Mackinnons #02 For All the Right Reasons (21 page)

“I’m afraid I’d get my ears boxed if I said anything against that mule of yours, so I must be talking about a new fence.”

The humor was gone from her voice now. “I know, but there isn’t money for that now.”

“Maybe…”

“Thank you, Alex, but we aren’t at the point of accepting charity just yet.”

After the laundry was carried to the house, Alex went to see about Clovis. A few minutes later he came back to the house, finding Katherine sitting on the back porch again, her bare feet on the top step, her chin resting in one hand that was braced against her knee, the other hand lying limp in her lap.

“I left Clovis in the barn. The wood in that pen of his is so rotten a fly could break it if he happened to land on it. No wonder he gets out all the time. Adrian and I will be over tomorrow with enough lumber to rebuild it.” He was waiting for her to refuse, to remind him that they weren’t charity, but the fight seemed to have gone out of her voice as well as her. He sat down beside her. “Where’s Karin?”

“She was here for a while, but Beau Ridley dropped by and took her over to his place to measure his aunt for new dresses.”

“Who is Beau Ridley?”

“I guess you could say he’s the new boy in town. He’s been coming here every summer for three or four years. He visits his grandmother, Mrs. Carpenter.”

“Why would Karin go riding with him?”

“I don’t know.” She looked at him squarely. “I can tell you’re just full of questions, and I’m telling you I don’t know anything more than Beau Ridley has a rich papa, and a new conveyance.”

Seeing that didn’t sit too well with him, Katherine lifted her head so she could look him in the eye. “Did you and Karin have a fight or something?”

“No, just a little discussion. Why?”

“I was just wondering.”

“Was Karin in a tizzy when she got home?”

“No, not that I noticed.”

He looked over at her, seeing her profile as she stared out into the yard, seeing the way her hair had all come down and was littered with leaves and twigs. He made some comment about her holding that pert little nose of hers up in the air too much and getting her head in the trees and her hair full of leaves and such. Then he took her by the shoulders and half-turned her so the back of her head was in front of him. Using his fingers, he began pulling twigs and leaves from her hair, smoothing out the snarls and tangles as he went. Afterward, he massaged her scalp with his fingers, laughing at the way she sighed and dropped her head forward, resting her chin on her folded arms that were braced against her bent knees. While he braided her hair, she remained motionless, her eyes closed, musical notes of satisfaction drifting upward from her throat. He smiled, feeling the muscles he had held so tightly in check all afternoon relax. It was strange, this friendship he had with Katherine, how he always felt so at ease around her, so easy. He sure as hell couldn’t picture himself sitting on the back porch with any other woman, braiding her hair. Not even Karin.

“I think I had something to do with Karin’s going over to the Ridley place,” he said after a while.

Katherine looked at him. “You sure you two didn’t have words?”

“I told you, we talked.”

“That’s good. Talking can put a lot of things right.”

“Then why do I have the feeling we’re more at cross-purposes than ever?”

“I don’t know. I always thought you both wanted the same thing.”

“We do.”

“Then how can you be at cross-purposes?”

“Because we don’t seem to be wanting them at the same time.”

“Uh-oh! That spells trouble.” Things grew quiet between them, but around the yard the creatures of late evening were just starting to tune up. Before long the bullfrogs down by the creek would start to croak, and over in the thicket, the hoot owl would do his part, the distant yelp of coyotes rounding things out a bit. “I assume you were discussing marriage.”

“No, we weren’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to be a hand-to-mouth dirt farmer all my life. I don’t want to bring children into the world wondering if I can feed them. I have nothing to offer her but a run-down old farm that is only one fifth mine. I think Karin has the right idea about getting away from this place. You stay too long and it begins to get to you, like a sickness.”

“But if you love each other…”

“I thought you’d understand, Kath. Of all the people I know, you’re the one person I thought would understand.”

“I do understand, but I also understand Karin’s feelings. I’m not saying either one of you is right. I’m only thinking there could be a compromise somewhere.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe you could get married, both of you going wherever your destiny leads you, working for the things you want together.”

“And children? Just how do you think we’d manage that with three or four babies trailing after us? Or did you think we could just put a hold on that side of marriage?”

Her face turned red. “I don’t know anything about that side of marriage, so I’m not the right person to ask.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry, Katherine. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“I know. And I didn’t mean to sound like I didn’t understand what you were saying. I was just hoping to give you a little inkling of how a woman feels about things, how they’re different from the way a man feels. A woman feels with her heart, and when she meets the man she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with, it’s only natural for her to want everything to be as perfect as possible, and that means having enough money to get by. A woman is a nurturing creature, and when she sees her man bogged down with worry and indecision, it’s her natural way to want to offer to help, to feel she’s doing her share. When a woman loves, it’s her whole existence. But for a man, love is only one slice out of the pie. And when a woman knows she would forsake everything—family, fortune, dreams, hopes, and even her life for the man she loves, it’s hard for her to accept the fact that he is trying to fit her in with five other slices of equal size.”

“You know an awful lot about love to be a woman who has never been in love.”

“Who said I’ve never been in love?”

“I’ve never heard you mention anything about it.”

She came to her feet. “I’ve never mentioned anything, true, but that’s not the same as never being in love.”

“Well, I’ll be damned!” he said. “Our little Kath in love? Now, who would’ve thought it?”

“Not you, Alex. That’s for certain.”

He stared after her wondering how angry she would be if she knew just how much he did know. He shouldn’t have teased her like that, knowing how she felt about him, he thought, watching her open the door and step softly inside. Just before closing mo door, she turned and said, “Thanks for your help today. I needed someone to keep me from feeling sorry for myself. I’m glad you came by.”

“I am too,” he said, feeling that he had spoken the absolute truth. “And I’m glad we talked.”

And Alex was glad, but as the next few weeks passed, he found he was still as restless as he had been, and it wasn’t getting any better. He knew that was because of all the pressure that was on him. He and Adrian were almost broke, and now Karin was putting more pressure on him by being seen on occasion with that Beau whatever-his-name-was.

He felt it was time to seek his fortune, for it was obvious he needed something more than he had to hold Karin and keep her happy. He didn’t know where he’d find that
something more,
but he knew it wouldn’t be found in Limestone County. It was time for him to move on, to seek his fortune. He prayed to God Karin would still be waiting when he found it.

About this time, Adrian was harboring the same thoughts of getting away, but he had even more reasons than being broke. It was killing him to watch his brother and Karin, then to look at Katherine, seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing there was nothing he could do. He loved Katherine, but that street had no outlet. She loved Alex and Alex was his brother. Over and over again, since they weren’t much more than children, he had tried to show Katherine how he felt, hoping that she might return those feelings. It never did any good. Katherine never encouraged any more from him than his friendship. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life desiring a woman who didn’t want him. Leaving seemed the only choice. He never dreamed that when he decided to go, Alex would want to go with him.

But he did.

A few days later, Alex brought a Waco paper home. The next morning he was reading it over a cup of coffee while Adrian was shaving in the kitchen. Suddenly, something caught his attention: an article reprinted from the
Californian
, dated March 15,1848, that headlined,
GOLD MINE FOUND
. After he read the article to Adrian, it didn’t take Adrian long to decide he was heading for California. After all, he had nothing here to hold him. The woman he secretly loved was in love with his brother, and his fool-headed brother was in love with her sister. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life in this eternal triangle watching himself long for Katherine, while she longed for his brother and his brother longed for Katherine’s sister. A man could go crazy.

Alex and Adrian both knew their money was gone and their hopes along with it. They had needed a break or two. They hadn’t gotten it. What they had gotten was a long, dry spell, a herd of cattle that turned up with hoof-and-mouth disease and had to be destroyed, and a well that turned to salt water. Adrian, nursing a wounded heart, was the first to make the decision to go. For a while, it looked like he was going off to the California gold fields alone because Alex was having a hard time making the decision to leave Karin behind—even for a little while.

But when it came time for Adrian to leave, Alex, knowing his brother was right about their prospects of making a go of farming, knew he had to go with him. News that the Mackinnon brothers, so newly back from the Mexican War, were going to California moved quickly across the dry, brittle fields of Limestone County, spreading faster than a sudden outbreak of chicken pox, according to the county’s only doctor.

Everywhere folks were likely to gather, the news about the Mackinnon boys was the latest bit of gossip: over a game of horseshoes beneath the spreading oak tree behind the smithy’s; among the old war veterans who spent their afternoons whittling in front of the general store, and inside, the younger generation discussed it as they gathered over a game of checkers. The news traveled over the wild grapes that covered most of the fences in the county. It penetrated the thick layers of lather on the men being shaved down at the local barber’s and the profusion of flowers and feathers drooping from the hats the ladies were trying on down at the local millinery. It was yelled from the church steeple as the roof was being repaired, and across the broad back of the plow horse Jeremiah Jones was shoeing. It was whispered over pews at church, and between the sheets by the whores down at the Sundance Saloon. But not once during all the gossip did anyone stop to think just why it was that two men who fought so bravely under General Zach Taylor were still being called the Mackinnon boys.

Only when Katherine pointed it out over dinner on their last night there, did the brothers speculate on the strangeness of it, never coming up with a good explanation, figuring they would come back from California in a few years, and find they were still referred to as the Mackinnon boys.

All things considered, people were mighty sad to see the last of the Mackinnons pull out. And no one was any sadder than Katherine Simon. But by the time they were ready to leave, she was thinking it was just as well, for at least she wouldn’t have to live with the constant reminder that she wanted something she could never have.

After supper on the evening of their departure, Adrian and Katherine volunteered to do the dishes, giving Karin and Alex time to sit on the porch alone. Katherine watched her sister walk from the room, her arm tucked through Alex’s, while she laughed at something he said. Karin had done everything possible, short of threatening to shoot herself, to keep Alex at home, but when nothing worked, she joined the ranks of those wishing them Godspeed and good will, although not with much enthusiasm. To have seen her tonight no one would have guessed this same lovely, perfectly groomed young woman had thrown a fit in the barnyard just a few days past because Alex told her he was leaving, and while doing her most dramatic whirl had slipped and fallen in the pig’s breakfast, commonly known as the slops.

Watching Katherine, Adrian waited until Karin and his brother were out of the room. “Karin will survive,” he said, “but what about you? How are you faring?”

“I’m doing fine,” Katherine said, throwing him a look.

“You can be honest with me. Is it going to be hard on you?”

“Not any harder than it was before.” She turned toward him. “You forget that I’m a veteran at this kind of thing by now.” Then tossing the dish towel at him, she said, “Now, are you going to help me with the dishes, or stand there flapping your jaws all night?”

“Can we do both?” he asked, joining her at the cabinet where she had a tub filled with soapy water.

“No,” she said, “we most certainly cannot. Now dry!” She shoved a cup toward him.

He took it and began drying. “Don’t you wonder just what’s going on out there?” He nodded in the direction of the front porch.

“No.”

“Aren’t you just a little curious?”

She turned on him. “Honest to Betsy! Will you hush up! No, I don’t wonder what’s going on. No, I’m not curious, and just in case you ask, no, I don’t want to sneak outside for a peek. Now will you finish drying, or am I going to have to do your work too?”

“As you can see,” he said, picking up a plate, “I’m drying my little heart out.”

“Good!” she said and flicked a little soapy water on him, shrieking when Adrian growled and gave chase.

While Adrian was chasing Katherine around the kitchen table, Alex and Karin were pursuing a more serious activity, but that turned humorous a few minutes later when they were joined by Katherine and Adrian. “My, that was fast,” Karin said.