Love Letters from Largs: Brodie and Celestina (Highlander Clan Grant Series Book 3) (10 page)

“Aye.” Her eyes misted. “You were right. I was trying to jump off the tower that day, but you changed everything for me.” She ran her hands through the small tufts of dark hair on his chest. “’Tis you that made me want to live again, Brodie. I trust you will come for me.”

Moving her carefully to the side, h
e climbed out of bed, grabbed the cloth from the basket and dipped the edge into the pitcher filled with water from the loch before returning. He sat on the side of the bed and said, “Here, let me clean you,
leannan.
”

Though she was un
sure of what he was about, she trusted him completely, so she sat up and rested her arm on his. He loosened the sheets around her and pointed to her thigh. “Allow me to clean the blood from your maidenhead.”

Celestina stared at her leg, confused,
then peered up at her husband.

“Tis what happens when a man breaks through the woman’s virginity.” He pointed to himself.
“’Tis on me, as well. I will clean you first. Lie back for me.”

She fell back and settled her head on the soft pillow but
kept hold of his arm, as if afraid he would disappear. Blushing at where he cleaned her, she averted her eyes. After he finished, he cleaned himself and set the water and cloth aside.

She
stared at the ceiling, her hand still clutching his strong forearm. “He will expect the blood, will he not?”

“Aye
”

“He will not be happy if he discovers my maidenhead is gone, will he?”

He rubbed her arm as he held her close. “Nay, but ‘twas yours to give, as you said, and you chose to gift me with it. Do you regret that choice?”

“Nay!”
Her gaze met his. “Never, Brodie. I am so glad we handfasted. I have no regrets.”

“Lass, I want to explain a few things to you, and I do this only because my brother believes we could be in dire straits before long. I want you to be able to protect yourself against
Ivarsson if it comes to that.”

“Brodie, there is nothing I could do to hurt
him. He is much bigger than me.”

“Aye, there is and any normal sire would teach their daughter this.” He grinned and winked at her. “And since I
am disrobed, I can truly show you what I mean.”

Her confusion must have shown on her face because he kissed her cheek
.

“Do you know what a man’s
bollocks are?”

Celestina shook her head and blushed.

“Aye, now you do.” He pointed to his own as he continued his explanation. “These are my bollocks or sacs or balls or any number of other crude terms, but ‘tis how I refer to them. Any time a man mistreats you, if you hit him in his bollocks, he will be paralyzed momentarily until you can get away.”

“Truly?
But does it not hurt?”

His eyes grew as he held his hands up in defense.
“Aye, ‘tis the worst pain a man can ever experience. Do no’ ever do it unless you need to bring a man to his knees. But if Ivarsson hurts you, it will help you get away. You can punch his bollocks with your fist or kick them, either will stop him.”

“I do not think I could ever do such a thing.”

“Certes, no’ to me, anyway!”

“Och, never.
I would never hurt you, Brodie.” She kissed his belly down to his navel, and then giggled when she saw him grow in front of her eyes.

Brodie tossed her onto h
er back and said, “Saints above, I may never get enough of you, wife.”

***

A few hours later, a subtle knock interrupted them. Neither could sleep so they had spent their time together learning more about each other.

Brodie climbed out of bed and helped her with her br
eeks. He could tell she was fighting tears. “Lass, ‘twas the most beautiful night of my life.” He tied the ribbons of her leine and kissed her cheek.

“Mine, too, Brodie.
I will never forget one moment of it.” Her smile was brave, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He felt the same. “Remember, I will try to come for you within a sennight, but
it could be a little longer. So much depends on whether or not war breaks out. Do you understand,
leannan
?”

She nodded as she slipped
on her boots.

His fingers caressed her cheek.
“Remember I love you, and we will be together. I hate to ask this of you, but please do whatever it takes to stay safe. Do naught to put yourself at risk, even if it means you must be submissive.”

Her head fell against his chest
as she sobbed quietly. “I will, I promise.”

“Come, we must
return you before the sun rises for your well-being. I will be fraught with worry until you are mine and in my arms forever.” He opened the door and led her back to the horses.

“I love you, Brodie Grant.
Forever.”

Chapter Ten

A Day to Forget

Inga shook her awake. Celestina glanced at her maid and buried her head under the covers. No, it could not be happening. After the beautiful night she had shared with Brodie, she would have to marry Fredrik Ivarsson.

Inga sat
beside her and wrapped her arms around her as she sat up. “I am so sorry, Celestina. He believes ‘tis best, no?”

Fighting off tears, Celestina said,
“He told me I must marry Ivarsson officially to make everyone happy. Then he promises to take me away.”

Inga sat back and took her hands in hers. “
Then you have something to look forward to, aye? Do you love him?”

“
With all my heart. Last night was wonderful.” She peered at her hands on Inga’s lap. “I had no idea what true happiness was until I met Brodie.” Raising her gaze to meet her maid’s, she shook her head in disbelief. “It would be much simpler if we could live our lives away from everyone, the way we want.”

“Och, look at all he has brought you in such a short time. One moon ago, you had naught but
Fredrik Ivarsson to look forward to. Has that no’ changed?”

Celestina smiled. “You are correct, Inga. Brodie has changed my life for the better. I just need to get through this day. He has promised to come for me within a sennight
, if possible, though it may be slightly longer. I will hold my head high and marry my betrothed even though my heart belongs to another.”

“The
king demands this of you. Nicol told me of Brodie’s plan and I think ‘tis best for both of you. Let the money and the land pass hands, and then the two of you can disappear. Come, your bath is ready for you. You will be a beautiful bride.” Inga stood and pulled Celestina out of bed. Helping her undress, Inga brushed her long golden tresses before settling her in the tub with a few drops of oil.

“I do not care if I smell nice, Inga.” She giggled. “Perhaps if I ha
ve a terrible odor, Fredrik will want to stay away from me.” She moaned as the warm water washed across her skin. Leaning her head back against the soft pillow Inga had set out for her, she closed her eyes and relived the best moments of their night together. “I can only hope that Brodie has planted a babe in my womb already.”

***

She stood in the back of the chapel wringing her hands as her father paced the small vestibule. As soon as the priest and Lord Ivarsson arrived, they would marry on the front steps. Glancing inside, the workmanship of the paired windows in the chancel gave an aura to the building. Beautiful, but not as lovely as the natural chapel she and Brodie had stood in last night to give their vows to each other. Each time she recalled her husband’s handsome face, her eyes misted at her loss. She hoped it would not be long until the Grants retrieved her.

Her father’s glee interrupted her thoughts.
“Finally, this day is here. I have waited so long to be rid of you. And I will finally have the riches I deserve for all the years I took care of you.” Her father’s tirades had grown even more tiresome to her. She filled her mind with thoughts of Brodie Grant to keep from absorbing his acid words.

Celestina stared at her feet as she had been taught
, but something inside her had changed. She recalled the wonderful things Brodie had said to her. She did have value, just as her mother had told her all those years ago. Brodie Grant loved her. She hated her father as much as he hated her and hoped never to see him again, yet suddenly she felt the urge to put voice to the question that had been plaguing her for years.

She lifted her head and stared into her father’s cold eyes. “Why? Why do you hate me so, Father?” she whispered.

“Why? Because you are a daughter. You were supposed to be a boy. All I asked of your mother was to give me one son. Miserable woman couldn’t even give me that. Instead she gave me a crying, blathering female. What was I supposed to do with you? You have been a daily reminder of the son I never had. I wanted a son to inherit my title, not a weak-hearted beasom.”

“But that
is not my fault. Why would you punish me for it?” She knew she should stop, but she couldn’t. His reasoning didn’t make sense.

“
Silence! I punished you to make you agreeable, and still, after all I have done for you, filth flows from your tongue. Silence, you pitiful cow. Why, the way you look in that dress, it will be a wonder if this man doesn’t refuse you.” He spun around and faced the window.

Celestina thought of the handfasting she had shared with Brodie. She had wonderful memories to sustain her on this horrid day. What she had loved most about the handfasting was not Brodie’s words
so much as his gaze. It had confirmed that he meant every word.

As she
stood outside on the steps of the chapel ready to exchange vows with Lord Ivarsson, she tried to calm the turmoil in her stomach, but to no avail. Her belly twisted as she realized she was about to lie and marry someone when she was already pledged. She could not think about that now; it was too late. Her God would forgive her; he understood all she had been through.

She glanced at her betrothed, wondering what his reaction would be once he found out the truth
. He was quite handsome in his wedding finery, but it meant nothing to her. How could it compare to a simple ceremony under the trees, swathed in a tartan plaid?

Father Padraig stood
in front of them with a smile on his face, the only pleasant sight in the entire area. He talked endlessly about marriage, even departing into Gaelic at one point. She caught the consternation on her betrothed’s face when Father Padraig slipped into the language of the Scots and not in Latin. The priest made haste with the flowery verse, and then finally asked her if she agreed to wed Ivarsson. She froze. She hadn’t realized she would have the chance to say nay. Wasn’t this the simplest way out? Why didn’t she just deny him in front of everyone? How could she agree when she had already promised herself to another,
given
herself to another?

D
eafening silence filled the air around her. As her mouth opened to respond to the Celtic priest, a pinch in her side demanded her attention. Her betrothed’s voice whispered in her ear, “Deny me, and your lover will be a dead man.”

Bile rose in her throat, threatening to spill over into the
flowers she held. Her gaze flew first to Father Padraig and then to her betrothed, whose sick smile wrenched her to her core. A fleeting picture of Brodie Grant dead at her feet forced her to speak.

“Aye,” she choked out.

The small crowd cheered as the priest declared them married in both Gaelic and Latin, and her new husband placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Her heart sank to her feet. She turned in the direction that Ivarsson guided her, his grip tight on her arm. Sweat broke out across her brow as harsh reality hit her.

She was now the wife of
Fredrik Ivarsson.

***

The couple had remained at the royal keep at the insistence of the king. Almost an hour later, after Celestina submissively stood at Ivarsson’s side to allow all the noble people to congratulate them, her husband pulled her into the royal keep. The king greeted them both with a smile and Ivarsson with a sound pat on the back. He ushered them into his solar where Celestina’s father stood waiting, an unusual grin on his face.

“Why, look at the happy couple. Smile, Celestina! What girl doesn’t smile on
her wedding day?” he sneered.

Celestina did her best to calm the nausea
threatening to overtake her at every turn. She would not be sick to her stomach. She must remain strong. Her father would still abuse her if she embarrassed him. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she marveled at the sheer joy in his eyes, something he only developed when it came to money. She closed her eyes to will her nausea away, only to be yanked over to the king’s desk by Fredrik Ivarsson.

Fredrik signed the paper quickly, and then handed the parchment to her father to sign
. He signed without even reading the document. Everything in the room made her ill, but Ivarsson most of all. As soon as the contracts were signed, the door opened and Inga rushed in with two other maids. Ivarsson nodded his head to the women before turning to speak to her. “Go ready yourself, my dear. We have a few more things to discuss here.”

Panic suffused her entire body. Unable to
quell the terror raging through her blood, she had to ask. “Now? But ‘tis still daylight, my lord.”

He held her hand in
his and crushed the bones together, his abuse hidden from anyone else’s view. He peered down his nose at her, “You will never question me again, my dear. Do you understand?”

Attempting to free her hand caused her to wriggle, so he squeezed
even harder. “Do not move and do not embarrass me in front of the king,” he whispered. She stilled from the pain, and he ceased his torture. “Now, go with the maids as I have instructed. Make yourself ready for your husband.”

He nodded to the maids and they escorted her out the door. Celestina stared at Inga, hoping to find a way out of her predicament, but
she feared she could not. She reminded herself of Brodie’s instructions. He had been clear that she should be submissive so as not to be hurt. She had to be strong for him.

She followed the maids as they ascended the large staircase
in the royal keep. Soon she found herself in a large chamber with a beautifully canopied bed, as regal as anything she had seen. Wine and cheese sat on a nearby chest. The décor was fit for a queen, yet she did not want any part of it. Confusion clouded her mind, unsure of why she was still in the royal castle.

After much fluffing and perfuming,
she found herself nestled among a pile of pillows on top of the large bed. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, but Inga grabbed her hand and said, “Promise me. You must believe.”

She
nodded at Inga, fear dripping from every pore of her skin at the thought of bedding Fredrik. Inga kissed her cheek and left her with two maids of the royal palace.

She prayed the prayer her mother had taught her years ago about strength and love
, but she still wasn’t sure she could survive this. She had given herself to the love of her life, had pledged herself to her true husband. The previous night had been so sweet, so tender, yet now she would be forced to submit to someone she had absolutely no respect. Closing her eyes, she forced an image of Brodie’s smiling face and drew in several deep breaths.

Suddenly t
he door banged and her eyes flew open. Her husband strode in with a man she did not recognize. Her senses were on high alarm, unsure what a stranger was doing in the chamber of the royal castle when she was unpresentable. Her gaze flew to Lord Ivarsson’s, hoping to find an explanation there, but his expression was blank.

He turned to the small, wiry man
beside him and said, “Do as I ask, Doctor.”

Celestina’s gaze flew to the doctor’s. What was happening? His eyes were kind, but he was
clearly as uncomfortable with the situation as she was.

He pulled the covers back and patted her leg
s through her gown. “Spread your legs, my dear. This will not take long.”

She turned to
Fredrik. “My lord? I do not understand. He cannot be asking me what I think he is. You are allowing such?”

“Do as you are told, Celestina.” He turned away from her and stared out the window.

The doctor nudged her knees apart as he tugged on the bottom of her gown, pulling it up over her knees. “Five seconds and this will be over, my lady. I promise not to hurt you.”

Celestina
rested her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes. The indignity of Ivarsson’s request appalled her. She had never imagined such a practice being done. Her legs were pulled apart and she felt the doctor’s fingers probe her private area.

“There, my lady. I am finished.” He gave her a quick smile as he replaced her gown and the covers. She opened her eyes as he departed,
Fredrik directly behind him.

Brodie had
told her there could be problems with her maidenhead. She had planned to wound herself enough to bleed a bit. Why oh why had he brought a doctor in? How she wished Inga would come in, but she knew it was impossible. The only sounds she heard were the hushed voices of Ivarsson and the doctor just outside the door.

Suddenly, t
he door opened and Fredrik stepped inside, closing it behind him with a distinct click. He waited. Celestina’s stomach churned. She listened to the patter of raindrops on the roof, the click of horses’ hooves on the cobblestone outside. Dampness settled under her arms, and the slight odor of linen hit her nostrils as she buried herself a bit lower in the pillows.

She waited. This was a power st
ruggle. She recognized it as one of her father’s favorite moves, so she simply waited as she had been trained to do.

Two barks broke through the air. A hound brayed at the wind right before
Ivarsson bellowed out his command. Finally he spoke. “Remove your clothes, Celestina. Now.”