Love Redone in Hidden Harbor (Island County Book 2) (16 page)

“Oh, please. You would’ve found a way.” Happy lines formed around her eyes, and I was excited for what I was about to do.

She had no idea and no expectations. I’d always paid her hourly, but that was changing starting today. I opened the calculator on my laptop and typed in the gross amount and figured out a nice percentage for her. Moving forward, she’d get a percent of the gross on every holiday. I opened my bookkeeping software and typed in the figures and hit print.

“You can go grab the check off the printer,” I told her, smiling. “If you have enough energy and I’ll sign it.”

“You know, I’m not sure I do,” she giggled, slowly standing. “Do you think there’ll be any more customers coming in?”

“Probably. There are always a few stragglers on Valentine’s Day, but I’ve totally got them covered. You can take off.” I opened up my email and scrolled through quickly before glancing over at Sophie.

“Hey, sweetie. I know you’re tired, but I think you might have made a mistake.”

My brows shot up, feigning surprise. “How so?”

“I think you added a zero or something.” She smiled, shaking the check in front of me.

 “No. That’s right. I switched you from hourly to a percentage of our take.”

Her hand dropped to her side. “Why would you do that?”

“I couldn’t have gotten through this without you, and I’ve finally gotten everything to a place where as long as I can, I will.”

“I can’t accept this check.”

“Yes, you can and you will.” I stood up and gave her a hug.

“You have no idea what this does for me.” She held it to her chest. “Sometimes I ask myself why I stay on the island when I could make so much more in Seattle, but I love it here. It’s my home and I’d gladly work ten jobs if it meant I got to stay with my family and friends.”

“Don’t thank me, Sophie. You’re an incredible person, and I wish I could do even more. You’re so worth every penny and more.”

She shook her head. “We’re still trying to pay off my dad’s hospital bills and this will help so much. My stepmom will be beside herself.”

My heart squeezed into itself. Of course Sophie would give it away. That was just who she was. She had a heart of pure gold.

“Seriously, no more thank-yous. Just go pick up something delicious from Norma’s and, at least, enjoy one meal you’re not having to cook for everyone.”

She gave me another squeeze. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?”

“I’m a hundred percent certain.” I grinned, bringing my email back up.

“Okay, I’ll see ya this weekend.” She bolted out the door as my eyes landed on an email I had stopped expecting.

Natty,

I’ve left several messages at your home number and haven’t heard back so I thought I’d try your email. My brother told me he saw you at the emergency room. Are you okay? I’ve been waiting on Anthony hand and foot since he broke his. Yes, I’m back on the island. It’s a long story. Aren’t they always? I’ve missed you. Please let me know how you’re doing and if everything is okay. I guess that is relative.

All best,

Cole

All best?
What the hell was that? I’d say as emotionally charged as Kind regards or Best wishes.

No, wait. I should be grateful he decided to check on me, and he did mention he missed me but still. I took in a deep, slow breath as I walked over to my purse in the back room and pulled out the breathing exercises I got from the hospital.

I wouldn’t let Cole rule my life or ruin it for that matter. He was nothing more than another citizen of this great world. My eyes fell to the first exercise, and I followed the simple instructions, taking a slow, deep breath of four beats through the nose before exhaling slowly, four beats out the nose.

I closed my eyes and continued the same pattern until all the nasty thoughts about his closing remarks magically floated into the atmosphere never to return. I was back in control, and this email was nothing more than a client checking on his florist.

In one, two, three, four, and out four, three, two, and one.

Again.

In one, two, three, four, and out four, three, two, and one.

The chime interrupted my balance, and my eyes shot open, but I did feel much calmer, more centered. I walked out from the back room, scooting in between the last few arrangements, and made my way to the counter, not seeing who might have strolled in.

It wasn’t until I leaned forward and glanced toward the espresso bar that I realized who waltzed in. He was leaning over, looking at some of the cupcakes in the case, and it took every single ounce of willpower not to look at him with ungodly thoughts.

“You left your brother alone?” I asked, my voice far too breathy for its own good.

Where were those breathing exercises?

And then I saw it.

He spun around slowly holding a gorgeous arrangement filled with soft pink peonies and dusty miller outlining the flowers. It was breathtaking, and I had no idea how he got it because I certainly didn’t make it.

He walked over slowly, and his eyes locked on mine, making me wish I had more than breathing exercises, possibly a brown paper sack.

“I know you do this for a living, but it only seemed right that the woman making everyone else’s Valentine’s Day fabulous, should get something in return.”

“Where in the world—” I took a few steps forward, recognizing an envelope from a Seattle florist.

“I hope you don’t mind more flowers.” His smile made it harder for me to keep my distance.

“How did you get this here?” I asked, taking the bouquet from him. “They are absolutely beautiful. Thank you. It was really thoughtful.”

“It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Apparently the ferry is a huge deterrent. But I knew there had to be a way. It wouldn’t be fair to call in for an order and then turn around and give it back to you.”

“Good call,” I said, smiling. My fingers ran along the edges of the dusty miller, loving the velvety feel against my fingertips.

“I remembered you loved peonies and this.” He touched the velvet, his finger bumping into mine, and I knew things were always easier said than done. But I would keep my distance.

“I did. I do. I love them. I’ll keep this by my bed.”

“Did you get my email?” he asked. The look in his eyes made all the progress I’d made shoot right out the window.

“I just saw it, actually. I’ve been swamped with Valentine’s Day. And sorry about the voicemails. I haven’t checked my messages at home all week.”

He stepped around the counter and lessened the space between us, making my throat feel thick with regret for being so weak around him.

But finally strength from somewhere grew, and I took a step back.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Like your email said, I guess it’s all relative.” I bit my lip, and his gaze dropped to my mouth. His lip curled slightly, and I felt dizzy, intoxicated, being so close to the man I’d somehow managed to lose along the way.

“Is there anything I can do?” his voice rumbled into my bones, and I suddenly wanted to imagine a life where everything would turn out like the fairy tales I grew up loving.

Truthfully, I didn’t realize until I was older just how twisted most of those fairy tales really were. Apparently they mimicked life more than I realized. The stories had been tamed over hundreds of years to present a more delicate balance of right and wrong. But right now, I felt like Cole was the exotic wolf, and I was little Red Riding Hood debating just how far I’d take things.

And here we were. My heart still broken, and the sting of loss still my only protection from letting myself fall for him again.

“Natty?” he asked, his voice softening.

Right. I still hadn’t answered.

“I’m fine. I had a lot on my mind with the holiday and stuff.” I took another step back, hoping the space would offer a buffer.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” he asked.

I nodded, needing to get this back on track. “Is Cynthia taking care of your brother while you’re out?”

It was only fair that I reminded him of the many obstacles separating us over the years.

He took a deep breath in and took another step forward. His brown eyes bored into me, and I felt exposed. Sensing my vulnerabilities, he took another step forward. The connection we’d had was more than physical. He’d understood me, he’d supported me, and he raised me above himself in all ways, all the time.

Until the end.

“I left Cynthia.”

“When?” my breath caught.

“A few weeks ago. Before I came to your house.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“Would it have mattered?”

“Probably not.” I sucked on my lips and glanced at a couple wandering along the sidewalk outside my shop. I still needed to roll in all my displays.

Pickles walked in between Cole’s legs, brushing up against his ankles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“She’s always had a thing for you.”

He brought his gaze back to mine. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He shook his head and ran his palm over his face while groaning. “I haven’t done anything right. I never should have left for Georgia unless you were in the seat next to me.”

“We were young.” I flicked my hand into the air as if to dismiss…

As if to dismiss everything.

Him.

Our past.

Our decisions.

The life in front of us.

“It doesn’t matter that I was young. I was in love with you, and I let you slip through my fingers.” His eyes pleaded with me for something I couldn’t give.

The scars I had ran too deep. He didn’t put them all there, but I was the one who had to let them heal. Somehow, I had to be strong enough to let him go so I could focus on me.

Focus on me without him distracting me.

There hadn’t been a Cole and Natty for over eight years, but I’d mistakenly clung onto that past as if it were my present. And now the man who’d made up part of that equation was in front of me, but I wasn’t ready.

And neither was he.

“I appreciate hearing that.” I wanted to tell him everything I’d found out. That he’d sent letters, that he hadn’t let me go easily like I thought. But I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do.

“I swear to God, there’s never been a day when I didn’t think of you. It didn’t matter if it was something as small as eating a cheeseburger. I’d picture you sitting there picking off the tomatoes and pickles, only to eat them separately.”

I looked away, unable to focus. My eyes blurred with the memories, but I couldn’t let him see inside of me, and I knew with Cole that was all it would take.

Just one look to know he’d always had my heart.

We stood quietly in the store, neither of us willing to end this, whatever this was. I thought about all the letters I never got to see. What did they say? Would it only have made this worse?

This. This is what I needed to think about. The current situation we were both in. He’d almost gotten married and he still might. It had only been a few weeks. He could change his mind, and I might get caught in his crosshairs.

“You’ll always be in my heart, Cole. You were my first love.”

“You’ve been my only love.” His voice caught, and I had to focus on the flowers he brought me.

“I think you’ve had a rough few weeks,” I told him. “You’re not thinking clearly and that’s okay. Give it time. Your heart will mend over Cynthia, and you’ll see what’s important to you.”

His brow quirked and his eyes darkened slightly. “My heart doesn’t need to mend over Cynthia. I never loved her.”

I shook my head and reached out for his hand. “You almost married her, Cole. And the idea that you’d marry someone you didn’t love is worse than marrying her. That’s not the Cole I grew up with.”

“Come on, Natty. I know you feel what I do. Being around you makes me feel alive again. It’s like before. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. We can’t deny what’s going on between us. This is what love is supposed to be.”

“You didn’t hear what I said, Cole. You’re telling me you were willing to spend the rest of your life with a woman you didn’t love. That’s not the Cole I remember. You can’t come back expecting me to forget what you hired me for or turn a blind eye. I met her, Cole.”

“Remember our first year at college? Our first time away from home?  We’d spend night after night in each other’s arms, filling each other in on our hopes and dreams. I’ve never forgotten.”

He knew too much about me, and I couldn’t afford for him to use our past as a weapon. My heart pounded as I looked into his eyes. I’d dreamed of one last kiss from him, imagined the taste of his lips, and what his body felt like. Cole took a step forward and his hands slid onto my hips. The heat of his touch nearly melted me, but I stood strong.

“I haven’t either, Cole. But eight years is a long time.”

I would never admit this to a soul, but I’d secretly dreamed that Cole would come riding back into town—sans a white horse—and admit his mistakes and beg me to take him back. Year after year, I let myself believe that I was Cole’s one and only true love and soon he’d realize it and come back. I was embarrassed to admit this even to myself. I was stronger than that.

Yet now that he was here, I realized history was bound to repeat itself. There was more at play here than timing or complication. If I didn’t fix myself first I’d never fully understand how great love could be. I needed a complete redo and so did he.

Cole didn’t even see what he almost did, and what he still might do. Only time would tell.

He took another step closer and tilted his head, his eyes settling on my lips. My entire body responded to him like I knew it would. I wanted him in every way possible. The craving spreading through me was like a drug, begging me to give in just this once.

“You need time,” I whispered.

“I’ve had eight years,” he murmured. “I can’t wait any longer to make you mine.”

His hands slowly slid along my back and a wave of goose bumps flooded my skin. His touch nearly unhinged me.

I slowly shook my head and placed my hands on his chest. “I can’t, Cole. It wouldn’t be fair.”