Luke's Absolution (The Colloway Brothers Book 3) (19 page)

“Christ, Addy,” I growl. With a hand on her nape, I yank her to me and kiss her hard and deep, pouring every ounce of emotion I have for her into it. I can’t kiss her the way I want or I’ll kill us. It’s a promise of what’s to come later, regardless of our sleeping arrangements.

When I release her, her hot mouth is back on me.

“You’re so sexy,” she mumbles. Pressing wet openmouthed kisses over my crosses, her warm breath washes over my pecs and travels south, swirling around my cock like a tornado where I feel my seed being tugged directly from my balls in a desperate need to explode.

My abs flex and ripple with each light nip. She doesn’t leave an inch of exposed skin untouched before working her way back up, mumbling against my lips as she works the button and zipper on my jeans. “I want your cock in my mouth.”

Before I can respond, my dick is sinking between her hot little lips, her tongue swirling madly.

“Shit, fireball,” I growl. My head slams back against the headrest and one hand fists her hair, guiding her up and down my greedy shaft. My eyes want to fall closed so I can focus only on the feel of her suction, her wet tongue, her talented fingers as she fondles my balls. I force them open, focusing on keeping my vehicle between the white lines, so I don’t send us both to an early grave. But what a hell of a way to go.

“Yes. God. That’s it, baby,” I croon. Encourage. Within mere seconds, she’s brought me embarrassingly close to climax. I can already feel the telling tingling in my spine, the precursor announcing my impending explosion. To be fair, she had me knocking on ecstasy’s doorstep before she even started, every light touch pushing me closer.

“I’m gonna come in your mouth, Addy,” I warn. I tug on her hair to try to dislodge her, knowing I’m only seconds away from erupting, but she pulls against me, her pressure and pace increasing. I hardly get a chance to enjoy the euphoric feeling before my seed is being viciously ripped from my balls and shooting down her throat.

“Fuck yes. Yes.” My hips buck so hard I hear her gag; she never stops sucking or swallowing until I begin to soften.

Yep, fucking fire everywhere, my fireball.

I can honestly say I’ve never received a blowjob while hurtling at breakneck speed down the highway. I can also honestly say that I hope it’s not the last time, because…
Fuck. Me.

That was brilliant.

“
P
ull
up on the left side there.”

Luke does as I instruct, stopping close to the garage. He shuts off the car, which throws us into darkness except for the streetlight three houses down that barely illuminates us. A row of thick hedges lines our left, giving us privacy from the neighbors next door. We’ve pulled so far ahead that no one can see us from the front window or door either, which was my intention.

“Let me come in with you.”

“Luke, stop. You said you’d let me do this my way.”

Except I haven’t exactly figured out what “my way” is yet. Eric will absolutely flip his lid. My older brother has not approved of one of the men I’ve dated and I have to wonder if he had some sort of sixth sense about them. He’s tried to keep me away from guys like Luke my whole life. Hell, he’s tried keeping me away from
Luke
, although he has to know by now I’ve met him since I’m best friends with his brother’s wife. But he hasn’t asked and I haven’t offered.

My dad is almost as bad as Eric. He’ll take one look at Luke and lump him into the same category as all of the other men I’ve brought home. To be fair…I did the same thing.

It didn’t take me long to figure out, though, while on the outside Luke may look like the others, on the inside, he’s wholly unique. I’m sure it will take all of two minutes for my dad to see how much he cares about his little girl. Eric, on the other hand, will be a tougher nut to crack. Luke has a tough road ahead to convince the men in my life, my protectors, that he’s worthy of me. I know he’ll do it, though. Just like he did with me.

“Addy,” he pleads, grabbing me by the nape and helping me over the console so I’m straddling his lap. “You’re my girlfriend. Call me selfish, but I want your family to know. Mine does.”

My heart melts.

“Your girlfriend?” I can’t stop the huge smile that pops out.

“You like that?” he husks, tugging on my bottom lip with his thumb.

I fucking love it!

“Ehhh,” I respond, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.

“Little liar,” he chuckles. He pulls me to him for a ravenous kiss. When his tongue touches mine, insatiable want detonates inside me, clouding my thoughts. Suddenly I need him buried deep in me this damn instant. I’m so worked up from the car ride, from touching him all over, I can’t think straight.

Before we left, Luke took me hard and fast against my bedroom wall after he teased me about my suitcase, but it’s not enough. I can’t imagine going even a day without making love to him. Now, I’m regretting my decision to stay at my dad’s house. I’d die though before I’d tell Luke, giving him the satisfaction.

I lift my hips and start to undo his jeans when he grabs my hands, halting my frantic efforts. “What’s wrong?” I pant. Jesus, I’m panting and he hasn’t even touched me yet. My body responds to this man like no other before him.

“Addy, I’m not fucking you in my car outside your father’s house. That’s disrespectful to both him and you.”

“Why? He can’t see us here.”

One hand grasps my hips, stopping my movement. “Sounds like you have some experience with that?” he growls, his face turning hard and angry.

Whoops.
Maybe?

“I plead the fifth.”

“Jesus Christ, Addy. All the more reason I’m not fucking you here. You deserve better than to be treated like a two-bit whore who gets a quick fuck and then is sent on her way back inside like a good little girl. If those are the kinds of men you’ve been dating, then…”

That melted heart? Just hardened like slate. How dare he! I may have made some poor choices when it comes to men, but they’re
my
choices.
My
mistakes. And I’m certainly no damned whore.

“Then what?” I grit, my voice full of venom.

“Then they’re stupid fucking pricks who don’t deserve an incredible woman like you, Addy. Christ, you should be revered, honored. Men should be kneeling at your feet, giving you jewels, and feeding you grapes and shit. I don’t think you understand how special you really are.”

I snort, but I’m starting to weaken and he knows it. Cupping my face, he continues. “Baby, don’t ask me to treat you with anything less than the respect you deserve, okay?”

Sigh.

It’s dizzying how I can vacillate between wanting to kick him in the balls one minute and wanting to crawl into his arms and never leave the next. I love this man so much already it hurts sometimes.

I kiss him nice and slow. Tasting, taking, giving. “You’re like no one I’ve ever met before, Luke Colloway,” I whisper against his lips.

“I keep tellin’ you that, fireball,” he drawls and I laugh. “Someday you’ll believe me. Now, you’d better go in or you’re coming home with me.”

Chuckling, I give him another peck and open the door. He follows me out and retrieves my luggage and purse from the car, setting them in front of me before his arms secure me tight.

“You never analyzed my heart tattoo.”

“No.” Purposefully. I look down, unable to hold his intense stare for fear he’ll see the doubt that’s never too far away.

With a finger under my chin, he lifts it back up. “Do.”

“Why?” My heart races. I’m not sure I want the answer.

“Do it, sweetheart,” he cajoles, cupping my cheek. “Please.”

I take a deep breath. “Okay. Well, that one’s the most obvious. Someone you care greatly about hurt you deeply and you have your heart on lockdown to prevent you from being hurt again.”

“All true,” he says softly, lightly stroking my chin with his thumb. “But it’s not a woman like you’re thinking.”

“It’s not?” I whisper, searching his eyes.

“No.”

I wait for him to elaborate and when he doesn’t, I just ask, “Who then?”

He looks away quickly before reclaiming my eyes. “My father.”

“Oh, Luke,” I whisper. Kindred spirits, Luke and I. We’re alike in so many ways.

“You’ve melted them, you know.”

“What?”

He leans down, placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “The chains, sweetheart. They didn’t stand a chance against your fire.”

Oh.

Wow.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

I swallow thickly, my mind still back on the melted chain thing. “Yes. Eric’s bringing me.”

“Call me if you can’t sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, fireball.”

“Night, Luke.”

We’ve said our good-byes, but neither of us moves for what seems like minutes, an invisible magnetic force locking us together. When I do finally turn and make my way to the front door, I not only have to force my feet forward, I have to force myself to swallow three words that want to come flying out of my mouth. Despite the fact that I’ve not ever felt like this about another human being, it’s too soon to voice them, at least to Luke.

That doesn’t stop me from saying them under my breath, though, once I reach the front door.

“
C
an’t sleep
, Leenie?” my brother asks, padding quietly into the dimly lit kitchen. I smile at the childhood nickname he gave me after my full first name, Adeline, which is all my mother calls me, regardless of the fact I’ve asked her repeatedly to call me Addy.

“Nope. You?” Eric and I both inherited the insomniac gene from our father. I’m surprised he’s not joined the party yet.

“Same. You know I heard yoga or meditation is supposed to help with insomnia.”

Laughing, I tease, “And how exactly is it you know about yoga or meditation?” The only way Eric would know about either of these things is through a woman.

Eric and Luke are so much alike, in both looks and personality. Eric isn’t quite as tall as Luke’s six foot four frame, but he’s just as built and ripped and decorated as he is. And with Eric’s chiseled cheekbones, dark hair, and goatee, he could have almost any woman he wants, just like Luke. I know he’s had girlfriends, he just never stays with them long.

“I don’t live in a cave, Leenie,” he dodges.

“Mmm hmm. Right.” Breaking off a piece of the oatmeal raisin cookie I’m eating, I pop it in my mouth and practically moan. Whenever my dad knows I’m going to be home, he always makes sure to have these from my favorite bakery. They’re giant and sinful and worth every damn calorie. “I’m glad you’re staying here this weekend. I don’t get to see enough of you.”

“Me too, squirt.”

Eric has his own place, but it’s almost forty-five minutes from his shop so sometimes when he works really late or doesn’t feel like driving home, he’ll crash with our dad, which is only five minutes away.

With a beer in hand, Eric leans against the kitchen counter, crossing his beefy arms, studying me. “So you’re dating someone, huh?”

I choke on the bite I was just swallowing, coughing a little. “How…why do you say that?” I ask, my eyes now watering. Panic creeps through me. Does he know it’s Luke? The adrenaline abates when he answers, making me shiver.

“Dad told me when I called him earlier to say I was coming. Said you were glowing. So?”

I spent a couple hours talking to my dad before he turned in, although we never talked about the new man in my life. My dad did suspect as much, and he hinted several times in his roundabout way.

“Glowing?” I hedge.

“Yeah. Glowing like a firefly.”

“It’s the males that glow. You know they glow because that’s their mating call, right?”

“Mmm hmm...”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Yes, I am.” This is my perfect opportunity. I should tell him it’s Luke, but I don’t. Yes, I’m chickenshit.
Balk, balk.

“He treat you good?” he asks, taking a swig from his bottle.

“The best. He’s a wonderful man, Eric. Not like anyone I’ve been with before.”

He watches me for a few seconds. If he asks me who it is, I won’t be able to lie so a big part of me wants him to so I can just get this off my chest. Another part of me doesn’t want to have to battle about my choice of mates in the middle of the night. And honestly, the biggest reason I’m avoiding this discussion is I don’t want to come between Luke and Eric’s friendship and I fear it might if Eric can’t accept it. He’s just as stubborn as I am.

“I see what Dad’s talking about. Your eyes are sparkling. I’m glad Leenie. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Eric.”

He walks to the cupboard, snagging two of
my
cookies. “You’d better not eat all of those or you may find yourself on the receiving end of some nastiness, brother.”

“Oh? Is this like the time you said you were going to prank me all day and didn’t?”

“No, this will be like the time I set your alarm for three in the morning with the volume on max.”

“Shit, Addy…that scared the piss out of me. Literally. I was so drunk that night, I actually pissed my bed.”

“Serves you right. You ran off the boy I’d been crushing on for six months.”

“He wasn’t good enough for you.”

“You don’t think anyone is,” I counter snidely.

“No one
is
, Leenie. You’re…special.”

See what I’m talking about?

“So, have you talked to Mom lately?”

“No,” I reply quickly. And I don’t plan on it, either.

“You need to, Addy. She’s not doing well. Sam called me a couple of days ago and said she’s been a lot more forgetful lately and she’s retaining a lot of fluids. She’s in a bad way, going downhill pretty fast now. I don’t think she’s going to make it much longer. I’m headed down to see her next week.”

My mom has severe cirrhosis of the liver, diagnosed almost two years ago now. Although she contracted Hepatitis C during surgery when she was a child, her condition has been exacerbated by her abuse of the bottle. She’s not a candidate for a liver transplant because she also has a heart condition and the doctors don’t think she’ll make it through the surgery. I also think that’s due to years of alcohol abuse. The kicker is, my mom hasn’t given up her drinking even with the death sentence she’s been handed so I don’t plan to sit around and watch her intentionally, slowly kill herself.

He adds, “Sam said she’s been trying to get ahold of you.”

She has. I’ve been ignoring her calls, preferring to live in my happy little bubble instead.

“I’ll think about it,” I reply. He knows I’m full of shit.

“You’re going to regret it if you don’t see her, Addy. She’s going to die and it will eat you up to not resolve things between you two.”

Eric is the typical middle child, the peacekeeper of the family. He’s always trying to push my mom and me back together, but he knows better than anyone in our family how things were between us.

Sighing heavily, I spit, “What exactly would
I
have to regret, Eric?
She’s
the parent, and a piss poor one at that. We both know how our mother feels about me, anyway.”

I wasn’t wanted in the first place.
Did I forget to tell you that?
I was an unfortunate accident, a mistake. A mistake she constantly reminded me of, especially when she was between boyfriends, because somehow that was my fault. She didn’t want me, but she wouldn’t give me up either, always refusing my requests to live with my dad. She had custody and regularly used me as a bargaining chip in her charade of selfish games.

I should have taken a lesson out of Eric’s playbook and gone down the wrong road so she’d send me away; I just couldn’t make myself do it. Instead, I strived for perfection in hopes I could eventually make her happy and proud of me. I now know it was a fruitless effort. I wouldn’t admit it to Eric, but no matter how much I don’t want it to, her rejection still stings.

“I’m going to bed.” I stand, pushing the chair back.

“I’m sorry, Addy. I know you had it rough with her.”

“Yeah, well, I had you and Dad.”

“It’s not enough.”

“It never is,” I say softly, kissing him on the cheek. I’m halfway up the stairs when I freeze midstep at the words that follow.

“Oh, by the way, Luke Colloway called and asked if we would come to Easter dinner at his mom’s house Sunday. She’s a mean cook. You’ve met Luke, right?”

Shit.

Why that goddamn infuriating, underhanded man! Going behind my back to get what he wants. Now I’m going to have to spend all day with him either pretending we’re not a couple in front of my family or telling them before we go. Ohhhh…he’s good. Very good.

“Yes,” I answer, trying to keep my voice steady. I should confess now. He’s mentioned Luke’s name so I should just tell him I’m in love with his best friend and beg for his understanding. The door is open, only I’m standing on the threshold, paralyzed. I chicken out…again. “What did you say?”

“I said yes. Figured since you’re friends with Livia and his brother that it would be okay and would be better than that shitty diner. Dad said he didn’t care either way when I called him.”

I think we all know by now that I can’t cook and a home-cooked meal sounds better than dry ham and runny mashed potatoes from a restaurant, but still. It’s the principal of how Luke went about it. You can be damned sure he’s going to get an earful in about sixty seconds. “Okay. Fine.”

“I can cancel if you want, Addy. It’s no problem. I just thought…”

“No, it’s fine. Really.” He’ll just find some other way to get what he wants. “Night, Eric.”

“Night, squirt.”

When I make it to my bedroom, I pick up my phone and text Luke. Who cares that it’s after three in the morning? Not this pissed-off female. I am about to live up to my nickname right now. He wants fire? He’s got a fucking inferno burning.

Yes, I intentionally sent multiple texts hoping to wake him up. Who’s acting childish now? I proudly raise my hand. He responds almost immediately and when I see his text come through, I have to contain my squeal and remember why I’m pissed at him. My thighs clench in both desire and chilly remembrance.
Damn
him.

I sit there staring at those words. Well,
one
in particular. Surely he doesn’t mean…

How did you ever live without me?
I don’t know
, I think. I honestly don’t know. This entire revenge text is backfiring on me.
Big
time. I need to take control back. I choose to ignore his first question, answering his second.

Well. Shit.

Winner: Luke.

I swallow hard, trying not to read more into that than he probably means.

Once again Luke managed to commandeer the reins from me, but I find myself not caring. It’s fifteen minutes before I float down from the ceiling and more than an hour before I finally talk myself into going to sleep because the entire time I’m twisting and pulling apart his use of the word permanent.

Did you know there are over forty different ways to say permanent and they all essentially mean the same thing?

Existing perpetually.

Everlasting, especially without significant change.

Long lasting or nonfading.

In other words, forever.

Forever.

For keeps.

Till hell freezes over.

Permanently.