Love's Image (21 page)

“You always have to think about these things,” her mother told her. “Especially at your age.”

“Give it up, Sara,” her father told her. “Our daughter is smart. She can figure out what she wants. If she’s tired of modeling and hanging out with her male-model friend, she’s earned the right to come down here and be with anyone she wants.”

Shannon offered her father a smile of gratitude. He didn’t talk much, but when he did speak, his words meant something.

Her next surprise visit would be to church on Sunday. She hadn’t let anyone know she’d be there. Hopefully, she’d find her friends to be as welcoming this time as they had been when she’d first met them.

Fortunately, she’d held on to her apartment, so she wouldn’t have to stay with anyone. Her car had been at her parents’ house, so she drove it home. When she got there, she pulled the curtains and blinds open, then started dusting. Since no one knew she was coming, the place hadn’t been prepared. She liked the fact that she had something to do to keep her busy until Sunday.

After dusting and running the vacuum over the carpet, she took off for the grocery store to stock up on essentials, like bottled water, yogurt, veggies, fish, and chicken. And now that she didn’t have to watch her figure quite as closely, she made a side trip down the ice cream aisle, grabbing her favorite flavor, creamy pistachio.

On Saturday, she had to resist the urge to call Janie. As much as she knew she could trust her best friend, she didn’t want to take a chance on people finding out. She wanted everyone to know at the same time that she was back to stay. That way no one’s feelings would get hurt.

Shannon was a lot more conscious of how she dressed Sunday morning. She didn’t want to stand out, but she knew people would stare from shock. She chose navy slacks and a tan turtleneck. She brushed her hair to a glossy shine and let it flow freely over her shoulders. One quick glimpse in the mirror let her know she looked fresh, clean, and ready to face the people who mattered most to her.

“Shannon!”

LaRita Manning was the first person to spot her when she pulled into the parking lot. Pulling her husband by the hand, LaRita came running, her arms open wide and ready for a hug.

“I’m so happy to see you! I thought you were still in New York. What brings you to Atlanta? Are you on location?”

Shannon smiled back, suddenly feeling shy. “No, I’m just here because I want to be here.”

“Great reason for coming.” She turned and hollered, “Hey, Judd, look who’s here!”

Before Shannon could catch her breath, she found herself surrounded by all her friends from the Bible study—all except Janie. She glanced over her shoulder, then back to the group.

“Looking for someone?” she heard from the side.

“Janie!” Shannon ran over to her and lifted her off her feet.

“Put me down, Amazon Woman.”

They both cracked up. It had been years since Shannon had heard Janie call her Amazon Woman, a name she’d used back in junior high school when Shannon shot up in height before anyone else. She stood a head taller than any guy in their grade until a few years later in high school.

When Judd approached, she noticed how a small smile twitched at the corners of his lips, but he never said a word. He just stood there, gazing at her as if he wasn’t sure this was for real.

Shannon sat between Janie and Judd during church. It felt good to be sandwiched between two people she loved. After the services ended, Janie told her she wished she’d known she was visiting, or she wouldn’t have made plans.

“That’s okay,” Shannon tried to assure her. “I’m not visiting. I’m here for good.”

Janie offered a look of disbelief. “I’ll call you later this week.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Judd said as he stood a few feet away, his hands thrust deep in his pockets. “I’m working with some kids in my class on the school play.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Shannon said. “Will you be at the Bible study tomorrow night?”

“Of course. I’m always there.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

Judd nodded, but she could tell he was guarded. It was painfully obvious that no one believed she was here to stay.

“Can we ride to the Bible study together?” Shannon asked, feeling like it was time for boldness.

After a brief hesitation, Judd nodded. “I’ll pick you up at six thirty.”

She’d hoped he might offer to go to dinner first, but she figured this was better than nothing. “See you then.”

From the moment Shannon got in Judd’s car to the time they arrived at the church, he talked about the kids at the school where he taught.

At first, Shannon listened with interest, but soon she realized he was using an evasion technique. He didn’t want to talk about anything personal.

“Stop,” she finally said when they pulled into the parking lot.

Resting his hand on top of the steering wheel, he turned to her. “This is my life, Shannon. I love what I do. Just like you love what you do.” Being the perfect gentleman, he came around to her side of the car and held it as she got out, but he still hadn’t warmed up to her.

“Thanks, Judd,” she whispered. She hadn’t corrected him or tried to explain anything. It was painfully evident words wouldn’t change anything; she’d have to prove that she was here because she wanted a permanent change in her life. She wanted to live in a more Christ-centered way.

Shannon wasn’t up on what they were studying, but now she knew she could sit back and listen. No one thought any worse of her for doing that, and she was comfortable with this knowledge.

She briefly reflected back on her first time at the Bible study. She’d felt like a fish out of water. Now she felt the connection between these followers of Christ. A warmth flooded her as she thought about the value of what she’d learned.

Once the study session was over, each person shared events from their lives since the last meeting. They prayed for each other, friends, and families. Then everyone turned to Shannon, waiting for an explanation.

Suddenly feeling put on the spot, Shannon lifted her shoulders, grinned, and said, “It’s great to be back. I’ll participate more next week, after I have a chance to catch up.” She looked around at all the wide-eyed people and added, “I’m here to stay. I’m not kidding.”

No one said anything. They just looked at each other before breaking for the evening. Shannon got the impression they didn’t believe her about coming back.

Janie gave her a perfunctory hug before taking off. Shannon stood and stared after the friend she’d known longer than anyone else. This reception wasn’t what she expected. No one was mean, but there was a distance she hadn’t anticipated.

As she and Judd walked to his car, she turned to him. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Sure, that’s fine. Where?”

“How about the Dunk ‘n Dine? I’m kind of in the mood for some of their fabulous pancakes.”

“Your wish is my command,” he said as he wriggled his eyebrows.

All the way to the restaurant, Judd told one anecdote after another, making her laugh. But she knew he was avoiding discussing anything with meaning. Had she caused this?

“I’ll have the Monster Stack,” Shannon said, pointing to the picture on the plastic menu.

“You said you were in the mood for pancakes, but I never expected this,” Judd said as he leaned on his forearms. “Aren’t you worried about watching your figure? I’ve always heard cameras add at least ten pounds.”

“Haven’t you been listening to me?” she countered. “I told you I’m here to stay. I’m not going back to New York. My modeling days are over. I want to stay here.”

“But why?”

“Because this is real. What I had in New York was just a dream. One scar that doesn’t go away, and the image is shattered.”

“But your scar did go away. You can have your old life back.”

Shannon groaned. “Sometimes, Judd Manning, you can be impossible.”

He chuckled. “That’s part of my charm.”

“Yes, you’re right,” she agreed.

A serious look replaced his grin. “Okay, so let’s say you do stick around. What then?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t we take it one day at a time?”

“You’ll have to understand if it takes awhile for everyone to accept this as a reality,” he said. “We care about you, but we don’t want to have our hearts broken again.”

Shannon understood. And he was right. She’d taken off at the first sign that she might be able to have her old career back. How could they ever believe she was serious about staying and this was what she really wanted after how she’d taken off so quickly?

Judd drove her home after they finished eating. As he walked her to her door, she reached out and took his hand. He didn’t pull away, which was a good start. Shannon had to hold on to what little bit of hope she could find. When they reached her doorstep, Shannon hoped he might kiss her. But he didn’t. He reached out, tweaked her nose, and then took a step back, almost as if he’d been burned.

“G’night, Shannon. See ya on Sunday.”

With a heavy heart, she said, “Good night, Judd. Thanks for the ride.”

Once inside her apartment, Shannon instantly headed for the phone. She called Janie.

“I gotta talk to you, Janie.”

“It’s late. Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Come over after work. I’ll cook dinner.”

Janie sighed. “Okay, fine. See you then.”

The next day seemed to drag, but finally, Janie’s knock came at the door. Shannon had dinner cooked. She opened the door and directed Janie to the kitchen.

“I hope you’re hungry. I cooked all your favorites.”

Janie sniffed the air. “Pot roast? Mm. You must want something.”

Sticking her fist on her hip, Shannon spun to face her best friend. “You think I’m up to something?”

“Of course I do. You’re always up to something.”

“You’re right,” Shannon conceded. “I’ll tell you about it while we eat.”

She explained how she’d come back for good and that she knew for sure she wasn’t the slightest bit interested in going back to modeling. Janie ate and listened but didn’t utter a word.

Finally, Shannon couldn’t take it anymore. “Well? You haven’t said what’s on your mind. What are you thinking?”

Janie swallowed her food. “I don’t know if you really want to know.”

“Yes, I do want to know. This is important to me, Janie.”

“Okay, but brace yourself. It’s gonna hurt.”

“I can take it.”

“Everyone in the group really cares about you. Especially Judd. In fact, he’s been moping around since you left. And when we saw that shot in ‘Entertainment Tonight’ with you leaving the award show with Armand at your side, I thought he’d fall over from grief.”

“You watched the award show with Judd?”

“Yeah,” Janie said. “The whole group got together because someone said you might be there. We were hoping to catch a glimpse of you. What we hadn’t expected was seeing you hanging on Armand’s arm.”