Lunatic Fringe (28 page)

“
Yeah, but I don’t want
people to see me as a guy who hangs out with dicks,” he
said.

“
You’re pledging a frat,
Duane,” Lexie said, letting that fact speak for itself. She tested
the glue to make sure it was dry, then began piling on layers of
adhesive to create the little helmet that all the other rats
sported.

Duane snorted in agreement. “Fair
enough, but I’m no longer a pledge. I’m in.” He waited for
congratulations. Lexie managed a weak smile.

“
Brian is taking some of
the new guys camping this weekend as a celebration,” he continued.
Lexie blanched, her mind immediately jumping back to the night on
the mountainside, the terror of the attack still fresh in her
mind.

“
Duane, are you sure that’s
smart? The wolf attacks have increased.”

“
Lexie!” Renee barked from
across the room. “Everyone else is done. You’ve got five minutes
left. Step it up!” Lexie flinched.

Duane scooted off the desk and spoke
quieter so as not to invoke more of Renee’s ire. “Nah. All the
attacks have been on lone lumberjacks or hunters. There will be at
least four of us, making a shit-ton of noise and acting like crazy
people. No wild animal will come within a hundred miles of us.
Besides, we’re heading south, east of town, back towards the Creek.
There’s never been an attack there. It’s probably out of their
territory.”

“
I don’t think they have a
territory, Duane.”

Duane groaned. “You’re worse than my
mom. We’ll be fine.”

With that, Renee stormed towards them
both, a royal rage bursting red beneath her skin.

“
Christ,” Duane said.
“What’s up with her?”

“
Duane. Outside,” Renee
scolded. “Lexie, finish up. I’m waiting on you.”

“
Renee, chill. I’m just
keeping her company,” Duane insisted.

“
You’re keeping her
distracted.”

“
Lexie’s taking care of her
business, why do you have to get up in mine?”

“
Duane, stop sassing me and
get out,” Renee said, pointing to the door.

“
Renee,
seriously--”

But he couldn’t finish. Renee wrapped
her reedy fingers around his bicep and jerked him towards the door.
He let out an incredulous laugh as she forced him into the hall.
The steel door fell closed with a clang behind them.

Lexie burst into a flurry of activity,
smoothing out the adhesive attaching the metal bits to the skull of
her sleeping rodent, and placing him in the cage, a furry ball of
drugged, space-rat slumber. Next class her technical prowess would
be tested when she would wire up Falafel in an attempt to give him
a tiny, electrical rat-gasm.

If Lexie could wire the kinds of things
Archer made her feel, she might be inclined to go under the knife
herself, she thought as she packed up her things. Just as she
finished washing her hands, Duane slipped back into the room, his
face ashen and eyes downcast.

“
Hey,” Lexie said. He
ignored her as the alkaline scent of his anxiety filled her
nose.

Renee followed him in, removing her lab
coat and hanging it in the office. She jangled her keys as Duane
packed his bag and rushed out of the room.

“
Bye,” Lexie called after
him, but he didn’t respond.

Renee flipped off the lights, bank by
bank, stoic silence replacing the hum of florescence. She stood
outside the lab, still jingling her keys. Her ill mood hung over
both their heads as Renee locked the door behind them and followed
her out.

“
My partner bailed on me. I
don’t know if you noticed,” Lexie said.

“
You shouldn’t have to rely
on someone else to do your work. We don’t pair people up because
it’s a two-woman job, we do it because rats are expensive and
time-consuming to raise.” Renee’s frank lack of sympathy took Lexie
by surprise.

“
How can you measure me
against the other students when I’m working alone?” Lexie
demanded.

“
I’m not measuring you
against the other students, I’m measuring you against your
potential. That sanctimonious little herbivore wasn’t helping you
anyway.” Renee’s step quickened, her long legs making it difficult
for Lexie to keep up. “You need to learn to focus on the task at
hand and stop flirting with boys when you need to work.”

Lexie stopped short. “Excuse me?
Duane’s a friend. He was helping.”

“
Whatever. I don’t give a
shit about your crushes. We need to talk.”

Lexie bit her lip. The opinions that
Renee and the rest had trained Lexie to express now percolated in
her head, but all her criticisms were aimed back at the Pack and
their hypocrisy. She couldn’t wait to return to Archer’s side,
where she could be quiet and she could be understood.

“
About that night--” Renee
whispered.

Lexie shook her head, not wanting to
remember any of that weekend’s events, except for Archer’s body
weight, her taste, and her voice. The rest was detritus she was
happy to let unravel like waking from a nightmare.

“
Why did you run?” Renee
kept her voice low, but Lexie could still hear the hurt behind
it.

Outside, the sun was warm and the sky
was clear. Lexie wished she was lying naked in the treehouse with
Archer instead of fighting with Renee. “You were beating the shit
out of a stranger while he pleaded for his life. What kind of
sociopath would stick around for that?”

“
He was a werewolf,” Renee
said at full volume, forgetting herself for a moment. She lowered
her voice to a hiss. “He was. He changed right after you ran
away.”

“
I believe you.”

Renee narrowed her eyes, waiting as a
cloud of students scurried by.

“
You do?” Renee shook her
head. “Of course you do. Then why did you run?”

“
I couldn’t watch you do
that.”

“
It’s not so bad. They
don’t die until they turn. Then it’s easy to kill them.”

Lexie looked down at the sidewalk,
biting her tongue. She wanted to trust Renee. She needed another
anchor on this wicked journey, unsure that she could trust her own
judgment when it was so clearly clouded by her growing love of
Archer.

“
What is going on with you
all?” Lexie asked. “I was so excited to meet the Pack. And now . .
.”

“
Just the Pack?” Renee
asked.

Lexie shook her head, unsure of Renee’s
meaning.

“
Never mind. I just thought
you and I had something going.” She tried to dismiss her concern
with a flick of her hand, but disappointment dragged forehead to
furrow. “Whatever. Fuck it. I know you’ve got a new thing going
on.”

“
You do?”

Renee rolled her eyes.

“
Oh,” Lexie’s ears grew
warm. Her mind strayed to Archer laying naked in a sunbeam on the
slatted floor of what was becoming their home. Guilt slithered
against her heart. She liked Renee, even against her better
judgment, and perhaps in different circumstances she would like to
lay alongside her and wonder at the possibilities and permutations
of their bodies. But Lexie was so enraptured with Archer that even
homework came in a distant second to the mindless bliss of idling
hours away in her arms.

Renee shook her head and swatted away
Lexie’s unspoken rebuff. “Forget I said anything.” She sighed,
changing the subject with another confession. “We’re losing,
Lexie.”

“
What?”

“
We’ve been fighting the
werewolves for years and their numbers have only grown. We’re
losing. And Blythe thinks you might help.”

“
Why me?”

“
I don’t know why Blythe
wants you. Maybe because you know this area. Whatever the reason,
she was pretty upset when you ran.”

“
I didn’t believe you
then.”

“
What changed?”

Lexie sighed, wishing she could confide
in Renee, but listening to her better judgment when it told her to
keep some of her cards close to her chest. “I asked
around.”

“
Lexie, I have never been
anything but honest with you, so please trust me now. Blythe thinks
you’re special, and I’m inclined to believe her. I’m sorry we
scared you; I’ve been at this for so long, I forget how ugly it can
seem. I don’t blame you for running. But the fact is, we need your
help. Blythe and I disagree on a lot of things. If I were in
control, a whole hell of a lot would be different. But right now,
Blythe’s in charge, and she’s got her own ideas of how to handle
this situation. And one of those ideas is getting you
involved.”

Lexie shook her head. “This is all
about werewolves, huh?”

“
We like you, Lexie. We
just get lost in our own shit sometimes. But we’re working on it.
I’m working on it.”

“
Okay,” Lexie
said.

“
So are you in?” Renee
asked. “We have another mission next week. Blythe insists you come
along.”

“
After bathing in the
majestic scene at the campfire, my family returned to our den and
spoke of what was to come. Our parents explained to us the choice
we faced, but it was clear that it had been agreed upon already.
Under the light of the full moon, our tiny Pack decided to become
human.

“
My brother, Sage,
abhorred the idea, to live in hiding alongside those who would
delight in and profit from the murder of our family. So, he chose
instead to venture out on his own, staying in wolf-form, to find a
partner and create his own pack. My parents were devastated to lose
him at such a young age, but they didn’t stop him. They knew no
better if their plan was the right one. That night he walked north,
towards the tundra, where he believed no murderous human would
follow.

“
After watching Sage
disappear into the night, the three of us remained, huddled in our
cave, contemplating our future. We spoke of where we would go, who
we would be. My father was the first to decide. He chose to be a
male, knowing the privileges available to him in that role, and it
hewed to his honed skills of fighting and hunting. As a
human-shaped father and husband, he could perform roles not so
different between pack life and human life. He modeled himself
after a French naturalist who was one of the first to encounter the
natives in our territory--a fair man, with blue eyes, silver hair,
a strong nose, and a gentle mouth. He stood with dignity and
intelligence. His handsomeness was subtle yet undeniable. That
choice fit my father well; he was the fairest of all the werewolves
of our pack, with light grey fur and cool, blue eyes. It was a safe
choice, a right choice. He would be able to provide and care for
our family moving through many communities with the privilege of a
white man.

My mother thought longer
about it, knowing too well the meager status of women in human
societies. She would have to sacrifice her role as the leader of a
tribe and subsume her natural alpha status to conform to the rules
ascribed to the human gender. It was a difficult choice, but she
longed to be openly partnered with my father, which would be
infinitely easier, particularly with a child, if she were in female
form. She recalled a
klootchman
from the tribe near our territory. She was an
elder, a warrior in her youth who had used her acumen in war to
become a healer and a mother once she reached the proper age. Her
hair was as black as coal, her eyes were dark and deep. My mother,
too, was black, with classic lupine yellow eyes. As with my father,
it was a perfect fit.

“
My parents’ minds made
up, they looked to me, their tiny, clumsy cub. I didn’t know what
they were asking of me at first. They were becoming human; I knew
I’d do the same. But, they gave me a choice. They asked me what I
wanted to look like, what kind of human I wanted to be. I had only
known few humans in my short life; I had little to go on. To give
me, so young, the choice among infinite paths . . .”

Lexie was stunned with envy. To choose
the body, the face, the identity of who you wanted to be? A pit
formed in her stomach, pulsing with all the self-loathing she had
felt for a lifetime. To choose to be someone else, to be given the
option as soon as she developed the faculty to speak in full
sentences, to decide the path her life would take based on a
childhood choice?

“
What did you
do?”

“
What would you do?” Archer
raised an eyebrow.

“
I’d pick the most
beautiful person I knew.”

Archer placed her finger on the tip of
her nose. Bingo.

“
I knew that night I wanted
to be that woman I saw by the fireside. I wanted to dance and spin
and smile like that, every day for the rest of my life. I thought
that’s what womanhood was. Freedom.”

“
What do you think
now?”

Archer laughed heartily as her
answer.

“
The three of us stood in
the moonlight that night and transformed ourselves, our minds
holding onto the images of our human forms, of our new family, of
our new life together, unafraid of being gunned down in the
night.”