Love Me? The Trust Me? Trilogy (15 page)

"
Guten Tag
, Aiden and Jeni," Jörg says as we slide into the limousine.

We drive to the park, and on exiting the limousine, I see a mini train that tourists are riding, a giant chessboard, a tennis park, and a skater park. There's a bike path and even a small zoo. I stand in awe then we start to walk through the wonderful park. He takes my frozen hand in his to warm it up. We walk around and come across a horse-drawn carriage. He walks up to the driver and asks if we can have a ride. I walk over to them, and then he helps me into the carriage. The horses are a magnificent pure white, and their manes are plaited, making them look elegant and beautiful.

The carriage is open, and when the carriage driver tells the horses to move, it starts to snow, softly and lightly. I look at him and almost squeal with excitement because I've never seen snow before.

"Oh my god, it's snowing," I say holding out my hand to catch the tiny icy pieces of confetti-shaped snow. Aiden wraps his arm around me as we travel around the park in the carriage with the soft gentle snow falling on us. It catches on my eyelashes; it's so lovely.

"This is very romantic."

He leans in and kisses me. "Only the best for my girl, how are you feeling?" he asks cautiously.

"I'm fine. I must admit being in Vienna with you is way better than being at work." It's fantastic being away from Alistair, but of course, I leave that out. He holds me tight. I start to shiver as the carriage makes it way back. We get out of the carriage and thank the driver.

We walk hand in hand into a little gift shop, where they have souvenirs and various things for tourists. We look around the small shop, and I find a matching set of gloves, scarf, and beanie. I pick them up and walk around the shop to find Aiden, who has wandered off looking at snow globes. I walk up behind him and put my arms around him, embracing him from behind. He chuckles and turns to face me.

"Do you think Bree would like this?" he asks, showing me a snow globe of a Ferris wheel.

"It's gorgeous, but ... what is it?"

"It's the Ferris wheel at The Prater, which is a massive amusement park in Vienna."

"I think she'll love anything you give her."

I feel emotional and lean up and kiss him.

"What was that for?"

"Because you're the best partner a girl could wish for. You've been so supportive the last few days, and I truly am thankful."

"I'll always support you. I love you so much, and even though we've lost something special, it doesn't mean that we have to deny ourselves happiness."

In that moment, I realize I
am
happy, not joyfully or blissfully happy, but happy to be here with my man.

We buy souvenirs for everyone. He takes the tags off my newly purchased scarf, beanie, and gloves and helps me put them on. He puts his arm around me before we head outside. We spend the rest of the day wandering hand in hand around the park while snow softly falls.

We make our way back to the hotel. The heated room instantly warms me when we walk in and close the door. I take off my scarf, gloves, and beanie, followed by my jacket, and place them on the sofa as Aiden runs us a bath. He walks back into the room and over to me, taking my hands.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to do that."

I giggle and drop my hands to my sides. He seductively takes off my clothing for me. I lean toward him and start to undo his jacket. He shuffles out of it, and it falls to the floor. I continue by pulling his hooded sweater over his head and then pull his shirt off, and his masculine bare chest is showing. I move my hands down to his jeans and undo the button and fly. His jeans drop to the floor, freeing his erection. I giggle at him; he's always ready to go.

"Babe, don't get too excited. Remember the nurse said we can't make love for a week or so after ..."

"She said we can't have intercourse. She never said anything about foreplay." He pulls down my underwear so I'm naked in front of him. He bends down and cradles me to his chest and he lifts me up. I squeal as he carries me to the bathroom.

He puts me down in front of the bathtub, and he slowly enters the water, leaning back against the bath. He taps his legs for me to sit in with him. I step in front of him and lie down so my back is against his chest. He moves his arms around me, holding on to me in a bear hug, kissing me atop my head. This feels good; I relax as the soft bubbles surround my body. He gently kisses my cheek. He slowly moves his hands to my breasts and massages softly. I relax my head back into his shoulder and enjoy Aiden's touch while he massages and twirls his finger around my nipple.

I feel relaxed as he works his way down my body, massaging slowly and tenderly, until his hand is down
there.
I close my eyes. He slowly massages me and the muscles in my core react, aching and pulsating at his touch. He moves his finger down to circle on my clitoris as he starts to kiss my neck. I swallow and start to breathe heavier while his finger continues its movement. His lips graze my ear, gently tugging on my earlobe with his teeth and sending a shiver down my spine. I start to moan as he moves fast but gently on my clitoris, making my breathing quicken.

"Mmm," I murmur. He continues to kiss my ear and then tugs gently. He moves in circles over my clitoris.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he whispers in my ear. I moan in response. My head falls back onto his shoulder as the tantalizingly slow motions make me shudder with want. He moves a little quicker, making me moan again.

"Oh, Aiden." I start to feel the heat rising, and my back arches and my breathing hitches, his finger moves quicker.

"Come for me, baby," he whispers in my ear.

I ache all the way to my lower stomach. I feel it hit me, and I hold my breath.

"Ahh," I call out. His fingers move quicker until I convulse around him and scream out his name. "Aiden!"

He kisses my neck as I fall from the high. My breathing is erratic and unsteady. I lean my back into his chest. My breathing eases when he wraps his arms around my waist, holding me to him. I feel his erection poking into my back. I can't help but laugh as I feel it.

"What's funny?" he asks, almost sounding as though he's insulted.

"No, no, babe, that was great. I'm laughing at you poking me in the back." I sit up and turn around in the bath to face him, splashing water on the floor. "Oops."

I move to the other end of the tub and rest against the back of it. I gesture for him to sit against me. He turns in the tub, spilling more water over the side and making us both laugh. He leans his back against my chest and rests his head against my shoulder. He moves his face to the side for me to kiss him, which I do. I wrap my hands around his waist and cuddle into him while he rests against me.

"Baby, I don't expect anything in return. You're still very weak."

"Yes, I'm still weak, but I can't have all the fun, now can I?"

He takes my hands in his, kissing my knuckles.

"If you get tired, promise me you'll stop. I don't expect you to have enough stamina to do this."

He worries too much. I let his hands go and move my hands down to his abdomen. He leans back farther against my chest and relaxes at my touch. I move my hands from his abdomen down to his erection. He inhales when I touch him, and I know he's going to enjoy this. I start to move my hand slowly up and down his length. I move my mouth to his neck, running little kisses up and down as I pull him, slowly at first then quickening the pace. He leans back hard into me and moans.
I think he likes this speed.
I maintain my speed on him while continuing to kiss his neck.

"Oh, Jeni! Yes, just like that."

I suck on his neck and move a little quicker with my hand. He moans louder, and his body tenses with pleasure. His breathing hitches. He grabs the side of the bathtub with both hands as his head falls back on my shoulder. His face clenches in that delicious way. I move quicker again, and he explodes into the bathtub moaning my name.

"Je ... ni!"

Gradually his body relaxes. I smile at my accomplishment, and I kiss him on the cheek. He pulls the plug and empties the bath. He turns the taps on and refills it with clean water. We move back to our original positions, with me leaning against him, we both relax in the tub until we are completely wrinkled.

***

Today, we are going to the Tiergarten Schönbrunn, better known as the zoo. We have our breakfast, I put on my warm accessories, and we head out for a day amongst the animals.

"Apparently, it's the oldest zoo in the world." I read out loud from the brochure I am holding. We walk around the zoo and see giant pandas, lemurs, armadillos, Siberian tigers, and other amazing animals. The layout is similar to a bicycle wheel, and there's an octagonal pavilion where we sit and have lunch. I start to get a little weary from all the walking. We rest at the pavilion for an hour or so and then head to the gift shop. A couple walks past with their newborn baby and stops to look at the stuffed toys next to us.

I look at Aiden and instantly feel sick as I look down at the baby. He takes my hand and steers me away from them.

"I'm sorry. I know it hurts, baby. I'm hurting too." He cradles my head to his chest, a tear forms in my eye. I was having such a good time, and then the world reminds me why I'm here—to mourn the loss of our baby. I start to cry, so he takes my hand, and we walk out of the gift shop and straight to Jörg, who is waiting by the limousine. We sit in the back of the car, and I move straight into his lap. He holds me tightly, and I cry all the way back to the hotel. Will this pain ever go away?

***

The next few days, we stay in the hotel. We kiss and love each other as much as we can. Our final night in Vienna arrives, and I feel like going out.

"I want to take you to the Vienna State Opera House."

"Can we go out for dinner, make a night of it?" I ask.

"Anything you want." He helps me into my long black lace dress. "You look gorgeous. I'm a lucky man."

After dinner we arrive at the Vienna State Opera House. It's simply stunning. The features of the building are an architectural feast. We walk into the opera house. Taking my hand, he leads me to a box seat, where a waiter brings us champagne and little appetizers throughout the performance. He's gone all out for me again. I feel loved and appreciated.

"Jeni, if you find you're tired and you want to go, let me know."

I snuggle into him as the opera begins, with soft gentle violins playing for the prelude. I watch the entire performance in awe while the romantic story unfolds to bright lights and stirring, beautiful music. Tears form in my eyes when the last act finishes with the heroine dying, slowly. I never thought opera would be my thing, but I love it. The curtain falls, and the audience applauds.

We wait for the crowd to dwindle before we make our way back to Jörg. We head to the hotel. It starts to snow as we get out of the car. I stand on the sidewalk, looking up at the night's sky as the snow falls on my face. This is exactly what I needed to help me relax. He stands behind me and holds me tightly.

"I love the snow."

He turns me around. "I love you."

"Aiden."

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry I lost our baby."

"
Jeni,
" he says sternly, "it was an accident. There was nothing anyone could've done to change what happened. I don't blame you. I never could." He kisses me atop my head.
I think I know who's really to blame for killing our baby.

He leads me inside, his hand on the small of my back. We spend the night as lovingly as we can and slowly fade to sleep.

We hurriedly eat breakfast before heading to the airport. Jörg takes our suitcases and places them into the limousine.

"Wait here."

I look at him with one eyebrow raised as he heads into the gift shop. He comes out with two helium-filled balloons, one is pink and one is blue.

"What do we need balloons for?"

He takes my hand and walks with me to the park across the street. I look at him curiously. He stops, turns to me and hands me the pink balloon. I take it from him. He swallows a lump in his throat and frowns.

"It's time to say goodbye, baby."

An overwhelming panic sets in as I grip onto Aiden's shirt tightly.

"Our tiny baby. Not even knowing you before we lost you is hard to take. No one can understand how we feel. It hurts like hell to lose something so small and something so precious. You were taken from us too soon. We will miss you everyday, and we'll never forget you, little one. Rest in peace."

My heart is so heavy it feels like it dropped out of my chest. My eyes flood with tears while he speaks. He's holding me so tightly. I cry into his chest and he lifts my head up to meet his eyes.

"When we let the balloons go, we're sending them to heaven to our baby. It's to let our baby know that we love and care for him or her and that he or she will always be in our hearts. Once we let the balloons go, our sorrow goes with it."

My bottom lip quivers, and my body is shaking. I step back from Aiden and look at him with tears flooding my face and notice his eyes welling up.

"Rest in peace, sweet one." He lets his blue balloon go; a tear falls down his cheek as the balloon flies up into the air.

I feel an overwhelming sense of grief. I start to sob uncontrollably holding the pink balloon string to my chest. He steps closer and holds me in his arms.

"You have to let it go."

My legs give way, and I start to collapse. Aiden holds onto me tightly, cradling me to him as I cry in his arms for our baby.

"I can't," I whisper.

"You have to, or we can never move on. Our baby is in heaven, and you need to believe that he or she is happy and is watching us every day waiting for us to continue with our lives. Our baby would want us to be happy."

"Our baby would want us to be happy?" I reiterate.

"Yes. You need to say goodbye." He holds me, his arms tightly around my stomach from behind. I exhale abruptly and feel sick as I start to talk.

"I only knew of you for a short time, and then you were taken from us. I'm sorry you ended up in heaven, and I know I'll think of you every day. Mommy loves you, little one. Rest in peace." I let the balloon go with a sob. I watch it through tear-soaked eyes as it drifts off into the overcast, dreary sky. I breathe a sigh of relief because I feel lighter somehow.