Lust on the Rocks (44 page)

“I’m serious, Vic.”  It pained her to admit it but she needed him to hear her, to know the truth.  “I’m not the kind of woman that can give you what you need—the kind of life you need.”

Vic took her face in his hands, his grasp warm and unsettling.  “You do it every second I’m with you.”

In the distant background, her mind recognized the sounds of music, laughter, a room full of well-wishers here to celebrate her success, her achievements, her future.  Yet without Vic, it felt hollow, meaningless.

But she was grasping at air, wasn’t she?  She was dreaming the impossible.  Hope warred with fear.  “You need
kids
, Vic.  And lots of them.”  She pushed as hard as she could.  “I don’t.  Chaotic, impulsive, they’ll turn your world upside down—they can’t help it.  That’s who they are.”

“Exactly what I’m hoping for.”

“I mean it.”  Resolve teetered, but she kicked it up a notch.  “Life as you know it will
change
, Vic.  Once kids enter the picture, life isn’t fun and games anymore.”  Sam recalled Patty’s ordeal with Blake’s stroke all too well.  “It’s work.  Commitment.  Duty.”

“Who are you trying to convince?”  A small smirk pulled at his mouth, but she knew the pain behind the desire.  His motivations didn’t stem from happy and carefree—they were driven by sorrow and grief.

By need.  She tightened her hands around the railing.  “I mean it, Vic.  You don’t understand.  Your life will be turned upside down—
forever
.”

He stilled.  “My life was turned upside down fifteen years ago. 
Forever
.  I want it turned right side up again.”

Vic moved toward her and every cell in her body ran for cover.  He reached around her body and gently pulled her hands from their death grip, enfolded them within his own, and clamped down tight.  The connection felt warm, secure. 
Right
.

The black of his eyes became fluid.  “Sam, being with you is the first real joy I’ve had since Anna died.  I want it to continue.  Wherever it leads, wherever it takes me, I want to follow.  I need you, Sam.  More than I ever dreamed possible.  I need you. 
You
.”

Locked within his grip, she ached for it to be true.  Sam longed to follow the impossible dream and live a life with him.  Her throat grew taut.  But she didn’t do fairy-tales.  She lived in reality.

“Tell me you’ll give us another shot.”

Tears filled her eyes.  Her heart pounded.  For once in her life, Sam didn’t know what to do.  She couldn’t bear the thought of walking away, but the thought of staying unsettled her even more.  “What if I can’t?” she whispered, her throat now painfully constricted.  “What if I’m not cut out for it?”

“I’m only asking that you try.”

She shivered.  Marriage, family.  She knew what he wanted.  He may say it was only about her but she knew better.

But what did
she
want?  Staring into the now familiar dark eyes, the ones she gazed at through the moonlight, stared into across the courtroom, opened to in the bedroom, could she continue?  Could she look into these eyes for years to come?  Could she face the future, come what may? 
Kids
?  Her heartbeat felt like it vanished, carrying her breath away with it.

This was it.  Her last chance.  Vic was asking her to try again, knowing what lay ahead.  Knowing it might not work but still wanting to try.  For everything.

Vic wanted the whole package.

What could she say?  What could she possibly say to change his mind?  Or hers.

Deep in the throes of her heart, a secret wish escaped.  Softly floating, it sought to be set free. 
This was some-thing she wanted
.  This man.

Children.  Family.  She had been raised surrounded by family.  It had been the most difficult time in her life.  The lump welled high and tight in her throat.  But it had also been the most important part of her life.

If only she could trust it to work.

His eyes moved back and forth across hers.  He squeezed her hands.  “Tell me you won’t give up on us, Sam.”

Nudged from somewhere in the night, from deep in her soul, she murmured, “No guarantees.”

Her agreement was like a match to his smile.  “Life doesn’t work on guarantees, Sam.  It works off energy.”

Chills raced across her skin.  The advice she gave him that day in her condo, after his beach trauma.  She nodded and a hot tear slipped free.  And then she smiled.  She couldn’t believe she was doing this—fear suddenly kicked in her chest and screamed
this was crazy
!

But she was.  “Okay,” she uttered.  “Okay.”

Vic withdrew his hands and cupped them around her face.  “I love you, Samantha Rawlings.”  He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips.  “No matter what happens, I love you.”

Trembling, she whispered, “Me, too.”

And meant it.  With the power of the universe, she meant it.

Vic curved a finger and brushed an errant tear from her cheek.  “May I have this dance?”

Anxiety collided with yearning.

“Dance?”

“Yes, you know, as in two people move about the ballroom, swept away by the music?”

Sam emitted a half-groan, half-chuckle.  Locking onto the playful tease, she smiled.  “Dance.”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”  A tingle of excitement zipped up her spine.  “We’ll dance.”

Vic took her by the hand and trepidation shot into his eyes.  “You’re trembling.”

“I’m
scared
, damn it,” she said, nervous laughter injected into their midst.  “I thought we went through this.”

He grinned at her admission, leaned over and grazed her nose with his, a gesture she had come to adore.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of you.”

Exactly what I’m afraid of
, she thought, but the choice had been made.  She was following her heart, wherever it may lead.  Vic laced his fingers through hers and with a slight tug, led her back into the ballroom.  Their entrance, though marked by a few curious observers, was mostly ignored.

He swung her onto the floor in a willowy spin and clasped her left hand in his right, the other diving low and solid to the small of her back.  When he pulled her close and kissed her, soft and full and blatantly lustful, her sensibilities scattered like confetti. 
Let the celebrations begin
!

Over his shoulder, Sam spotted Jen, and the two shared a smile.  It only crossed a room, but it could have crossed miles.  She was the one person here who understood the significance of this moment...  And could share it with her.

Jen set her champagne glass down on a nearby table, then put two fingers to her lips and blew Sam a kiss.  She waved goodbye. 
You’re on your own now.

Thrilled and scared to death at the same time, Sam turned to Vic.  “Looks like I’ve been abandoned by my date.”

“Me, too.”  He cast a glance over her shoulder and she followed his line of sight.  The petite brunette he escorted this evening was walking toward the dance floor on the arm of a fellow attorney.

Flustered, Sam had completely forgotten about the girl.  “Won’t she mind?”

“Diego’s cousin?”  Vic lifted his brow.  “I doubt it.”

Diego’s cousin
.  Relieved excitement coursed through her body.  She should have known.  Seemed like the man had hundreds of them, though she was only familiar with one and that was her friend Sydney Flores—a six foot volleyball player and complete opposite to the young woman here tonight.  Sam looked into Vic’s eyes and replied, “Well then, I guess that just leaves you and me.”

“Together.”

“Alone.”

He grinned.  “Not for long, I hope.”

“
What
?”

But the gleam in his eye warmed her heart.

“You’re not fooling me.”  He winked and patted her behind.  “Your body is made for children.”

“Bite your tongue.”

“It’s in your blood.”

“Blood line,
maybe
.”  She tried to scoff, but Vic hugged her to the rock of his chest, his strong arm insistent.

“No.  Your
blood
.  I’ve got your number, lady.  I hap-pen to know what you do in your spare time.  For fun.”

“Hmmm…”  Sam knew he meant her mentor program, but her thoughts preferred the more salacious.  “Speaking of which,” she lowered her voice.  “My well’s been running a little dry of late.”

“I can take care of that.”  He pecked her with a kiss, then carried her across the floor with another spin.  Whether she was dizzy from the dance or from the emotional roller coaster she had been riding, either way she was good with it.

With him. 
With them
.

With the whole package.

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About the Author:

Dianne Venetta lives in Central Florida with her husband, two children and part-time Yellow Lab Cody-boy!  An avid gardener, she spends her spare time growing organic vegetables, surprised by what she finds there every day.  Who knew there were so many amazing similarities between men and plants?  Women, life and love and her discoveries provide for never-ending fun on her blog: BloominThyme.com.

Look for Dianne Venetta’s other novels:

JENNIFER’S GARDEN

WHISPER PRIVILEGES – coming summer 2012

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