he sounded like. And I knew Grant was serious enough about the
band that he wouldn't let Simon join just because they were related. Simon had
to be good.

Just
then, Simon turned to look at me. Embarrassed that I had been caught staring at
him, I quickly turned away and spoke to Sarah, who was sitting beside me.

"Seriously,
only a couple of drinks and I'm leaving," I warned in a low voice.
"I'm telling you now because I don't want you twisting my arm later,
trying to make me stay."

Even
though I enjoyed hanging out with my friends, I was acutely aware that I needed
alone time as well. Sarah enjoyed being constantly surrounded by people, which
was good for me because it forced me to interact more than I would have on my
own, and I found that I actually enjoyed it. But I also needed time to just
decompress on my own. When I was alone, I didn't have to worry that I might say
something that would reveal how much of a weirdo I really was.

"Okay,
I promise I won't," Sarah said, laughing. "Anyway, how could little
ol' me twist your arm?"

"Ha,"
I said with a disbelieving snort. "You have your ways."

Sarah
was interrupted from having to defend her innocence by Janice. Janice had been
working at the East End for ages. I guessed that she looked older than she
actually was, having lived hard and fast. Her raspy voice was evidence of her
heavy smoking habit, and her heavy makeup aged her even more. But she was a
sweetheart and was a fixture at the East End, just like Charlie.

"Hi
y'all," she drawled. "What'll you be having?"

"Let's
get a couple pitchers of beer," Grant said, looking around the table.
"How about Brooklyn Lager?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Gotcha,"
Janice replied. She looked over at Jenny. "How about you, little
thing?"

Jenny
pouted. She was the only one out of our group that wasn't twenty-one yet.
Fortunately, her birthday was only a couple of weeks away, but in the meantime
there was no way Janice was serving her alcohol. The East End had a policy of
admitting kids eighteen and older but you still had to be twenty-one to drink.
They made the underage kids wear a neon green bracelet to differentiate them,
but Jenny usually escaped having to wear one since she was a regular. That
being said, since she was a regular, all the workers knew she was under
twenty-one and there was no way she was being served. That didn't stop her from
trying every time.

"Oh,
fine," Jenny relented. "I'll have a diet coke. But my birthday is coming
up soon. And then I'm going to blow it out!"

Janice
chuckled. "Sure thing, little thing. But until then, diet coke it
is."

As
Janice walked away, Sarah leaned forward. "How much have you guys
practiced together already?" she asked.

"We
jammed yesterday and the day before," Marcus answered. "But like
Grant said earlier, I visited him a few times this past summer and we practiced
a lot then. It was easy since Simon lives so close to Grant."

Grant
had mentioned earlier that he and Simon lived in neighboring towns in
Connecticut and Marcus was pretty close by in New Jersey. In fact, all of us
were East Coasters, although Jenny was much further down south in Florida.
Sarah lived in Westchester, right outside of New York City. I had spent a lot
of time at her house, since I avoided my home as much as possible. My father
didn't make it easy to be under his roof and it was just easier to stay at
Sarah's house. Her life was so normal. Her parents were normal. Her younger
sister was normal. I appreciated normal as much as I could get.

"I'm
so excited to hear you guys play," squealed Jenny with enthusiasm. Marcus
smiled as he looked at Jenny. Her enthusiasm was as much a part of her as was
his quiet demeanor. It really was a shame that Marcus couldn't get the guts to
ask her out.

"Yeah,"
Sarah chimed in. "And I bet Joel can't wait to start raking in the dough
again." She looked over at Grant. "All the girls have been missing
your drumming solos." She smiled coyly. The flirtatious lilt in her voice
unmistakable and Grant grinned, winking at her.

"What
about you?" Simon asked with a half-grin, leaning slightly forward to look
at me since Marcus was sitting between us. "Are you excited about hearing
the reinvention of the Henchmen?"

I
shrugged. "Sure, why not. I'm sure you guys will be good," I said
noncommittally.

"Good?"
Grant exclaimed. "We're great! Even better than before. Abe was a great
singer, but Simon kills it. Plus he blows Mike out of the water on guitar. Even
Joel was impressed when we were practicing yesterday. And he's never
impressed."

Simon
smiled. "We don't want to build up their expectations too much and set
them up for disappointment. Let's not make me the second coming of Jim
Morrison. We make a good team, but we'll see how the fans react."

Simon's
modesty was a strange mix with his arrogance. When I had just decided that he
was full of himself, he would make a self-deprecating comment that would endear
me to him.

Friends,
I
thought to myself emphatically.
Just
friends.

Janice
interrupted the conversation by setting two pitchers of beer on the table
alongside five glasses. "I'll be right back with your soda, honey,"
she said to Jenny and walked back to the bar.

Grant
and Simon started pouring beers, joking about who poured the best glass with
the least amount of foam.

"Here,"
Simon said, passing a beer to me, reaching over Marcus. "I promised to buy
you a drink."

"Well,
technically you haven't paid for the drink yet, but we'll call it even," I
said with a smile.
Friends.

Simon
laughed. "Well, to make sure it counts I'll pay for all the pitchers
tonight."

"
You
don't need to do that to impress Caitlin," Jenny said with a impish grin.
"Nothing impresses her."

Sarah
snorted and I shot her a dirty look. I turned back to Jenny. "Lots of
things impress me. Your silence would impress me."

Simon
grinned. "I'll have to think of some ways to impress you then."

I
cleared my throat self-consciously. I needed to steer this back into the friend
zone. "So, how's the apartment search going?" I asked, trying to
change the topic.

"Not
so great," Simon answered. "Since it's already a couple of months
into the school year, there doesn't seem to be a lot of availability. I've
looked at a few places but unless I want cockroaches as roommates, I'll have to
keep looking."

"I
keep telling him that he can stay as long as he wants at our place," Grant
said.

"Yeah,
it's nice having someone around who actually does the dishes," Marcus
joked.