Authors: Cecelia Ahern
years
in
a
size
that
makes
me
physically
sick,
but
that
has
caused
me
to
lose
the
will
to
care
about
doing
something
about
.
.
.
anything
or
anything
about
something
.
Teddy
grunts
good-bye
to
me,
I
squeeze
myself
into
my
banged-up
rusty
old
unfaithful
mini
that
breaks
down
almost
every
morning
on
the
motorway
that
bears
more
of
a
resemblance
to
a
car-park
than
a
road.
I
park
my
car,
arrive
into
work
late
again,
and
get
given
out
to
by
someone
I
have
been
forced
to
nickname
Randy
Andy.
I
sit
at
my
desk
where
I
concoct
stories
which
help
me
escape
the
office
where
I
flee
to
the
outside
world
for
a
sneaky
cigarette.
I
do
this
various
times
a
day.
I
speak
to
nobody
all
day,
nobody
speaks
to
me
and
then
I
return
home
at
7
p.m.
feeling
absolutely
exhausted
and
starv-
ing,
to
a
home
that
will
never
be
cleaned
and
a
dinner
that
will
never
prepare
itself.
I
do
this
every
day
.
On
Saturday
nights
I
meet
you,
and
we
go
out
and
I
suffer
all
day
Sunday
with
a
hangover.
This
means
that
I
turn
into
a
zombie
and
lie
on
the
couch
like
a
piece
of
broccoli.
The
house
still
doesn’t
get
tidied
and
despite
being
screamed
at,
it
refuses
to
tidy
itself.
I
wake
up
on
Monday
morning
to
that
awful
horrible
wailing
sound
of
my
love,
rosie
193
alarm
clock
that’s
beginning
to
sound
like
na
na
na
na
na
,
just
to
begin
the
week
all
over
again.
Rosie,
how
could
you
say
I
don’t
need
change?
I
desperately
need
change.
Rosie:
Ruby,
we
both
need
change.
FOR
A
SPECIAL
FRIEND,
MAY
THIS
BE
THE
BEGINNING
OF
A
TRULY
HAPPY
AND
SUCCESSFUL
YEAR
FOR
YOU!
SORRY
RUBY
THIS
WAS
THE
ONLY
HALF
DECENT
CARD
I
COULD
FIND
THAT
DIDN’T
GO
ON
ABOUT
HOW
YOUR
LIFE
IS
ALMOST
ENDING.
THANKS
FOR
ALWAYS
BEING
THERE
FOR
ME,
EVEN
THOUGH
YOU’D
RATHER
NOT
BE!
YOU’RE
A
FANTASTIC
FRIEND
TO
HAVE,
LET’S
ENJOY
THIS
BIRTHDAY
AND
GOOD
LUCK
IN
YOUR
NEW
YEAR.
LOVE,
ROSIE
PS:
I
HOPE
YOU
LIKE
YOUR
PRESSIE,
NEVER
COMPLAIN
OF
CHANGE
EVER
AGAIN!
This
voucher
entitles
the
bearer
to
10
lessons
in
salsa
dancing.
Ricardo
will
be
your
teacher
every
Wednesday
@
8
p.m.
in
the
school
hall
of
St.
Patrick’s
secondary
school.
You
have
an
instant
message
from:
RUBY