MADversary (12 page)

She finished her first cup of coffee and then decided to get in the shower.  She knew the shower would help too, because it was a symbol of washing Tyler off of her.  She knew that mentally it was a smart move.

But as she got out
and toweled off, she realized that even though she was able to wash his smell off of her, she couldn’t wash off the physical memories.  She could still remember as though it were now how his lips and tongue felt over different places of her body.  And her mouth could still taste him, even after she brushed her teeth.  Her body’s memory was too
strong
and she couldn’t evade it.

She had to get to the library fast.  Otherwise, she was going to give in and go back to the reunion activities.

No way.

She resolved to get ready as quickly as she could.  She poured herself another cup of coffee and then stood at the bathroom sink where she applied her makeup.  Then
she combed out her damp hair.  Then s
he poured herself another cup of coffee, ready to stand in front of her closet to decide what to wear.  But then she realized there was no dilemma.  She didn’t have to impress anyone else anymore.  She could just grab a t-shirt and jeans and throw them on.

As she was leaving the kitchen, her cell phone rang.  It was still on the counter plugged in
where
she’d left it, so she walked back.  She wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone, but then she saw it was Lisa.  Lisa was the exception.
  She unplugged the phone and answered.  “Hi.”

“Meg…
pleeeeease
tell me you’re not mad at me.”

Megan couldn’t suppress a giggle.  “No, no. 
Of course not.”

“Oh, thank God.  I’m so glad.”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

Megan could hear a puff of air escape her friend’s lips.  “Because…I dragged you to the reunion, and you didn’t even want to go, and then I abandoned you, left you with the
one person
you told me you didn’t want to see…
.
”

Megan sighed.  “Yeah, I know.  But I forgive you.”  She didn’t want to talk about Tyler.  “So…how’d things go with you and Randy?”

Lisa’s voice dropped a notch. 
“Oh, my God.
  You’ll never believe what happened.”

No, she probably would.  “What?”

“We went to the river walk and just walked and held hands and talked and caught up.”

Megan felt herself nodding, even while knowing Lisa couldn’t see it.  So she’d been wrong.  Her friend had spent the evening doing something innocent yet intimate.  Maybe something serious was brewing there.  “That sounds pretty cool.”  She found herself hoping things worked out for Lisa and Randy
.  She’d wanted to talk things over with Lisa earlier, but now she wasn’t so sure.  Her friend was basking in her own positive emotions.  Megan didn’t want to bring her down and she also didn’t want Lisa trying to pump her up.  So she decided to say nothing else.

“And…um…we did something crazy.”

“What?”

“Oh, my God, Megan.
  I couldn’t help myself.  We fucked right there on the river walk.”

Megan had been
right the first time.  “Are you kidding?”

“No.  I’ve never had sex outside before, and I
gotta
tell
ya
…it was pretty wild.”

Megan never had either and had no plans to.  She couldn’t imagine herself ever being so horny that she couldn’t wait until she got to a bed or a place of privacy.  “Do tell.”

“Well, what was cool about it was…it was warm out, so being half naked outside wasn’t a problem.  And then hearing the river rush nearby made me feel like no one could hear what we were doing.  It was just so…
liberating
.  It was…like a near-death experience.”

“What?!”

“Well, not really.  I don’t know how to describe it, but it really…intensified how I feel about Randy.  It’s weird, Meg.  It’s like hardly any time has passed and yet
now he knows me and appreciates me.  He had no idea the crush I had on him, and to experience one of my fantasies last night…
.
 
My God.
  I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.”

Megan giggled.  She was happy for her friend.  “When are you send
ing out the wedding invitations?
”

She heard Lisa snort.  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”  She stopped laughing.  “So, do you want me to pick you up for the brunch?”

“I don’t think I should trust you to be my ride anymore.”

“Hey…I thought you weren’t mad.”

“I’m just teasing.”  She took a sip of her coffee.  “But I’m not going to go to the brunch anyway.”

“Why?  Were you up too late too?”

Megan knew she should just say
yes
and call it good, but even that response would lead to more.  Lisa would want to know what had happened last night between Megan and Tyler, and then she’d have to tell her everything.  But she knew that’s where it was headed anyway.  “That’s not why.  I’ve just…had as much catching up as I can handle.  I’m done.”

“Oh, my God.
  What the hell happened last night after I left?”

Megan inhaled and said, “Nothing you need to worry about.  Trust me.  I just…don’t want to do anything else involving the reunion.”

“Oh, no.
  You’re not blowing me off like that, Megan.  I’m coming right over.”  Megan heard Lisa’s phone hang up and she debated getting dressed as originally planned and then leaving before Lisa could arrive.  But she knew her friend and reconciled herself to the fact that she might as well just get it over with now.

Chapter Fourteen

MEGAN MUST HAVE
known it would come to this.  After all, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d drunk an entire pot of coffee by herself, long night or not.

She and Lisa sat at her kitchen table.  Lisa looked tired but happier than she had in months.  She had a twinkle in her blue eyes that Megan hadn’t seen in a long time.  But Megan also saw concern in her friend’s eyes for herself, and she wondered how she could make it disappear.  Lisa was
going to be
late for the brunch, and it
would be
all Megan’s fault.

“So, Meg, tell me what’s so bad that you’re refusing to go to the rest of the reunion.  I mean, when I left, you and Tyler looked all snuggly and…stuff.”

Megan smiled and sipped her coffee.  “I just…realized that things will never work out between the two of us.”

“What do you mean?  Did you guys have an argument or something last night?”

“No.”

“Well, what…?”  Lisa set her coffee cup down.

Megan shook her head.  “It’s just stupid to pursue something like that.”

Lisa was silent for a moment and then said, “Oh, my God.  You
did
, didn’t you?”

Megan tried to look innocent, but
goddammit
.  Lisa knew her too well.  Still, she had to try.  “Did
what
?”

“You guys did the deed, didn’t you? 
The horizontal mambo?”
  Megan felt the blush crawling up her neck to her cheeks long before it showed.  It didn’t matter.  Lisa knew anyway.  “My God, you did.”  Megan’s friend dropped her voice.  “So did it suck
?
  Is that it?  Or is he…
smaller
than you’d remembered?  Or has he been a little too pre-owned?”

“Jesus, Lisa, nothing like that.”

“So how the fuck was it?  I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

Megan smiled but rubbed her forehead.  Why couldn’t Lisa ever just let anything be easy?  “The point is not how it
was
.  The point is that he’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.  The
entire point
is how it was.  If it sucked, you probably wouldn’t care.”  Megan shrugged her shoulders.  Maybe what Lisa was saying was true.
  “So
how was it
?”

Megan allowed herself to think about last night’s events.  She’d been avoiding it because her heart was in a fragile place.  But she’d already withheld enough from Lisa.  “It was…really incredible.  I, uh…I wasn’t ready, and he was so patient.  He gave me this backrub that was insane.”

“Erotic, huh?”

“No. 
Just really…incredible.
 
Intense.
  It was after that…he just…”  She couldn’t put it into words, but she didn’t know that she wanted to tell Lisa every little thing.  “No, we were just kids back then, you know, and everything then was fun, no matter how awkward or bad
we
were.  But now…he was…”  She cleared her throat and took another sip of her coffee.  “Let’s just say he
rocked
my world.”

Lisa smiled. 
“Sounds like he left you pretty tongue-tied too.  So now
after an incredible evening of lovemaking, you’ve decided to just let him go.”

“I don’t have a choice,
Leese
.  He’s got his world, and I’ve got mine.  I knew that before I slept with him, no matter how stupid I thought it was to begin with.”

“No.  It doesn’t have to be that way, Meg.  Did you tell him how you feel?”

Megan sighed and finished the coffee in her mug. 
“No way.
  No way in hell.  I’m sure I was just a fun little trip down memory lane until he returns to his big life.  He wanted some nostalgia, and I was able to provide it.”

Lisa sat back in her chair and scoffed.  “You should hear yourself.  I know you’ve become more cynical over the years, but wow.  Poor Tyler didn’t stand a chance. 
Seriously.
  How do you know you’re just a fling to him?”

Megan was quiet for a little bit and then stood to fill her cup back up with more coffee.  With her back to Lisa, she said, “I don’t want to hear it from him.  I feel like my heart’s already broken.  I don’t want to risk it.”

Lisa waited until Megan sat back down again.  “You know that’s stupid, don’t you?”

“I don’t care.  I need to protect myself.”

Lisa shrugged but said nothing, swallowing the last of her coffee.  “Well, suit yourself.  If you decide to come, I promise I won’t let you out of my sight.”  She waited until Megan made eye contact,
then
said, “Will you come along for the hike?”  Megan had dug in her heels.  She just looked at Lisa and shook her head.  “Fine, but you have to come to dinner tonight.”

“No,
Leese
.  I can’t do it.”

“But
Madversary’s
going to be playing.  It’s like a free concert!”  Megan continued to shake her head and say nothing.  “You can just
come
watch and then leave.  He’ll be onstage.  He’ll never see you.”

“No. 
Absolutely not.”

“Come on, Megan.  The dinner’s at the hotel, but the dance is
gonna
be at the gym in the high sch
ool.  You could sneak in and out…”

“No.  It’s final.”  And Megan meant it.

Chapter Fifteen

MEGAN’S RESOLVE HAD
been strong all day long.  After Lisa had left
to go to
what
remained
of the brunch, Megan walked to the library as planned.  It was hot out, but being uncomfortable helped take her mind off her worries.

She checked out a couple of books and spent the afternoon on the couch, getting involved in fictional lives and problems.  But she could never fully lose herself in those stories.  She found her mind drifting back to her own life.

Lisa called late afternoon and Megan answered the phone against her better judgment.  “Damn it, Megan.  Tyler tracked me down and asked me if I knew where you were. 
And shit.  He’s cuter and sweeter than I remembered. 
I almost gave him your phone number.  Please stop making me the bad guy.  He kept asking me what he’d done wrong
last night
.”

Megan felt a little guilty.  Maybe Lisa was right.  Maybe she should just tell Tyler how she felt
, because he
hadn’t
done anything wrong
. 
But at least by telling him what she was thinking,
if it did turn out to be just a fling as she’d suspected it would be, they would leave on good terms…just like last time.  But she said nothing.

“Besides, Randy has to miss part of the dinner and I don’t want to sit by myself.  You’ve already paid for it, so you might as well get your money’s worth.”

Megan sighed.  “Lisa, I never wanted to go to this thing in the first place.  And don’t you want to talk to other people besides Randy?  You didn’t go to the reunion just for him, did you?”