Loving, Living, Party Going (27 page)

'The whole thing'th too dithtathteful,' Raunce quoted. ' 'Ere I can't get my tongue round it. Dithtasteful,' he tried again. 'No that won't do.' In a moment most of them were attempting this.

'Detethtable,' he shouted out into the hubbub then doubled up with laughter.

'Hush dear they'll hear you,' Edith giggled.

'And what do I care?' he asked. 'Now if you'd said "Huth" I might've harkened. But detethtable's right. It is detestable and distasteful if you like, to have been put through what we've been as if we were criminals,' he said.

'What d'you mean Mr Raunce?' Mary asked.

'Why over this ring she mislaid. Had an investigator sent down and all she did,' he explained. 'Got hold of my lad here then drove 'im half out of his mind with the cunning queries he put till there was Bert sayin' the first thing that came into 'is head. Proper upset you didn't he?' Raunce said to the boy who kept quiet. 'No, but it's wrong,' Raunce told the others, 'it didn't ought to be allowed. Why matters went so far he got 'im talkin' of joining up to get killed. There you are. Not but what we'd all be better off over on the other side.'

'Charley,' Edith called as though he had turned his back on her.

'Upset me too that merchant did. There's been something wrong with my interior from that day to this. I can't seem able to digest my food.'

'You want to take care,' Jane chipped in solicitous. 'Now if I was to put you together a nice bowl of hot broth,' she suggested.

'Thank you,' Raunce replied lordly. 'Thank you but I'd best give my economy a half holiday. It's me dyspepsia,' he explained. 'Dythpepthia,' he added gay on a sudden.

'Don't be disgusting,' Edith reproved him. 'And I'll do all the looking after you need,' she said glancing jealous at Jane.

Kate began to blush deeply.

'Holy Motheth,' Raunce crowed, 'now see what you've been and done Edie. You've set our Kate goin'.'

'Things is getting out of hand if you ask me.' Edith remarked. She looked desperate. At that Kate rose, left the room absolutely scarlet.

'Why whatever's the matter with her then?' Mary asked but if Charley was about to reply he never managed it because he was taken by a violent fit of coughing. Edith went to his side. A volley of suggestions was directed at him. Only Albert sat back apart.

'I choked,' he excused himself when he had recovered. 'I don't feel very grand. But you'll agree it's not good enough. It's not right this cross questionin'. Men entering the house without leave and then every sort and kind of question asked. I know she lost a valuable,' he went on, 'but it was not worth that much, couldn't have been, or she would never have gone over to England.' Then he corrected himself. 'Well I don't know,' he said. 'It's a fact Jack had his week's leave right enough but that's not to say she should permit this individual to come nosing round. Conditions are bad enough as it is with all the buzzes and rumours over the invasion,' and all this time the others listened to Raunce with deference, 'not to mention talk of the I.R.A. Because we're at the mercy of any 'ooligan, German or Irish, situated as we are. With Mrs Tennant away we've no influence none whatever.' He paused to couch, not so violently. 'For two pins I'd throw the place up. And one reason is I got a feelin' I'm not appreciated. My work I mean.'

'I don't suppose she was in a position to help herself,' Edith pointed out reasonably. 'Once she claimed on her insurance it would be a thing the company in Dublin would do in the ordinary run, to send down and investigate.'

'I'm not disputing that,' Raunce countered, 'but what I say is Mrs T. should've been here to receive 'im. We're plain honest folk we are. This is not the first position of trust we've held down. We've come out of our places with a good reference each time or she would never have engaged us. No,' he insisted with authority, 'there's a right and a wrong way to go about matters of this sort. There you are, it's 'ighly dithtrething,' he ended as though, having noticed
Edith's expression, he now intended to turn all this off into a joke. If that was his intention it was immediately successful. Like a class at school when given the signal to break up they all with one accord burst out lisping, with the exception of Raunce's Albert. In no time their hilarity had grown until each effort was received with shrieks, Edith's this time amongst the loudest.

Charley began to laugh unrestrained as he held his side which seemed to pain him. Yet he let himself go.

'There'th a tanner in thith for you altho,' he shouted to Edith above the din, quoting her description of Mike Mathewson's proceedings.

'Thankth thon,' she called back. He doubled up again.

'Well thith evening'th a big differenth I mutht thay,' Jane shrieked to Mary. 'Not what we uthually have to look forward to duckth, ith it?' she yelled. At this Kate who had slipped back again began to laugh so much she dribbled. 'Mith Burthch,' she squealed, 'Mitheth Welcheth,' Mary screamed, 'oh Burcheth Welhech,' Raunce echoed and pandemonium reigned. But in his convulsions of laughter Charley was noticeably paler even. For the past fortnight he had been looking very ill. 'Landth thakes Mith Thwift,' howled Edith. By now everyone bar Albert was crying. All wore a look of agony, or as though they were in a close finish to a race over a hundred yards. 'Jethuth,' Raunce moaned.

'Hush dear,' Edith said at once. 'That's not comical dear,' and they began to sober down.

'Moses,' he corrected himself.

'There,' Jane announced between gasps, 'I feel like I'd been emptied.'

'What of duckth?' Kate asked and there blew up another gust of giggling. 'Oh me,' someone remarked weak. 'It's my side,' another said. Then they quietened.

'Well nobody can say we don't have our fun on occasions,' Edith made comment as she dabbed at her great eyes.

'It'd be all right if we was like this every night,' Jane murmured.

'Oh it's not so bad after all.'

'I don't know Edith,' Mary answered. 'You've not got Mrs Welch although I shouldn't mention names.'

'We ain't got her Albert,' Raunce put in.

'It's not him so much,' Jane explained. 'He's well enough conducted indoors in the kitchen,' she said. 'It's Mrs Welch is the matter. Oh I know I shouldn't but she drinks. All the time she drinks. She's only gone in to Dublin to get another crate. She's like the wells, she's runnin' dry. There you are. That's right isn't it Mary or isn't it?'

'It's the honest truth,' Mary said.

'Go on,' Raunce objected, 'but then 'ow does she get the stuff delivered will you oblige me with that? Because I don't need to tell you she's not drawin' a drop out of my cellar. I don't hold with this fiddling like you'll come across in some households.'

'Why,' Jane disclosed in a hushed voice, 'it's the tradesmen. You know she won't 'ave one of us pass the time of day with 'em even. Well you'd never guess what's behind it. I tell you they drop a case of the stuff with the meat and another with the groceries. And the price all included in the monthly books, isn't that so Mary?'

'That's right,' this girl replied.

'The artful old cow,' Raunce exclaimed.

'Charley,' Edith said firm.

'Pardon I'm sure,' he answered gravely, 'but did you ever hear anything to touch this? Fiddlin' 'er monthly books. No. You know that's serious this is.' He was solemn.

'You're tellin' me,' Kate muttered.

'What?' he asked at once and sharp. 'Bless me my gel but you seem to grow more and more sarky every day which passes. What's come over you?'

'Nothin' Mr Raunce.'

'You let her be, Charley,' Edith reproved him. 'She was only agreein'.'

'No offence intended I'm sure,' he assured her. 'But is that what Mrs Welch is up to? Would you believe it?' he enquired of all and sundry in an astounded tone of voice.

'The wickedness there is in this world,' Mary said.

'The wickedness?' he asked gentle but with a sharp look.

'Because that's thievin' that is,' Jane concluded like a little girl put through her catechism.

'You've said it,' Raunce agreed and relaxed. It had plainly been the right answer. 'That's the very word.' Then he quoted Miss Burch
with solemnity. 'And the wicked shall flourish even as a green bay tree,' he intoned. Everyone bar Albert seemed to approve.

A few days afterwards Edith entered Charley's room as she was coming on her way from tea in the servants' hall.

'Come on out and feed the peacockth,' she proposed, for Paddy had at last consented to free these birds again. She waved a bag she had filled with scraps.

'Steady,' he replied. 'That's no light matter.'

'Why what's up Charley?'

'Nothing,' he answered.

'I know there is,' she said.

'I'm not right,' he went on. 'I vomited this morning another time.'

'Oh dear that's bad,' she said lightly.

'I shouldn't wonder if you made fun of this as you've done before but I love you so much my stomach's all upset an' there you are.'

'So it should be,' she countered as though determined not to worry.

'Yes but what's to be the end?' he asked low. 'I can't go on the way I am. I'm in bad shape. Honest, dear.'

'You wait till we're married love. I'll take care you're never sick then.'

'Oh the worry of it all,' he broke out.

'Now just you come along with me,' she said. 'Getting out in the air for a while will do you more good than any other thing.'

'I've no time.'

'No time Charley? How's that?'

'I must lay the dinner dear. Now my Albert's left, everything falls back on me you know.'

'But surely you've never forgotten how they're over to Clancarty for dinner with the Captain. Why you've a free evenin'.'

'There I go again,' he said bewildered. 'It had clean slipped my memory. Well perhaps I will at that.'

'That's right Charley,' she coaxed as she took his arm. She laid her body up against his shoulder. We'll sit us down by the old dovecote so you can rest. It will do you ever such a lot of good you'll see.'

When they were established there after she had conducted him as
though he was an old man and he had sat himself down heavily he remarked,

'It come as a big shock to me my Albert leavin' the way he did.'

'But you knew he'd given in his notice love,' she objected.

'Of course I knew,' he replied querulous, 'but I never thought he meant to go, any more than Mrs Tennant took it that he did. As she told me.'

'I can't say I considered it was other than talk,' she agreed.

'To walk in just like that an' say look my month's up I must be off the way he did. I never guessed that bloodless abortion 'ad the guts,' he said with a return to his old manner.

'You never could abide him could you?' she remarked.

'That dam kid's attitude was what got my goat,' Mr Raunce explained. 'The high falutin' love he laid claim to, the suffering looks he darted, 'is faintin' snotty ways.'

Edith gave a single deep laugh.

'Yes go on and laugh,' Raunce said.

'No you made yourself awkward with that lad.'

'That's as may be,' he answered and seemed despondent. 'Yet there's only the one method to learn them kids a trade. It's no earthly good kissin' 'em as you did.'

'Me?' she cried. 'I never.'

'You did that and in front of the investigator johnny into the bargain.'

'Oh well,' she said.

'Have it your own way,' he replied. He relapsed into silence.

'What is it dear?' she asked.

'I'm worried,' he answered.

'What's worrying you then?'

'Nothing.'

'It's not about the old ring any more is it?' she enquired.

'Well Albert's goin' did set 'er mind on it once again. Seems that she'd told him she couldn't accept his notice while he was under suspicion, or so she made out to me. I thought we'd better make an end to that talk. "Look Madam," I said to her, "you can't deny you have the ring back so where's the evidence," I said. She says to me, "But it's what I suspect Raunce, that's where the shoe pinches," or some such phrase. "I can't guarantee it won't happen a second time
Madam," I told her, "an' if anything should, then you report it to me Madam an' I'll see you don't have any more trouble. There's things I didn't know then that I know now," I says. "I see Raunce," she said. "Then you don't wish for me to do another thing and I can sleep quiet into the bargain?" "You silly old cow you can do just that," I said to her only I didn't.'

'Charley that's not very nice,' Edith objected.

'But we've 'ad about enough surely? There's more going on in the world these days than a little crazy bastard of a cook's nephew having the laugh on us. Secreted it right here too didn't he? I shouldn't mind if I never set eyes on these blasted white pigeons again,' he ended.

'Why,' she said, 'your pain you've got's upset you.'

'You're dead right it has,' he replied.

'You don't benefit by your night's rest,' she went on.

He appeared to warm to this description of his symptoms. 'That's exactly it,' he agreed. 'I sometimes just seem to do nothin' but turn over.'

'And d'you always think of me?' she asked taking tighter hold of the arm she had hung on to.

'You bet I do,' he answered. 'More'n you ever realize.'

'That's right,' she said, 'then you won't come by much harm.'

'I do love you Edie.'

'Do you?'

'D'you know I sometimes wonder if the air in these parts hadn't a lot to do with my stomach,' he began again. 'I couldn't say if it's too weak or too strong but there's something about these sea breezes might be harmful to a delicate constitution. What d'you say?' He was dead serious.

'No that's good for you.'

'Then what d'you reckon can be the matter with me Edie?'

It was plain she was not worried. 'D'you think Mrs Welch is slipping a pinch of something in your food?' she asked maliciously, hardly paying attention.

'I wouldn't put that past her,' he replied. 'But she's too set on keepin' young Albert over on this side of the water to start a game like it. Why if I had proof I'd choke the life out of 'er by pokin' a peacock down that great gullet she has.' Edith laughed. 'I would straight,' he assured her in a strong voice. 'And that's a death would
be too good for the woman, the diabolical mason.'