Love, Rosie (281 page)
Authors: Cecelia Ahern
SingleSam:
Wildflower:
Buttercup:
Divorced_1:
LonelyLady:
Wahoo!
Here
comes
the
bride,
all
dressed
in
.
.
.
Black.
How
charming.
She’s
right
to
wear
black.
What’s
wrong
with
misery
guts
today?
She
found
a
letter
from
Alex
that
was
written
12
years
ago
proclaiming
his
love
for
her
and
she
doesn’t
know
what
to
do.
Divorced_1:
Here’s
a
word
of
advice.
Get
over
it
,
he’s
married.
Now
let’s
focus
the
attention
on
me
for
a
change.
SoOverHim
has
entered
the
room
FatherMichael:
OK
let’s
begin.
We
are
gathered
here
online
today
to
wit-
ness
the
marriage
of
SingleSam
(soon
to
be
“Sam”)
and
Divorced_1
(soon
to
be
“Married_1”).
SoOverHim:
WHAT??
WHAT
THE
HELL
IS
GOING
ON
HERE?
THIS
IS
A
MARRIAGE
CEREMONY
IN
A
DIVORCED
PEOPLE
CHAT
ROOM??
Wildflower:
Divorced_1:
SoOverHim:
Uh-oh,
looks
like
we
got
ourselves
a
gate
crasher
here.
Excuse
me
can
we
see
your
wedding
invite
please?
Ha
ha.
YOU
THINK
THIS
IS
FUNNY?
YOU
PEOPLE
MAKE
ME
SICK,
COMING
IN
HERE
AND
TRYING
TO
UPSET
OTHERS
WHO
ARE
GENUINELY
TROUBLED.
Buttercup:
LonelyLady:
SoOverHim:
Buttercup:
Oh
we
are
genuinely
troubled
alright.
And
could
you
please
STOP
SHOUTING.
You
see
SoOverHim,
this
is
where
SingleSam
and
Divorced_1
met
for
the
first
time.
OH
I
HAVE
SEEN
IT
ALL
NOW!
Sshh!
love,
rosie
413
Sorry.
Mind
if
I
stick
around?
Sure
grab
a
pew;
just
don’t
trip
over
my
train.
Ha
ha.
OK
we
should
get
on
with
this;
I
don’t
want
to
be
late
for
my
2
o’clock.
First
I
have
to
ask,
is
there
anyone
in
here
who
thinks
there
is
any
reason
why
these
two
should
not
be
married?
SoOverHim:
Divorced_1:
Wildflower:
FatherMichael:
LonelyLady:
SureOne:
Buttercup:
SoOverHim:
FatherMichael:
Divorced_1:
FatherMichael:
SingleSam:
FatherMichael:
Divorced_1:
FatherMichael:
Yes.
I
could
give
more
than
one
reason.
Hell
yes.
DON’T
DO
IT!
Well
I’m
afraid
this
has
put
me
in
a
very
tricky
predicament.
Father
we
are
in
a
divorced
chat
room,
of
course
they
all
object
to
marriage.
Can
we
get
on
with
it?
Certainly.
Do
you
Sam
take
Penelope
to
be
your
lawful
wedded
wife?
I
do.
Do
you
Penelope
take
Sam
to
be
your
lawful
wedded
hus-
band?
I
do
(yeah,
yeah
my
name
is
Penelope).
You
have
already
e-mailed
your
vows
to
me
so
by
the
online
power
vested
in
me,
I
now
pronounce
you
husband
and
wife.
You
may
kiss
the
bride.
Now
if
the
witnesses