MADversary (11 page)

She turned her head, risking a look at him.  He was rolled over
on his side
now, his back to her.  He had a big, black, swirly tattoo on the top half of his back, nothing she could recognize.  She concluded that it mu
st have been an artistic design, that there was no picture or image to get out of it.

But she was allowing herself to get distracted.  How the hell was she going to handle the rest of this weekend?  She was going to have to give Lisa a ration of shit for first persuading her to come
to the reunion
and then for abandoning her.

But Megan couldn’t be too angry at her friend.  In fact, she
missed her and
wondered what Lisa was doing.  No way was she going to call her right now, though.

She wondered what time it was.

She wondered how sound asleep Tyler was.

And she wondered if she should just
bolt
or if she should wake him and say goodbye or…she had no idea what the hell she should do.  She only knew she was a grade-A
wuss
.  She had no strength.  She’d caved to Tyler, and it really hadn’t taken much, had it?

She sat up in the bed, stretching her arms and neck again and taking in a deep breath.  The bed had been the right combination of soft yet firm, and in spite of the fact that she’d drifted in
and out of
light sleep several times throughout the night, she
had
slept well.  She looked around the large room, marveling at the fact that she was
in
a hotel.  It didn’t
look
like a hotel.  On one side of the room was a large polished mahogany dresser and on the other side was a matching desk.  There was also a closet next to the desk, or at least that’s what Megan
assumed
it was.  The doors were closed
, so it was an educated guess
.  There were two other doors in the room—one that led back into the rest of the suite and another that she presumed led to the bathroom.  And that’s when it hit her that her bladder was quite full.  Anymore musing could wait until she took care of business.

Once in the bathroom, she pondered taking a shower too but then thought better of it.  She was delaying the inevitable, and that would only make her hurt worse.  Better to just go now and start the healing process.

Would Tyler be easier to get over now
than when she was a teen
, or would he
be
even harder than before?  Megan wondered if having that history would make it more difficult or if her heart would remember a
nd know how to heal more easily.
 
Only one way to find out.

She walked back in the bedroom and saw a digital clock on the end table next to Tyler’s side of the bed.  It was eight o’clock.  No wonder she still felt sleepy.  That was good, though, because he might be too tired to make a big deal out of
her leaving
.  She thought some of chickening out and just
going
without saying anything, but that would be childish, even if it made it easy
in the short term
.
  But there was nothing in her rule book that said she couldn’t get completely ready and then say goodbye
, followed by
a quick dash for the door.

She had to get dressed first.  She saw her slacks on the floor at the foot of
the
bed, one leg under Tyler’s jeans.  She picked them up and saw her black panties were still i
nside.  She put both on and then looked around, spotting her blouse right next to the clock on the end table.  She tiptoed over and grabbed it, then walked back around the bed to the door leading to the living room.

Once there, she spied her bra on the arm of the couch and her sandals on the floor next to it, right where she’d left them the night before.  She sat on the couch, putting on both her bra and her blouse,
and
then
she
put her sandals on.
  She smiled, because the fake fire was still generating heat.
  She walked to the kitchen and found a glass in one of the cupboards and poured herself some water.  God, what she wouldn’t do for some coffee, but that could wait.  She’d treat herself once she left.
  A giant cappuccino would be her reward for her bravery.

She saw her purse on the floor next to the main door in the entryway
beside
the kitchen.  That was as good a place as any until she left.  She gulped the water down and took a deep breath. 
Time to go.
  The ultimate question was if she should say goodbye or not.

Much as the cowardly way appealed to her, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  She had to tell
Tyler
she was leaving.  So she placed the glass inside the sink and walked toward the bedroom.  Her sandals were quiet on the carpet and for that she was grateful.  She didn’t want him to have a heads up.  She wanted to just tell him and be able to go. 
Quick and
clean and no drama.

She walked to his side of the bed, not sure how she was going to handle it.  As teens, they’d never had the opportunity to spend the night together, so she couldn’t even rely on past experience to give her an idea of how he was in the morning.  She didn’t know if he was a light or heavy sleeper, if he woke up in a good mood or cranky. 
Didn’t matter.
  She had to get it over with.

So she placed her hand on his upper arm, just where it started curving into his shoulder.  Oh…she shouldn’t have done that.  The
firm feel
of his muscle underneath her hand made her remember how his flesh had felt against her
s
last night.
  More than that, though, Tyler smiled and covered her small hand with his
larger
left hand.  “What’s up?” he asked, his eyes still closed.
  He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.  Oh…why did he do that?  It would make it so much harder…
.

But she had to.  She’d resolved to get out of there before she became a clingy girl who couldn’t bear to accept their time together for what it had to be. 
She swallowed the saliva pooling in her mouth and said, “Just wanted to say goodbye.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again and sat up a little.  “You don’t have to go so early, do you?”  He glanced at the clock.  “Don’t you want to have some breakfast, maybe a shower?”

He was going to make this difficult.  Damn it.  “I’m not really hungry, and…I’m going to shower at home.  I have clean clothes and a toothbrush
there,
and…”  She felt awkward.  It didn’t help that she was dealing with
passing off
superficial reasons
as the real deal
.  But, of course, she felt too vulnerable to tell him that she was struggling with feelings for him that were more intense than they should have been.

He sat up the rest of the way. 
“You sure?”

She forced half a smile. 
“Yeah.”

Tyler reached out and placed a hand on her neck.  “See you later, though, right?”

She nodded her head. 
“Yep.”
  It was so smooth that even she believed the lie.

Chapter
Thirteen

IT HAD BEEN
like
pushing
a
car up a hill
, but Megan
managed to make it outside the hotel.  Tyler had walked her to the door and given her a sweet kiss on the cheek before she left.  He’d held her close and asked if she needed him to call a cab.  She told him one was on the way,
but that wasn’t true either.  Instead, s
he called for one once she was outside breathing fresh
, early summer morning
air.  She
wanted to get out of there soon, because the brunch was being held at the hotel at
eleven
o’clock, and she had no idea if anyone would arrive early or if other classmates were staying at the hotel as well.  She wanted no more encounters.  She needed to get home and she needed time alone.

And she decided to skip getting coffee.  She had no idea how much it would cost to have a cab wait for her while she got a cappuccino she didn’t really need, but she could just make a pot of coffee at home.  Plus…she’d seen herself in the mirror.  She didn’t look too bad, all things cons
idered, but she needed a shower and
makeup, and a comb
through her hair
wouldn’t hurt
either
.  The only thing she was carrying in her small purse was a tube of lipstick, but it wouldn’t help the tired look of faded eyeliner.  She’d make a pot of coffee when she got home and contemplate what to do with the rest of her weekend.

She’d decided she was done with the reunion.  And she had to be done with Tyler, no matter what her emotions were begging her to do.

On the ride home, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse.  She saw that she’d missed a call from Lisa.  She played the message that was delivered to her phone a few minutes before midnight:  “Hey, Meg.  Please don’t be mad at me, but I see you over there
at that table in the back
, all chatty and intimate with Tyler.
  Randy and I are
gonna
bug out of here.  If you need a ride…well, just give me an hour or so, okay?  Just call me if you need me, but…I
gotta
do this.”  There was a pause and Lisa giggled with the phone away from her lips.  Then Megan heard her say, “Love
ya
!” before she hung up.

Megan found it almost tragic that both she and her girlfriend had hooked up with men they’d gone to high school with.  The only difference was that Megan’s was an ex-boyfriend.  It sounded like Lisa had enjoyed a little wish fulfillment with an old crush.  But it didn’t make the fact that they’d both done the same thing any less weird.
  She hoped, though, that Lisa wasn’t experiencing some strange kind of regret like Megan was.

When she got to her apartment building, she paid the cab and ran upstairs to her apartment as quickly as she could.
  She made it inside without any e
ncounters from her neighbors, and for that, she was grateful.  She wasn’t ready to interact with any more people as yet.  She needed down time.

Once in the door, she pulled off her sandals and threw her purse on the couch
after retrieving her phone
.  She went straight to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.  She knew a cup of
joe
and a shower were the best things for her state of mind.
  Once
the coffee
was going, she plugged her phone in to charge it.  She was hoping to put it to good use later today by talking to her best friend.

She sat down at the kitchen table, listening to the purr and
hiss
of the coffee pot, and rested her chin against her hand, her elbow propped up on the table.  She contemplated her next move, knowing there wasn’t one.  Her next move would be to do nothing.  She wondered why she’d given in to her base desires, because she had known all along that getting together with Tyler
would do one thing and one thing only.  It had made her realize that she’d never really gotten over him, had never really let him go.  He still meant so much to her.  And it hadn’t helped that their breakup hadn’t been nasty.  It had been a mutual “oh, well” kind of thing.  They’d just agreed that it wouldn’t work and had gone on with their lives.  He was still the same old Tyler—sweet, caring, and…well, there was one thing that was different.  He’d been cute in a young man sort of way in their
youth, but today, he was hot.

And then she wondered what was in it for him.  Did he too just want to see
what if
?  Did he want to see if there was anything left?  Megan couldn’t get a good read on his feelings, and she hadn’t had the guts to ask.  She suspected she knew.  Tyler was probably used to having as much sex as he wanted whenever he wanted and Megan was someone safe.

Oh, but that probably wasn’t it either.

Her head was messed up.  She couldn’t think rationally about anything.  She missed Lisa.  She needed her best friend there to help her sort through her emotions and thoughts.

But, shy of that, she at least had a pot of coffee finishing up.  So she poured a cup and stood by the window over the sink, looking out over the parking lot of the apartment building and the doctor’s office next door.  It was empty today, so some kids were skateboarding on the asphalt.  Megan knew it would be too hot in a few hours for the kids, so they were playing while it was still tolerable out.  They were a nice diversion.

So…if she skipped out on the rest of the reunion, what should she do to keep her mind occupied?  She could go to a movie, but that wasn’t her thing.
  She only liked going to the movies
with
someone.
  No…instead, she’d head over to the library and check out some of the books she’d been meaning to. 
If she could get into a book, cry over another woman’s woes, even if they were fictional, she’d find it easier to ignore her own.  And, once Monday rolled around, it would be okay.  Once she couldn’t really
do
anything about it, she’d be able to handle it better.