Lust on the Rocks (15 page)

“No thanks.  I’ll be okay.”  Jess put the damp washcloth back on her head, and lay back against the sofa.

Sam peered at her.  How could she be so sure?  Eyes closed and hair a disheveled mess, her natural peach tones were painfully missing.  Food poisoning could be serious, deadly.  Then apprehension marched back in and took over.  Was it a disease?

Anxiety spread like the plague.  After all, Jess had yet to confess the reason for her visit.  Was this it?  Did she have some kind of illness?  Hell, vomiting could be a sign of any number of conditions.  Food bacteria, intestinal bugs...

She’d ask Jen.  Jennifer Hamilton was not only the smartest woman she knew, but a doctor.  Granted, a cardiologist, but so what.  You had to go through the same medical school to get there.  You had to pick up something about everything, right?

Yes.  Resolution poured through her.  Jen would know and arm her with knowledge.  Sam knew she could help the kid get through anything, once she had a handle on the details, but
damn it
she needed to know what she was up against.

Jess’ refusal to talk was coming to an end.

 “Hey...”  Vic came up from behind and placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders, his touch warm and solid.  Comforting.  “It’s taken care of in there.”

Sam reached up and placed a hand over one of his, giving it a light pat.  “Thank you.”

Next to her, Jessica’s long-lashed lids eased open and she looked up at him.  “Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem,” he replied, his voice almost a caress.

Sam ran her fingers back and forth across his, taking pleasure in the soft skin of his large masculine hands, then curled hers beneath his palm.  Vic was a sweetheart.  A definite keeper.

She stilled as the flippant thought swirled inside her.

Where did that come from
?

A swarm of butterflies battered against her ribs as he bent down and kissed the top of her head.  “I’ll call you later.”

His words registered in a tangle of thought.  “Okay,” she mumbled, torn between his goodbye and the strange feelings tumbling through her.  “Sure.”

He squeezed her hand before withdrawing his from her grasp.  “I hope you feel better, Jessica.”

She nodded and with that, Vic was gone.

Sam didn’t bother to see him to the door.  He knew the way out.  And the way in, came the whisper from the corners of her mind.  She batted away the foolishness.

Don’t get so worked up
.  Vic was a nice guy.  She liked him, respected him.  He was her lover and coworker and these feelings were about friendship, nothing more.

Sam forced her focus back on Jessica and the reality of what lay ahead.  “Let me wet the cloth again.”

“Don’t bother.”

Sam stopped midstream.  “What?”

“It won’t do any good.”  Jessica rolled her head to face Sam.  “I’m pregnant.”

Chapter Twelve

“You’re
what
?”

“Pregnant.”  Jessica pressed her eyes shut as the tears pushed out from the corners.  She didn’t care that Sam was shocked.  Her charade was over.  It wasn’t like she could hide it forever and before long, everyone would know.

Including her father.

“How did this happen?”

Jessica sucked in a deep breath, then expelled it in a rush.  And opened her eyes. 
Was she serious
?

“I assume it’s Luke’s…”

“Of course,” she snapped. 
Of course it is
.  “But he doesn’t know about it...yet.”

“What?”  Sam sat upright and nearly fell off the sofa, twisting to face her fully.  “For God’s sake, why not?”

Because he’ll freak out?  He might leave?

Her stomach turned, and fear began to swallow her whole.  “I don’t know...”

“What do you mean,
you don’t know
?  If you’re pregnant, he damn well needs to know about it.”

Jessica didn’t like how Sam’s tone had hardened.  She was morphing from soothing older sister to ugly harping shrew.  “I know, I know.”  She crossed her arms and hugged her body tight, then pulled her gaze from Sam to stare at the sofa table.  “I didn’t know how to tell him, is all.  It’s not that easy, ya know.  To tell a guy he’s gonna be a father?”

“You spit it out.  You tell him you’re pregnant.  You—” Sam clamped shut for a moment and when Jessica turned to see why, she cringed at the disapproval on her sister’s face.

“How could you let this happen, Jess?”

Anxiety skated up her spine.

“Weren’t you using protection?”

Regret trickled into her heart.  No.  Not always.  Not every single time.  “He said he would pull out.”

Sam moaned.

“Good sex is about both of us,” Jessica defended.  “I just wanted it to feel good for him, ya know?”

“It does, Jess.  Every time he enters you, coat or no coat, it feels like the Fourth of July.”

A sense of stupidity enveloped her.  Why did her sister have to be so blunt?  Jessica returned focus to the glossy black table, littered with candles on plates of rocks, health nut magazines and some faceless sculpture.

Sam heaved a heavy sigh and pulled the hair from her face, securing it back with a tight fist as she sat perched on the edge of her seat.  “This is serious.”

Jessica closed her eyes.  Another tide of tears swamped her, flushing the strength from her limbs. 
Dick Tracy
.

“You have some decisions to make.”

The walls started caving.  What did Sam think she was here for? She wasn’t ready to make decisions, didn’t Sam get that?  “I know, I know, but I’m not ready.  It’s why I didn’t say anything—I don’t have any answers!”

Sam nodded.  “I understand, but time is not on your side with this one.  And Luke needs to know.  He needs to go through this with you.  It’s his child as much as yours, Jess.”

Jessica hoped for the zillionth time that she would miscarry.  Ignoring the sliver of guilt that snaked through her gut, she knew that would solve everything.  No decisions, out of her hands, it would be problem solved.

Then she could continue with life as she knew it.

But everything she read online indicated the vomiting was a bad sign.  It meant the baby was settling in for the long haul.  This pregnancy wasn’t going anywhere, except sending her straight to—

“I’ll help you.  You know that, right?”  Sam brushed the hair from around her face.  “Whatever you need, I’ll help you get it.”

Jess wondered if she meant abortion, but only nodded.  She couldn’t think about that right now.  At least Sam was willing to help her take care of it—whatever she was going to do.  At least her big sister would be there for her.

“But you need to tell Luke soon.”  She let her hand fall to her lap.

Jessica could only guess what was going through her mind.  She wasn’t happy, that much was obvious, but she wasn’t supportive, either.  Sam wasn’t falling over herself to sympathize with her sister, defend her choices, her actions…  And why not?  A flash of resentment charged through Jessica.  She always stood by her in the past.  Always stuck up for her with Mom and Dad, helped her get through the hassles of school.

Energized by a fresh round of injustice, she locked onto Sam.  What was holding her back now?  Jessica probed the familiar brown eyes, distant and withdrawn, and searched for any semblance of the woman she knew.  Her sister, her pal, the person who knew her inside and out, backwards and forwards.  The one who never let her down in a jam.  She needed her.  Her advice, her support, her block and defense against the world at large.

“What do you think I should do?”

Sam looked at her and for a long moment, said nothing.  She only looked.

The disappointment Jessica saw in her eyes made her want to jump up and run.  To her bedroom, out of town—she wanted to be anywhere but here.  While she wasn’t happy about this pregnancy either, she couldn’t take the thought of Sam being disappointed in her.

“This has to come from you, Jess.  What I think doesn’t matter.”

“But it does.  You know about these things.  You know what women
do
.”

“Do?  Women use contraception, Jess, that’s what they do.  They don’t get pregnant.”

Jessica gaped at her sister and her heart sank.  It wasn’t the response she was looking for.

“I’m
sorry
.  I didn’t mean it like that.”  She wrapped an arm around Jessica and pulled her close.  “This has all come as a shock to me.”  She ran a hand over top of Jessica’s head and stroked her hair.  “I’m just not thinking straight.”

But Jessica knew it was the obvious reaction. 
How could you
? 
How could you let yourself get pregnant
?  A damn good question she knew, but shit happened.  Lovers got carried away in the moment and birth control was a downer.  A mood killer.  Something she was sure Sam would have understood.

She was cool.  She understood hot sex, untamed passion.  She understood how these things could happen.  Jessica sniffled.  At least she thought she did.

But tonight, Sam sounded more like her parents.

“We’ll figure something out, punk, don’t worry,” Sam said and rocked her gently.  “We’ll get through this—together.”

Relief washed through Jessica at the use of her pet name, the one that seemed to surface at the most delicate of times.  Hope surged.  Maybe it meant Sam wasn’t judging her after all.  “I’m scared.”  But at least now it felt like she was starting the process of figuring it out—with the help of her best friend.  “I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

Sam continued to stroke her hair and it was calming, comforting.  Like when she was a little girl.  Sam would tuck her in, stroke her hair a few times and then roll her onto her side and rub her back.

Fourteen years her senior, Jessica never questioned her role.  Even after Sam moved out, she never thought twice about why Sam took time out for her kid sister.  It had been a given.  She was there and always would be.  In her heart of hearts, Jessica knew Sam wouldn’t ditch her.  Strong arms tugged her into a hug and Jessica collapsed into their strength.  She pressed into her sister’s warmth.  This was the Sam she knew and loved, the woman who never turned her back on a kid in trouble.  Just like the ones downtown.  True delinquents some of them, but Sam showed up once a week and took the time to listen, to help them with their problems, legal or otherwise.

Well
she
needed her now.  Her guidance, her experience.  Jessica needed all the help she could get to handle what came next.  The decisions.

# # #

Beneath the streams of warm water, Sam stood still.  Soaped, shampooed, her mind and body were wrenched and bound with thoughts of Jess. 
Poor punk
.  Of course she was scared.

Because she was smart.

This was high stakes kind of trouble she was in.  It involved the lives of others, the life of an unborn child and the choices she made from here on out would affect every one of them.

Irrevocably.

But Jess was a fighter.  She would get through this and make the right decision.  Sam felt like a hammer slammed her chest. 
The right decision
.  Did anyone really know what that was?

Sliding her fingers through slicked-down curls, Sam turned and squeezed the remainder of almond-ginger conditioner from her hair.  She cranked the faucet to hot, the showerhead to massage mode and closed her eyes.  Hotter bullets of water pelted her back and shoulders and she inhaled deep and full.  She focused on the expansion of her chest walls, the pounding water, then the slow release of her breath as she exhaled.

Calm.  Relax.  Recenter.

Sam realized at once there was no terrific choice here.  Nor would there be an easy one.  Whatever Jessica decided would have tremendous consequences.  Big, long-lasting consequences.  Keeping a baby or giving it up.

Eliminating it altogether?

Sam winced.  If nothing else, this would force maturity on Jess.  Like being thrown onto the streets at thirteen, it would be tough, no matter which way she went.

And Luke.  What would he do?  Would he demand she terminate the pregnancy? 
Good God
, would he propose?  Would she accept?

Sam’s nerves crackled at the possibility.  Jessica wouldn’t really quit school and consider starting a family, would she?

She shuddered.  Youthful idealism was capable of all kinds of irrationality.  Maybe Luke would turn his back on her.  Her heart kicked up its pace as steam billowed around her.  Maybe he would run and leave no chance for a well-intentioned but doomed-from-the-start marriage.

No.  Sam’s instinct cut through.  Not Luke.  He wasn’t going anywhere.  He was one of the good guys.  Like Vic.  Her breathing grew shallow as the name hung. 
Vic
.

Chapter Thirteen

“You sure you don’t want to wait for me?” Sam asked.  Standing by the kitchen bar, she pulled the car keys from her small leather purse and snapped it closed.  Decked out in sundress and heels she was on her way to lunch with her best friend.  They were going to the Gables today, which meant she could be back in little more than an hour.  “Sure you don’t want the moral support?”

Standing by the kitchen sink, Jessica cringed.  “Positive.”

“You’re doing the right thing.”

“Sure.”  Whatever.  She just wanted it over and done.

“Well then if you don’t need me, I’ll be back around four,” Sam said, and cruised to the door.  “If Vic calls, tell him I’m on my cell.”

Jess’ shoulders drooped.  “Sure.”

“Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yep,” Jess said, and fought the rising tide of fear as she was about to be left alone.  Because she insisted.  Sam offered to stay, but she had refused.  She had to deal with Luke on her own.

“Okay.”  Sam sighed.  “I’m going, then.”

Jess lifted a hand.  “Bye.”

“Bye,” she returned, and gave a small smile before softly closing the door behind her.

Jessica stared at the piece of paper.  It jumped out at her from the black stone counter, Luke’s number scrawled across it in his large, loose handwriting.

It’s now or never, she rued, and picked up the remote handset sitting next to the paper.  Shaky fingers pressed the buttons.  What would he say?  Will he be cool?  Will he freak?