Loving the Candidate (Capitol Affairs #2) (9 page)

“You are amazing, Prudence Jude Romaine Conrad. Get your ass out there and go to your man. Don’t make me put on that dress and do it myself.”

Veena and Prudy stood there ready and looking beautiful. My dad, his family, and Beulah would meet us at the convention. I needed Veena for support so I’d asked her to ride over with me.

Alex had arranged for a car to pick me up, along with my entourage of six. The closer we drove to the center, the more my anxiety rose. Sitting with my family in the audience, I held my breath and looked out at a sea of blue CONRAD signs waving back and forth. The crowd loved him. Alex entered from backstage, cleared his throat, and began to speak. A hush ran through the once-cheering crowd and I mouthed the majority of his speech along with him. As he neared the end of his speech, his campaign song faded on in the distance. Goosebumps erupted over my skin. This was his first speech on the road to political greatness. This keynote speech changed everything. My legs shook slightly as I walked out on stage to meet him. There we shared a media-friendly, and more importantly, family-friendly, kiss, as he waved to the crowd.

I stood next to him as he waved. I considered this my first taste of being first lady, and I loved it. I was pumped. I was ready. I wanted this election to wrap up so we could work on securing Alex’s nomination. He had shown that he was a true politician, and I had never been so proud of him. For the second time we stood together on stage as a couple. Waving to America, our arms wrapped around one another, I was sure our true love had to be radiating over the airwaves for the nation to see. We were not other political couples. We were us. We were the real deal and they could see it.

Alex gripped my waist tighter, leaning down to my ear.

“Baby, you are fucking hot. I caught a glimpse of you from the stage and got hard,” he whispered through his politician’s grin.

“Should I grab you right now? Give you a little feel down? Show them how young and in love we are?” I laughed as he kissed me.

“You better feel me down tonight when we get out of here. I can’t wait to get you out of that dress and see what’s waiting for me under it,”

“It’s all yours, baby.” We waved and smiled through the rest of his song. I was the happiest woman in the world.

Chapter 9

I wanted to get back to the hotel and have my way with Alex, but I had to leave him to take care of his political duties. Instead, Thomas took me back to my room. Alex had insisted on an escort, although all I wanted to do was unwind. I had a night of hot sex ahead of me. I didn’t need a babysitter.

Wearing my big, fluffy robe, courtesy of the hotel, I waited on my Alex while watching the news with Thomas. Neither of us stayed awake long. I caught myself snoring and jumped up once. Sleep eventually won and I couldn’t fight it.

“Hey, baby,” said Alex. I was asleep slumped over in the chair and he picked me up. Thomas had evidently left.

“I tried to get out of there, but it took longer than I expected. You’re so beautiful when you’re asleep.”

I smelled more than wine on his breath.

I snuggled close to him and melted into his body. He held me tight in his arms, tighter than he usually did.

“What’s wrong?” He should have been on top of the world.

He nuzzled his face into my neck and sighed.

“Alex, talk to me. What’s wrong with you?” I said, bringing his face up to mine. The room was dark, but his face was tense and lined in the lights seeping through the blinds of our hotel. I was desperate for him to tell me. I wanted to keep prodding him with questions.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing, really.”

“What’s bothering you tonight?” I started getting upset. I tried studying his face in the dim light of the room.

“Something may come out about me,” he said, not looking up at me. My heart sank and I was suddenly wide-awake.

“What things, Alex? You haven’t been yourself since you flew home a couple of weeks ago.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Promise you won’t leave me, no matter what.”

“You’re scaring me. Tell me, Alex. You can’t say something like that and not explain.” I let go of him and sat up in bed.

“I will, but not tonight. I don’t want to ruin this night. Let me love you without anything different between us. It has nothing to do with a woman, I promise.”

He pulled my head down to meet his. I was terrified. It had to be guilt, and the guilt had to be because of another woman. What else could it be?

“Is this going to end us, or hurt your chance of running for president?” I asked seriously.

“End us? No. Hurt my presidential campaign? Possibly, if it comes out.” He looked away.

“Alex, I can handle it.” I hoped. I grabbed his arm. “I won’t sleep tonight if you don’t tell me. Please. It’s me, Alex. Tell me.”

“I’m sure I need a shower,” he said, as he ran his fingers through my hair and started to get up off the bed.

“No, you smell wonderful. Just like my Alex. Don’t change the subject.” I grabbed his arm to keep him on the bed.

“Just know I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he said, as he lifted my chin to gaze into my eyes.

“Alex, tell me, for Christ’s sake.”

“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I should. I’m not who you think I am.”

Chapter 10

His shaking body tightened in my arms.

“Talk to me, baby. This is me. ” The thought of another woman was my worst fear, and I had to prepare. Things would be happening and women, I was sure, would be coming out of the woodwork.

“Remember when I told you my parents died? My dad first and my mom second?”

“Yes, I remember. Why?” Thank God he wasn’t mentioning a woman.

“When I told you I wasn’t sure we would go anywhere, and I didn’t think we would be in the situation we’re in.”

“Okay. So, they didn’t die?”

He whispered. “I wasn’t born a Conrad. I didn’t live with them until I was around seven years old.”

“Were you adopted?” I asked, snuggling closer to him as I unbuttoned his dress shirt. He nodded.

“I don’t know how I remember, but I was in constant fear every minute of the day. Nothing was happy. I was always hungry and dirty. There was always screaming and chaos. I remember being scared to death of my father.” He hesitated

“Talk to me, baby. I want to hear about it.”

“I was hurt all the time. Physically hurt. My dad was abusive and as far back as I could remember he beat me. Not just a spank or a slap, he did vicious things to me. If I got out of line during the week, he would save it up for my weekly Friday night beating with a coat hanger. The more I had done something he thought was wrong, the harder the beating would be.”

I snuggled close to him, not interrupting his story.

“My mom became sick fast and died when I was a very small boy. I don’t know how she died and I don’t remember anything about her. My dad hooked up with some woman he met at the local bar. He moved her in and she took care of me while my father worked odd jobs. He mostly sat around and drank. This new woman would tell me she hated me, and if it weren’t for me they would be living in Arizona. I don’t know what that was about. Her name was Marla and she would hurt me to take out her frustrations when my dad wasn’t home. He beat her, too, and when he did, she beat me. When I was old enough to go to school, I would be dirty, hungry and beaten up. They knew not to make my bruises visible at first. The only real meal I ate was the one the school provided for me at lunch. I was so skinny.”

I could not believe what I was hearing. He had lived my life, almost. I wasn’t beaten, but I’d lived with the same fear, hunger, and filth.

“I remember my stepmother taking her cigarette and burning my palms when I pissed her off. I could be in the bathroom when she needed to use it and she would go into a tirade. Then, at night, she would tell my dad how bad I was and he would put it on the list for my Friday beating. The Friday beatings were so bad. One of them could last all night, depending on how much my dad would drink. He would hit me with a coat hanger or belt until his arm got tired and then rest for a while and start up again. When I would go to school the teacher would get angry with me if I couldn’t hold my pencil. My palms were a mess. You can still make out the scars.”

He held his hands to my face and I sat up to turn on the bedside light. Very faint round puckered marks were on his palms. I had noticed them a few times, but never thought they were from something like that. I kissed each one. My poor baby. I didn’t want to say anything that would keep him from telling me what he needed to say.

“When they noticed my burns at school and asked about them, I finally got brave enough and told them why. I was taken into Child Protective Services and eventually put in foster care. My dad never came to get me. He never went to court to fight for me, and I never heard from him again. I have no idea what happened to him or Marla. I think she was pregnant when I left, but I don’t know if she had the baby or not.”

He paused, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Say something, Prudence.”

My stomach knotted. How could he have been hurt like that and still come out of it so together? “It’s a lot to take it in, Alex.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt his pain. “I guess we’re more alike than we thought. Maybe that is part of our connection?”

“Are you upset I didn’t tell you sooner?” He snuggled closer and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner. I lived almost the same life and wasn’t comfortable telling you all the horrific things I had been through. If I had known you went through the same, I could have opened up to you more. You could have told me so many times. Why now?”

“Sometimes I don’t think about it. You have to remember, Prudence, I haven’t been close to anyone, until you. I don’t like to blurt out my deep dark secrets to anyone. You and Mark are the two people in my life I can trust. I know I should have told you before but I didn’t want you to lose the image of me as the big powerful senator. I didn’t want you to see me as weak or vulnerable. I wanted to take care of you, not have you take care of me. That’s why when your grandmother asked me to come and get you away from your mom, I felt this need to help. It bothered me to know you lived like that. I also didn’t want you to run or think I’m not the man I am.”

I held him closer. I wanted to do nothing but comfort him. “I wouldn’t have run, not a chance. How did you become a Conrad?

“They were my foster parents for a couple of years. I owe them so much. They put so much time and energy into caring for me. Three times a week they took me to therapy. I was enrolled in Catholic school and baptized a Catholic because of them. I fell in love with them as much as they did with me. I had an amazing childhood with them and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I don’t want anything from my past coming out. I don’t know where my dad and Marla are, or if they had any other children. I never wanted to find out because I don’t care. What they did to me was a nightmare no child should ever live through. I’ve blocked them out of my head for so long, but I don’t know. It hit me tonight while I was standing up there.”

“How will this not come out when you run for president?”

“I’m praying it doesn’t. It didn’t come out when I ran for Senate, so I’m hoping it will remain hidden.”

He was right. Nothing negative had come out about Alex when I worked on his campaign.

“Did you ever tell Stella or Jade?”

“No, no one knows this but you. I debated on whether to tell Mark, but I think I’ll leave it unless it comes out. I don’t want to stress him out. It doesn’t take much. You are the one person I can trust, Prudence.”

I lifted his face to mine. I loved him so much and couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. “Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry. I hate that this wonderful day turned sad. You should have told me sooner.”

We lay in each other’s arms in the darkness of our secrets and I was even closer to him at that moment. He was still my Alex, no matter what. Though he told me he had been born another person, to me he was Alex with the same heartbeat and the same soul.

“Why so quiet, baby? What are you thinking?”

“This is a lot to take in, Alex. I think I’m in shock.” I wanted him to know he could tell me anything, and I would be right there by his side but I still had to work through it.

“Sometimes I wonder, Prudence, what type of man would I have been if I had never gone to live with the Conrads? Would I be the same person? Would I have been a senator, or the man I am? Would I have become a ruthless drunk like my father? It haunts me all the time.”

He cried silently, and the tears dripped down his face and onto me. My poor baby, such a powerful politician, yet, in my arms such a little boy holding me tight.

“I was lonely until I met you. When the Conrads died, I had no one for years. I threw myself into my career and connected with a woman now and then to fill my lonely nights.”

Since the light by the bed was still on, I sat up to look into his eyes. He looked so desolate, so broken. His eyes, usually so alive and full of love, were blank and sad.

“You don’t see the mess I am inside. No one has seen it. I’ve done everything I could to hide it over the years to get where I am. I just don’t want anyone to know the horror I went through and think I’m a weak liar, but I’m afraid one day it will all hit me and I’ll fall apart.”

He ran his hand up and down my back.

“You are such a strong man, Alex. You’ve gotten this far after such adversity. How easy it would’ve been for you to let this take over your life and give up, but you used it to become who you are. I’m so proud of you. I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right now.”

He kissed me and pushed me down on the bed. I reached up and grabbed his beautiful, wavy black hair. I could still taste the vodka on his tongue.

“Yum,” I said as he worked his way down my neck and shoulders, kissing and biting me softly. “I love when you haven’t showered.” I inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma of sweat and cologne. “I crave you, Alex. You are mine no matter what.”