Love's Taming (The Love's Series) (24 page)

Harvey nodded again and said, “That’s real admirable, son. And I’m sorry about your dad. I bet he woulda been real proud of you. I gotta say though, that you still being in vice makes me nervous about Annie’s safety. She told us you got her apartment and clinic wired but is she safe?”

Shane wasn’t offended by Harvey’s questions.
Hell, if I had a daughter who’d been shot at because of her boyfriend, I’d be pissed.
“While I won’t make promises I can’t keep, I can tell you that the ones we went after are now behind bars. My involvement is over in that case, but I am still not takin’ her safety for granted.”

Harvey sighed heavily as he raised back to a standing position, holding out his hand again. “Well, son, that’s all I can ask. Welcome to the family.”

Just then, Annie appeared at the door to the workshop to call the men to lunch. “Everything okay in here?” she asked, her eyes going back and forth between the two men she loved.

Her father slung his arm around her shoulders kissing the top of her head. “Everything’s fine, doll-baby. Let’s go eat your mother’s good cooking!”

He walked on ahead of them and Shane took the opportunity to steal a kiss. Looking at her questioning gaze, he said, “It’s all good. We had the father ‘what are your intentions with my daughter talk’ and we’re fine.”

She rolled her eyes saying, “Oh lordy.”

*     *     *

That night, after
Shane had come in from taking Sarge outside to do his business, he broached the subject of their living arrangements.

“Baby, you know Sarge needs more room to run and something that your dad said today got me thinkin’ about findin’ another place to live.

She tried not to let the hurt show on her face when she said, “But you just moved in. I kind of thought you would stay a little bit longer.”

Shane caught the look in her eyes that she was trying so hard to hide. “Baby, you got me wrong. I’m talkin’ about us findin’ a place. Us. You and me. Well…and Sarge, Boo, Rags, and Tiddles.”

At that, she burst into laughter. “You’d take all of us?”

Shane looked the floor of the tiny apartment, where his dog and her three cats were all angling for the best sun-spot on the carpet. “Babe, I’ll start looking tomorrow.”

She maneuvered over to straddle his lap, her laughter slowing to a sly grin.

Raising his eyebrow, he asked, “You got somethin’ on your mind, sunshine?” sliding his arms around her back.

“Maaaaybe,” she replied, rolling her eyes to the ceiling as though having to think about her answer.

His hands found their way to the bottom of her shirt and he began to slowly slide them upwards, dragging the material with them higher and higher until he had to lift it over her breasts.

Feeling adventurous, she unsnapped her bra and flung it to the floor as well. Then she slid her hands to her breasts, cupping them, pushing them together as though to present them to him for his attention. “Need a snack?” she asked seductively.

Growling his response he leaned forward latching onto one nipple while his other hand began to massage the other breast. Sucking deeply, he moved his mouth from one nipple to the other, hearing her moans echoing in his ears. Sliding his teeth to the pointed nub, he nipped, then lapped with his tongue to soothe the sting. His cock was painfully pressing on his jean’s zipper, but he wanted to make this last.

“Babe, gotta take this to the bedroom,” he said while trying to stand up.

Moaning, “Why?” was the only response she could think of.

“Too much company,” he said against her breast, still sucking between words. With that, he stood up quickly as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Stalking to the bedroom he lay her down but before he could make a move she scampered off the bed.

She quickly divested him of his clothes as well as her pants and panties. She slid down on her knees surprising him when she took his swollen cock deep into her mouth.

“Oh Jesus, fuck,” he moaned, placing his hands in her hair, trying not to grab her head and face fuck her. He threw his head back against the wall and felt his world tilt. How many woman had he let suck him off, especially in the last couple of years where that was preferable to stickin’ his dick somewhere nasty, even with a condom. For an instant, he was back there – in the dark, dirty rooms that the gang used to hole up in, waiting on orders. The women would circle around the men, sucking them off or fucking them in a corner. No privacy. No way to avoid that shit if your life depended on fitting in.

Coming back to reality, he looked down at his woman, on her knees as though she were worshipping his body. Her eyes were looking up at him strangely and she slowly slid her mouth off of his aching cock.

Running her tongue over her lips she stared up at him, knowing that his mind was not with her.
Maybe I’m not doing this right. Maybe he doesn’t like it.

“Are you okay?” she asked tentatively, insecurity stealing over her.

Shane looked down as the doubt crossed her expression.
Fuck. How do I fix this?
“Baby, you’re fine. I just…I didn’t…”

“If I’m not doing it right, just tell me. I’ll try to do better,” she said, trying to fight back the tears that threatened.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, gathering her up in his arms. “Oh baby, you were doin’ everything right. It was perfect. You’re perfect. I’m so fuckin’ sorry I made you feel that way.”

Biting her lip in uncertainty, she asked, “So what happened?”

Shaking his head, he pulled her tight against his body, relishing the feel of her flesh next to his. One large hand cupped the back of her head as he cradled her closely. “I just sometimes have…flashbacks.”

He felt her stiffen immediately.
Oh fuck.

“Flashbacks?” She pulled back to stare into his face. “Flashback like your nightmares? What kind of flashbacks?”

He was silent as his eyes implored her to just move on.

Her eyes widened in understanding as she jerked to a standing position. “Oh my God. You mean you were remembering others doing…on their knees…doing…oh my God,” she said, turning from him with her hand clasped over her mouth.

“Baby,” he began.

“No, no, don’t baby me,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I knew there were other women, you told me about it. I just had no idea that you thought of them when we were…oh my God.” With that, she grabbed her panties off the floor, pulling them up.

Shane, desperate to stop her actions grabbed her arms, holding her firmly without hurting her. “Baby don’t do this. I was not thinkin’ of other women. Yes, my mind flashed back to a darker time, but there has never been anyone who has had my heart.”

Annie crossed her arms over her chest in a protective action before walking to the dresser to pull out a t-shirt. With her back to him, she finally let the tears fall. “I can’t do this now. I can’t be with you and let myself go knowing you’re
possibly
thinking of others.” Dashing her tears from her cheeks she turned around to face him but the sad look in his blue eyes nearly undid her.

“Annie, there has never been another woman in my life that I’ve loved. No one. You are the only one to have held my heart. The only one I have ever spent the night with. The only one that I have held all through the night. The only one I want to hold. Baby, I am so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say to make this right.”

Hanging her head, she just nodded. “I don’t know either. I know I love you and your past is part of you. But somehow your past has always seemed like just that…the past. I’ve never once felt like that part of who you were crept into who we are now.”

Encouraged that she was still talking to him, he slowly moved forward until he was standing directly in front of her, without touching. He placed his fingers under her chin to lift her face up so that he could see her green eyes, bright with tears. “You are my sunshine. You are the reason I came out of the dark. You are the reason I have the desire to actually greet the real sun each morning and I know when the sun sets every evening, as long as you are with me, I’ll still have the sun shining on my face. Baby, I can’t change the past. I’ll work on controlling the flashbacks and memories. But the bottom line is this…I love you. I only love you. I have never loved anyone until you.”

As her tears slid silently down her cheeks, she felt the rough pads of his thumbs sweep them away. Taking a shaky breath that hitched painfully, she leaned her face into his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, she realized that he couldn’t change his past. Remembering all that he had given up over the past two years, she knew he needed acceptance, not her recrimination.

Shane held her head against his chest, his heart pounding in both fear that she was going to leave him, and love for this tiny woman. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

She turned her face up to his and shook her head. “I’m sorry too. I know you can’t change the past and I know you can’t help when things flash back.” Taking another shaky breath, she said, “We’ll just have to find our way.”

Breathing easy for the first time since they entered the bedroom, he held her tightly a few more minutes. “Let’s go to bed, baby. Why don’t you use the bathroom first and I’ll make sure the apartment is secure, okay?”

Crawling into bed several minutes later, they looked at each other awkwardly. Shane, taking charge said, “Come on, baby,” as he pulled her body in tightly to his. “We’ll sleep tonight. As long as we’re together, everything is gonna be fine.”

Annie felt the familiar warmth of his body surrounding hers and she drifted off to sleep quickly, the emotion of the evening having exhausted her.

Shane lay awake holding her for a long time.
I promised to protect her. But what about protecting her from myself?
Before dropping off to sleep, he decided to call the department shrink tomorrow.
I may have come in from the dark, but it still has a hold on me. No more. That shit stops.
Kissing her head one more time as he listened to her slow, rhythmic breathing, he finally slept.

T
he next several
weeks flew by as Shane and Annie found themselves busier than ever. As the holidays approached, the clinic was packed with animals that ate things they shouldn’t have eaten and worried owners. Annie’s schedule did not allow any breaks and Shane was equally busy with trying to tie up the loose ends in several cases, keep an eye out to make sure none of the major players were making bail, and trying to find an apartment. Plus talk to the department shrink.

Matt looked over at his partner, studying files on his desk. “Is it helpin’?” he asked.

Shane looked up, knowing instinctively what Matt was talking about. He had confided about the incident with Annie to him. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “Only met him a couple of times, so I don’t really know yet.” Looking away for a moment in thought, he continued, “But yeah, I guess it’s not so bad talkin’ about it.”

“How’s Annie doin’?”

Shane’s piercing glance came back to Matt’s. “In general or with my shit?”

Matt shrugged. “Both, I suppose.”

“In general, fine. Busy. She’s been puttin’ in long hours ‘cause it seems the holidays are when everyone’s pets get fuckin’ stupid, eatin’ shit they shouldn’t. I asked her about takin’ on another vet, maybe even part time, and she’s thinkin’ about it.”

The silence stretched out between the two partners. “And my shit? Better. It was a little rough the first time…well, after that night when…you know.”

“She loves you, man. She’ll deal.”

Shane swore, “That’s the problem. She shouldn’t have to fuckin’ deal.” Blowing out his breath, he rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. “I mean, we got over that hump, but I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells ever since. I hesitate to initiate anything ‘cause I’m worried that she’s worried.”

“Annie’s smart, Shane. Give her more time and you keep gettin’ help. It’ll sort itself out. How’s the apartment hunting going?”

At this Shane grinned for the first time. Matt looked at him curiously.

“I’m startin’ to look at buyin’ a house, not an apartment.”

“No shit?”

“Matt, I’m wanting to take this to forever. She’s the one and it doesn’t make any goddamn sense to beat around the bush. I’ve got a big-ass dog that needs a yard to run in. She’s got three cats that need their space too. I didn’t spend hardly any of my money for two years, plus the danger-pay I got. I banked it all and have more than enough for a down payment.”

“What does Annie think of this?”

“Well…”

“You haven’t told her? Don’t fuck this up, man.”

“I wanted to see what was out there first, then bring her on board.”

Matt smiled at his friend, nodding. “Good luck, man.”

Shane looked at his friend for a moment, his mind sliding back to what Annie had said.
“Matt is such a great guy, I hope he finds his happily ever after too.”
His sunshine was right.

*     *     *