Luck of the Draw (11 page)

Even if one of them confused the hell out of her.

Chapter Eleven

Breck watched the lights disappear down the driveway. It was only about eight, but the rain began picking up and Rowan’s friends had wanted to leave before it got bad. Water pelted the side of her house. The wind blew against the windows so hard it rattled them. It was probably a good idea they’d left—he’d hate to think of them out if things got any worse.

He turned back to the table, still with poker chips and all sorts of food Rowan had made for the evening. All finger-food things and not what he usually had at a poker game because it was all much too fancy for that, but he’d enjoyed it. Couldn’t remember when he’d enjoyed a night more, actually.

“You cooked, so I’ll clean,” he told her when she walked downstairs. She’d changed into a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, a sweatshirt and— “You wear glasses?” He’d been here a couple weeks already and this was the first time he’d seen her wearing the black frames.

“I usually wear contacts, but my eyes are hurting today.”

He’d seen her cry earlier and wanted to ask why. Wanted to wipe the tear, actually, but knew it wasn’t his place.

“Sexy. You have that naughty librarian look going,” he teased her. She let out a soft laugh that went right through him, settled in some of the little nooks and crevices inside.

“You’re bad, and I do not look sexy. I’m wearing pajamas, a ponytail and glasses. I look frumpy, but that’s okay because I’m comfortable and that’s all that matters.”

She picked up one of the plates left on the table. Breck walked over and put his hand on hers. She definitely looked sexy. A pink sheen covered those cute little freckles. “I said I’d clean up.”

“You’re a—”

“Guest. I know. But I’m also your friend and a guest who’s been staying long enough that I can pitch in and help.”

He pried her hand off the plate and picked it up. “Go relax or something. You’re always doing stuff for other people. Take a load off.”

Her head cocked to the side and damn if he didn’t think she would start to cry again, but she didn’t. “It’s okay to accept help, you know?”

It took a few seconds, but then her red lips stretched into a small smile and said, “Okay. I used to always like cuddling up by a fire when it stormed.”

Well shit. He didn’t want her to be the one to make the fire either. Maybe this made him sound sexist, but it felt like something he should do for her.

“I’ll start the fire first. Then clean.”

“I can do it.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“I live here alone, Breck. You don’t have to baby me. Finish the table and I’ll start a fire. Remember? I’ve seen you try and bait a hook. I’m not too sure how much I trust you with that outdoorsy stuff.”

He was man enough that the comment didn’t sting. “Brat.”

It didn’t take Breck long to clean up the mess at the table and load all the dishes into the washer. The rain was coming down harder than ever. Thunder clapped above the house. Hitting the lights, Breck went into the living room to see Rowan sitting on a blanket in front of the oversize fireplace. She had a couple pillows around her, her back to him.

He stood there and watched, wondering too many things to even comprehend them all. What was she thinking about? Did she care that he’d be here until his next tournament? Would he still want to be here that long? And what was it about this woman that turned him inside out? He didn’t know which way was up or down or what any of it meant.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Sure,” she said without looking back. He stepped out of his shoes and took a seat beside her on the floor and, like Rowan, watched the flames.

“I used to sit in front of a fire all the time when I was a kid. It was the cheapest source of heat, which is what we needed. I haven’t built a fire since I left home.” He wasn’t sure where those words had come from.

“Really?” Finally she looked at him. “I think that’s a tragedy, Breck. Even for no reason other than building them to honor the old memories. You have to hold onto those.”

He smiled at that, even though he wasn’t sure he agreed. All memories did for him was make him angry. Remembering the things he lost wasn’t how he chose to live his life. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Liar.”

He laughed. “You know me pretty damn well there, Houdini.”

Just like he was beginning to know her too. Knew by the way she bit her lip that she was thinking of something. Possibly worrying.

Thunder screamed in the distance and Rowan jumped.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of storms.” He grinned at her.

She shook her head. “No. I’m worried about Shakes. His house is old and the storm is bad. I’m sure he’s okay, but I tried to call him and he didn’t answer.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” But Breck wasn’t sure that
he
was. She was getting under his skin, which made his chest go on lockdown. He’d fought so hard not to let anyone get to him for so long. Actually that was a lie—he’d never had to fight that hard. It just never happened. The opposite was the case here. She seemed to find her way past his do-not-trespass sign.

Rowan’s cell phone rang and she was to her feet before it finished. “Hello?” Quiet. “Oh thank God. I was worried. Thanks for calling, Sid.”

She hung up the phone. “Sidney said they stopped by to check on Shakes and brought him home with them. She knew I would worry.”

“You’re close?” Breck said, though he knew the answer.

Rowan shrugged. “When I felt left out as a kid, Shakes tried to make sure I didn’t. He listened to me like a father would.”

A flash lit the room from outside before the lights went out. “Oh!” Rowan gave a startled yelp and in the light of the fire, he saw her hands fly to her chest, as though her heart were beating hard.

“Do you have a generator?” he asked.

“I do, but it doesn’t always work the best.” She eyed the ground. “They’re not cheap, you know.”

Breck stood and walked over to her. “Hey. I’m the last person to give you shit about something like that. We’ll figure it out.” He wanted to fix it for her but knew she probably wouldn’t let him. He’d find a way, though. “Flashlights?”

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”

Yeah. He should have known better. He knew he could and probably should head for the stairs and go to bed, but he was wide awake. Awake and curious. “I’ll make you a deal. You hang out with me for a while down here. We’ll get the flashlights, maybe some food or whatever. I’m too wired to sleep and the next time you’re in need of a fishing buddy, I’ll go with you.” It was a huge possibility she wouldn’t want him to, like she had before, but he figured he’d try it anyway.

“A deal, huh? Is this one of your poker things?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “I doubt I could sleep anyway.”

“I think you just don’t want to be away from me.”

“I think I’m going to punch you!” But she was smiling, and so was he.

They ended up in the kitchen. She gave him a flashlight and kept one for herself. “I’ll light some candles in the living room,” she said as she grabbed matches.

“Let’s have some more of that dip you made too. It was incredible.”

Her eyes lit up and she grabbed it from the fridge as well as some fruit. Breck went for the chips and they made their way back to the blanket.

“You’re going to kill me, Houdini, but I need to get Ace. I don’t want her alone up there in the dark.” He knew she didn’t like cats, but it wasn’t fair to Ace either. “I’ll put her in her carrier if you want—”

“No! I…” She looked away and his gut sank. “I have a confession to make.”

“What is it?” He bent down.

“I sort of like your cat… I’ve been letting her out when you’re not home.”

He bit his tongue so he didn’t laugh. Oh, this was good. “You are so determined to stick to your rule about Ace that you
hid
the fact you like my cat and let her out? That’s messed up, sweetheart.” But he liked it. Had a confession of his own to admit.

“I didn’t mean to start to like her, and I knew you’d rub my nose in it. Now hurry and grab her before she gets scared.”

Breck stood, shaking his head. Crazy woman. “I’ll go get her, but I have a confession to make as well.”

He let her wonder what it was for a few seconds. “I take her out of the room when you aren’t here too.” With that, he did exactly what she said. Went upstairs to get his cat so he could go back down and spend the evening with the two girls.

He worked hard to bury the worry that Rowan would take something away from him. Not his cat…but his heart, and damn if he would fully let someone in enough for it to get stomped on again.

…

“So, you like my cat, do you?”

Rowan didn’t stop her hand from petting the animal on her lap, but she did roll her eyes at Breck. “You say everything like it’s meant to be sexual. Is sex always on your mind?” She looked at his long, lean body. His mischievous eyes and that stubble he let grow more often than not. She had to admit it was on her mind. Maybe that was another pregnancy hormone thing she didn’t know about. All she knew was she couldn’t look at him without feeling a heaviness inside her.

A yearning that made her feel hot and dizzy at the same time.

Or maybe she was getting a cold. That could be a possibility too.

“What!” Breck feigned shock. “I didn’t say anything in a sexual manner. Maybe it’s
your
mind that’s always on sex. I should cover poor Ace’s ears.” He pretended to reach for the cat and she smacked his hand away.

“You leave Ace alone. She’s comfortable.”

On his side, Breck lay out on the blanket while Rowan sat cross-legged next to him. His head rested in his hand, his arm bent as he faced her. The electricity was still out, but with the fire and the candles they could see fine. She’d called the electric company and they were currently working on getting it back up again.

“You’re not going to steal my cat, are you? I went through that once and Ace didn’t like Taylor the way she does you.”

Curiosity spiked inside her. She knew she probably wouldn’t like it, but she wanted to know more about Breck and his past with women. She needed to, she told herself, but that was only partly true. The fact was, even though she knew she had to tell him about the baby—and tell him soon—that was no longer the only reason she wanted information from him.

“Tell me about her,” she asked him.

Breck groaned. “We’re really going to hash out our past relationships? I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Houdini.”

The nickname used to annoy her, but now she found she actually liked it. “So you were in a serious relationship with this woman?”

“No. Hell no. I told you I don’t do relationships.”

“Ah. How could I forget? Even the first night we met I could tell that.” Rowan suddenly shivered even though she wasn’t cold. Had she really fooled herself into believing something different? That she would suddenly find out it was a lie or he’d changed his mind?

“That’s not fair. It wasn’t just me that night, Row.” Breck shifted and sat up. “Plus…that was different. I’m not going to pretend I know why, but with Taylor, we’d dated a few weeks, but I always knew what it was. Once we ended, it all kind of stopped. It’s harder than you think, out there.”

“I thought you loved it? The freedom?”

“I do, I do. That’s not what I mean.” He scratched his head and she thought it might be the first time she’d ever seen Breck Wilder at a loss for words. “Poker can be like sports or bands. I do have representation. It’s more for getting me sponsorships, but once I get them, I have to participate in tournaments for those sponsors. Most of the time, I love going. But there are some aspects of it that all feel the same after a while. The things that used to take the edge off or…I guess kept the loneliness away, start making it worse.”

Rowan’s hand stilled on Ace. This went along with his admission the other night about loneliness. She didn’t know what to think about it.

“After Taylor, I just didn’t feel the draw toward the drama anymore. Hell, Houdini, if you could’ve seen some of the situations I’ve gotten myself into, you’d get it. It wasn’t something I consciously decided to do, but I stopped enjoying a lot of the perks I used to, if you know what I mean.”

He winked.
Men.

“I think I know.”

He laughed and so did she, but questions still swam around in her brain.

It was stupid. So very stupid of her to ask this, but she couldn’t stop herself. “What changed the night we met?”

Absently, Breck reached over and pet Ace. Their hands touched, his so rough compared to hers. She liked the contrast in the two of them, much more than she should.

Rowan pulled her hand back.

This was getting out of control. No, not this. Her.
You need to tell him.

But what would happen when she did? How could she explain keeping it from him for these few weeks?

“I honestly don’t know, sweetheart.”

Her breath caught at the endearment, but he didn’t notice.

“I just went over to talk and then you were so damn sassy and fiery that I couldn’t walk away.”

“Oh, blame it on me!” She tried to pretend she didn’t feel like she was going to pass out.

“It
was
your fault. I was just casually flirting. I’d been abstinent for months, I’ll have you know. I’m pretty sure those pretty little lips of yours found mine first.”

“Oh my God!” She covered her face. She couldn’t believe he’d gone there. That she and Breck were really sitting here casually joking about their one night in bed together.

“Don’t be shy. I’m hard to resist,” he teased, which only made her more embarrassed.

“That’s not me. You have to know that. I still can’t believe…” That her baby might grow up fatherless because of her. That she put herself in this situation in the first place. Yes, they’d used protection, but it was never 100 percent. What had she been thinking?

“Hey. None of that. There’s nothing wrong with what happened between us. We’re both adults. Gorgeous adults who—”