Lover of My Dreams (17 page)

It’s not a date
, she reminded herself.
He’s just an old friend to have dinner with.

As she dressed she began to shiver, partially from the cold and partially from the nervousness at spending an evening with Sam. His kindness was tearing down her walls of defense. It was more difficult to keep herself distant from him—especially since all she ever wanted was to be close to him.

The sweet dream she had experienced just moments before of holding Sam’s baby in her arms while Sam leaned forward to kiss his child flashed through her mind. There was an immediate sense of warmth surrounding her. The soothing scent that filled her nose made her smile. She liked the feelings both gave her.

Turning, she quickly undressed and pulled on the warm clothes. She had to admit to herself that she was pretty happy and excited to be spending some time with Sam. She was also feeling something that she was very much afraid to feel. Hope.

* * * *

True to his word, Sam was back at her campsite in twenty minutes. By then, Rachel was dressed and ready for him. When he reached out to lift her into his arms she couldn’t help but shriek in surprise.

“Is this really necessary?” she asked him seriously.

“If we wait for you to hop across the campground, our dinner will be cold before we get there,” he explained patiently.

Rachel couldn’t help but smile. She was enjoying herself already. She hated to admit it, but she liked the feel of him holding her and was ashamed of herself for enjoying the innocent intimacy so much. She knew she could not allow herself to become close to him and find herself in the difficult predicament of putting Sam’s career and her family at risk. She doubted she could survive the heartbreak of having Sam in her life, even for a short while, and then having to walk away from him again, but she wanted this time with him. She missed him and the easy friendship and comfort that they had with each other.

When they approached his camper, she saw that it was glowing warmly from the lantern that was placed in the center of the table. He set her down just inside the doorway. She hopped over to the table and sat down. She allowed him to lift her foot and gently turn her body to the right so that her foot and knee could be placed on pillows along the bench seat.

He turned and removed two dishes from the counter and placed one in front of Rachel and the other across from her for himself. Both plates were already filled with half a barbecued chicken and a baked potato each. He reached out to retrieve the plate of corn on the cob, the napkins, and the utensils, and placed them on the table.

“Sorry, I only have water to drink,” he apologized.

“That’s fine,” she insisted, impressed already by his culinary expertise. “Do you always spoil your patients this way?” She couldn’t help but tease him, happy when she saw the small smile that immediately came to him.

“A few hours ago you accused me of treating my patients very poorly,” he reminded her as he poured two glasses of water and placed them on the table before sitting across from her and looking at her very seriously.

Rachel sat back and looked at him. “I’m really sorry about that, Sam,” she apologized sincerely.

He looked at her quietly. She looked so ashamed and forlorn that he couldn’t help but smile. “That’s okay,” he said without hesitation, dismissing it.

“No, it’s not,” Rachel stopped him. “I know how important being a doctor is to you. I know you care about your patients. That was wrong of me to say what I said. I’m sorry.”

Sam searched Rachel’s face and saw the sincerity in her eyes. The beautiful brown eyes that looked at him with such sadness were enough to unnerve him. There was such a deep despondency about her that he was worried. He tried to search her face for a clue, but the shadows in the camper prevented him from getting a really good look at her.

“Apology accepted. Dig in,” he told her, pointing to the food. “I make a mean barbecued chicken if I do say so myself.”

Rachel smiled and picked the chicken up in her hands. She bit into it hungrily and made a sound of pleasure at the taste. Sam smiled and made the same sound back.

“You’re a good cook,” Rachel complimented him as she wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin.

“Thanks,” Sam said with a mouthful. “I’m a pretty good doctor, too.” He looked at her with blue eyes that were sparkling mischievously.

Rachel looked at him silently for a moment. She reached forward to lift her glass of water and took a sip before setting it down on the table before her.

“Are you okay, Sam?” she asked him finally, crossing her arms across her chest as she faced him.

“I’m fine,” he answered a little too quickly to be taken as fact.

“You have to admit it’s a little strange that you’re here,” Rachel continued, relentless in her quest to find out what was wrong. “After all, how many doctors do you know that are campground hosts in an obscure campground in the mountains of Colorado?”

Sam smiled as he put down his nearly devoured piece of chicken. “Just one,” he admitted, sitting back and licking his fingers with total enjoyment. “And now you know one, too.”

Rachel couldn’t help but smile as she watched him. “I guess I do at that,” she agreed.

“I hope you and Roy enjoyed your little joke earlier,” he said finally, reaching for the plate of corn on the cob and offering it to her.

“Had you going there, didn’t we?” she asked him, laughing as she accepted the corn and placed it on her already full plate.

“That’s an understatement,” Sam told her, shaking his head. “I was afraid I was going to have to break up a fistfight!”

Rachel laughed softly. “I love to tease Roy. He’s so much fun when he’s riled up.”

Sam looked at the woman across from him and couldn’t help but smile. He was enjoying her devilish sense of humor. It was nice to see this side of her personality again. She was acting more like the Rachel he once knew.

“It’s obvious he likes having you around.”

Rachel smiled and nodded. “I miss him a lot. I miss everything about Colorado,” she admitted honestly.

Sam watched her as her vision glazed over and she looked somewhere over his left shoulder into the darkness beyond. It was amazing how much her face softened as she disappeared into her thoughts.

She looked at Sam’s face and smiled at the grown man before her. Her face was suddenly alive with animation. “I seem to remember a certain story about a guy who got into big trouble one summer when he was skinny dipping and Roy took his clothes. Something about a long, naked walk back to the ranch where my Aunt Kay was having a church meeting. Could this guy be you, Sam?” she asked him with wide eyes that were sparkling with humor.

Sam shifted uncomfortably in the bench seat and cleared his throat in embarrassment. “I don’t think those proper ladies ever had a more interesting meeting before or since,” he admitted, wincing slightly at the memory. “I wanted to kill Roy, but he was smart enough to keep himself scarce until I had cooled down.”

Rachel’s burst of laughter made him smile despite the embarrassing memory. He watched her silently as she took the napkin from the table and wiped away the tears of laughter from her pretty brown eyes.

“I’m glad my humiliation causes you so much enjoyment,” he told her dryly, not really upset at all.

“I’m sorry,” Rachel told him in between the laughter. “I keep remembering Roy’s story. He really enjoyed telling it to me. I keep picturing how you must have looked trying to sneak into my aunt’s house to get some clothes and then walking right into the middle of all those sweet old ladies.” Rachel burst out laughing again then sobered instantly. “Oh, I’m so sorry. You must have been so embarrassed.” She reached out and touched his hand gently as she realized that she might be hurting his feelings.

Sam looked down at the soft hand that touched his and smiled at her sudden concern. He looked up at her and winked to ease her worry as she pulled her hand from his.

“Embarrassed doesn’t even touch how I felt,” he admitted, blushing lightly at the memory, making Rachel enjoy the moment even more.

She reached out once again and touched Sam’s hand, trying with all her efforts to be comforting, but laughter was threatening to bubble out. She hadn’t enjoyed herself so much in such a long time. Being with Sam gave her that enjoyment. It was really nice.

“You’re cute when you blush,” she told him, smiling when she saw his blush deepen.

Sam cleared his throat nervously, trying not to let her comment fluster him. He looked down at the hand that gently covered his and felt something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt cared for.

His index finger gently stroked the underside of her wrist, causing her to gasp at the contact. He was disappointed when she pulled away from him and placed her hands on her lap. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to reassure her, bring their time together back to a non-threatening comfort level.

“I found humor in it eventually,” he told her lightly, ignoring what had just happened when he had touched her. “Especially when I remembered how your Aunt Kay jumped up and tried to cover me with her floral china plate that had just served the entire ladies’ group apple pie.”

Rachel’s explosion of laughter made him grin at the memory. The hand that was moments before holding his was now holding her stomach, and she was looking at him with such incredible enjoyment that he had to tell her the rest.

“I gripped that plate and backed my way out of the room as fast as I could. When I left at the end of my vacation, she gave me that plate as a keepsake of my time with them. Whenever they come to visit me in Denver I make sure I serve them desert from that plate. Only your Aunt Kay knows why. Roy just thinks that we have a weird attraction to that piece of china.”

Rachel rested her head on her hand, unable to stop laughing. It took her a few minutes to calm down, but Sam waited patiently, smiling the whole time.

When she was finally quiet, she sat back and looked at Sam with an expression of total joy. “I haven’t laughed like that in so long,” she told him quietly. “Thanks.”

Sam nodded and reached forward to refill her water glass. “Any time,” he told her seriously, watching her as her expression changed from joy to sadness in the short span of seconds. “Are you okay?”

Rachel looked up at him and nodded. “This last week has been a bear,” she told him quietly.

“Do you want to talk about it, honey?” he asked her gently.

Rachel shook her head. She couldn’t speak. His concern was sweet, but it was the way he called her
honey
that had her tied in knots. She wanted him to call her that all the time. She wanted him to love her.

Hell. It doesn’t matter what I want.

She reached forward and lifted the glass to her lips. Sam watched her as she drained the liquid and put the glass down. “Do you have any other embarrassing moments you’d like to share?” she asked him suddenly, her eyes sparkling as she looked across at him.

He could only smile.

As Sam carried Rachel across the campground later that evening, he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that the night was separating them. He had enjoyed her company during the meal. He hadn’t enjoyed a woman’s company in such a long time. He had forgotten how much fun it was to spend time with Roy and Rachel.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked him suddenly, aware that he was not walking toward her tent.

“I figured you would want to stop at the facilities before turning in,” he explained quietly.

Rachel looked up at his face and smiled at his thoughtfulness. He hadn’t changed. He was still a really nice guy. It was too bad that things had worked out the way that they had. She truly mourned for the friendship and possibly more that they might have shared.

“Thanks,” she told him quietly, averting her eyes to hide the sadness she couldn’t help but feel.

He nodded in response and set her down before the women’s side of the structure that housed the pit toilets. After she hobbled inside, he walked off to the side to stand quietly as he looked out at the sites. Once he brought her back to her tent he would do his last minute check on the campground and turn in. It had been a full day and a lot had happened. He looked out across the campground while he waited. He realized that he felt peaceful and relaxed. It had been a long time since he had felt so good.

“I’m ready,” her voice came from behind him a few minutes later.

He turned to face her and bent forward to lift her into his arms. It was odd how natural it was for him to hold her. He guessed it was a natural result of a friendship that was a good one, even if it had been interrupted by so many years of being apart from each other.

When he set her down before her tent she turned to face him. He looked down at her and had to step back because he suddenly felt too close to her.

“Thanks for everything, Sam,” she told him, smiling. “The dinner was delicious. I really enjoyed myself.”

“Me, too,” he told her honestly. “You owe me a dinner when you’re feeling better.”

“Deal,” she agreed quietly. “Good night, Sam.”

“Good night, Rachel,” he answered, waiting for her to light her lantern and zip her tent closed before turning to walk back to his camper.