Love or Luxury (14 page)

Rebecca didn't doubt it. Girls in the Meadow were all the same. She certainly wasn't the only one looking to invest in her future. She should have known news about Reid's availability would surface soon, and the claws would come out.

"You may not want to wait too much longer, or you could lose your chance with him all together," Scarlett said. "I was at the hospital yesterday dropping off care packages, and his name came up at every nurse's station I passed."

They were right, of course. She did need to move things along with him, or she was bound to lose him. Then she'd really be screwed. Her fling with Finn had nearly screwed up everything for her future. Did she want to risk something else going wrong which could prevent her from having a future with Reid?

"You guys are right. I have to stop moping around about Finn and focus on what I have with Reid. I do like him, even if he does work a lot. And is maybe a tad on the boring side."

"Trust me," Bryn started. "Once you're happily married for a year, you won't care if Reid works late anymore. You'll be living the dream." She laughed and sipped her cocktail.

Living the dream.

That was exactly what she'd always wanted. And Reid was her only shot to get it.

Chapter Fourteen

Rebecca sat back against the couch and carefully balanced her glass of champagne in her hand. The couch was rigid and firm, forcing her to sit up straight in a way that wasn't at all relaxing. Not that she could relax in her evening gown anyway. They'd stayed at the gala almost until it ended, much later than she'd expected Reid to stay. Normally, he went to bed so early and wasn't really interested in staying out late drinking or dancing or socializing.

Now she was the one who was tired and ready for bed. It had been a long day on the heels of an even longer week—one with lots of tears and little sleep. What she needed was an aspirin, a tall glass of water, and her bed. But Reid had insisted she come home with him, so she did.

She adjusted her position on the couch, trying to find a comfortable way to sit. There wasn't one on this piece of cement posing as a couch. Why on earth had he picked this couch for the so-called family room? It belonged in a very formal living room, a room that was only used on rare occasions and never for very long. One where you wanted everything to look beautiful, but feel as uncomfortable as possible so people wouldn't stay long.

This couch wasn't something she'd ever pick for her house. Of course, if she stayed with Reid, this would
be
her house.

Aside from the God-awful uncomfortable couch and a few questionable pieces of art, the house was stunning. It had everything she'd ever imagined it would have—a gourmet kitchen, dark wood floors throughout, an open layout for entertaining, and even a pool with a waterfall and hot tub out back. She hadn't been upstairs to see the bedrooms yet, but she had no reason to believe they wouldn't be huge, well-appointed, and tastefully decorated.

The private horse stable and access to the Meadow Ridge Riding Academy trails was like something out of a storybook. And if she stayed with Reid, it would all be hers.

In short, it was her dream house.

"Did you enjoy the gala?" Reid asked.

Conversation with Reid still seemed a little stilted, like he didn't know how to talk to her, even though it had never been a problem for him in high school. Maybe he was still trying to figure out where their relationship was headed as much as she was. Maybe, if she loosened up a little around him, he would loosen up too.

"It was great. Thank you for buying me this wonderful gown and necklace. I don't even know how to thank you for your gifts."

She smiled at him and took a sip of her champagne. Something about the bubbles made her feel the effects of the alcohol faster, which was exactly what she needed right now. Not that she needed to get drunk to enjoy Reid's company. But maybe if she was relaxed and a tiny bit buzzed, she would be more open to letting herself get swept away by him. Maybe the alcohol could wash away the lingering thoughts of Finn from her mind.

"The gala wasn't the only amazing thing tonight." He ran his hand along her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Every time we're together, I'm more amazed I have you in my life again."

"You're very sweet."

He was handsome, too. In high school he'd been funny, but she hadn't seen that side of him as an adult yet. Hopefully, it would come back soon. She loved men who made her laugh.

"I'm serious." He cupped his hand along her jaw. "I'm happy I went away to study, so I can help people lead healthier, longer lives now. But thinking about all the years I lost with you makes me wish there'd been another way. I should have taken you with me. Not seeing your face, your eyes, your smile—not hearing you laugh or say my name, it hurt me for a long time."

Really? He'd never called, or written, or even friended her on Facebook. Had he really been pining away for her all these years just like she had? Well, like she thought she had. Now she wasn't so sure what she'd felt all these years was love or maybe just longing to be loved by someone.

"The day I walked away from you to go to school was the day I left my heart in the Meadow. When I saw you again for the first time on the sidewalk that day, I felt like I'd gotten my heart back."

Tears sprang to her eyes at his words. He was saying all the things she'd wanted him to say for years. That he missed her. That he never stopped loving her. That she had his heart completely.

And yet, she couldn't bring herself to say the same back. Couldn't bring herself to feel the way she'd thought she had all these years.

"I lost you once, Rebecca, and I don't ever want to lose you again." Reid pulled a small box from his pocket and held it out to her. He opened it and inside a diamond ring sparkled.

A huge, round diamond surrounded by more diamonds and set in platinum. Stunning did little to describe it.

"Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me." He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto her finger. It fit as if it had been made just for her.

She tried to blink away tears but only succeeded in blurring her vision more. A ring on her finger… a proposal from a man who said he'd never stopped loving her.

And the promise of a life she'd always wanted.

How could she say no?

The weight of the ring on her finger made her heart feel heavy as it thundered in her chest. She expected this moment to feel different. She'd thought when someone finally proposed to her she'd be filled with love and happiness and excitement. Instead, she felt a little awkward and uncomfortable and unsure of herself.

Reid's happiness was clear.

And yet, she had to force a smile to her lips. How could she say, yes?

"You've made me so happy, Rebecca."

He kissed her with more passion than he had on any of their other dates. Finally, a little spark of feeling shot through her, a tiny hint of that old fire she'd seen in him came back to life. Maybe all he needed to loosen up and relax with her was an official commitment. Not that she'd actually given him an answer yet.

"I need to call my mother and let her know. She'll want to book the club immediately."

He dialed his cell and was sharing the good news with his mother and father before she'd even found the strength to formulate her thoughts into something coherent. And when he'd put the phone to her ear to be congratulated by his parents, all she could think to say was thank you.

As she twisted the heavy ring on her finger, more tears filled her eyes. But were they tears of happiness or something else entirely?

"Who should we call next?" he asked, smiling from ear to ear.

"I need to go," she said quietly. "This is all too much. I need to let this sink in."

"But I have more people to tell tonight. I should have asked you before the gala and then we could have told everyone. Don't you want to at least call the girls and tell them the great news?"

"No. No, I don't want to tell anyone else yet. We told your parents; now can we keep this between us, just until tomorrow?"

He looked disappointed. "I suppose we can celebrate privately tonight. What did you have in mind?" He pulled her into his lap and kissed her neck, clearly thinking of a way to celebrate their engagement.

"I need to go home. I think the food was off tonight. I feel sick." She climbed out of his lap and grabbed her coat out of the closet. "I'd rather share our… news and… celebrate properly when I'm feeling well. Okay?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Let me drive you home." He rose from the couch.

"No," she said, taking hurried steps to the door. "I think the motion of the car will make me feel more sick. It's only a few blocks; I'll walk." He still hadn't seen her apartment, and she wasn't going to risk him wanting to see her inside to make sure she was okay. No way. The mystery of her crappy finances had held this whole time. It could hold a little longer.

She may have grown up as the chauffeur's daughter, but she'd always been treated as a Bloom. Somehow, no one had gossiped about her being cut off from the Bloom fortune yet, and she'd do what she had to, to keep up appearances.

Before he could argue with her, she slipped out the door and fled into the cool night air.

* * * *

Rebecca leaned back under her favorite tree in the park, the one that reminded her of her mom, and let the tears fall silently down her cheeks. No point in stopping them since every time she'd tried, more bubbled up from deep inside.

Moonlight filtered through the branches of the tree, casting a glow around her. The ring on her finger twinkled like a thousand stars in the sky, each twinkle taunting her about the situation she found herself in.

How had she managed to end up here? And wasn't here exactly where she wanted to be?

So why the hell couldn't she stop crying and celebrate
instead?

She shouldn't be sitting in the park alone on the night of her engagement. She should be in Reid's arms, reveling in the glow of her shining future with him. She'd finally have the life she always wanted. Wouldn't she?

Technically, on paper that was true. Reid was everything she wanted in a husband. Maybe he wasn't funny or flirty or around very often, but he was sort of sweet—well, when she wasn't interrupting him at the clinic—and if she counted the extravagant gifts he'd bought her, he treated her like a princess.

A girl never got everything on her wish list, did she?

And most importantly, he came with the stability she wanted—the house in the Meadow, the financial freedom she'd been dreaming of, and the life she'd always lived and wanted to keep on living. She'd finally be able to move her father out of his crappy condo and into a wing of Reid's, no,
her
giant house. She'd be able to provide for him the quality of life he'd managed to provide for her growing up.

But if Reid had offered her everything she'd always wanted, why wasn't she jumping up and down with excitement?

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, imagining what her life with Reid would be like for the next however many years. Thoughts of dinners out with little conversation came to mind first, followed quickly by lukewarm kisses and evenings spent alone while he worked late at the office. Not exactly the kinds of thoughts to give her the warm fuzzy feelings she hoped for.

Her mind drifted to thoughts of Finn as it did far too often. Cozy evenings spent in front of the fireplace on his cushy couch, kisses so hot they left a trail of steam rising from her body as he explored her, making her feel things she'd never felt before, sunny afternoons spent cruising around on the back of his motorcycle—well, once she'd fully recovered from the accident.

The accident.

The evening she'd been so scared he'd been hurt. The evening she would have taken down a fleet of nurses if they'd tried to keep her from seeing Finn. Or at least, she would have gone down fighting to see him.

The night she'd sat by his bedside for hours, talking and holding his hand until he'd finally been released. The fear that if she left his side, something would happen because of his concussion, and she'd lose him for good. She'd never been so scared in all her life.

But it hadn't taken some terrible tragedy to lose him. Nope. She'd lost him when she'd been too stupid to make sure she was free and clear to be with Finn fully. She'd lost him because she'd been too selfish to listen to her own feelings.

No. She hadn't lost him. Lost implied she was a victim in all of this. But that wasn't the case at all.

She'd been the one who'd made the huge mistake of thinking that she could just have her fun with Finn then walk away without anyone getting hurt. She'd been so stupid. And selfish. And materialistic. She was the one who thought Finn wasn't good enough for her and because of that, she'd been too blind to see how wonderful he really was.

Finn wanted to be with her and had been nothing but amazing. And what had she done in return? Used him as a fling as if his feelings in all of this didn't matter. Why? Because he didn't own a fancy home or run a big business or live in the Meadow.

She'd been too self-absorbed in her quest to secure a suitable future, she'd screwed up everything with Finn—the only man who made her feel like she belonged somewhere.

But that still didn't change the fact he never wanted to get married, and she did. Could she ever be with a man who would never put a ring on her finger? Who would never make a lifetime commitment to her and only her?

Rebecca twisted her watch in circles around her wrist, her mother's words coming back to her as they always seemed to.
It's about time.

A new round of sobs bubbled up from her chest. She cried harder than she'd ever cried before. Life was about time. And what had she done with hers? Wasted it, that's what. Wasted it in the Meadow, waiting for a man she didn't really love. Wasted it by not listening to what her heart shouted.

Her chest felt like a lead weight crushing her. But she knew what was really crushing her.

Pulling Reid's ring from her finger, her decision to marry him solidified in her mind.

Or rather, her decision
not
to marry him.

He wasn't the man she loved. He could give her everything she'd ever wanted, except the kind of love she wanted more than anything.

Finn was the only one who could give her that.

At least, he'd seemed like he could give her that kind of love before she'd been a bitch and basically told him he wasn't good enough for her. That wasn't the truth at all.

She wasn't good enough for him.

He'd been nothing but wonderful to her the whole time she'd known him, and she'd repaid him by telling him he hadn't been good for anything more than a fling. Her chest constricted at the memory of the hurt on his face. The hurt she'd caused singlehandedly.

She wanted, more than anything, to take her words and actions back. If only she'd thought about all of this earlier, before she'd made the biggest mistake of her life by treating Finn like he was a pawn in some big game then made an even bigger mistake by letting Reid think she wanted to marry him.

Oh God, he'd told his parents. His mom would be booking the ballroom at the club the next morning. Once she was forced to cancel the booking, all of Meadow Ridge would know she'd turned down his marriage proposal.