Lullabies (8 page)
Authors: Lang Leav
in the life she has led
—
her scratches on paper,
the words they have bled.
Remembering You
The day you left, I went through all my old journals, frantically looking for the first mention of you. Searching for any details I can no longer recall
—
any morsel of information that may have been lost to my subconscious. The memory of you is fading, a little at a time, and I can feel myself forgetting. I don’t want to forget.
Love’s Paradox
There is a tide that rolls away,
I want to make it stay.
A borrowed book sits on my shelf,
I want it for myself.
There are two old hands
that move this clock,
I want to make them stop.
There is a love you sold to me,
I keep it under lock
—
and yet you hold the key.
A Ghost
His voice in this room,
like shadows on walls;
I imagine him on
the other side of the door.
His voice, his hands, his touch,
at the start, the end,
and in the middle.
Strange how it mattered so much,
when now it matters
so little.
Losing You
I used to think I couldn’t go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.
Then, that day arrived and it was so damn hard but the next was harder. I knew with a sinking feeling it was going to get worse, and I wasn’t going to be okay for a very long time.
Because losing someone isn’t an occasion or an event. It doesn’t just happen once. It happens over and over again. I lose you every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug; whenever that one
song plays on the radio, or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.
I lose you every time I think of kissing you, holding you, or wanting you. I go to bed at night and lose you, when I wish I could tell you about my day. And in the morning, when I wake and reach for the empty space across the sheets, I begin to lose you all over again.
The End
“I don’t know what to say,” he said.
“It’s okay,” she replied, “I know what we are
—
and I know what we’re not.”
Encore
Excerpts from
Love & Misadventure
Also by Lang Leav
Available where all
good books are sold
Angels
It happens like this. One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else
—
closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps because this person carries an angel within them
—
one sent to you for some higher purpose, to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them
—
even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering
—
the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.
Though here is a word of warning
—
you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn’t to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled, the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.
..................................
It’s so dark right now, I can’t see any light around me.
That’s because the light is coming from you. You can’t see it but everyone else can.
Souls
When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence that is felt through a hand held, a voice heard, or a smile seen.
Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another.
This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not there
—
even if they are only in the very next room. Your soul only feels their absence
—
it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.
..................................
Can I ask you something?
Anything.
Why is it every time we say good night, it feels like good-bye?
A Dream
As the Earth began spinning faster and faster, we floated upwards, hands locked tightly together, eyes sad and bewildered. We watched as our faces grew younger and realized the Earth was spinning in reverse, moving us backwards in time.
Then we reached a point where I no longer knew who you were and I was grasping the hands of a stranger. But I didn’t let go. And neither did you.
..................................
I had my first dream about you last night.
Really? She smiles. What was it about?
I don’t remember exactly, but the whole time I was dreaming, I knew you were mine.
Rogue Planets
As a kid, I would count backwards from ten and imagine at one, there would be an explosion
—
perhaps caused by a rogue planet crashing into Earth or some other major catastrophe. When nothing happened, I’d feel relieved and at the same time, a little disappointed.
I think of you at ten; the first time I saw you. Your smile at nine and how it lit up something inside me I had thought long dead. Your lips at eight pressed against mine and at seven, your warm breath in my ear and your hands everywhere. You tell me you love me at six and at five we have our first real fight. At four we have our second and three, our third. At two you tell me you can’t go on any longer and then at one, you ask me to stay.
And I am relieved, so relieved
—
and a little disappointed.
Sea of Strangers
In a sea of strangers,
you’ve longed to know me.
Your life spent sailing
to my shores.
The arms that yearn
to someday hold me,
will ache beneath
the heavy oars.
Please take your time
and take it slowly;
as all you do
will run its course.
And nothing else
can take what only
—
was always meant
as solely yours.
Closure
Like time suspended,
a wound unmended
—
you and I.
We had no ending,
no said good-bye.
For all my life,
I’ll wonder why.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my agent, Al Zuckerman, for his invaluable guidance and wonderful support.
To Kirsty Melville and her passionate team at Andrews McMeel, for sending my books out into the world.
To all the amazing people I have had the pleasure of meeting on my book tours (you know who you are), thank you for working so tirelessly behind the scenes and for making me feel so welcome on my visits.
To my family and friends, it goes without saying that I wouldn’t be here without your love and encouragement.
To Ollie Faudet, who likes cows and makes me laugh.
And last, but definitely not least
—
a very special thank you to all of my beautiful readers. Your unwavering support and kind words inspire me every day.
About the Author
The work of poet and artist Lang Leav swings between the whimsical and woeful, expressing a complexity beneath its childlike facade.
Lang is a recipient of the Qantas Spirit of Youth Award and a prestigious Churchill Fellowship.
Her artwork is exhibited internationally and she was selected to take part in the landmark Playboy Redux show curated by the Andy Warhol Museum.
She currently lives with her partner and collaborator, Michael, in a little house by the sea.
Index
Chapter 1 -
Duet
Chapter 2 -
Interlude
Chapter 3 -
Finale