Lunatic Fringe (30 page)

“
Yes, because he was
overwhelmed. This core rage that you have,” she patted Lexie’s
chest, “it’s a weapon. Even without teeth or claws, sometimes all
you need is the rage to win, because rage is a refusal of logic or
even self-preservation. It’s a hatred that has the potential for
great destruction. But rage is strong enough that it can own you,
too. That’s what tends to happen to the half-blood males. They lose
their minds, sometimes their memories.”

“
But when I turned, my mind
remained.”

“
True. But you’re female.
You’ve been conditioned to the fluctuations of hormones. Everyone’s
response is different.”

Lexie didn’t buy it; it sounded too
pat, but she wasn’t sure enough to say so. She didn’t need
to.

“
Human women are
conditioned from birth to control themselves, to pretend nothing of
the animal exists within them at all,” Archer said. “They are told
to remove their hair, to hide natural odors, to always be kind,
receptive and passive, hiding all their animal instincts. They are
taught to stay in control even when losing it. Human men don’t have
such training. When they get bitten, it’s a powerful force that
overtakes them.”

“
Blythe calls it
‘testosterone poisoning’.”

“
Hah. Kind of, I suppose. I
suspect testosterone is a key player in the change. At any rate,
it’s a wicked brew that women seem to handle better than
men.”

Lexie looked unsatisfied and Archer
shrugged. “Feminists like the Pack get a bad rap for hating men.
But it’s a defense mechanism in response to the hatred men have for
women. For every nice guy like your dad, there’s another man who
turns his desire for women into contempt, or exaltation, which is
just as dehumanizing. Add super-strength and a healthy dose of
animal rage and, well, you grew up here. You know how it is.
Half-bloods can’t control their change, but they do have that rage
you mentioned. Blind and brutal.”

“
The wolf that attacked me
didn’t seem blind and brutal. He knew exactly what he was
doing.”

“
That’s because he was a
full-blood. His kind are the intermediary between purebloods and
half-bloods. He’s one of the werewolves responsible for turning the
half-bloods. He was born a wolf, and he’ll always be a wolf. His
kin are responsible for many, many deaths, including those of my
pack.”

“
Oh my god,
really?”

“
That charred area where I
found you, where he found you first, that was where we warred years
ago. And, as you may suspect, it’s where we lost.”

“
Did any
survive?”

“
Some. But the pack itself
didn’t. I was exiled and my partner’s body burned. Our peacespeaker
died along with them, and most of the Morloc males ran
free.”

“
Your what?”

“
Peacespeaker. A shaman of
sorts, a human diplomat who can mediate conflict between warring
packs and communicate between werewolves and humans.”

“
Cool.”

“
She was very cool
indeed.”

“
Was she hot?”

“
Quite.”

“
Did you. . ?” Lexie asked
with flirty eyebrow.

“
No, ma’am. That’s a big
taboo among my kind. No rolling around between werewolves and
peacespeakers, unless it’s the violent kind of rolling.”

Lexie popped another grape in her
mouth.

“
So, if male half-bloods go
all aggro because they haven’t been socialized to be docile like
women, and full-bloods are wild beasts to begin with, where did my
rage come from? I never had this burning attack instinct until I
turned.”

Archer laughed, deep and rich. “You
absolutely had this inside you before you changed. What your wolf
side gave you was the ability to feel it and turn it into action.
In our society, women are not allowed their rage. But predators
always are.”

Lexie turned to her side to face
Archer. “Are you afraid of them?”

“
Who? The full-bloods? No,
I’ll always have the upper-hand with them.”

“
No, I mean the
Pack.”

Archer chuckled, shaking her
head.

“
Now your dad, that’s a
different story,” Archer joked.

Lexie laughed aloud, realizing in that
moment the dissonance that had become her daily life. Would her
father be more upset she was potentially a lesbian or potentially a
blood-thirsty beast? She didn’t know, though she was leaning
towards ‘werewolf’.

“
They want me to join them,
you know.”

“
The Pack?”

Lexie nodded.

Archer considered this,
silently.

“
You know what they do,
right?” Lexie asked.

“
Yes,” Archer said. “And I
do my best to stay out of their way.”

“
I don’t think they care
about females. They’re really invested in these werewolves they say
are sired by the, what was it? Murdoch? Mordor?”

“
Morloc. Yes, Blythe has
been at this for a while,” Archer said.

“
So what they’re doing, you
agree with it?”

Archer shrugged. “While I’d prefer to
attack the source by eliminating the Morloc, you have to realize
that this is a war that has been waging for decades. I have no
problem going to battle to support my interests.”

“
Easy for you to say.
You’re a pure-blood. The Pack is just a bunch of chicks with
weapons.”

“
Don’t underestimate them,”
Archer said, pressing her lips together in a way that indicated she
had no more satisfying answers.

“
How do you know each
other?” Lexie asked.

For the first time since Lexie had
known her, Archer seemed uncomfortable. She shifted her body on the
fleece, and pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear, avoiding
Lexie’s eyes.

“
Blythe is one of the
reasons I left Milton,” she admitted.

“
Were you. . ?”

Archer dropped her head, letting it
hang. “Yes and no. Mostly no. I didn’t come back to rehash the
past. I came to set it right.”

“
How?”

“
By helping take care of
the rogue males.”

“
Then why aren’t you out
there with them?”

“
It’s complicated.” A heavy
silence pervaded the space. “I work better on my own.”

“
Lone wolf.”

Archer nodded. “That’s me.”

Archer traced the tip of her index
finger from Lexie’s scalp down her forehead and nose, grazing
lightly at her lips and ending on her chin. Lexie sighed as her
nerves sizzled beneath her touch.

“
Do they know your secret?”
Archer asked.

Lexie shook her head. “But Renee knows
I’m seeing someone, and after class last week, she said that Blythe
thinks I’m ‘special.’ I don’t know what that means. Either way,
they want me to help them.”

“
What do you think about
that?”

Lexie thought for a moment, unsure of
the answer. “I suppose it feels great, to feel wanted. A month ago,
I would have killed to be invited into a family like that. But now,
with you, I feel wanted in a new, better way.”

“
I do want you. I want you
to be my family.”

Lexie grinned. Archer saw her in a way
the Pack didn’t. Couldn’t. She tugged at Archer’s earlobe. “I want
to go running with you, as you.”

Archer was silent, then,
“Why?”

“
It will be
real.”

“
It will be
strange.”

“
No. It will be us.” Lexie
said, wrapping her arms around Archer’s neck.

They lay next to each other, legs and
arms draped over each other’s bodies, the autumn’s chill not strong
enough yet to cause any discomfort. Lexie felt the picture of
languid elegance as she lay entangled with Archer. The bowstrings
of her muscles eased and her gangliness softened. She felt
womanly.

The thought of her womanliness
delivered an unwelcome thought into her head. “Shoot,” she said,
unfettering herself from Archer’s grasp. “I have to go.”

“
Why?” Archer asked,
catching her hand.

“
I have a study session
with my women’s studies class. I haven’t been in weeks. I need to
show.” Lexie leaned forward and kissed her, before hitting her
playfully on the shoulder. “This evening, okay?
Dinnertime.”

“
Oh,” Archer said,
sulking.

Lexie giggled, reaching for her
clothes. “It’ll be less than four hours, okay?” Dressed, she kissed
Archer again, reticent to go.

She pushed Archer onto her back,
pinning her. Archer giggled and flipped Lexie over, half growling,
half laughing. They pushed back and forth, playing with power and
submission, nibbling at any of the various angles and curves of
their bodies that came within mouth’s reach, testing each other for
strength. Archer pinned her by the shoulder and thigh, resting her
head on Lexie’s chest as they breathed together and waited for
their pulses and breathing to settle. Archer leaned back, drawing
Lexie’s body over hers until they were face to face. Lexie’s legs
wrapped around Archer’s waist, and she rested her elbows on
Archer’s shoulders and stroked her face. They kissed, serene and
open.

Lexie didn’t want to leave. In her
head, calculations of time swirled around each other, determining
how many seconds, kisses, moments, and cat naps could be squeezed
in until the next obligation swept her away from her love. And yet
she was wary of this comfort. Like a soporific spell, Lexie felt as
though she could drift through time lying alongside Archer, letting
life pass by. It was lovely and terrifying.

Her first months at college with the
Pack ignited tiny sparks of ambition inside of Lexie. For the first
time in her life, she found herself entertaining possibilities of
travel and a career outside the limited bounds of her hometown. She
thought of riding planes, horses, rickshaws, camels, of learning
languages and cuisines and romance. Archer was often with her in
these dreams, though sometimes not. These fantasies were bigger
than anything Lexie had dared imagine before, but for some unknown
reason, they felt real and achievable. Like climbing the tree to
this platform nearly a month before, Lexie just needed to run fast
enough for a huge leap that would sustain a flight far enough from
her past.

So, she needed to get to her study
session.

“
Tonight, okay?” Lexie said
as she stepped to the edge of the platform.

“
Do me a favor?” Archer
asked. “Don’t let Blythe know you and I are . . . whatever we
are.”

“
In love?”

“
Yes, that.” Archer
smiled.

Lexie took the memory of that smile as
she leapt through the branches and headed back to town.

Chapter 16

Drizzle splattered Lexie’s skin as she
walked onto campus. The rain inspired a memory of moving in two
months ago--or two million years ago, Lexie couldn’t tell which.
She chose the path that led past Rice Hall and her decimated dorm
room. In the time that passed since the tree toppled into the roof,
it appeared that the better treatment had gone to the culprit
rather than the victim. Little progress had been made to repair the
hole, save some blue tarps shoddily draped to keep out the
rain.

The side door of the dorm was propped
open, and two men passed with boxes and bags, depositing them in a
rented cargo van. Lexie watched them make the trip in and out of
the building twice before she wondered who would be moving out this
close to midterms. She entered the building and followed the hall
to Anna’s room. Anna sat on her bare mattress, gingerly folding her
clothes and placing them in a suitcase. Lexie knocked on the open
door.

Anna looked up, her expression vacant
until she recognized Lexie and smiled faintly.

“
Hey, Anna,” Lexie said.
“What’s going on?”

“
I’m leaving. Just for a
while.”

“
Why?”

Anna furrowed her brow, incredulous.
“You didn’t hear?”

“
Hear what?”

Anna’s chin trembled. “Close the
door.”

Lexie stepped into the room, closing
the door behind her. As soon as the latch clicked, tears streamed
from Anna’s eyes.

Lexie rushed to her side as Anna hid
her face in her hands.

“
They just won’t do shit,”
she spat out through her sobs.

“
Who won’t?”

“
Fern! The administration!
I’ve put so much time and energy into this stupid school, and
they’re treating me like a leper. No, they’re treating me like a
whore.”

Lexie rubbed her back, not wanting to
ask another question but desperate to know what Anna was talking
about.

“
Two weeks ago I went to a
party at Phi Kappa Phi. I was there for a while and drank, but no
more than usual. I got kind of dizzy when I was dancing, so I went
upstairs to find a place to lie down. I was on a sofa watching the
ceiling spin when Brian walked in with one of his frat brothers. I
tried to get up, but I was too fucked up to stand.”