Love Lust (2 page)

We crossed the street. I hated her silence, but couldn’t think up much to say. I hated being inside Jimi’s territory, though why he’d be looking for us after three years, neither of us could say. He just was.

As far as Jimi was concerned, we were his. Made by his incubus magic and so, forever and irrevocably, his. Like sex pets.

“I’ll text you when Seth’s set is over?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“What’ll you do in the meantime?”

“Be a good girl.” Paula smiled. “Text me.”

I nodded and she walked away in the opposite direction I was heading. Tourists milled around the main drag. I walked two blocks down, deciding, since I had a little time to kill, to meander and think.

The sexual scent tickled in my nose again. I couldn’t help it. My hopes rose the tiniest bit despite the heavy ache in my chest where my precious Seth used to live. Seth. His almost gray eyes had nearly turned blue from the pain of our breakup.

I tried veering downwind, to avoid the scent. A cold breeze hit my face and the perfume hit me full force. I’d been sure my last encounter with Seth would protect me for weeks, yet the craving awakened. My body recognized what it wanted.

I closed my eyes against the urge to hunt the scent. After a steadying breath, I opened them again, ignoring a passerby’s stare. The scent was gone.

Relieved, I headed left on Ogden Avenue, toward Java Jungle. The cold breeze sent goosebumps over my bare thighs. I liked the wet chill. Seeing Seth after our breakup wouldn’t be easy. My body knew him and he had become my comfort food. Going with the craving awakened risked a lot. I might want Seth one more time. Or worse, I wouldn’t.

Two blocks later, I entered Java Jungle and located a corner booth to snag once my iced mocha latte with extra whipped cream arrived. A crew was setting up for the show. The café was swathed in animal print and velvet. The aroma of coffee and clove completed the beatnik atmosphere. I smiled. Seth would be brilliant. And I would be strong.

Paula texted a smart-ass comment about hand jobs. I ignored it. A tinge of musky male sex hung in the air. I breathed through my mouth. After four years of putting up with my appetite, I owed Seth one night of undivided attention, or the illusion of it, at least.

“You came,” Seth said from close behind me.

I turned, surprised. “Hey, there. Of course I came. I said I would.”

The contrast between his rugged good looks and his poet’s heart was still my favorite thing about Seth. And his hands. He had the best hands. Big, sturdy, but so gentle. Just the sight of his magic fingers quickened my pulse.

“Yeah. Well.” He shoved his hands into frayed jeans pockets. “I figured you were lying.”

I blamed the quiver in my throat on the caffeine and forced myself back to people-watching. “Gee, thanks.”

His grin nearly blew my skirt up. “Can I get you anything?”

“Nah. I’m good. Paula might come by.”

Seth’s eyes shuttered. It was petty to bring up the friend I would never ditch for him, but who wouldn’t keep her flirtations to herself. I don’t know why I did except to hurt him and stop his beautiful eyes from eating me up. I couldn’t let the idea of going back, even once more, take root.

“Won’t that be fun,” Seth finally said.

I couldn’t keep my gaze from swaying to his hidden hands. I loved his hands. The shape, the texture, their subtle amber glow. My nipples stood at attention, remembering their touch. “When is your set?”

“Fifth in, I think.” He gestured to the empty seat across from me. “You mind?”

Damn it. Why had I thought I could do this? “Not at all.”

He sat down and the aroma of his cologne and bare maleness surrounded my senses. How would I ever find any other man like Seth? “How long is your set?”

“I don’t know. As long as I need, I guess. I brought four poems. I’m not sure how many I’ll read, though.” He smoothed his fingers over his goatee. “I have this nightmare about standing up there sweating buckets, nothing but crickets, you know?”

“Just picture everyone naked, having sex. Doggie style. Helps me.”

He laughed out loud, and the deep, lovely clap of joy really stung. But the pain edged out the awakening. I would not turn him into some helpless, soulless slave lapping for attention. No matter how his mouth tempted me as he licked his lips, cocking his head at me. “Not just naked? Doggie style, too, huh?”

“With barking. Always works for me.”

“Because you have so much open mic night experience.”

I grinned ear to ear. “Tons! Didn’t I ever tell you about my days on stage?”

“You left that part out.”

Did he have to smolder me with his gaze? If only I could see his inner glow and read him better. Paula could see the shimmer of lust on a human. I rarely did. “Well, maybe I was protecting you.”

“Oh, how kind of you.”

Damn his full mouth. Damn his soft, excellent kissing. “See? Knowing about my huge success would only have intimidated you. Who needs that?”

“But I know now.”

“Too late. You’re here now. Can’t back out. You’ve committed to your course.”

“There’s always a chance to turn back.” His eyes glittered with meaning. “To change my mind.”

“No.” I lowered my gaze to the latte in my hand. I released my tight grip, wiping my wet hand. “Don’t do that. Trust me. If you did, you’d regret it for the rest of your life.”

He took my hand in his. I nearly knocked my latte over from the shock of his touch. My entire being awoke. The familiar cacophony of anticipation sang in my veins. The image of our naked bodies entwined flashed into my mind. His gleaming skin against mine. I took my hand back. “So, which poem will you start things off with?”

His eyes searched mine for a moment, their pain sharp. “This one.”

He pulled it out and tossed it to me. I recognized the title. It was his ode to me. “Nothing like a little public flogging, eh?”

“I thought you liked it rough.”

I flashed my eyebrows at him and bit down my retort. The urge to crawl over the table and bury my face in his lap gripped me. But it wasn’t unbearable. Resisting his temptation seemed to sap my energy levels, though. I might not have as much time as I initially thought to find new love.

Fate, it seemed, got cheap thrills over taunting me. No sooner had I tamped down craving my beautiful Seth when the scent I’d lost returned. And my most primal parts tuned in to the smell. Pheromones, hormones, chemistry. It defied the logic I’d once believed life had. My gaze darted over the room, from tables to the cashier back to Seth.

He’d once held my senses captive like this. He’d once carried this scent. No more, though. The sad but telling sign revealed within an instant, my lust had coldly moved on. His love couldn’t sustain my life any more.

Seth looked past his shoulder. Had he noticed the change in me? “Expecting someone?” he asked.

“Just Paula,” I lied. “Thought I saw her.”

He scanned my face. “Maybe she forgot to come.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” I forced my attention back to the table, but my senses picked up on everything else. The grind of the machines brewing coffee heaven. The funky folk music wafting from the speakers. Chatter.

Whoever my potential lover was, he was close. Either way, I put a smile on my face and did my best to appear unruffled. Somewhere, fate chuckled heartily over this one. Had to be. I would not hurt Seth with so much as witnessing a casual flirtation. Yet, there my lust was, begging for me to hunt.

Maybe I’d call Paula after all. With her here, resisting my craving’s awakening might be easier. Or harder.

I ditched the idea altogether and took to sipping my latte, pretending Seth wasn’t searching my face for answers. “So.”

“I miss you,” he said. And before I could fumble a response, he rose from the table. “I’m going to grab a smoke. I think they’re starting soon.”

I nodded, watching him leave in that easy gait that was so Seth. The second he was out the door, I took a full, long look around me. The scent was still strong and, really, in such a space, any of the thirty some-odd patrons could be the source. I’d have to mingle to locate the one my body, my succubus curse, wanted.

I couldn’t do it. Not yet. Not at all. I had hurt Seth enough, breaking it off with flimsy excuses that showed what a terrible liar I still was when it came to what mattered. At least it proved I was still human, if only partly.

The announcer welcomed the first act. I kept my eyes on the door, focusing on Seth returning. Guitar notes strummed the air. I looked to the stage. Wavy, shoulder-length hair framed strong, angular features and nice, broad shoulders. His hand shook. He stopped strumming, cleared his throat and began again. When I heard his deep, velvety voice, something within me shifted and I knew, down to my essence, this was him. This was the lover I had scented out. This was the living, breathing body mine awoke to. I had to have him. My body screamed to have him.

Seth sat down. I tore my eyes from my stare, gulping in air. “You startled me,” I said without thinking.

He looked pale.

“Hey, you okay?” The husky voice singing U2 tugged at my libido. I forced my gaze to remain on Seth.

He nodded slightly.

“Nerves?” The lyrics whispered to deep parts of me. I knew every word of the song.
All I Want Is You
. In my head, I sang along.

Seth nodded harder. My chest panged. I came around and took his chilled hands in mine.

“Hey, Seth. You can do this. You are the most talented person I’ve ever known. You have to do this. It will change your entire course. I know it.”

A little color returned to his cheeks. It gave me enough comfort to steal a glance at the singer. He looked lost somewhere inside the song rather than sitting in the smoky room, strumming a western guitar. His sandy blonde waves fell over his face, barely revealing half-closed eyes.

“Just breathe,” I told Seth. “It will be okay.” I hugged my arms around him, squeezing tight. He smelled good. Like rain and incense. Wonderfully, yet sadly, normal. “I know it.”

The song ended and the room erupted in applause. “How am I supposed to compete with that,” Seth said.

“Trust me. There’s no competition at all.” Despite my reaction and my guilt, in a way the words were true. Seth was a poet, not a singer. He could enthrall a crowd, too. “Just you and your words resonating in every heart in the room, inspiring hope and joy and pain and wonder. Okay?”

Seth kissed my cheek, love on his lips. I patted him on the shoulder, swallowing the knot in my throat. The stranger looked up from his guitar, his hand resting on the wooden body like on a lover. My breath caught. His eyes met mine. In the dim light, at several feet of distance, they looked like the color of the ocean at dusk. My heart skipped and I became possessive and decided.

He would be mine.

Chapter Two

The hip-hop beat and raunchy lyrics called to me. Following him from the café to the dance club was easy. Far easier than pretending he wasn’t in the room all night for Seth’s sake. And though he attracted more than his share of female attention, like most guys, he was a sucker for a schoolgirl skirt. Or maybe for the boots.

I shouldn’t have come. It was dark out. Though I’d texted Paula an all clear, she’d be mad. We’d promised not to risk being seen in Jimi’s territory.

Yet here I was, flexing my skills, on the hunt.

It took little time and only a few sultry looks to get Justin to pull me onto the dance floor. The strobe light scattered dots of light over his skin. Justin. Good name. I liked the way it felt in my mouth and could imagine screaming it out, covered in sweat and satisfaction.

The navy shirt hugged his broad shoulders. He knew how to move and took command of my hips. Thank God for tall and lean and beautiful men like this. I wanted Justin. Bad.

No matter how many might deny it, though, men require a steep challenge in order to fall in love. Sex and challenge and more sex. They hate a tease because a tease will win their heart almost every time. If she plays her game right.

I wasn’t a natural by any means, but I’d learned a few tricks over the course of seven men since acquiring my curse. Being so hungry for more would make it difficult to play hard to get. I wanted Justin’s hands in my hair, his waist in my eye line, his cock in my mouth. All, right there on the dance floor, for everyone to see. He smelled so good. But this wasn’t that kind of club and if it had been, I’d have a lust overdose.

I had to settle for his nicely-sized erection pressed against my ass as I undulated my hips in rhythm to the pulsing bass. Thank God he was hot. Maybe that’s why fate had dangled him in the first place, forcing me to work for my little gift.

Feral scent did not necessarily equate to attractive. And, shallow as it might be, I required at least liking what I fed on.

“God, you’re sexy,” Justin said near my ear, sending delight shivering through my chest. “You trying to make me cum, right here?”

I loved the idea. And hated it. “Where can we go?” I asked, obeying the music’s demand, swaying against him. I knew where I wanted to go. To the nearest semi-private space with room enough for me to straddle his hips and rock onto his big cock. But I had to be good. My lust might be in control, but my heart was on the line as well.