Loving Faith (7 page)

An instant later, Matthew pulled out and Faith slumped to the ground. He was out of the kitchen before her body had stopped twitching. As she pulled herself into a sitting position, she heard low voices coming from the living room, a low male chuckle, and then the door shutting again. After a moment, Matthew appeared, a very roguish grin on his face.

“Pizza's here.” He held out a hand.

Faith took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “What's with the smile?”

“I hadn't exactly gotten my pants completely done up,” Matthew retrieved some paper plates and napkins. “So, to assure the guy that I wasn't hitting on him, I made a joke about bad porn involving a pizza delivery man, but that he was too late to fuck my girl.”

“I'm sure that's in some way vaguely insulting,” Faith rolled her eyes as she followed Matthew into the dining room. “But I'm too hungry to complain.” As she settled back into her seat, she winked at him. “Just be forewarned, I will make you pay for that later.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

Faith groaned as she leaned over the toilet, her stomach churning. She'd been a little nauseous yesterday and had chalked it up to the head-cold she was getting due to the recent drop in temperature. The last of September's warmth had given way to October's chill. Too much congestion often made her a bit nauseated, so she hadn't thought anything of it. Now it looked like she was coming down with the stomach bug that had been going around at work.

She waited a few more minutes to see if anything else was going to come up and then slowly stood. She paused for a moment, closing her eyes as she leaned against the sink. Once she was relatively certain that she wasn't going to get dizzy, she reached for her toothbrush. Only after the foul taste was gone from her mouth did she head back into her room to get her phone.

Rebecca answered on the second ring. “Good morning,
Oracle
.”

“Hey, Rebecca,” Faith winced at the croak in her voice as she headed for the kitchen. “It's Faith.”

“Oh, hi, Faith. You don't sound good.”

Leave it to the bubbly former Miss Chattanooga to state the obvious. While some former beauty queens – Madison, for example – were highly intelligent, there were always the ones who made it painfully apparent why the stereotype had been created. Rebecca Wonder was one of those. She was good with people, which was a positive trait to have in a receptionist, but everyone knew that her only qualification for the job had been that the owner of the magazine was her uncle. At least she was nice.

“I don't feel too well either,” Faith retrieved a package of crackers from the cabinet and walked into the living room. She settled on the couch before continuing. “I think I have that stomach bug that's been going around.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Rebecca sounded sympathetic. “I got that last week. I was in the bathroom every hour all day. Couldn't hold anything down.”

Faith hurried to interrupt, not wanting to hear the details of the receptionist's intestinal issues. “Great, then you know what I mean. I'm not going to be in today. I should be okay by tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you should. It was a twenty-four hour thing with me,” Rebecca apparently hadn't been phased by Faith's interruption. Not that this was a surprise to Faith. Rebecca was one of those scary-happy people who was all rainbows and puppies all the time. She was the type of person who would've been on the
Titanic
talking about how she was looking forward to meeting new people when the lifeboats came back.

“If you could just pass it along to Jake that I'll be out today, I'd appreciate it,” Faith stopped Rebecca before the gruesome details could start again. “Thanks, Rebecca. I'll see you tomorrow.” She was pressing the “end” button while Rebecca was saying good-bye.

She curled up on the couch and nibbled at the crackers she'd found, letting them soothe her rolling stomach. Her stomach began to settle and she found herself drifting off to sleep. For her, the best way to get over something was to sleep it off, so she let the darkness take her.

It was close to noon when she woke. She sat up, disoriented at first. As she sloughed off the fogginess of slumber, she took a moment to go through a physical inventory. She had a low throbbing in her head that she recognized as being from changing her sleeping pattern. It would dissipate shortly. Her mouth was dry and she took a swing from the glass of water she'd brought from the kitchen. It was tepid, but wet, and she swallowed it gratefully. She waited as the liquid settled in her stomach, but there was no protest. In fact, her stomach growled, as if demanding more than the crackers she'd originally given it. She still wasn't entirely sure that she trusted it, but it seemed safe enough for her to shower.

She was still debating between a shower and a bath when she opened her linen closet. She picked up a fluffy yellow washcloth and was reaching for a matching towel when she saw it and froze.

Quickly, she ran the numbers in her head. “Shit,” she whispered as she reached for the small blue box. She counted again, unable to take her eyes off of the box of tampons.

She was three days late.

It was impossible, but there it was, staring her in the face. She'd always been as regular as clockwork, even before her doctor had put her on birth control for severe cramps. She hadn't even missed when she'd switched pill brands last year.

Faith shook her head, all thoughts of a soothing shower gone. She had to be miscalculating. She needed to check her pills. Leaving the towel and washcloth in the closet, she headed for the bathroom. Her hands were shaking as she opened the medicine cabinet and took down the small, round compact. She took a deep breath and opened it, sure that she would be able to find her math error.

She sank down on the toilet lid, the compact gripped in numb fingers. There was no math error, no miscalculation. She was late. And she been nauseated for the past two days, but it had never lasted more than a couple of hours.

How could this be? The success rate of birth control pills had always been one of the reasons she'd stayed with them when her gynecologist had suggested other options.

She needed to know. She needed the reassurance that it was stress or illness that had caused her to be late, not anything else. Faith grabbed a jacket, threw it on over her pajamas and yanked on her boots. Thankfully, there was a small drugstore down the street from her building. It was virtually deserted at eleven on a Wednesday morning, but Faith still felt the eyes of every stranger watching her as she headed to the unfamiliar territory of pregnancy tests.

She'd been with a friend in high school when she'd gone to get one, but had never bought one for herself. In the eight years she'd been sexually active, she'd never had a pregnancy scare until now. After making her purchase, she hurried home, anxious to take the test. It would, she was positive, prove that her suspicions were wrong. She'd never wanted to be proven wrong so badly before.

A quarter of an hour later, Faith sat on the edge of the tub, staring at the little blue lines.

Impossible. She needed a second opinion.

She was shocked at how even her voice remained as she made a call. The receptionist at the doctor's office wasted no time juggling things around and told Faith to come in immediately. At first, Faith thought the concern in the woman's voice was sympathy, but the moment she entered the doctor's office and Dr. Barrister called her back, she knew this was not the case.

“You're still on Dyenzelpha?” The edge to the doctor's voice threw up a red flag.

“Yes,” Faith spoke slowly, her stomach twisting itself into new knots. “Why?”

“You were on our callback list. We received a letter two days ago, but I hadn't had an opportunity to read it until this morning,” Dr. Barrister frowned. “To give you the short version, apparently the company that manufactures Dyenzelpha has been shut down by the FDA for cutting corners.”

“What does that mean?” The blood drained from Faith's face and a wave of light-headedness washed over her. Surely he wasn't implying what she thought he was implying.

“They're recalling the drug and advising women to check with their doctors about getting on a new prescription right away and testing for any unexpected pregnancies,” Dr. Barrister regarded her seriously over the top of his glasses. “And I feel safe assuming that you're here for a test.”

Faith nodded mutely. She didn't trust herself to speak, not with so much emotion churning inside her. Part of her was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she'd cry.

“Did you already take a home one?” The doctor's voice softened.

She nodded again.

“All right,” Dr. Barrister turned towards the counter behind him and picked up a small plastic container. “Are you going to need something to drink before you can fill this?”

Faith took a shuddering breath. “No, I'm good.” Her voice wavered but she was too upset to be embarrassed. She was just thankful she was a nervous drinker rather than eater. She'd downed two bottles of water while waiting for the home test to finish. If she'd had to wait through drinking enough to take the test, she would've broken down in the office.

“There'll be a nurse waiting to take it when you're done,” Dr. Barrister handed over the container. “It won't take long.”

***

Faith wasn't entirely sure how she'd gotten home. She knew she'd driven, but she didn't remember any of it. She didn't remember walking up to her apartment, putting the key into the lock. In fact, everything was a blank from the time the doctor had given her the news until now. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost three. She needed to call her mother soon or she'd start to worry.

How could she call Mama, knowing what she knew? Could she hide something so big until she herself could process it? And if she couldn't, what then? How could she tell her mother that she was pregnant? She could picture the disappointment on Mama's face. Disappointment that she hadn't been careful enough. That Faith was going to have to put her own dreams on hold to take care of a baby.

Then there was that. Her job at
The Oracle
paid well enough for a single woman, but adding another human being into the mix changed things. She could take on other photography jobs as side-work. It was October so most senior pictures were already done and she'd missed the glut of spring and early summer weddings, but she could probably pick up a few things before her pregnancy advanced enough for her to need to take a break. Christmas pictures would be coming up soon. She wasn't due until June, so even Easter wouldn't be out of the question.

She choked back a sob as she thought about having to give up the time she now spent taking and developing artistic photos, ones that she wanted to hang in a gallery, to do traditional photography. She had no problem with people who wanted to do that, but that had never been her dream. She still remembered when she'd told Matthew about wanting to have her photographs hanging in galleries all over the world.

Matthew.

Faith buried her face in her hands and let the tears fall. How was she going to tell Matthew that she was pregnant? He'd asked her about protection that first time and she'd told him the truth. He hadn't asked since and she hadn't thought anything of it. Flings she'd always made wear a condom, but the two previous serious relationships she'd had, the pill had been enough. She'd had no reason to think that it wouldn't be this time. Would he believe her or would he think that she'd lied and hoped to get pregnant? ADAs didn't make the big money that was in the private sector, but it was more than she made. Would he think she was trying to get something from him?

And what about his ambitions? All of his plans? How would a child fit into those? They hadn't discussed kids, hadn't discussed anything relatively serious since they first exchanged the “L” word, but Faith had been fine with that. They'd exchanged keys, but it had been more of a practical thing than anything else. They were progressing and she figured that they had time before needing to discuss any of the next big steps – moving in together, marriage, children. None of that had seemed very important over the last few months and now Faith found herself facing the very real possibility of losing the man she loved.