M. Donice Byrd - The Warner Saga (34 page)

“No, Meredith, this is a man’s job. He’s as big as you and he could hurt you if he had a mind to.”

Meredith put her hands on his chest. “He’s not going to hurt me. But he can’t see past his rage for you to hear anything you have to say. This time he needs a mother not a father. He needs to be listened to. We’ll worry about his punishment later.”

“He needs to put that room back in order.”

“And he will. If anything is broken, he can work it off mucking the stables and grooming the horses. But that little boy in there is screaming out for help and all you want to do is silence him.”

“I just want him to stop cussing me.”

“Please, Blake.”

“I’m going to be outside the door – just in case.”

32

Meredith knocked lightly on the door then turned the knob and poked her head inside.
“May I come in, Pete?”

He only stared at her.

She stepped into the room pushing aside clothing still on the hanger with her foot and closed the door behind her.

The room was in complete disarray. Clothing from both the bureau and the wardrobe were strewn everywhere. Every drawer lay on the ground. The mattresses were off the bed frame. The slats were scattered everywhere and the bed frame upended.

My God. Where did the boy get such rage?
she wondered.

Pete sat in the corner, his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms around his legs as though he’d been hugging them. Hugging
himself. His face was tear-stained but his expression hard with his lips tightly sealed and his eyes narrowed at her.

Meredith moved to the corner and joined him on the floor. She set the large notebook and pencil on the floor between them.

“I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time. Do you want to tell me about it?”

Pete shook his head no.

“Things won’t get better unless you tell us what’s wrong,” Meredith said reaching out and gently touching his arm. “Tell me one thing – big or little – that can make things better.”

A minute passed before Pete picked up the tablet and pencil. “B says I’m too big to share a room with Lolly
but she’s too little to be in a room by herself. How can I
proteck
her if I’m in a
diffrent
room?”

Meredith wanted to tell him they were both safe inside their home. The doors were locked at night and Blake and she were across the hall. But how could she downplay his concern if murderers came into their home before and killed their family. In Pete’s mind, if it could happen once, it could happen again.

“I’ll talk to Blake but I’m sure we can put you together in one room. He just thought that you’re at an age where you might prefer privacy. These rooms are all big enough for two beds. At least that way she won’t be kicking you all night. Will that work?”

He nodded and began writing. “I still want a lantern burning at night. Sometimes the fire burns down and it doesn’t put off
ennuf
light for me to see. This house makes noises at night and I can’t go back to sleep because I can’t see into the darkness. And I hate the maids coming in here in the morning to stoke the fire. It scares me to have them in here
specially
if I’m facing away from the fireplace. I can’t move until they leave. I’m twelve years old. I can stoke the fire myself when it gets low.”

“We’ll have the maids leave enough wood so you can take care of the fire yourself in the morning. And we’ll tell them never to enter your room while you’re sleeping.”

Pete put his pencil to the page but did not begin to write. Instead, he eyed her over the tablet. After a minute his eyes filled with tears and he began to write. “Tell Blake to stop trying to steal Lolly from me. She’s
my
sister. She loves me not him. He has you. He doesn’t need her.”

Meredith’s eyes filled with tears as she read it. “Oh, Pete, he’s not trying to steal her from you. He wants both of you to think of him as your father – not just her but both of you. Lolly will always love you her whole life
just like you and she will always love your parents. Loving more than one person doesn’t make us love the first person less.”

Meredith closed the gap between them and put her arm around him.

“Nothing could make Blake happier than if you could accept him as your father. He knows he can never replace your real father. But I promise you, he’s a good man.” She put her hand on the back of his head. “I hope when the baby is born, you will be as good a brother to the baby as you are to Lolly.”

Although they had not told Lolly about the baby yet
, they thought Pete was old enough to know.

Pete began writing again. “If I tell you something will you keep it a secret? You can’t tell Blake or no one else.”

Meredith hesitated long enough to think about his request. She had never kept a secret in her life – she never needed to – but she suspected his secrets were big and deep and he needed to tell someone.

“Yes, Pete, I will hold whatever you tell me in confidence. And unless you’d tell me you want me to share it, I will take it to my grave.”

As he began to write, Pete sniffled and Meredith noticed his chin dimpling as he tried not to cry.

“I’m not a good brother. I could have killed him before he killed her mother but I couldn’t get my nerve up.”

Pete looked straight at Meredith as she read. He turned the tablet back towards himself and added, “I couldn’t pull the trigger.”

“My God.
You haven’t told that to anyone, have you?”

He kept his head down as he lifted his hands and
hesitantly signed, “No.”

“Pete, I don’t know if I could do it either and I’m eight years older than you.”

The twelve-year-old began to cry and Meredith couldn’t do anything but hold him. His tears wet the shoulder of her dress as sobs racked his small frame. She patted and rubbed his back the way her parents had when they comforted her.

“Oh, Pete, no one should have to go through a tragedy like yours. But you’re safe here. You’re safe here with us, I promise. We’ll never let anyone hurt you or Lolly.”

He cried for several minutes and when he got his emotions under control, he wiped his face on his sleeve and closed the notebook.

The sun was beginning to set and the room grew dim. Meredith rose to her feet and reached down to help
Pete up. He winced and put his hand on his side.

“Are you hurt?  You’re wound isn’t bulging, is it?”

He gave her the sign of no.

She looked into his eyes but wasn’t sure he was telling the truth.  Meredith embraced him.

“Thank you for trusting me with your secret.” She pulled away and used her fingertips to brush away some of the tears he’d missed. “Anytime you need someone to talk to, come find me.” He nodded. “Start cleaning up this mess and I’ll go talk to Blake about moving you into Lolly’s room.”

Pete tore the pages from the tablet and threw them in the fire and began picking up.

Blake wasn’t in the hallway; he was in Lolly’s room sitting on the floor playing checkers. And from the looks of the board, it was going to be a resounding victory for Lolly.

Meredith sat on the edge of the bed and watched as they finished their game.

“I won!” Lolly shouted. “I beat Uncle Blake three times a row.”

“She’s a champion checker player, that’s for sure,” Blake said. “How did it go?”

“He’s struggling, Blake. He thinks you’re trying to steal Lolly away from him. He needs to know he’s important and special, too. And he’s worried about Lolly’s safety alone in a room by herself.”

“We’re right across the hall and he’s in the next room.”

“Well, he needs to be in here with her so he can assure himself at night that she’s all right. You know what they’ve been through.”

Meredith didn’t want to say too much in front of Lolly. “Lolly, do you want to go help Pete? He could use a
hand folding his clothes.”

Blake’s brow lowered. “He should clean up his mess himself.”

“He needs time with Lolly and really, Blake, how much help is a four-year-old going to be.”

Blake wanted to point out
they spent all day in the schoolroom together but he deferred to her judgment. “Go ahead, Lolly. Go help Petey. And if he does a good job cleaning his room, we’ll give him his surprise after dinner.”

After Lolly had gone, Meredith confided, “He let me hug him, Blake. He really opened up.”

“Did he tell you anything about the tragedy?”

“A little but he doesn’t want me to tell you.”

“But you’re going to tell me, aren’t you?” he asked with his widest politician’s smile.

“No. I
’m not. When he trusts you, he’ll tell you.” She sensed her response annoyed him but she was not going to betray Pete’s trust. “He’s testing me to see if it’s safe to confide in me.”

“If you and Saunders could move the bed in here tonight, I think you’ll see a change in his attitude. It’ll be easy. He’s already dismantled the bed.”

“Criminy. If it’s already apart, maybe he should move it in here himself.”

“Actually, I think he may h
ave hurt himself. I noticed he was having pain in his side when I helped him to his feet.”

Blake saw Pete at dinner for the first time since their argument. He placed a small notebook on the table next to his plate.

“I’m sorry I threw your notebook and pencil in the
fire, Pete. It was not well done of me at all. When you use up that one, there’s a dozen more in the study, pencils, too and a pair of pencil sharpener’s. I thought you might like to keep one in your pocket.”

“Thank you,” Pete
signed, his gesture slow and his eyes cast down. Lolly said the words aloud despite the fact they all knew the sign. “I’m sorry I c-u-r-s-e-d you, Blake.”

When Pete had to spell a word, Lolly said the letters because she knew all the letters but was too new to her schooling to link them into words yet.

“Pete, I want you to write a note to the maid who brought your tea and apologize to her also.”

Pete nodded.

It wasn’t until they were eating the custard pie from the bakery that Lolly gave Pete her find. “And Uncle Blake found a silver dollar in my ear so I could buy it for you.” The package was wrapped in brown paper and tied with a jute string. If Pete noticed the little chocolate fingerprints on the paper he made no indication of it. “What is it?” Pete asked through Lolly.

“You have to untie the string to find out.”

Pete pulled the string and unfolded the paper. He picked up the pen and looked at the wide metal nib.

“It’s a special pen,” Lolly said. “Look at the book, Petey. Look it. Look it.”

It was obvious who was the most excited. Pete set aside the pen and focused on the book.

“Lolly said there were letters you didn’t know how to make,” Meredith said. “We all admire your beautiful handwriting and thought it was a shame that there were letters that you didn’t know.”

He touched the book reverently before opening it. His eyes got wide as his fingers trace the letter A.

A slight frown marred his expression. “How long do you want me to practice each night?” he signed and Lolly interpreted. He was looking at Blake.

“What do you mean?”

“Pa used to make Petey practice all night.”

With a scowl, Pete snapped his fingers at her trying to make her stop talking.

Blake looked back and forth between the children trying to understand what was going on. “What do you mean he used to make Pete practice all night?”

“Someone paid for their shine with a copy of the
Decoration
of
Inpenance
and Pa made Petey copy the words over and over until they looked the same.”

Blake and Meredith’s eyes locked across the table now understanding why a twelve-year-old barely literate boy had the penmanship of a professional scribe and why there were letters he didn’t know how to form. “You can
practice as much or as little as you want,” Blake said distractedly. “There’s ink on my desk but I’d appreciate it if you’d use your own desk when you practice. Always make sure the lid is on when you’re finished. And if you don’t want to practice at your desk, use your pencil.”

“Have you used ink and pen before?” Meredith asked and Pete shook his head. “I was going to give Lolly a bath after dinner. Perhaps Uncle Blake wouldn’t mind showing you how far to dip your pen and such.”