Lover of My Dreams (8 page)

She watched him silently as he held himself so proudly and announced his name to the maître d’. She admired his tailored black suit. It perfectly complemented his slender physique, accented his tanned blondness, and exemplified his attention to style.

Once their reservations were confirmed, she followed him into the dining room and sat facing the wall of windows that displayed the South Street Seaport. She sat in the wicker chair offered to her and waited silently as Richard ordered a bottle of
Cristal
in a no-nonsense tone of voice.

“Sounds like you’re ready to celebrate,” Rachel teased him. “Can you afford a bottle of
Cristal
?”

Richard smiled across at her and reached out to take her hand in his. “No, but you can,” he told her quietly, smiling slightly and winking playfully as he spoke.

Rachel hesitated briefly then smiled back at him. She didn’t know what to say. She supposed she shouldn’t say anything. She removed her hand from his, picked up her menu and looked down at it to avert her eyes from his. Her throat had suddenly turned very dry, and she couldn’t quite focus on the menu before her.

“I’ll order for us,” Richard told her, smiling, unaware of the turmoil that he was causing.

Rachel nodded slightly, all previous excitement for the evening dampened by the sudden feeling of suffocation that she felt. She sat back in her seat and viewed Richard coolly. Other memories of previous evenings out suddenly came to mind. He always seemed to be short on cash or would often remind her that she had plenty of money and should be helping him out.

Joanna McCoy’s advice echoed in her head, reminding her to keep her dignity and demand respect. Those strong memories of a time not so long ago with people who cared about her made her straighten her spine and gain her composure. Once again, her thoughts turned to her memories of Joanna McCoy, her Aunt Kay, Roy, and Sam. As always, the memories were bittersweet.

She had to mentally shake herself. With effort, she put aside her thoughts so that she could try to get through the evening and be realistic about her relationship with Richard. She sadly admitted to herself that it had been a relationship that was based purely on her own fantasy—her fantasy of finding someone to share her life with.

She watched Richard silently as he took great joy in ordering their meal from appetizer and salad to entrée and dessert. It was a beautiful and exclusive restaurant, and she knew from experience that the food was going to be cooked to perfection and cost a small fortune.

“To your writing success,” he told her, holding up his fluted glass of sparkling
Cristal
. “And to mine.” Those added words were spoken low and were accompanied by a tight smile.

Rachel raised her glass to him and sipped the champagne carefully. For an intelligent woman it certainly took her long enough to realize the truth about what Richard felt for her. At least now she knew what Richard really wanted. And it wasn’t her.

“Have some more,” Richard told her, picking up the flat bottle with the gold label and filling her glass. He reached forward to tip the end of her glass up as she brought it to her lips.

“No, Richard,” Rachel protested, barely able to stop him from tipping the glass too far and spilling the expensive drink all over her. “I don’t really want any more, thank you.”

She looked across at him and saw the irritation that immediately crossed his face as he replaced the bottle in the elegant bucket beside their table. She saw his eyes flash with anger and found that she was becoming more than impatient with him. It had taken her long enough, but she was now able to step back from the situation and assess it for what it was worth. She knew he was trying to make her feel guilty and find some reason to blame her for ruining his happy mood on this special night. He wasn’t going to be successful.

She watched him silently for a moment. Richard’s strikingly handsome face was consumed with anger. The chiseled, almost delicate features were attractive to every woman who looked at them. His complexion was perfectly tanned, his hair cropped short with lighter streaks to complement his own blond hair. It was obvious that the tan and the highlights were from artificial enhancement, not the natural result of someone who spent his time outside to allow the sunshine to affect his coloring. Why didn’t she realize that the man before her was the making of calculated determination?

The situation was awkward, but she was determined to evaluate it objectively. She knew that she would not be able to exit the restaurant without making a scene. She would have to make the best of it. She concentrated on the glass before her and took a cleansing breath. Any romantic thoughts she once had were unrealistic and would have to remain where they belonged—within her own mind.

She finally realized and accepted that she and Richard could never have any permanent relationship. She really didn’t know him very well. Until tonight she was content to be with him and enjoy the fantasy life that he had offered her. Now, as she thought back, she remembered dates that were romantic and fun, yet showed an anger and immaturity within him despite the fact that he was seven years her senior. She shook her head slowly and placed her glass before her on the table, silently wondering if any man ever truly reached full maturity.

Memories of Richard’s past childish antics were suddenly racing forth in her mind. She wondered why she had never realized it before. Could she have been that blind to the truth? Had she been so enamored with the thought of falling in love that she couldn’t see the real man before her? Obviously so. How pathetic that she was so delusional. Goodness, she was thirty years old! What the hell was wrong with her? She had the sudden urge to slap herself for her stupidity.

Richard looked at her silently, anger still very obvious on his face. His eyes were deadly cold for a moment then softened slightly. He reached out to hold her hand, squeezing it tightly and leaning forward to whisper against the side of her face.

“You can make me feel better later,” he told her seductively, licking her earlobe before leaning back and winking at her. He drank down the
Cristal
and once again reached out to lift the chilled bottle out of its bucket of ice to refill his glass.

The waiter came back with their appetizers, preventing Rachel from saying anything. She wanted to tell him off but decorum and good manners prevailed. She sat quietly, placed her napkin across her lap, and lifted her fork to her plate. The ravioli stuffed with lobster tasted like sawdust in her mouth, but she ate it mechanically.

She dined silently, watching as Richard drained one glass after another of the expensive champagne. One bottle was replenished with another. With each glass, his attention toward her was becoming more amorous. It was becoming very difficult for her to even sit silently with him.

Despite the elegance of the meal, it felt like an eternity before it was over. Rachel wasn’t quite sure how everything tasted. The food passed by her in a blur of plates. She could tell that Richard was thoroughly enjoying himself. As she watched him eat and drink, she finally admitted the truth to herself that she had always known but had kept at bay. Richard’s own enjoyment was all that ever mattered to him. She was glad that she was able to accept it without any emotional attachment.

“Sir,” the waiter said discreetly as he placed the bill contained in a leather wallet next to Richard’s right hand.

“The lady is treating tonight,” Richard said, smiling as he pushed the bill toward Rachel.

Rachel’s smile wavered slightly as she reached forward to open her purse and remove one of her bank cards. She placed it inside the leather wallet before her and looked up at the silent waiter.

“Thank you,” she said, nodding as he removed the bill.

Richard reached out and held her hand before she could put it back on her lap. He tugged at it slightly, drawing her attention to his face.

“Thanks, Madame Author,” he whispered. “Now back to my place to continue the evening. I’m looking forward to it.”

Rachel smiled stiffly. She had to tell him that she was not going to his apartment, but she couldn’t do it in the restaurant. She took the pen from the returning waiter and signed the charge slip, writing in a generous tip, not really caring about the final dollar amount of it. It didn’t matter to her anyway. The money spent tonight was the least of her concerns. She looked at the man across from her and swore a silent vow to herself. It was a hard and expensive lesson learned. The value she had for herself was more important than anything. She would not settle for Richard just to assure herself that she would not be alone.

As they left the restaurant and waited for a cab, Richard put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder, casually lowering his hand and touching the side of her breast as he held her. He looked down at her and smiled, his eyes glistening at the anticipation of the evening ahead of them. Rachel stepped back to remove herself from his embrace and turned away from him.

“I’m going to take my own cab back to my hotel,” Rachel told him quietly, gazing across the water to avoid looking at him. “I’m leaving early tomorrow morning to go home.”

Richard stared at her silently for a moment. “You can’t leave without saying good-bye,” he told her brightly. He reached out to embrace her once again and pulled her toward him roughly. “Just stay a little while longer. I promise I’ll make it worth your time.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Rachel insisted, stepping aside to wait for another cab.

He smiled at her, but said nothing. When he looked at her, Rachel felt the coldness of his stare and shivered despite the heat of the early July night. A cab pulled up alongside them. Richard leaned forward to open the door then took her arm and pushed her into the cab before she could stop him.

The shock of the sudden movement caught Rachel by surprise, and she stumbled to keep her balance as he propelled her into the waiting cab. She was stunned into a silence that Richard took full advantage of. He told the cabby his address and settled back in the seat to hold Rachel tightly against his side.

Panic was beginning to well up within Rachel’s body. She felt as if her chest was covered with a weight of cement. She didn’t want to go to Richard’s apartment. She didn’t want him touch her. She wished she could push away the sudden fear that was paralyzing her. She wanted to tell him to go to hell. But it was too late. He had firm hold of her and the cab was already on its way. Her grip on her purse intensified as her panic and anger escalated.

“Richard, I told you, I’m not going to your apartment,” she told him angrily, trying not to cause a scene as she pushed him away from her in the back seat of the cab. She decided that she would just stay in the cab and tell the cabby to take her back to her hotel after they dropped Richard off at his apartment. She was glad now that she hadn’t told him where she was staying in the City.

Anger boiled within her as they rode toward Richard’s apartment. It seemed as if they had barely climbed into the taxi when it pulled up before his apartment building. He opened the cab door and turned toward her, smiling.

“We’re home,” he whispered, reaching into his breast pocket to take out his wallet to remove some cash before replacing it in his jacket.

“You’re home,” Rachel corrected him. “I’m going back to my hotel.” Her voice was firm as she spoke. She was determined that he would not get away with his caveman attitude.

Richard hesitated a moment then stepped out of the cab, handing the cabby a folded bill as he did so. He turned around to face her then reached into the cab, grabbed both her arms and pulled her out of the cab, slamming the door closed behind them before she could react. She found herself being ushered along the sidewalk to the front of the tall apartment building where he lived, unable to stop herself.

“No, Richard. I’m not going with you!”

Her words were ignored. She found herself being carried along the street by his sheer determination. She tried to wrench her arm from his grip but her strength was no match for his. The grip on her was such that she knew she would be covered in bruises by the morning.

Panic took hold and she found that she was having trouble breathing. She felt as if she was going to faint. She was powerless to stop him from hauling her up the front steps of the apartment house and up the two flights to his apartment. She was frustrated that she couldn’t stop the ascent. She was barely able to keep her footing as Richard roughly dragged her behind him.

She fought to catch her breath as he stood before his apartment door and was searching his pocket for his keys. He still had an iron grip on her right wrist, and despite her continued struggling, she was unable to remove herself from his hold. She tried to kick his shin but he just laughed and held her tighter against his side.

“I like it when you’re feisty, Rachel,” he told her. “I’m going to enjoy fucking you.”

“Like hell,” Rachel yelled, wrenching her hand free and turning to leave. “Go jerk off, Richard. You’re not fucking me.”

She got as far as the stairway railing when she felt his arm wrap around her waist and she was dragged back to his apartment door that was already open. She kicked and struggled but his hold was like iron around her waist. In just seconds, she was inside his apartment and the door was slammed shut behind them.

She felt suffocated immediately. When he turned the dead bolt lock and fastened the many security chains, her heart was beating at a furious pace. She had to control her panic and do something.