Love of a Rockstar (20 page)

His face grew serious as he bent down to whisper in my ear. “She’s not my girlfriend. We were matched together to benefit our careers.”

If Luke honestly thought I would buy his lame story, he was in for a wakeup call. I wasn’t a naïve seventeen year old girl anymore.

“You were on a beach with your tongue down her throat.” I yelled.

“Keep your voice down,” Luke growled. “And yes I know, but trust me she is an awful kisser. There is zero attraction between us.” His eyes pleaded with me. “Please stay for the concert and I’ll prove how not involved with her I am.”

Right then, a man with a walkie-talkie to his ear appeared around the bend.

“You’re expected on stage sir,” he said to Luke.

“Be there in a second.” Luke glanced back at me, waiting for my answer.

There was no denying him and his baby blue eyes. Sighing, I crossed my arms.

“Fine,” I said.

A mega watt smile tugged at his lips. “Awesome. Stewart will lead you to the right wing where you can watch the concert.” He waved over an older man with sandy brown hair and bright green eyes dressed in all black.

“Follow me, miss,” Stewart said.

We took a sharp left, then a right, which led us to a space with a view of the stage. A woman stood off to the side, otherwise it was empty.

“Who’s that?” I asked Stewart before he could leave.

“Bunny Smith.” he whispered. “The drummer’s wife.”

Bunny was the last name I would have guessed. With her jet black hair, pale white skin, and blood red lips, she was the modern day equivalent of Snow White. Her classic pencil skirt made me tug down my dress. Next to her, I looked as if I belonged on a pole. Stewart tipped his hat and left me alone with Miss Pure. I had a strong urge to pull out my cell phone to avoid an awkward conversation. It was a tactic I’d used many times before. Just as I was about to slip my hand into my purse, Bunny turned her attention away from the stage and onto me.

“Sean, the drummer is my husband,” she said in a Minnie Mouse voice. “How about you?”

I walked over to her side. “Luke, the bass player.”

“Ah yes, the virgin.”

The idea of Luke being a virgin made me laugh. That ship sailed long time ago when he was fourteen.

Bunny grinned. “I know he’s not actually a virgin, but that’s what the band mates call him.”

“Why?”

“He never touches any of the groupies.” She nodded over to her husband. “Even my Seany did before we got married. Life of a musician and all that.”

It was nice to hear that Luke had told the truth about not touching the groupies.

Bunny leaned in close to whisper a secret. “Rumor has it, his virginal statute is because he walked out on his pregnant girlfriend. Just left her high and dry and never forgave himself.” She slapped her hand over mouth. “Oh boy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

Luke was the only original band mate left so it made sense nobody knew my past with him.

“No, it’s OK, I already knew about that,” I said.

“Really?” Bunny asked. “Do you know who it is?”

I knew why Luke kept Nil and me his little secret. It was because he didn’t want to shed the spotlight on us, which I greatly appreciated. The last thing I needed in my life was some crazed fan stalking me. Bunny may have seemed pure, but she had all the makings of a gossip queen. If I told her anything about Luke, it would not be kept confidential.

“Nope.” I shook my head. “No idea.”

Just as I predicted, she deflated. “Oh.”

An awkward silence stretched between us. Bunny played with her pearls while I tried to figure out what to say to change the subject. It was always safe to assume people loved talking about themselves.

“How did you meet Sean?” I asked.

“At a bank robbery.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yeah.” A dreamy smile flitted over her lips. “I was standing in line to deposit some cash when a masked man busted into the bank. Sean tugged me to the ground before I knew what was happening. Once the situation was over, I asked him how I could repay him for his kindness. Sean said with a date. Six months later, we were married.”

Bunny and Sean’s story sounded as if came straight from the pages of a romance novel. I had to admit I was jealous their story had a happy ending.

“Wow, I bet you don’t get tired of telling that tale,” I said.

“You would be correct,” Bunny laughed. “How about you and Luke? I’m guessing you’re dating, unless…”

I shook my head. “We used to, but not anymore. His tour schedule is too insane.”

I didn’t feel bad lying, because it was as close to the truth as possible. The only difference was I made it seem as if our breakup was mutual which I wished it had been. Then it wouldn’t have felt like a knife in my chest when Luke left.

“Smart girl.” Bunny looked over at Sean. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, but he’s gone nine months out of the year. Birthdays, Christmases, and any other major events are usually spent alone. That’s why I don’t want kids until our lives have calmed down.”

Bunny wasn’t shedding light on anything new, but hearing it said out loud and from somebody with firsthand experience made my heart flutter in panic. If I did end up with Luke, would I be able to handle his absence again?

Mistaking my panicked expression for pity, Bunny smiled. “I shouldn’t complain though. It’s not the like money is so bad.” She threw her head back and laughed.

The sparkler on her ring finger was proof of that. It probably cost as much as Nil’s college education. Nonetheless, Luke’s money didn’t mean anything to me. I had loved him when he was poor.

“Your wedding ring is stunning,” I commented.

She held the square cut diamond out in front of her. Multifaceted beams of light bounced off of it, nearly blinding me.

“It’s a family heirloom. At first, I didn’t want a crusty piece of old jewelry, but once Sean dusted off its age, I came to love it,” Bunny said.

When I was younger, I used to dream about the day Luke would propose. Candles would light the way to a rose garden where Luke would be waiting for me clad in a tuxedo. On a bended knee, he would present a black velvet box, which held a center cut diamond in a platinum setting. As tears streamed down my face, I would mutter a breathless yes. A book lined with countless other scenarios that took place on the beaches of Thailand to the vineyards in northern California was stashed underneath my childhood bed.

I heard Bunny say something, but deeply engrossed in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear her question. “I’m sorry, say again?”

She huffed out an annoyed breath of air. Obviously, she wasn’t used to people not listening to her. I bit back a smile.

“I said, have you ever thought about getting back together with Luke?” Bunny repeated.

Before I could answer, the lights dimmed and the spotlight shined onto Luke’s band.

“Hello Seattle!” the leader singer, Matthew shouted.

The crowd gave an enthusiastic cheer. I heard a distinct “I love you!” from one of their fans. Matthew shot the lucky girl his signature smirk, which garnered another holler from the crowd. “We are The Five Guys. Let’s get to it, shall we? One, two, three!”

The band launched into their latest hit single, “Love and Nails.” While Matthew was the face, Luke was the brains. He was the songwriter for The Five Guys and his mournful lyrics struck a chord with people everywhere.

“Inside I'm slowly dying / But the rain will hide my crying / And you, don't you know my tears will burn the pillow / Set this place on fire 'cause I'm tired of your lies,” Matthew crooned.

Throughout the set, I became increasingly mesmerized under Luke’s spell. He oozed sex appeal and I felt myself grow warm with desire. ,Matthew let out an ear splitting scream before he ended the last song.

“Alright everybody, thanks so much for coming out…” he said to the audience.

Luke stepped up to the mic and grabbed it from a surprised Matthew. Whatever was happening wasn’t planned. Bunny shot me a confused glance in which I responded with a shrug.

Luke set his blue eyes onto mine. “Would a lovely Miss Marlene come onto to the stage please?”

My body shook with nerves as I looked at him wide eyed. He knew I had a bad case of stage fright ever since I stumbled through my lines in the community production of
Fiddler on the Roof
when I was in fifth grade.

“I think she needs a little bit of encouragement,” Luke said.

The crowd erupted in a chorus of screams. Luke gave me a devilish grin, because he knew I wouldn’t be able to stand the noise for long, and he was right. I tentatively stepped onto the stage underneath the blinding spotlight.

“Thanks everybody,” he said to the audience who hushed at my presence.

Luke took my hand into his as my stomach dropped along with his knee. If this was his idea of proving to me he didn’t have a girlfriend, he was an idiot.

“Marlene, letting you go was my biggest regret, and now that I finally have you back, I don’t want to make that same mistake twice.” He pulled out a velvet box from his pocket. “Will you marry me?”

The box popped open to reveal a ring as big as Bunny’s. This had to be a nightmare. Luke knew I was moving to Paris with Finn. Did he honestly think a proposal would change anything? If anything it proved to me Luke was still as selfish as he was four years ago.

WITH THE SPOTLIGHT on me, a smile plastered itself across my face. It was so silent in the concert hall, you could hear a pin drop. Luke’s eyes clouded with worry as he looked anxiously out at the audience.

“What did she say?” somebody yelled.

“Nothing yet,” another person closer to the stage yelled back.

A murmur arose among the crowd, which caused the grip Luke had on my hand to tighten. Panic caused my throat to run dry. I glanced out into the blackness lit with cell phone screens.

“Marlene?” Luke whispered.

I looked down at him bended on one knee and took a step back toward the right wing.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

Anguish lined his face. “No, don’t do this.”

Desperate to get off the stage, I slipped out of his grasp with another tentative backwards step.

“I am really sorry,” I said again before I turned around and walked past Bunny who looked at me in shock.

My heels clicked against the cement floors as I navigated my way outside. Once I pushed open the heavy steel door, my body sank against the brick wall. I gulped fresh air into my lungs.

“What a fucking disaster,” I mumbled to myself.

Poor Luke rejected in front of thousands of people. But what other choice did I have? I couldn’t lie. There was no doubt in my mind by tomorrow morning, the proposal would be broadcast on every news channel. Luke portrayed as the victim while I would be typecast as the careless bitch. Awesome. A couple of seconds later, the steel door opened and banged against the brick wall. Taken aback, I stumbled to my feet. Luke looked wildly around until he found his victim. Me.

“I can’t believe you left me on the stage like that,” he screamed.

“You proposed.”

Luke threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “Yeah, because I love you.”

“You can’t just waltz back into my life and pretend like everything is the same,” I said. “I am with Finn now because you left.” Rage bubbled up inside me. “What did you think? My life would stop until the day you decided to come back again? It doesn’t work that way.”

Luke’s fists curled at his sides as a dark storminess clouded his eyes. He threw his head back and roared at the heavens. I clamped my hands over my ears to block out the heartbreaking sound. When he was done, he collapsed to his knees with his head downcast.

Luke’s voice was hoarse. “What happened to us?”

A beat of silence passed between us before I found my words again. “We grew apart.”

As soon as I said it, a profound realization hit me like a thunderbolt. Luke and I wouldn’t have stayed together even if he had stayed. My jealousy issues, his constant touring schedule and resentment for the youth we’d given up would have torn us apart. I never thought I would say it, but the distance was good for us. We’d had time to grow up.

Luke lifted his chin. “I was so desperate to win you back.”

“Proposing on stage wasn’t the right way to go about it,” I said gently.

He brushed the dirt off his knees and stood. “Maybe not, but I was so tired of living two separate lives. Luke Anderson the rock star and just Luke.”

I tilted my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“As soon as I signed my name on that dotted line, I essentially shed the man I used to be before I was famous. Who I date, what I eat, and what I wear are so orchestrated, so calculated, but once I saw you and Nil in the coffee shop that day, I knew I didn’t want that life anymore. My fans deserve to know the real me.” Luke’s gaze drank me in. “The daddy to a sweet little girl named Nil. And hopefully, if you’ll have me, husband to the woman who I am crazy about.”

I shook my head. “Luke, I’m going with Finn to Paris.”

“Tell him you changed your mind.”

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I wished it where that simple. Giving up my dream because Luke pronounced he was ready to become a father wasn’t fair. Nor was being a single mother again when he was on tour for nine months. Nil and I needed someone dependable in our lives.