Lucky 7 Bad Boys Contemporary Romance Boxed Set (79 page)

The irritation and frustration he felt boiled into anger, his mind homing in on her clear intention to exclude him from his baby's life, despite her assurances to the contrary.
He'd known he couldn't trust her.

His voice became dangerously quiet.
"Your
baby?"

Surging forward, he placed his hands on either side of her belly, feeling the solid warmth within. "It was
my
seed that gave him life. He is
my
son, my family. I'll be damned if I'll give him up to be raised by strangers."

She scowled. "I'm telling you I'm not giving him up! Not for adoption, and not to you."

"And I'm telling you I want my child."

She stared at him wide-eyed. "Look, I know I can't give him the things you—"

"Things!"
Cole spat out, cutting her off. Turning on a heel, he paced to his desk, unable to see reason, unable to stand still, he was so caught up in the nightmare of his own bad memories. "What good are
things
when you don't have the love of your own mother and father?"

He strode back and stood before her, fists clenched. "What about when he grows up and finds out he was an accident, that you didn't really want him? That I just stood by and gave him up without a fight?"

Rini swallowed, looking thoroughly crushed. "I
do
want him," she whispered.

Refusing to believe her, Cole leaned in close, not missing her slight flinch at his movement. "Do you have any idea what that does to a kid's self-esteem?"

She shook her head, her eyes liquid pools of hurt. "No."

"Well,
I do.
And it's
not
going to happen to my son."

She let out a long, unsteady breath, her hunted gaze darting to his face before stubbornly retreating to the floor. "I won't let you have him, Cole. I can't."

He leaned back on his heels, the determination in his soul solidifying to granite. "Then we're in for one hell of a fight, baby, because there's not a chance in the world I'll give him up."

Chapter Six

A few days before Christmas, Cole walked into his mom's kitchen and gave her a hug. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey, Punkus!" Julia McCleary smiled, holding her flour-covered hands away from his clothes. She had a smudge of butter on her cheek.

He rolled his eyes. "Mom, I'm thirty-two years old. You're going to have to stop calling me that." He wiped the butter from her cheek and laid a kiss where it had been. "It's embarrassing."

"Sorry, Punkus. I'll try and do better." She attempted to look contrite, failing miserably.

Chuckling, Cole helped himself to a cup of coffee and tossed a smile to his dad, who sat at the kitchen table, struggling with a pile of nuts and a pair of pliers. "Hi, Pop. Mom got you cracking macadamias again?"

His dad, Ted, heaved a dramatic sigh and gestured helplessly. "Thanks to your cousin."

"Tanya knows how much you love macadamia nuts in your Christmas cookies. I hear she had a bumper crop this year. The bag she gave you must be worth a small fortune on the open market."

"That woman's kindness will cripple me one of these years," he said, stretching his fingers.

Cole grinned. "Here, let me take over."

"Ah, respite for my aching hands. Just in time for the game, too. Come on in when the slave-driver here gives you a break."

Thoughtfully, Cole watched his dad retreat into the living room—the same room where Cole had spent much of his youth reading, playing cards, and watching TV with the loving couple who had adopted him as a baby. When he caught his mom observing him curiously, he forced a smile, sat down at the table and began cracking nuts.

It had been a ritual for as long as he could remember—he and his mom baking Christmas cookies together. Even during his rebellious years when he'd lived on the rez with Tanya's family, he'd always managed to find some excuse to come back home on the Saturday before Christmas.

"You're quiet tonight, Cole. Anything wrong?"

He wriggled out from under the doubt and indecision that had been building in him since he'd gotten there. He loved his adoptive parents and knew they loved him like he was their own. If he was bitter over his childhood ordeals, it definitely wasn't because of them.

Still, a kid belonged with his real mother and father, didn't he? Cole was doing the right thing by his son, fighting to be included in his life. In his heart he knew it. Even if he'd gone a bit too far in his anger with Rini the other day and overstated his case. He had no intention of taking the baby away from her. He just wanted to be there for him.

Slowly, he set down the pliers and looked over at his mom. "Mom, I'm going to have a baby."

"You? I'd like to see that." Julia laughed. But her amusement over his choice of words faded quickly when she caught sight of his face. "Oh, my gracious. You're serious!"

He nodded.

She dragged out a chair and dropped into it, her face suddenly ashen. "With who? Lindsay?"

He made a face. "Mom, please. Lindsay and I never even slept together when we were married. Why would we start now?"

Julia smiled weakly. "Who, then?"

"Her name is Rini Herelius. It's a boy. He's due in February."

His mom looked dazed. "Okay. Wow. Why haven't I met this woman?"

"It's complicated."

"I see."

"Don't worry. She's not married, or a minor, or anything weird."

His mom's hand trembled as she reached up and pushed her graying hair back from her face. "She doesn't want to marry you?"

He shook his head, preferring not to bring up the insignificant detail that he hadn't asked her. "We're barely speaking. I might have to take her to court to establish my rights."

"Is she Native American?" When he shook his head again, his mom lowered her hands to her lap and studied them, obviously torn. He had to strain to hear what she said next. "And you don't want him going through what you did."

He knew his mom still blamed herself for the difficult years they'd gone through back when he'd rediscovered his Luiseño roots. "None of it was your fault, Mom. You know that."

"If it wasn't my fault, why did you have to run away to find out who you are?" She rose abruptly and went to check on the batch of cookies in the oven.

"You did what you thought was right." He followed and put his arms around her from behind. "How could it possibly be your fault that when you looked at me you saw the son you loved, but when everyone else looked at me they saw an Indian kid trying to be white."

"If only I'd known, if I'd been more sensitive. If I'd let you learn about your heritage…"

"Yeah, and if I weren't adopted things would be hunky-dory and the streets would be paved with gold." He turned her around to face him. "I had the best parents a kid could ever have. Still do. I learned a lot of things during those years at Rincon, and that was one of them." He hugged her close. "I'll admit I went through a private hell back then. But you're not the one I blame for it. Never in a million years."

She sighed and pulled away, wiping her eyes. "Cole, one of these days you'll have to talk to her. Your real mother."

"I think those cookies are burning, Mom. Better check them."

Her gaze rested on his face for a moment longer before she took the oven mitt and turned her attention to the stove.

He let out a breath, grateful she didn't pursue the topic. He didn't want to hear about how he ought to make things right between himself and his biological mother. He wasn't interested. Plain and simple. She'd made her choice thirty-two years ago, and nothing was going to change what had happened to him because of her decision.

"So how do you like the idea of having a grandson?" he asked.

Pulling the cookie sheets from the oven, she beamed at him, her expression full of genuine joy. "I like it a whole lot. But I'd like it even better if I got a daughter-in-law, too."

"Sorry. Not this time."

"Surely, you must have loved her if you...well, if she got pregnant."

Ever the optimist. He wasn't quite able to hold his smile in place as he answered. "Things just didn't work out."

"Have you really given it a chance?"

His lips formed a thin line. Rini was the one who hadn't given it a chance. Now it was too late for both of them. "It's not an option right now, Mom."

"You still have feelings for her, don't you?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't. Feelings? Absolutely. He just wasn't sure what they were, other than anger and disappointment.

But later, when Cole was ready to go, as if able to divine his deepest secrets, his mother slipped a round tin into his hands.

"What's this?"

"Cookies."

He frowned.

"For her."

"Tanya?"

"Rini. The mother of your baby. I want you to bring them to her, from me."

"Mom—"

"You've got three days until it's Christmas. That's plenty of time." She kissed him on the cheek. "Humor me, Punkus."

He sighed, knowing he couldn't refuse her heartfelt request, as annoying as it was. He'd do almost anything to make up for the years of heartache he'd caused her as a teen.

Almost.

"All right," he agreed with a sigh. "But it won't do any good, so don't get your hopes up."

* * *

Cole stared at the tin of cookies sitting in front of him on his office desk, and silently cursed.

The last thing he wanted to do right now was stand nose-to-nose with Rini Herelius. After what had happened here the other day, she'd probably throw the tin in his face.

Not that he didn't deserve it. He was still disgusted with himself for his unforgivable behavior. Oh, not the fight—that was perfectly understandable, given the volatile emotions they both had concerning the subject of their baby.

No, it was what he'd done before that. When he'd nearly kissed the woman.
Again!
He must have been completely insane.

But it was four-thirty on Christmas Eve, and he'd promised his mom. That meant he had to deliver the damned cookies tonight, or tomorrow be forced to face the sad, disappointed look she had down to a fine art. And the guilt that went with it.

Hell
.

He slowly smoothed and straightened his tie, slipped on his jacket, and tucked the cookies under his arm.

* * *

When the doorbell rang, Rini cast a disgusted glance at the front door. Impeccable timing, as always.

She'd just sunk down in Alexa's big, comfy armchair, which was so hard to get out of once settled into. She glanced hopefully toward the kitchen, where the family was preparing dinner, but no one else had heard the doorbell over the din of pots banging and knives chopping. Groaning, she eased herself out of the chair with the grace of a buffalo.

Less than two months to go,
she told herself. And not a moment too soon.

Looking through the peephole in the door, she caught her breath. A tall, broad-shouldered figure was illuminated in the twilight by multicolored Christmas lights.

Cole!

She hadn't heard from him since that awful day in his office last week. What was he doing here on Christmas Eve? It couldn't be good news. Cautiously, she opened the door.

He fingered the perfect knot in his silk tie. "Good evening."

"Cole?"

He fingered the silk nervously. "I tried the garage apartment. No answer."

"I'm having dinner with…" She let her words trail off, and she looked at him uncertainly.

"Yeah, thought you might be. I, uh, I'm here to deliver some cookies."

She blinked. "Cookies?"
What on earth…?

"Christmas cookies from my mom." He showed her the round tin in his hands. "She wanted me to give them to you."

Rini was floored. "Your mother sent me cookies?"

He glanced dubiously at the colorful lights surrounding the door. "For Christmas."

Her face must have reflected her utter disbelief.

"I told her about the baby." One shoulder lifted almost apologetically as he stroked his tie again. "What can I say. She's an incurable romantic."

"I... That's very sweet. Um…" What should she do? Invite him in? God grief, Alexa would love that.

Rini felt a little panicked, but she had to admit she was glad to see Cole standing at her door. She'd been thinking about him a lot since the other day. Thinking about the fight they'd had. About how she'd never really given him a chance to explain his side of what had happened at the powwow. About how he was right to want to be a part of his baby's life, even if they disagreed as to the extent.

About his lips lowering to hers…

She looked quickly into the empty living room, then back to him. "Would you like to come in?"