Love Me Tender (30 page)

Cassidy nodded as if that made perfect sense.

“I thought she should tell him. Evan was a good kid. He cared about her and he'd have done the right thing. But she reminded me that he'd always hated Caribou Crossing and he had a bad home situation. His dad ran out, and Brooke was—well, it was before her bipolar disorder was diagnosed, and she was an alcoholic. She'd be the first to tell you she was a crappy mom. Evan was desperate to escape.”

Cassidy let out a low whistle. “And I thought I had parent issues.”

“For ten years,” Dave went on, “Evan had worked hard to build a path out of ‘Hicksville,' as he called it, to the Big Apple. He was the smartest kid in school, worked his butt off, got a scholarship. Jessie was sure that if he came back, married her, and stayed here he'd be miserable. Perhaps she was right. Who knows? We were kids. Anyhow, I guess I kind of knew at the time that she really loved him, but I figured it would fade with distance and time.”

“You loved her, though? You proposed to her.”

“I liked her a lot.” He ran his free hand across his forehead, shoving back the hair that tumbled across it. “To be honest, I proposed because I couldn't stand seeing her look so whipped. I wanted her to be spunky again. I'd never had a serious girlfriend and I figured the two of us might really work out. She married me because, I think, she liked me a lot too and she figured it would be the best thing for her baby. And so did I.”

“Taking on another guy's child . . .”

Remembering, smiling, he shook his head. “From the moment I first felt Robin move, she was mine. Jessie and I never had sex until months after she gave birth. Our feelings for each other grew into love over months, maybe years. But when Rob's little foot kicked against my palm through the wall of Jessie's belly, I was a goner.”

Cassidy smiled softly; then her smile died and her eyes darkened with compassion. “You were her dad. You and Jess split up, but you were still Robin's dad. And then Evan came back.”

He nodded. “Two years ago. He was kind of forced into it by an investment client, and he fully intended to return to New York. Long story; I'll tell you some other time. As it happened—thank God—he was here when Robin was hit by a car.”

She frowned. “Why was it good that Evan was here?”

“Rob inherited a rare blood type from him. She needed a transfusion and the hospital didn't have enough blood banked. We were in the middle of a storm, and the chance of getting blood flown here in time was slim. We had no choice but to tell Evan. I hated doing it.”

Her eyes had widened as he spoke. Now she said a heartfelt, “I bet.”

“But then he and Jessie fell in love again, or realized they'd been in love all along, so probably we'd have had to tell him anyhow.”

“That must have been so hard for you.”

“In a lot of ways,” he admitted. “But it's good to see Jessie so happy. Evan's been great. He's fine with having everyone including Robin believe that I'm her dad and he's her stepdad.”

“In the ways that matter most, it's true. He contributed sperm, unintentionally. Then you took over and did everything else.”

He reached over to touch her cheek, appreciating her loyalty. “Thanks, Cassidy.”

Oh yes, he loved this woman. Now what the hell was he going to do about it?

Halloween was definitely cool in Caribou Crossing, Cassidy thought as she strolled in her best imitation of a cat's lazy grace through the lobby of the Wild Rose. Costumed as a black tuxedo cat with one white stocking, she wore close-fitting black yoga pants and a black turtleneck sweater, a white bib, one thick white kneesock, cheap white sneakers with one dyed black, plus cat ears and theatrical make-up.

As a child, she'd loved dressing up for Halloween—a ladybug, a princess, Maria from
The Sound of Music
—and going trick-or-treating. Gramps had taken her and JJ.

When she'd been informed that many adults as well as children dressed up for Halloween in Caribou Crossing, she'd talked to Dave and the staff and they'd decided to make it a costume day at the Wild Rose. It added a great spirit of fun, especially when one of the waiters, who was involved in local theatre, helped them with costumes and make-up.

Now she watched with a grin as the vampire at the front desk—Nora—doled out treats to a rather wary bunny rabbit and a tough-guy superhero. School had let out early and the streets were filled with costumed children begging for treats from businesses and residents.

An hour ago, Robin had popped into the inn with her BFF, Kimiko. Dave's daughter was a hippie dressed in tie-dye, fringe, and ragged jeans embroidered with peace signs and flowers—items drawn, to Dave's horror and Cassidy's amusement, from his mom's old trunks of clothes in her attic. Kimiko was a charming Japanese woman in a kimono and exaggerated make-up, her long black hair in a complicated style decorated with a butterfly clip.

Dave came into the lobby, carrying his coat and Cassidy's. He'd been transformed into a mime: black pants with suspenders over a black-and-white-striped T-shirt, a black beret, and white face paint with black and red diamonds around his eyes. As much as possible, he had tried to communicate with gestures rather than speech all day, which had led to lots of laughs.

Still not speaking, he held her jacket out and she slipped into the three-quarter-length sheepskin, another treasure from Days of Your. Not that, on the salary Dave paid her, she couldn't afford to buy something new, but why would she when Maribeth's thrift store had everything she needed? That store supported several wonderful local charities.

“I'm a cat in sheep's clothing,” Cassidy joked as Dave put on his own coat and they headed toward the front door.

It opened, letting in two princesses. The bunny and superhero went out, and Cassidy and Dave followed. The air was crisp but not cold, the sky clear, and laughter rang out.

She slipped her arm through Dave's as they crossed the street, heading toward the town square half a block away. Members of the chamber of commerce and the fire department had been setting up all day, and now the celebration was in full swing. It was almost dark and the old-fashioned lamps added a dramatic touch to the scene.

Cassidy and Dave snagged cups of hot apple cider but turned down bright red candied apples. As they watched kids bob for apples, she realized, “I don't think I've seen a single cowboy hat. Am I really still in Caribou Crossing?”

With his free hand, he gestured toward a pair of wire caribou decorated for the holiday. One was an elephant, the other a giraffe.

“Okay, I'm in Caribou Crossing. Could you break the sacred law of miming and tell me why no one's costumed as a cowboy?”

He started to speak, cleared his throat, tried again. “It's an unofficial rule. You can borrow from town history and dress up as a gold miner, but it's cheating to be a cowboy because almost everyone owns boots and a cowboy hat. Even if you add a mask and say you're the Lone Ranger, you'll be branded a loser.”

She chuckled. “JJ'd be in trouble. He liked to dress up as the Lone Ranger.”

“You're looking forward to seeing him.”

“I am. I'm so glad I phoned him and cleared the air.”

Robin and Kimiko ran over. Cassidy straightened the circlet of artificial flowers that held Robin's chestnut brown hair in place. Normally, the girl pony-tailed it, but her grandmother had insisted that today she wear it loose, straight, and parted in the middle. She also had a pink and blue peace sign painted on one cheek.

“Have you been in the haunted house?” Robin asked. “You have to go!”

After the girls ran off to join friends, Dave said, “Feeling brave?”

They entered the haunted house and screeched merrily as ghosts, giant spiders, and other horrors popped out at them. When they reemerged into the crisp air, they followed the delicious scent of chicken stew and biscuits to a booth operated by The Gold Pan, one of the town's restaurants. For dessert, they indulged in slices of pumpkin bread and pumpkin-shaped cookies with orange icing baked by members of the Parent Advisory Council at Robin's school. Once they finished eating, they pulled on their gloves and Cassidy tucked her hand through Dave's arm.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Need to sit down?”

“No, my leg's great today. Let's keep strolling.”

Since they had arrived, they'd exchanged greetings with dozens of people. By now, Cassidy knew many of the residents. Now they stopped to talk to Karen Estevez, in her RCMP uniform. “No Jamal tonight?” Cassidy asked.

“Sadly, no. He's on duty in Williams Lake. We're building good karma. When we have kids, we'll deserve to get Halloween off.”

A woman in a firefighter uniform came over and said hello. Dave and Karen greeted her, and then Karen said, “Cassidy, have you met Lark Cantrell, our fire chief?”

Cassidy was about to say no, then realized the woman's strong, attractive features, appraising brown eyes, and hint of Native Canadian blood rang a bell. “You were Karen's maid of honor, weren't you?” The only person in the wedding party who hadn't brought a plus one.

“Yes, I was. You were helping out there. I remember.”

“I'm surprised I haven't run into you around town,” Cassidy said. “It's such a small place.”

“My job and my son keep me busy.”

“I think it's very cool that the fire chief is a woman.”

Lark smiled. “I think it's pretty cool too. This is a good town. So, you folks looking forward to the fireworks?”

“The ones here,” Karen joked, “or when Jamal and I finally both make it home tonight?”

Lark smiled, but it seemed forced to Cassidy. “Whatever rocks your boat, my friend. Well, I'd better go. We're going to light the bonfire. Come on over.”

Cassidy and Dave followed her. Soon the blazing but carefully controlled fire was the center of attention, its orange flames providing not only beauty but heat. Cassidy cuddled into the curve of Dave's arm. “There's something magical about a bonfire.”

“Wait until you see the fireworks.”

“To echo Karen, which ones?”

He hugged her closer to him. “When we make love later, we should get back into our roles. I can't speak and you can only purr.”

“Mmm, I bet you can make me purr very nicely indeed.”

When it was time for the fireworks, Cassidy noted that Kimiko stood between her mom and dad, and Robin had joined Jess and Evan, who'd left little Alex with his gramma Brooke. Evan dropped a casual hand on Robin's shoulder. How odd it must be for him knowing he was the girl's biological father yet pretending to the world he was her stepdad.

It seemed all families were complicated. It was how they dealt with the complications that mattered. As she'd gotten to know the magic-dusted Caribou Crossing couples, Cassidy had found they all had their tales of tribulation. A happy marriage, she'd come to realize, took a lot of hard work. Miriam Bly had told her that it was surviving the tough times that made you appreciate your spouse. Too bad Cassidy's parents had never figured that out. Whenever they faced a tough time, they split up.

The first rocket soared into the sky, then exploded noisily in a starburst of white and red against the black canopy. The crowd cheered and Cassidy joined in.

Dave drew her back, apart from the others, to stand under a tree that had lost almost all of its leaves. He leaned against the trunk and put his arm around her.

She nestled into him, careful not to let her made-up cheek rub against his coat. “Autumn's a nice season here.”

“All seasons are great.”

“Not that you're biased or anything.”

They watched a couple more dazzling fireworks, and then he said, “About your brother's wedding . . . Are you interested in taking a date?”

Startled, she glanced away from the pyrotechnic display. So odd to hear Dave's familiar voice but see the made-up face of a mime. “You'd go with me? Really?” It would be fun to introduce him to JJ—she knew they'd get along—and to share the whole experience. But then a thought occurred to her. “Wait a minute. Is this your way of making sure I don't overdo?”

“Huh. Now that you mention it . . .” His tone was light, but then sobered. “No, honestly, that didn't occur to me. I'd just like to be with you, meet your brother and his fiancée, see where you grew up.”

She settled back against him and again turned her gaze to the sky. “I'd like that too. You'd be okay with leaving the Wild Rose for two or three days?”

“I need to learn to be. My sense of responsibility may be, uh, a little overdeveloped.”

“Gee, you think?”

He shrugged. “Madisun will be here in December and she ought to be able to manage the inn for a few days, with Sam for backup. Besides, there's phone and e-mail.”

“I'm impressed, Mr. Cousins. And yes, I'd love it if you came with me.”

They watched some red spirally, fizzy fireworks. Then he cleared his throat and said, “As for Christmas, I was hoping you'd want to spend it here. With me.”

“Oh, Dave, that would be wonderful.” Christmas here would be warm, colorful, old-fashioned. “Are you sure? Christmas is for families.” Happy ones. The kind she hadn't been part of in a very long time.

“I'm sure.” He paused, and when he next spoke his voice sounded stilted. “But you know that there's something else about Christmas, right? It involves presents.”

Did he think she wouldn't want to spend her money on gifts for his family? What better way to spend her savings? “I do recall presents. And I'd love to get presents for your family.”

“Uh, that's great, but that's not what I meant. You'll be getting them too.”

“Oh, no one has to buy presents for me.” The most she'd done in past years was exchange cards with family, and participate in a “Secret Santa” thing wherever she worked.

“They'll want to.” Another pause. “And you wouldn't be able to fit them all in your backpack. It'd be rude to leave them behind if you left Caribou Crossing, so, uh . . .”

“Even more reason that people shouldn't give me gifts. Tell you what, if they want to give me something, how about a donation to their favorite charity?”

Overhead, a dramatic display of glittery gold and white lights sparkled and crackled.

“Cassidy, what I'm saying is, I want you to stay.”

The fireworks were loud. Maybe she wasn't hearing correctly. “Right, for Christmas. Isn't that what we were talking about?”

“It's not what we're talking about now.” He sounded frustrated.

“Okay,” she said, puzzled.

He stepped away from her, turned to face her, and took her gloved hands in his. “I want you to stay here, in Caribou Crossing. Not just until your treatment plan is established, but after. I want you to stay with me.”

Her mouth opened. What was he saying?

“I love you, Cassidy, and I want you—”

“What?!” she yelped. For a moment, her heart leaped with joy—but no, this wasn't right. Panicky, she jerked her hands free. “You don't love me. You can't. That wasn't the deal. Dave, you love Anita.”

“I do, and always will. And Jessie as well. And now I love you. This isn't a
deal
, Cassidy, it's a relationship. I want you to stay, to open your heart to the possibility of a future together, to see if maybe you could love me too.”

Didn't he know her at all? She didn't
do
permanent. “You want to change me. That's not fair. I thought you liked me the way I am.”

“I do. But I love the idea of something more, of the kind of love we could build together.”

Oh God. Could they? The idea was so tempting—but so impossible. It wasn't right for either of them. “Dave, I'm sick. Flawed.” No man in his right mind would want to build a future with a woman like that.

And then it hit her. He was doing this out of pity. This was the guy who always tried to fix things for his friends. When Jess told him she was pregnant and alone, he'd proposed to her. Now here was Cassidy, dealing with an unexpected and chronic illness. He didn't trust her to look after herself; he had to do it for her. “Oh my God, Dave. Don't you get it? I do fine on my own. I don't need you.”

Realizing how rude that sounded, she softened her tone. “I appreciate your support more than I can say. I hope we'll always be friends and stay in touch. But—”

“But you don't love me,” he said bitterly. “You can't see yourself ever loving me. Shit.”

As the fireworks display crescendoed over their heads, he strode away.

His final words hung in the air and sent a pang of sorrow through her heart. Love? What did she know about love? Even if she was capable of loving, no way could she and Dave build a future. There were too many obstacles. Weren't there? Her heart urged her to run after him, but she forced herself to stand still and catalogue all those obstacles.