Lover of My Dreams (5 page)

“Sam!” she called out to him quickly.

“I’m here,” he said, taking her hand in his once again and sitting down beside her carefully.

“Sam, get the large manila envelope from the drawer,” she told him, pointing to the deep cherry end table where he had just placed the bouquet of carnations.

Sam did as she told him and reached out to open the drawer. He saw the large envelope, pulled it from its resting place, and handed it to her.

“Sam, this is very important,” she told him, almost crazed with concern. “Inside this envelope are legal documents that are important for you to have. When the time is right, bring them to Frank Niemen. He’ll know what to do.”

“Mom, don’t worry about this,” Sam said calmly, trying to ease her worries.

“No, Sam,” she told him sternly, grabbing his wrist to force him to face her. “This
is
important. I need you to do this. Frank and Jarod will help you. Roy and Rachel and Kay will be there for you, too. Never forget that. They’re good friends, Sam. Don’t ever lose any of them.”

“I won’t, Mom,” Sam promised her quietly, covering her hand with his own.

“I gave Rachel my pendant,” she told him after a moment, searching his face to see if he really realized the importance of that gift.

“I’m glad,” Sam told his mom sincerely. “I would have given it to her, too.”

“Don’t let Edwin take it from her. It was mine to give, and I want her to keep it.”

Sam nodded, realizing with a sick feeling that his mother was passing on one of her most precious possessions. There was a deep sadness in the way she was looking up at him. He didn’t want to think about why.

“I’ll make sure that it stays with her,” Sam promised.

“Sam, go to your room and put those documents in your wall safe. Then come back here and we’ll talk some more,” she told him quietly.

“I’ll put them away later,” Sam said, putting the envelope beside him on the bed.

“No, Sam,” she insisted. “Do it now. It’s important that they’re in your safe.” Her voice was urgent, almost pleading as the panic rose within her.

Sam reached forward to touch her hand gently, concerned that their conversation was too much for her. “Okay, Mom,” he agreed calmly. “I’ll put them away right now. Rest while I’m gone, and we’ll talk when I get back.”

He leaned forward and kissed his mother’s cheek. She reached up to hug him to her.

“I love you, baby boy,” she told him quietly.

“I love you, Mom,” he told her, smiling down at her. “I’ll be right back.”

She let go of him and he stood, leaning forward to pick up the present and envelope that Rachel had given him then turned to leave his mother’s room. He carried them and the large manila envelope that his mother had given him to his room. He didn’t know why his mother was so concerned that he have it and insisted that he tuck it safely away in his safe, but he would do as she asked. He left the door to his mother’s suite open and walked down the hallway toward his bedroom.

He opened the door to his room and saw that Jarod had already turned down the covers of his bed. He walked to the far left wall and swung back the painting of the lavender and pink sunset that his mother had painted as a child to reveal the wall safe behind it. He spun the dial quickly to the combination that only he possessed and turned the handle to open it smoothly. He placed the manila envelope inside of it and, for some reason, placed Rachel’s gift and note in it as well. He closed the heavy safe door, spun the combination, and swung the painting back in place. He felt better somehow now that both the envelope and the present were protected.

Turning, he walked out of his room and headed back to his mother’s room. When he entered, her face was once again turned toward her windows. As he stepped closer he could see that the sky had morphed into a beautiful pink and blue swirl.

“Nice night isn’t it, Mom?” he asked, smiling as he stepped closer to his mother and sat down on her bed. “I bet you could paint that sky. You’d do a good job, too.”

He froze in his spot as he saw that her eyes were closed and she wasn’t moving.

“Mom?” he whispered, the breath catching in his throat as he looked down at her still form.

He reached up to feel for the pulse in her neck. There was none. She was gone. He remained still for the briefest of moments as the realization of her passing settled deep within his heart. As he looked down at her delicate beauty, he sadly realized that she finally looked at peace. He was glad her life had slipped away as she had been looking at the beautiful Colorado sky. He couldn’t ask for a better way for her to pass.

Everything in him broke at that moment. He leaned forward, wrapped his arms around his mother and pulled her up into his tender embrace. He hugged her tightly to him, rocking back and forth as the tears came. He did not, could not, stop the heart-wrenching sobs that escaped him as he held her.

He didn’t know how long he cried. The twilight had turned to night when he became aware again. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to find Jarod standing beside him.

“She’s gone, Jarod,” he told him in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Jarod answered. His own eyes were filled with tears as he stood beside the bed. He looked down at the woman before him and a part of him died with her passing. There was no beauty in this house any longer.

Very slowly, Sam lowered his mother’s body back against the stark white satin bedding, smoothing her graying hair back from her forehead and gently wiping the tears from her delicate face, not sure if they were hers or his.

He reached out to hold Jarod’s hand, relieved to feel the gentle pressure of the elder man’s hand as he squeezed it to let Sam know that he shared in his pain and supported him in his loss. He was thankful for the man who had given both him and his mother such gentle friendship and love over the years.

They remained at Joanna’s bedside for a very long time—each dealing with their own grief and remembering the gentle and kind woman who had shown both of them nothing but acceptance and love.

* * * *

The funeral was just as Joanna McCoy had predicted. Ostentatious. A tasteless social opportunity for the rich and famous. Edwin McCoy reveled in the attention. Rachel watched from a discreet distance, standing beside her cousin and her aunt. Her heart broke for Sam as he stood stoically beside the grave site.

The marble white coffin was covered by a blanket of white roses. It was difficult for Sam to see anything but the antiseptic sterility of the whiteness, causing his heart to pain him at the thought of the lack of comfort and love his mother had lived with. The one splash of color that invaded the bleakness was the single arrangement of pink carnations that he had placed at the head of the coffin.

Rachel struggled to hold herself together as she saw the raw pain on Sam’s face despite his efforts to hide it. The white sling holding his arm to prevent further injury to his shoulder was a stark contrast to the formal black suit that he wore. He looked like he wanted to bolt. She couldn’t blame him. It felt as if the time at the grave site was endless. She knew it was a test of control and stamina for Sam. Rachel wanted to take him in her arms and hold him tightly within the blanket of her love.

When everyone left the burial site, Rachel, Roy, and Roy’s mother Kay Monroe were the last to leave. The three of them ached to surround Sam with their caring, but they knew that Sam’s father would not appreciate what he would consider to be their interference in his plans for the day. Instead, they followed quietly, joining the procession of cars back to the McCoy estate.

Inside the McCoy home there were at least one hundred people waiting to have their two minutes with Edwin McCoy. Rachel was disgusted by the lack of compassion that the people around her showed. She stayed in the sitting room, tucked away from the rest of the crowd, sitting quietly in the middle of an elegant settee that was placed at the right corner of the room. Roy sat on one side of her and her Aunt Kay sat on the other. Jarod stood silently behind them, often stepping closer to the group when he saw any member of the socially elite group gathered there looking at the trio with contempt. It was only when they spotted Sam walking toward them that the three of them felt like they should be there. They stood to face him, their hearts aching at the blank expression on his face.

Sam hugged each one of them and thanked them for coming. It was as if he was on autopilot. Rachel knew it was the only way he could get through the day, but it felt wrong on so many levels.

Sam led the way out to the front veranda and the four who were his real family followed silently. Kay reached out to hold his hand as she stood by his right side, Jarod at her side as always. Rachel stood before him, and Roy stood to his left. They were a shield around him. He felt it. He was comforted by it.

“My father wants me to stay here to take over some of the business responsibilities,” he told them quietly, looking out toward the many expensive cars and limousines that lined the driveway.

“Sam, don’t,” Roy told him, concerned. “What about school?”

Kay squeezed his hand tightly, drawing his attention back to her. Sam looked down at the petite woman, smiling sadly into the gentle warmth of her brown eyes. The dark brown hair lightly streaked with gray framed her beautiful face, her gentle smile gifting him with the love and the peace that he always felt whenever he was around her.

“You have to finish school,” Kay told him sternly. She let go of his hand reluctantly to search for the tissue she had tucked up her sleeve and angrily wiped at her eyes.

“Sam,” Rachel said quietly, drawing his attention. “Your mother told me to tell you to never give up your dream. She knew that you wanted to finish medical school. She also knew your father would try to influence you to stay. She made me promise to tell you not to let him prevent you from doing what you were meant to do.”

Sam looked directly at Rachel and smiled. He couldn’t help the tear that escaped his right eye and did nothing to hide it or brush it away. He reached out instead to gently wipe away the tears that soaked Rachel’s cheeks with his right hand, gently caressing the tiny crescent moon at the corner of her eye before straightening and closing his eyes briefly as he took a cleansing breath.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Sam said finally so that only they heard him. His voice was void of emotion, but Rachel could feel the pain that engulfed him.

“Where’re you going?” Kay asked the young man who was her second son. She reached out to hold his hand briefly.

Sam squeezed it quickly then let go, unable to accept her gentle kindness and break his resolve to stay in control during the rest of this painful day. He was determined to remain strong.

Kay understood and stepped back to stand beside Jarod. Instinct made her lean closer toward her lifelong friend, and she found herself taking the butler’s hand within her own. She couldn’t help but seek out the support he was always willing to give her. She felt as if they were the two who had raised this outstanding young man and were feeling his pain as any parent would.

Jarod held her hand gently, standing closer to her so that their arms touched. Their gentle friendship over the past twenty years had helped Sam as he had grown up, and Jarod knew they would help him get through this difficult time, too.

“I’m leaving in the morning to go back to medical school,” Sam told them finally. “I can’t be here with him.”

No one questioned or commented. There was nothing to say. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief that Joanna McCoy’s last request was being honored. She had wanted her son to go for his dream. She had wanted Sam to be happy. Only being away from his father would allow either of those things to happen. Rachel was going to honor her promise to Joanna to help Sam with those dreams. She had no choice. It was what she had to do for the man that she loved.

Joanna McCoy had said that Sam would someday realize Rachel’s worth. She had said that Rachel was a jewel that Sam would recognize and cherish. Rachel didn’t know if that would ever happen, but she was determined that Sam had every opportunity to find his own happiness.

She looked at the man who was her friend and had to push back her tears. Her heart broke for him. Her heart ached for him. She knew she would never find a better person or a better friend. Maybe someday it would turn into something more. She could only hope.

* * * *

Rachel found herself heading toward the McCoy estate before the sun was even up the next morning. If Sam was going to leave, she was going to say good-bye and wish him well. She had promised Joanna McCoy that she would be there for her son, and she was determined that she would keep her promise.

She wasn’t lying to herself. She knew she was there because she loved Sam. Joanna McCoy’s wish for their future together was her secret wish as well. But it would have to remain just that—a secret. Sam needed her as a friend, not a burden to have to figure out how to fit into his life. Besides, she was the younger cousin of his best friend. That’s as far as the relationship would ever go. She wasn’t kidding herself that it was any more than that despite her secret fantasies that it would be more.

The light of an overhead chandelier in the alcove above the front door went on, flooding the darkness with light and drawing Rachel out of her thoughts. The door opened and she saw a tall figure standing before her. Her heart did a flip as she thought she saw Sam looking out at her, but her joy turned to coldness when she realized that it was Sam’s father. He was similar to Sam in stature but that’s where the similarity ended.