Lover of My Dreams (32 page)

Rachel moved against him then, stretching her body as she awakened, arching her body closer to his and tipping her head back. She opened her eyes and found herself looking into the crystal blueness of Sam’s eyes. Realization hit her, and she suddenly remembered her dream. She blushed deeply and tried to remove herself from his arms, but he held on to her tightly.

“You blush as if we just made love,” he told her quietly. “I wouldn’t mind accommodating you.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead lightly.

“I don’t know what to say,” she stammered, looking away from him in embarrassment.

“It would be great if you said yes,” he told her seductively, leaning forward to kiss her lips lightly. “I know I would enjoy making love to you, and I can guarantee you that you would enjoy it, too.”

He kissed her cheek lightly, then her temple, then her forehead, his warm breath sending shivers throughout her body as he finally found her lips and gently kissed them once again. When he eased back slightly, he saw that Rachel was looking at him very seriously.

“Sam, I’m not going to do this,” Rachel said quietly. “I can’t give myself to you and then walk away.”

“I don’t want you to walk away,” he told her firmly.

“No, you want to take me back to my tent.”

“Rachel, I only said that because I thought you wanted to leave,” he explained tiredly. “I wanted you to stay.”

She was quiet as she thought through his words. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t. She hurt too much at his rejection after they had been intimate.

“Do you realize that you held me all night, just like you’re doing now?” he asked her, smiling.

“I’m sorry,” she stammered, pulling away from him quickly. She hadn’t realized that she was so close, or that she was holding on to him.

“I’m not,” he told her quietly, pulling her back into his arms. He kissed her lips gently, then pulled back to look down at her. “As much as I hate to stop, we’d better get up. Stan and Gwen will be joining us in a few minutes for breakfast. Very thoughtful of them to leave the honeymoon couple to wake up in privacy so we could snuggle. Want to snuggle some more?” he teased her.

“Get off me,” she told him, as she pushed at his chest. She didn’t want to smile. She didn’t want to enjoy him.

“You know, it was pretty difficult to hold you in my arms all night and not make love to you,” he told her honestly. “Just give me a little encouragement and I’ll certainly do my best to please you. I don’t think Stan and Gwen would mind waiting for their breakfast. They’ll probably make themselves scarce and say an extra prayer that God will see fit to help us make a baby.”

Rachel looked up at him silently. Her dream was vivid in her mind and she found herself blushing. She was pretty sure that he was teasing, but her insecurities made her think that maybe he was mocking her deepest desires.

“I don’t think that’s funny, Sam,” she said softly as her chest filled with pain.

“I’m not trying to be funny, Rachel,” he said calmly.

“Are you trying to hurt me?”

“Of course not,” Sam said, stunned by her question. He reached up and touched her face gently. “Have I hurt you, honey?”

“Not yet,” she answered honestly.

“But you think I will?”

Rachel didn’t answer. Pushing him from her body and climbing down from the bed to stand before him, she looked at him silently for a moment. How could she answer that when she didn’t have a clue if he was going to hurt her?

Sam watched her put on her sneakers and then pick up his coat to put it on. She rushed out of the camper without another word, forgetting to retrieve her walking stick as she attempted to hurry away. His forehead furrowed in confusion. He didn’t know what had been the cause of her fear. He only knew that his bed felt empty without her in it. He wasn’t at all happy without her in his arms, snuggling against him.

* * * *

Rachel passed Gwen and Stan on her way to the bathrooms. She could only smile and nod a greeting. She didn’t want either of them to see how upset she was. Thankfully, they only waved and headed back toward Sam’s camper.

She walked as quickly as she could to the bathroom, glad that her ankle wasn’t hurting quite as much as it had been. She was only limping slightly, and she really
was
feeling so much better than she had the day before. She hated to admit it, but she really had gotten a pretty good night’s sleep lying beside Sam. She realized that being held by him so tenderly throughout the night had given her such a sense of peacefulness and joy. She reveled in the gentle caring he showed her, and she loved the feel of his body pressed solidly against hers.

Her dream flashed through her mind again and she found herself blushing at the memory. She must have had Paulette on her mind when she went to sleep and had been subconsciously thinking about having a baby herself someday. To have such a vivid dream with Sam being the person she was sharing such a wonderful future with was not something that scared her or surprised her. She had dreamed about sharing her life with him many times over the years, but this was the first time that the dream had been so real. She could actually feel the baby moving within her. Sam’s touch was more than the ghost of a dream lover. It was real. It was tangible. It was wonderful.

She tried to rationalize the dream. It seemed to her that Sam was only in the dream because he had been so much a part of her life the last few days. That had to be the reason. It was the only reason that she was willing to accept. If she thought about it being an actual glimpse into their future, it would be frightening to her. Not because it was something that she didn’t want. It was exactly what she wanted. It was worrisome because she didn’t want to be the only one feeling that way. Sam had never given her any indication that he wanted a permanent relationship with her that would give them a future filled with children. That was all her. As far as she knew, she was the one who thought about that and ached for it.

Stepping out of the building that housed the toilets, she looked across the campground to Sam’s camper. There was no sign of anyone outside it, so she decided to risk going to her tent to get a change of clothing.

Inside her tent, she sat down on her cot and rubbed her neck tiredly. She reached forward and flipped open her suitcase.

“This is getting out of hand,” she whispered to herself as she pulled out a clean pair of socks and underwear and hid them in the pockets of Sam’s warm coat. She brushed her hair quickly and threw the brush back into her suitcase before standing.

She left her tent then, zipping it closed behind her, and made her way back to the camper. When she stepped up to climb inside the trailer, Sam halted in mid-movement.

Gwen and Stan were seated on one side of the table on the bench seat and Sam was about to put a plate stacked high with pancakes in front of them. All three of them turned to face her. Gwen and Stan smiled, but Sam just looked at her silently with no expression on his face.

“Have a seat so we can eat,” he told her quietly, pulling his gaze from hers almost sadly as he turned back to the stove to remove two more pancakes.

Rachel removed the coat that she was wearing and placed it carefully on the bed where the Fletchers had spent the night then walked slowly to the table and sat across from the elderly couple. Despite her determination to remain calm, she found herself blushing at the intimacy of the morning.

“You look beautiful,” Stan told her, smiling, his blue eyes sparkling with happiness as he looked from Rachel to his wife. “Just as beautiful as my Gwen.”

Rachel looked up at him, surprised, and couldn’t help but smile at his sincere compliment. “Thank you,” she answered, self-consciously tucking her hair behind her ears.

Sam turned with his hands full of dishes and mugs and looked down at Rachel as he placed them on the table. His somber face softened visibly as he looked down at her. Gwen nudged Stan with her elbow and smiled knowingly.

Turning to get the pot of heated water from the stove, Sam returned and placed the small container of honey on the table and handed Rachel a tea bag, shaking slightly when her fingers brushed his as she took it from him. He took his seat beside her and could feel his heart beginning to pound as his leg was forced to touch hers due to the lack of room under the table.

“It’s so nice to see such a happy young couple,” Gwen told them, smiling as she ate her pancakes. “You two certainly give hope to us old cronies.”

Sam sat back in his seat and smiled. He looked at Rachel and saw the blush that was creeping up her face. He suddenly felt bad that they were deceiving such a nice old couple.

“To tell you the truth, Gwen,” he began quietly, still looking at Rachel.

“We’re not all that happy all the time,” Rachel finished for him, not allowing him to continue with his confession. She looked up at him over her teacup and silently implored him to remain silent about their true state of un-matrimony. There was no need to crush the innocent beliefs of Stan and Gwen. It wasn’t fair to do that to the kind couple just to save herself some embarrassment. Besides, Rachel admitted to herself that she wanted the fabricated relationship that she and Sam had created to be real.

“I hear that’s normal for everyone though,” Sam said, smiling at Rachel, his eyes softening at her kindness.

“You wouldn’t be normal if you never had fights,” Stan told them, laughing. “Gwen and I have had some doozies.”

“But we always made up,” Gwen said seriously. “As soon as Stan realized that I was right.”

Rachel couldn’t help but laugh and was pleased to hear Sam do the same. He had a deep, hearty laugh that made her feel good inside. She found herself smiling up at him and didn’t turn away when his attention was drawn to her.

As she faced him silently, Rachel suddenly saw Sam from a different viewpoint. She was glad to see him laugh and knew that deep down in her heart that laughter was part of what was missing in his life. He seemed too serious and worried about everything. She wondered what had made him lose the fun in his life. She wondered if what he had told her about not wanting her to leave last night was the truth. It seemed to her that it might be. Sam had never lied to her in all the time she had known him.

“So how did you two meet?” Gwen asked, breaking into Rachel’s thoughts.

Sam’s blue eyes twinkled at the memories of their childhood escapades. Where could he begin to tell about how they had grown up together? He wanted to tell them about their childhood friendship. They had shared so much. He realized suddenly how much time they had lost by being apart for so many years. All he knew was, he was glad that she was with him now. Having her with him again had already made a difference in his life. Although he cautioned himself for hoping, he felt that he might actually have a possibility of a happy future. A future that included Rachel.

“We actually knew each other as kids,” Rachel explained. “Sam is my cousin’s best friend. We hadn’t seen each other for a while and when we crossed paths again I hurt myself in a fall,” Rachel told them honestly. “Dr. McCoy here took care of me, and he’s been taking care of me ever since.” She reached up and patted his shoulder, smiling.

Sam reached up and covered Rachel’s hand with his own and squeezed a silent message of thanks. The explanation she gave was technically true, and no one was embarrassed or hurt by it.

“Not that Rachel can’t take care of herself,” he added quietly, his blue eyes sparkling with humor. “I’ve got the scars to prove it.”

Stan’s bark of laughter made them all smile. “Good for you, Rachel,” he told her, reaching out to pat her hand gently as she held her mug of tea. “It’s good to know there are still nice girls left in this crazy world.”

They ate breakfast in comfortable silence. When they finished, Sam reached for the plates and was about to rise from the table when Rachel stopped him with her hand.

“I’ll clean up,” she offered.

“I don’t want you to overexert yourself,” he told her worriedly.

“I wish you would stop being so overprotective,” she said quickly, frustration evident in her voice.

“Yes, ma’am,” he told her, leaning back in his seat and smiling at Stan.

Gwen touched Stan’s hand and nodded toward the door. “Let’s give them their privacy,” she said quietly. “We’ve been enough of an imposition already, and we should start setting up our camp.”

They slid out from the bench seat and walked toward the camper door. Rachel pushed at Sam’s body to make him stand, too.

“Go on and help them unload, Sam,” she urged him. “I saw an empty site when I was coming back from the bathroom.”

“Oh, no,” Stan protested. “You’ve done more than enough for us. We’ll be fine. You two need some time alone.”

“I’ll be out to help you unload as soon as I help Rachel clean up,” Sam told them firmly. “You’d better grab that site before someone else does.”

They headed out the door, turning as they stood just outside the camper. “Thank you for everything,” Gwen told them sincerely. “I hope we’ll see you around the campground.”

Rachel waved then looked up at Sam when the camper door closed. He was watching her silently and she got a little nervous as she became aware of his close scrutiny.

“You don’t have to stay and help,” she told him, carefully rising from the table and turning away from him to start stacking the dirty dishes.