Loving War (23 page)

Chapter 23

KODE

“Have you talked to her?” Dale asks while sitting down beside me in the back of the enormous church. It wasn’t too long ago we were here for Thomas Colton.

With the amount of people here, the chapels just don’t have the necessary seating. But this massive church was built with the town, so it has become the rock for a lot of people in times like this.

“Not much. She’s been staying with Eleanor for the past couple of days, and she hasn’t really been in a talking mood.”

I try not to let anyone see how fucking stressed out I am. Tria is shutting me out, and I don’t know whether to let her or stop her. I’ve always sucked at this sort of thing, and since she’s been at her Mom’s, I haven’t really had the chance to see her. I should be doing something, but I’m clueless as to what.

This is yet another suit I won’t be able to wear again. Once they’ve been tainted by a funeral, they go into the discard pile. I don’t want those memories burned into the threads I wear. Especially this one.

Rain and Dane walk in from a door at the front of the church, emerging from a private room where the immediate family has been stashed. He’s holding her hand, and she’s looking over her shoulder at Eleanor who is clutching the hands of both of her sisters. Her eyes are rimmed red, swollen, and full of tears. I guess she hated him a lot less than she loved him.

But my eyes move away from her when I see the girl with her head bowed, her face clean with no tears. She’s staring at her hands as she walks behind everyone, not bothering to make eye contact with a single person.

My eyes never stray, and she sits beside one of her aunts near the front as the minister moves behind the podium to speak. Seeing her look so broken and alone is too much.

“Fuck this,” I mumble before getting up.

With long strides, I abandon my cousins and round the back of the church to move toward the girl who has no one holding her hand right now—the girl too afraid to cry on someone’s shoulder.

Eyes fall on me from all around as I move into the pew, and Tria’s tired gaze meets mine. Her hazel eyes go wide in her face, but then her look softens as I sit beside her and put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her to me before kissing her softly on her head.

It’s like something inside her snaps, and she buries her face in my chest as her body starts shaking. Silent sobs wrack her body, and I pull her to be almost in my lap, wrapping her up in both arms as the minister continues to praise the life of the man who destroyed his family.

“I’ve got you, Tria,” I whisper softly.

She fists a handful of my shirt as she weeps against me, and I continue to rub soothing patterns on her back. Eleanor looks over with glassy eyes, noticing her child’s pain for what seems to be the first time, and her tears start falling harder before she mouths, “
thank you,
” to me.

But when my gaze meets a set of cold green eyes, I realize this day is going to get dramatic. Dane is staring at me with a murderous glare and a clenched jaw, looking every bit ready to punch me in the face.

Rain’s eyes are wide in shock, her mouth slightly open in disbelief. I’ll deal with them when I have to. This is about Tria right now. Not them.

My eyes go back down as Tria clings to me, and I do all I can to make it easier. For the first time in my life, it’s not hard to comfort someone. My movements aren’t forced or awkward. I’m not looking for a way to escape. This is exactly where I want to be right now.

By the end of the service, Tria’s sobs have gentled, and she’s leaning against me as the minister carries on. She threads her fingers through mine with one hand, keeping it in her lap. I use the arm wrapped around her to run my fingers through the soft strands of her hair, trying to relax her any way that I can.

As the service wraps up, I stand with Tria, keeping her hand in mine, and lead her through the church. We stop as people try to offer their condolences, and I wait, never letting go of her hand the entire time.

When we finally reach the outside, my arm slides back around her shoulders, and I tuck her against my body. “I’ll drive you to the cemetery.”

She looks up with her sad eyes that have me wishing I could do so much more.

“Thank you,” she says hoarsely, swallowing back another sob.

After opening the door for her and helping her in, I make my way around to the driver’s side. My eyes catch Dane’s cold glare, but I don’t acknowledge it past that.

Tria’s hand finds mine the second I’m in the car. I only let go to shift gears, but I keep taking her hand back in mine in between shifts as we follow the line behind the Hearse to the graveyard.

When we get there, she waits on me to open the door, but Dane is right behind me, calling my name loudly at the wrong time.

“Don’t go,” Tria says, casting a hard look toward the man everyone adores. “He shouldn’t be doing this right now.”

Rain is tugging on Dane’s arm, probably telling him to cool down. Neither girl knows the extent of our issues, so they don’t understand why he’s so pissed. Unfortunately, I get it. Now.

“Just let me tell him to shut up,” I say softly, kissing her head before making my way toward my fuming brother.

Several others pass by me as I backtrack, and Dane shrugs Rain off as he storms toward me.

“How long have you been scheming this bullshit up?” he growls, drawing a few gasps and head-turns.

“Dane!” Rain hisses, grabbing his arm again and trying to pull him back.

“Later, Dane. Not here. Not now. Your girl might not need you right now, because she didn’t love that asshole. But my girl does need me. You can say whatever you want later.”

His brow furrows, as if he’s confused, and I walk away to rejoin Tria. My arm immediately goes around her shoulders, and I bite back a grin when she flips Dane off. Apparently she doesn’t find him so perfect in this moment.

***

TRIA

I don’t know what Kode and Dane said to each other, but I can guess. I can’t believe Dane would do this right now. Here of all places.

Even though I was trying so hard not to fall apart, I was already on the verge of a breakdown when suddenly Kode was right there, pulling me to him like he knew I needed him. I’ve never been so grateful for anything in all my life.

I never wanted to lose it in front of him, but I couldn’t help it. It was too much, and he held me to him like he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Kode was the only one who knew I was hurting.

Dane saw me in that church. He knows I broke. Yet he wants to accost his brother in the middle of the graveyard for being a damn good person, just because he thinks it has something to do with Rain.

“I’ve got you,” Kode says against my temple as we reach the rest of the crowd. His lips brush my head gently, and I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn’t hesitate to return the embrace, and I hold him as my tears slip free.

The gentle patterns he rubs on my back are soothing and comforting as the casket slowly lowers into the ground, burying the two fathers I knew—the one who loved me, and the coward who ran away.

Dane looks our way, but his expression has changed. He doesn’t look like he’s ready to kill Kode right now. I’m sure I shocked him by giving him the bird in the middle of the graveyard, but he was pissing me off.

Maybe Kode has rubbed off on me more than I realized.

That thought has me smiling ever so slightly for the first time since I heard about my father’s death.

Aunt Melanie hands me a rose, and I lean away from Kode as I slowly take it and make my way toward the grave. Rain drops hers in with a sad look, but there are no tears. I’ve already reached the point of not caring how messy my sobs have gotten. So I don’t bother wiping the few tears that fall when I drop in my own rose.

Mom moves toward the grave as I walk back toward Kode. I turn around when I reach him, and he wraps both arms around me and tugs my back flush against his front. I watch with a fractured heart as Mom breaks, her tears bursting free as she shakes with her sobs.

“You son of a bitch!” she yells, dropping to her knees.

Kode moves with me, and my aunts reach her just as I do. Kode helps her back to her feet, and she turns in his arms to sob against his chest. He looks uneasy and uncomfortable while he tries to console her. Just minutes ago he was soothing me with effortless ease.

Dane comes over, and Mom turns to grab him, gripping the lapels of his suit coat while burrowing her face into his chest. Kode looks relieved while coming to my side again.

For two days, Rain and I have slept in Mom’s bed like we were little kids that were afraid of the dark. Only we were there to keep her from being afraid of the dark instead of the other way around.

They start covering the hole while Mom continues to unravel on Dane, and he does all he can to ease her pain with his gentle touch. Kode’s hand slides back around my waist, tugging me to him and kissing my hair.

“Are you staying with Eleanor tonight?” he asks softly as people start to disperse.

“My aunts are staying with her tonight. I was hoping I could stay with you.”

His arms tighten around me, and he nuzzles me gently. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want to, Tria. I didn’t want you leaving just because Pete was gone.”

For the second time in a long two days, I smile. That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now.

“Can we go now?” I ask, looking up at him.

He smiles down at me with those soft eyes no one else ever gets to see. “Anything you want.”

Chapter 24

KODE

“Where’s Tria?” Dane asks as he steps inside my house.

I’ve been dreading this conversation since the funeral five days ago. I’m surprised it has taken him this long.

“She had a business meeting with her new team. She’ll be back soon.”

He looks around as we near the living room, his eyes falling on the several items that prove a girl is living with me. Tria’s lip gloss is on the coffee table, her running shoes are setting by the glass doors, and her girly candles are here and there in certain places. If he thinks this is obvious, then he should see the master bathroom.

“I talked to Dale and the guys. They apparently figured it out a while back. Call me stupid or blind.” His face is expressionless, and his voice is even, which makes it impossible to read his mood.

“You’re about to get married. Your mind is a little preoccupied,” I say mildly, trying not to be the one to spark a feud first.

He leans back, propping his ass on the back of my sofa, and stuffs his hands into his jean pockets while studying me.

“Dale seems to think you’re in love with her. Why Tria, Kode? You fucking hated her. Why would you go after Tria?”

He’s obviously reining in his anger, because he’s definitely not happy with the fact I have the other Noles sister. The one actually made for me.

“Well, you kind of can’t help who you fall for, Dane. Falls aren’t usually planned. If they’re planned, they’re called jumps.”

I expect a grin or something, but I get nothing besides crickets.
Well, this conversation is going great.

“Dane, I’m not going to apologize for—”

“Do you love her?” he asks, interrupting me.

Though I really don’t want to have this conversation with him before I have it with my girl, I guess I sort of owe him an explanation.

With a heavy sigh, I prop up beside him and stare at the wall. There’s now a picture hanging there—Tria and me in bed. It’s just a face shot with me kissing her cheek while she snaps the picture. But it’s probably my favorite thing in the house right now.

“Yeah. I do. And I get it now, Dane. I don’t know how you didn’t kill me when you found out about what I did.”

His eyes widen in surprise, and to my astonishment, he laughs. It’s a low, rumble of a laugh that seems to vibrate from his chest.

“Man, you really do love her.”

It’s almost painful to look back at all the time I wasted thinking I was in love with Rain. It’s easy to get confused, but after you’ve had a taste of the real thing, there’s no mistaking it ever again.

“Yeah, well, I haven’t told her that yet. Her dad just died five days ago, so I don’t think it’s the best time.”

Dane nods slowly, and then he reaches into his back pocket to extract the envelope that is hanging out. He hands it to me, and I read the messy handwriting on the front that has my girl’s name on it.

“What’s this?”

“Edward wrote a letter to Tria, Eleanor, and Rain. I told Eleanor I would deliver Tria’s. It gave me an excuse to come talk to you about this beehive you stirred. But if you seriously love her, then I’m not going to say anything other than… What the fuck? You
hated
Tria worse than anyone.”

His lips curl up in a smile, and for the first time in too long, I feel like my brother is looking at me with something other than hatred. I just laugh, unable to help myself.

“Wish I knew. Dale says I got sucker punched.” I rub my jaw to feign a hit I didn’t see coming, and Dane laughs hard—harder than I’ve heard him laugh in so damn long.

As his laughter tapers off, he stares at the picture of Tria and me on the wall. He studies it for a moment, probably noting the stupid smiles on our faces.

“Corbin said he knew you were serious when you mentioned telling Rain about the letter.”

The others have spoken about this since Dane and I had this fight, but we’ve never talked about it. Not since the day he shoved his fist into my face.

“Yeah. I still want to, but I want to wait until after the wedding.”

He frowns while continuing to study the picture. “The wedding has been moved back two weeks. It was a pain in the ass to do, but Rain didn’t want her father’s death messing with our day. She feels that will be sufficient time for people to get over the son of a bitch. Personally, I don’t understand grieving him at all.”

That has me tightening my lips and trying not to piss him off when we’re finally starting to be on good terms again. I thought this thing with Tria would tear us apart, not push us closer.

“That’s because he treated Rain like shit from day one. Tria knew him as a father for eighteen years of her life. Eleanor loved him for a really long time, even when he tried to make her hate him. Any idea what’s in these letters?”

He shakes his head. “Rain wasn’t ready to read hers just yet. She wanted to wait until she had some liquor. Eleanor retreated to her room after giving me Tria’s, and Rain hugged her goodbye. I figured I’d give her space to get drunk and read it.”

I nod, because there’s nothing to really say. Bashing the guy now that he’s dead seems pointless.

“I don’t think we should tell the truth. Rain will be devastated. I don’t want her to lose her best friend. Would you want Tria to lose someone she has thought of as her best friend for six years?”

Looking down shamefully, I stare at my feet, unable to even face the picture of Tria now.

“I was only her best friend because I knocked you out of the picture.”

Dane sighs long and loud. “No, Kode. You didn’t do that on your own. You provided a speed bump. That’s all it should have been. She and I were ridiculous by letting our pride get in the way. But we were eighteen. And sometimes, as you know, you make stupid decisions when you’re young based on immature emotions, and then you stick with them because you rationalize the reasons in your mind. It’s a hell of a lot harder to swallow your pride and face something after time begins to pass.”

That’s the fucking truth.

“I wish I had never gone back out to the car that day.”

Dane laughs humorlessly. “That makes two of us.”

The door opens and closes, silencing us as Tria walks in, her eyes wide. Apparently she has already seen Dane’s car in the driveway.

“Tria,” Dane says, standing and fidgeting nervously before pocketing his hands again.

“Dane.” She stands taller, keeping his gaze. I’m pretty sure she’s on the defensive right now, considering she won’t let anyone run their mouths about us. She knows how real we are, and she’s got my back.

I’ll never forget the day she stuck Maverick in his place. He won’t ever forget it either.

“I wanted to apologize about what happened at the funeral,” Dane continues, looking as shameful as I’ve ever seen him look before. “It was sure as hell the wrong place and time, and I acted like an idiot kid instead of an adult. I’m sorry.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, staring at him like she’ll rip him in half if he’s says the wrong thing right now. It’s so fucking hot.

“Rain is really excited about this,” she tells him. “I wish everyone could have that reaction.”

Surprisingly, Rain is the biggest fan out there of our relationship. Maybe Dane is right about letting our past bullshit die with the lie.

“I know Rain is happy,” Dane says, smiling at her. “So am I. But I’m also a self-centered jerk sometimes. I’m human, after all. Never said I was perfect.”

She tenses noticeably, like there’s something in there she didn’t like to hear. “No one is perfect,” she finally says, letting her eyes meet mine briefly, but then she returns her gaze to my brother. “Sorry I flipped you off in the cemetery.”

Dane bursts out laughing, and I smother my snickers with my hand while Tria bites back a grin.

“I deserved it,” Dane says when at last his laughter fades.

She shrugs, seeming to agree with him, and she reduces the distance between us quickly, moving to my side where I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. Dane turns to smile at us.

“I’ll be taking off. I guess I’ll see you two soon.”

“Yeah,” I say as he walks away.

Tria sighs as the door shuts behind him, and she angles her head to look up at me.

“I didn’t know what I’d be walking into when I saw his car.”

Obviously I’m just as relieved.

“The guys got to him. They told him how I really feel about you. I actually think we’re cool again for the first time in a while.”

I’m careful not to bring Rain’s name into anything. It’s the smartest thing to do.

“Did he tell you the wedding has been pushed back two weeks? It’ll be a total of three weeks before we can officially go public,” she teases, smiling up at me with her long lashes looking close to her cheeks.

“Ha. I think we’re very much public now.” Sighing, I hand her the envelope before I change my mind and do something stupid like rip it up—been there, done that, not a good idea. I’d love to save her some pain, but I’ve learned my lesson about interfering with damn letters.

“What’s this?” she asks, looking down at the crisp white envelope.

“It’s from your dad. Dane brought it over.”

Her breath comes out harsh, and she takes a minute to just stare at it. I wait patiently, ready to do whatever I can to make it better no matter what that damn thing says.

“Here,” she says, handing it back to me. “Hold on to it for me. I’m not ready to see what it says.”

I take it, though I’m a little confused. “You’re sure?”

Her dark hair falls over her shoulder, going down past her breasts and touching her top few ribs.

“Positive. If he’s telling me he’s sorry and that he loves me, it’s going to break my heart. It’ll make me feel guilty for all the time we lost because I didn’t try harder. If it’s something cold and indifferent, then it’ll break my heart in a different way. He doesn’t get to speak to me from the grave until I’m ready to listen.”

I nod, folding the envelope and sliding it into my pocket. “Then I’ll keep it until you ask for it.”

She smiles, even though it seems forced now.

“Thank you. Now, I got three movies. You can choose which one we watch.”

I flip through them and choose the only one that doesn’t look like a damn romance. She rolls her eyes at my selection, and then she heads to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“How’d the meeting go?” I ask, watching her hips sway in her sexy skirt that hugs her hips and legs all the way down to her knees. Her white shirt is tucked in, and she looks like a dirty dream I want to have.

“Great. You really know how to find some incredible people. It’s going to be a well-oiled machine. They already have all the plans worked out, and they essentially just needed me to sign off. I was so impressed that I almost lost my cool and bounced up and down.”

Her smile is infectious, and I find myself grinning, too, while tossing the movie in. She heads into the bedroom as I drop to the couch and start pouring our wine. She emerges just as the movie previews start, and I waggle my eyebrows at her new attire—just my shirt.

“There’s something to be said about ordering in,” I murmur, trying not to be too pushy.

“Definitely,” she says in agreement, winking at me.

We’ve only had sex a couple of times since she heard about her father. I’m trying to give her whatever she needs right now. If it’s sex, then it’s hers. If it’s quiet time, then I shut the hell up. If she needs a bath, I’m turning on the water.

She sits down beside me and slides a leg over my waist while taking her glass. When she cuddles up against me and rests her head on my arm that is draped over the back of the sofa, it feels so right that it’s almost suffocating me.

“Tria?” I look at her while she sips the wine, her body slowly tangling around mine like she can’t get close enough.

“Mm?”

Instead of saying anything, I just kiss her, a firm kiss that has me wanting more, but not pushing for it. Our glasses go to the table, becoming forgotten as I hold her to me. When she kisses me back and starts pulling me backwards with her, slowly lying down on the sofa while keeping me between her legs, I fight not to rip the buttons off the shirt.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I finally say against her lips.

“So am I,” she says, smiling.

Yeah… I’m pretty fucking in love with Tria Noles.

The damn doorbell rings, announcing the food is here, and Tria laughs as I growl and adjust myself in my jeans. I don’t think it’s funny. At all.

She sits back up, and I go and pay the douche waiting with our food.

We eat and talk about her meeting, and she fills me in on all the details while we both ignore the movie. She’s far more interesting than the screen right now.

When the doorbell rings again, we exchange a confused look. “Kode, Tria, it’s Rain. Open up.”

Rain’s voice is breaking, and Tria scrambles up, stopping by the bedroom to grab shorts while I jog to the front door. Damn glad I didn’t give Rain a key.