Loving Heart (The Broken Heart Series Book 3) (7 page)

“Good morning.” I whispered.

“I bet it was.” She said as she sucked on my finger. She placed her head on my chest, trying to snuggle underneath the sheets. I held her close. I was in Heaven just holding her in my arms.

Her cell phone rang against the night table. She got up and leaned over and grabbed the phone.

Jenesis, can we meet?

Kate

She showed me the text.

“What does
she
want?” I asked sitting up.

“I don’t know, should I ask her?”

“No, we have better things to do this morning.” I said stretching my arms over my head.

“Oh, like what?” she asked curiously, batting her eyelashes at me.

“Um…no not that. I want to take a drive.” She walked over to the bathroom to brush her teeth and rinse the remnants of my seed out of her mouth.

“Where?” she mumbled.

“To Pennsylvania.”

“Why?” She walked out of the bathroom towards me and sat on the edge of the bed.

“To visit your mother’s grave and to find your Uncle Mike,” I said without smiling. I wanted her to know I was serious. I waited for a response, but she didn’t give me one. She got up from the bed and walked away.

“Where are you going?” I called out.

“I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to meet with Dr. Kate. I’m not going to Pennsylvania to visit my mother or going on a witch hunt to look for Uncle Mike. Do you think that’s going to solve the problem?”

“Jenesis, it goes deeper than Joe. I think we should investigate.” I walked towards her and she took a step back.

“Why don’t we find out a little bit more about you?” She said.

“This isn’t about me.” I said turning my back on her.

“The hell it isn’t. It’s all about
you and him
…and how you got yourself into this mess of deception. Aren’t you a bit curious as to why Dave told you that your mother claimed you weren’t his son?”

“That’s a lie!” I shouted. She practically jumped out of her skin as she held her stomach. I shook my head; my body was trembling with anger. I needed to take a deep breath and control myself. I didn’t want to yell. I didn’t want to hurt her in any way. But she was pushing it.

“Is it?” she whispered.

“Please…Don’t turn this around.” I clenched my fists and started to pace back and forth.
Breathe Michael Breathe
, I told myself.  “I know he’s my father. I had a paternity test done about ten years ago.”

“Why?”

“He slept with Dina the same time I did…she was pregnant.” She looked at me then glanced away trying to focus on the photo of our wedding that sat on top of the dresser.

“Pregnant? That drunken lunatic was pregnant from you? You didn’t use protection?” She said angrily.

“No…Dave. And yes, I did use protection. She just kept claiming I was the father so I did it to shut her up. When they did the DNA test they saw that I was a match to my father. He’s my father…there’s no denying it. I think my mother wanted to get him jealous. She paid the price for that one. She’s dead. Any other questions?” I said sarcastically. I could feel the rage starting to build inside me. It almost blinded me.

I can tell by the look on her face that she felt terrible. It hurt her to know that I slept with someone else. But, I slept with plenty of women before her. I think the word pregnant got the best of her.

“What happened to the baby?” she said softly.

“Apparently, she took a mysterious fall down a flight of concrete steps and lost it.” She took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom.

I sat on the bed pensively, thinking about the baby that was inside of her. I wanted nothing more than for her to have this baby, but just thinking about Dave pounding on top of her and moaning made me sick inside.

She grabbed her cell phone, started texting and walked over to the kitchen. She left the phone on the table and started to get dress. I walked over quietly and read her text.

I can meet you in an hour. Is everything okay?

J

I’m in a meeting right now. Yes, let’s meet, but I need an extra

hour.

Kate

No problem.

J

I heard her footsteps as she clicked her heels on the wooden floor. I turned on the Keurig and she stopped dead in her tracks.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“The sound reminded me of Dave.
You know
, the Keurig I bought him. ‘
Why don’t you love me?’ he said as he raped me.
It’s all I ever hear.” Her hands shook as she reached for a mug in the cabinet. The mug slipped through her fingers as she remembered Dave’s betrayal. She jumped back and waited for the mug to break into pieces but for some reason…it didn’t. She stood staring at the mug on the floor.

“Jenesis?” I whispered staring at her as my heart was being ripped out of my body. I hate that I let Dave torture her. Rape her. Even though I shot him, I wish I could kill him over and over.

“I was just remembering how Dave placed his hand over my mouth as he raped me.” She keeled over and fell on her knees. A new feeling of terror sent waves through my body and shocked my insides to the core.

“Jenesis?” I said as I reached for the mug to pick it up from the floor.

“I’m sorry…I’m,” The tears slowly released from her eyes and trundled down her cheeks. She started to sob hysterically into her hands. I knew she felt the excruciating pain in her heart from Dave’s vicious attack.  “How could I even think that he ever loved me? He couldn’t love anyone.” She wiped her tears and stood up.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” I held her in my arms. I placed her head against my chest. I could tell she felt the baby moving inside of her. She felt uncomfortable and squirmed her way out of my embrace.

“I love this baby so much. Sometimes, I don’t even want to sneeze the wrong way in fear that I would hurt…or lose him.” She grabbed a tissue from the counter. “I’m going to meet with Kate.” she sniveled.

“Do you want me to go with you?” I asked as I leaned in to kiss her nose. She pulled away.

“No,” She said hesitantly. “I need to have girl talk. I miss that. I miss Tilly and Margaret. Especially, Margaret. How did this happen to us? How?”  She placed her face in her hands and cried some more.

“Go. Go and have some girl time. Just don’t let her get you upset. You have me to do that for you.” I smiled then kissed her tears gently from her cheeks. She let me and I loved her for that. There was no other way for me to comfort her. I had to take it slow but it was slowly killing me. “I love you.” I whispered in her ear. I could feel her body shudder. It felt good to know I still had that effect on her.  “Now, I’m going into work. I have a court case at two thirty. Do you want to take the car?”

“No, I’ll cab it.” she said anxiously.

“Be careful. Take care of
my baby
.” I pushed the words out of my mouth, but, I meant it.
I really did.
I wanted the baby to be mine. Just the thought of it made my heart fill with joy. Just the thought of him on top of her made my heart heavy. I don’t think I can accept what’s happened. I’m afraid. Afraid of the truth. Afraid of never being able to accept the baby if it’s Dave's.
NEVER.

                    Jenesis     Chapter 6

I thought about what Michael said.
‘My baby’
, that’s all I needed to hear. I smiled internally because it felt so good to hear him say those words, my baby, our baby. I didn’t want to doubt that the baby was his, but in the back of my mind, that tiny piece of my heart still had an attachment to Dave, no matter what he did to me, I couldn’t get him out of my head.
It was like his spirit was next to me, haunting me and where ever I went; I couldn’t get his face, his voice, his words, his love, or his hate…away from me.

I grabbed my purse and hailed a cab to see Kate at her office. The cab stopped short in front of me and I entered sliding my way across the back seat. I placed my purse on the seat when I heard the sweet melody of violins reach through my ears. It’s been such a long time since I listened to the strings of the violin. I sat back and leaned my head against the door. My eyes teared up as I remembered walking through the church doors hearing the opera
Thais
by Massenet in lieu of the traditional wedding song.  He remembered…Dave. My heart was pounding as I remembered him walking me down the aisle towards Michael. The memory sent a chill down my spine and made my baby move inside of me. I gently placed my hand on my stomach and looked down, wondering who the baby would look like.  I was so confused. I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life. Then, I thought about what my mother and Joe did to me. I stared out of the window as the tears finally skidded down my cheeks.  I remembered everything about my wedding, even dancing with Dave.
He was my hero, my father. I loved him so much. I never thought he would hurt me, but I was wrong, so wrong.
I cried until the cab driver turned around and handed me a tissue.

“Miss, are you ok?” he asked.

“No.” I whimpered.

“Whatever it is, it’s going to get better.” he smiled at me and I cried even more. He pulled the cab over into a parking spot.

“What are you doing?” I asked nervously.

“Look, you’re hurting right now and I need a ten-minute break. I’m thirsty. I’m getting a ginger ale. Do you want one?” he asked politely.

“Yes, thank you.” he opened the cab door and walked into the corner store. I waited and then I opened my door and walked hurriedly down the street. My stomach was wincing and I was panicking. I didn’t trust the cab driver and I was scared. I took out my cell phone from my purse and called Michael.

“Michael?”

“Jenesis, what’s wrong? What happened?” he asked anxiously.

“I was in a cab and he stopped to buy something and I got out and I left without paying and…” I rambled on like a mad woman, talking without catching my breath and perusing the crowd as if I were being chased.

“Jenesis, slow down baby, what’s going on?”

“I’m in the middle of the sidewalk and I’m scared, Michael, please come and get me…hurry.” I became disoriented. My vision was blurry and my heart was racing rapidly. I didn’t know where I was at, and I couldn’t give him directions to come and get me. The cab driver spotted me and pulled over.

“Hey, what happened? You owe me money!” he shouted through the passenger window.

“I know…hold on.” I rummaged through my purse to find my wallet. I was so nervous I couldn’t think straight. My cell phone was ringing and I dropped it on the sidewalk and the glass shattered into pieces. I quickly picked it up, answered the call and threw a twenty-dollar bill at the cab driver and started screaming.

“Michael! Michael! Hurry! Please come and get me!” I cut my finger sliding it against the broken glass of the phone to answer the call.

“Jenesis, where are you, baby? Where are you?” I glanced up at the street sign, my vision cloudy by the burning tears in my eyes.

“East End Avenue.” I looked at the cross street, my vision blinded by my tears “79
th
street, across from a supermarket, near the water.” my voice trembled and then I couldn’t say another word.

“Miss…Miss…do you want me to help you? Miss.” I felt faint and I couldn’t stand. “Here, sit, here. Do you want me to call an ambulance?” I gazed into his eyes. I couldn’t take another step. I was exhausted just from being stressed out. He sat me in the front passenger seat and left the door open. “Are you okay? Miss. I’m sorry I shouted at you.” he handed me the twenty-dollar bill and a tissue for my bloody finger and knelt in front of me. “Is someone coming for you?” I opened my eyes and gawked at the cab driver blankly.

“Yes, my husband will be here.” I looked around as my heart pounded against my chest. Then, I heard tires screeching at the other end of the street. I saw Michael’s truck making a U-turn and stopping near the cab. Michael ran out of the truck and walked towards me.

“Jenesis, are you okay? Is the baby ok? Jenesis?”  He reached out for me and I fell into his arms.

“I’m scared Michael. I need to see Dr. Logan…now, please.” I whispered in his ear.

“You’re bleeding?” he whispered. His face grew pale and I immediately saw the panic in his eyes. “Where? Where are you bleeding from?” I swallowed hard and looked down at my finger. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. I knew he thought the blood had something to do with the baby. He seemed relieved as the blood quickly rushed back to his face, giving him a slight shade of pink on his cheeks. “We’ll go and see her. We’ll see if she can see us now.” he said softly. He kissed my forehead and paid the cab driver and shook his hand.  He held me by the waist, then lifted me underneath my knees and carried me into the truck.