Magic and Mayhem: Witchin' Impossible (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Hazed & Confused Mysteries Book 1) (8 page)

“You are breaking every rule of common decency, you smug lunatic.”

“Sticks and stones will break Lily’s bones, but names will make me hurt you.” She flung another ball of fire at me. I screamed as the burning pitch hit my forearm.

“We need her,” Robert said.

“She’ll never help, my love. Can’t you see? She is stalling.”

Lily was in and out of it. The pain burning through the opiates in her system.

I said quickly:

“
Bound be unbound, Goddess hear me.

Release my friend, so mote it be
.”

The ropes wrapped around Lily dropped to the ground, and she crumpled to the floor. The witch and the three craphead Shifters started at me with abject surprise. They couldn’t have been more amazed than I was. I couldn’t believe the spell worked!

“Silence her!” Townsend ordered. “Don’t let her attract the Lady G.”

“Goddess,” I shouted. “Goddess hear me.”

Another fireball flew at me. I countered with a lightning bolt that Adele easily deflected.

A high-pitched screech made everyone look up. Tizzy, arms spread, wings flapping, glided down on us like a red, hairy angel of death. She hit Adele in the face then jumped on top of Robert before leaping into another gravity defying glide to where I stood.

“I’m with you, Haze.”

The pride I when I looked down at my fierce familiar, made my chest swell until it forced tears from my eyes. I stared down Adele.

“
Goddess help me scratch this itch.

Give me strength to beat this bitch
.”

Emerald green flames poured over me as my aura filled with an energy so powerful I thought it would explode me. I released the magic in one giant lightning bolt that headed straight for Adele. She tried to block it, but her druid magic was no match. A split second before it could zap her, Robert Townsend threw a giant mountain lion in the lightning’s path. The cougar blew up like a microwaved turkey wrapped in foil.

Goddess, I’d just whacked Clayton Driver. “Noooo!” My fury wasn’t sated. I threw another bolt, and this time, the beaver got it. The room reeked of singed fur.

The green flames were fading. I was losing energy. Townsend started rune casting on the air again, and Adele was bathed in green, red, blue, and yellow flames.

“Crap, we're screwed,” Tizzy yipped then said with a little too much excitement, “Now that Frank’s dead, do you think Colleen is free?”

“Not the time, Tiz.” She really did have beaver-fever.

“Right!” She scampered back behind me.

The flames were burning out fast. I could take one last shot at Adele or try and save my friend. I chose my friend. I focused my energy on creating a protective bubble for Tizzy and Lily. As Adele’s magical blaze burned brighter and thicker than any I’d ever seen, it sounded like a freight train gaining steam.

“Save yourself, Haze,” Lily yelled over the noise. She was awake now and cradling her broken arm. “Don’t die for me.”

“Forget it, Lily” I shouted as the protective bubble firmed into place. “I’m not going to desert you. Not again.”

A side door to the building blew in. I nearly faltered in my protection spell when I saw Ford run into the room, his face full of rage-y determination. Adele turned on him.

“No!” I shouted as a tremendous fireball sailed at him. My father, Kent Kinsey, knocked Ford sideways, and Chief Nichols, who’d run in after my father, threw up a protection spell. It wasn’t enough. Adele’s power had grown too strong for the warlock. When the bubble burst, so did Nichols.

Dear Goddess. Warlock goo flew everywhere. I gagged. Adele gagged. I guess the art of torturing people had done nothing to harden that reflex.

Ford and my dad ran to my side. A worthless witch, a brooding bear, a worthless warlock, a horny squirrel, and a broken cougar. The Fab Five we weren’t, but knowing I wasn’t fighting alone gave me a warm fuzzy.

The strong scent of snickerdoodles eased the fear building inside me. “I fight by your side, Haze.” Ford squeezed my hand. “You are brave. I’m proud to be your mate.” I was amazed how clearly I heard him over the hullabaloo of chaos magic. He let go of my hand and turned into a giant grizzly bear. He roared at the raccoon Shifter and his psycho witch girlfriend, the sound vibrating the air.

“We have to cut the binds that tie Adele to the tree,” my dad yelled, as the freight train of the witch’s magic grew louder.

“How? It’s not like we can see them?”

“Can’t we?” he asked.

As a famous real estate tycoon once said, it was all about location, location, location. I focused my power at Adele.

“
Ties that bind this tree to thee.

Reveal yourself so all can see.

The ties that bind, so mote it be
.”

A long glowing tether wrapped slithering around the tree’s roots flowed out across the room and speared straight through Robert Townsend’s chest, out his back, and into the flames consuming Adele. She gathered another large ball of nuclear flames in her arms. A vision of all of us ending up like Nichols made me shudder.

“Whatever you have planned, Dad, you better do it quick!”

Dad wiggled his fingers:

“
Tree of Blood, Witch of Lies.

Slice away your mortal ties.

Earth. Water. Fire. Air.

Sever bonds to this earthly lair
.”

The flames around Adele spiked. Robert Townsend tried to run, but Ford the Bear leaped the distance smashing him down with his massive paws. Next, he tore off Townsend’s head, and the
raton
was no more. Unfortunately, that still left Adele, and her power seemed to be going atomic bomb dangerous.

“Ford! Run!” The bear took one look at the witch as her flames went supernova and barreled his way toward me. I turned to my dad. “Uh, I think you maybe made it worse!”

“It should have worked.”

Ford, a massive man again, only naked now, took me in his arms and kissed me. A last act of love before dying. Hubba.

A sonic BOOM shook the entire building, and I looked up in time to get hit in the shoulder with a piece of charred meat. “Ew!”

The silence following the boom was deafening. My dad picked up Lily and carried her over the battlefield of body parts. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been proud to be his daughter. My eyes misted.

Ford brushed a stray swatch of skull and hair from my back.

“So gross,” I said.

“It really is.” His blue eyes alighted around the room. “I’ve seen it before with guys like Townsend.”

“What?”

“Small mammal syndrome.”

I grinned. “You did not just go there.”

He laughed, and it made me feel good to my toes.

“Proud to be my mate, huh?” I covered his freed willy with my torso.

“Don’t make me take it back.” He lifted me into his arms. “You have a decision to make.”

“Don’t forget about me!” Tizzy scaled his leg and settled into my lap. “Nothing like bear-to-door service.”

“Not so fast.” The voice froze us all in place. Standing in the middle of the mess, in a black tutu and a bullet bra corset, her blonde hair twelve inches high and full of ribbons was none other than Baba Yaga.

“Hello, Baba Yaga,” my dad said with reverence.

“You missed all the fireworks,” I said kinda pissed that she hadn’t shown up sooner.

She rolled her eyes so far back they turned white. “You’re a riot.” She curled her sequined gloved fist on her hip. “Is this Adele Adams?” She pointed at barbecued body parts.

I shrugged. “Some of it.” The pile of goo near the door was my biggest regret. “Too bad about Chief Nichols. I would have bet my savings he was one of the bad guys. Color me surprised.”

“He was a dick,” Ford said. “But you’re right. He wasn’t evil. Just incompetent.”

“Agreed,” my dad said. “Are you satisfied now, Baba Yaga?”

“You’ve done well, Kent. I will allow that the death of your wife was an accident of her own making.” She straightened her bullet bra and glanced around at the meat explosion. “Adele has always been a jealous witch. Even as a child, I knew she’d be trouble.” She puffed up a breath of air that rustled her bangs. “Family. Can’t live with them. Can’t kill them.” She winked at me. “Sometimes a little help is needed in that department.”

“She is a member of your family?” 

“A very distant cousin.” She examined her long, bedazzled manicured nails on hand not wearing the glove before turning her all-knowing gaze on me. “You owe me a favor, Hazel Marie Kinsey.”

I didn’t like that she invoked my entire name. “Killing Adele wasn’t favor enough?”

She shrugged. “Fine. We’ll call that favor number one. But, as you may recall, we agreed on two favors.”

“Right, right. So mote it be.”

“Why do you keep adding that to your spells?” My father asked. “Not judging. Just asking.”

“I thought…You mean you don’t have to?” I wasn’t about to tell them about my
Witchcraft for Idiots
book. “But Baba Yaga said it to me when we made the deal.”

“You believed in the words. Belief gives the magic power.”

“Awesome.” I felt like a total dummy.

“Don’t be ashamed, Hazel. You are very strong, and you will do great things for this town.”

Ford’s arms tightened on me. “I hadn’t decided…”

“Now you’re being a dummy,” she said. “You will be the new Chief of Police.” She pierced me with her or-I’ll-smite-you stare. “No arguing.”

“I don’t know…” I looked up at Ford. “Would it make you mad if I was your boss?”

“You mean you want to stay in Paradise Falls?”

“I really do.” I kissed him, squishing Tizzy between us. She squeaked her protest. “I want to be your mate.”

“Hello, injured BFF over here,” Lily crooned. “I really need to get to Dr. Geller.”

“She’s a medical examiner,” I protested. Uck. I didn’t want that bear-flirting bitch fixing my friend. “She works with dead people.”

“She’s the only healer in town,” Lily countered. She held her arm to her chest. “I can heal a lot, but that asshole broke the bone clean in half.”

Baba Yaga clapped her hands. “My soon to be daughter-in-law is a Shifter Wanker. She will fix the werecougar.” She clapped her hands again and Lily disappeared from my father’s arms. “She’s in good hands now. Goodbye, Hazel.”

“Good--” Baba Yaga was gone before I could say bye.

I STARED INTO FORD’S BLUE EYES,
mostly to avoid looking around at all the people parts. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

“You were pretty damn spectacular.”

His compliment made me squishy in all my squishy places. I wiggled against him, and his timber hardened against me. He growled. I grinned.

“Get some, Haze!” Tizzy said.

I blushed. Sometimes it was easy to forget about the tiny squirrel in the room.

The soft noise of a throat clearing got my attention. My dad stood alone, his hands by his side, his palms open.

Goddess on toast. I’d rubbed a naked guy in front of my father.

“Haze,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

I’d blamed him for so long, it was hard to get a grip on how to feel now that I knew he didn’t kill my mother. At least, not on purpose. “How come you never told me you were innocent? That Mom was the one practicing bad magic?”

“I wanted to protect you. Besides, it was hard to convince Baba Yaga I hadn’t killed Priscilla on purpose. I believed, without proof, I’d never convince you either.” He shook his head. “I wasn’t a perfect father, even before I tried to sever the mate bond with your mom. But I do love you.”

Ford set me down. I hugged my dad. “We’ll get through this.”

He hugged me back. “Danny died because he got too close to the truth. Lily deserves to know. Her brother died an honorable death. His and Lily’s parents were victims of Adele, Robert, and your mom. I suspected, but couldn’t prove the crime. It’s why they killed him.”

“Why break all his bones?”

“Pain,” Dad said. “The more pain that fed the spell, the more powerful the magic. Druidic magic is more potent with sacrifice.”

“And Boyd?”

“I think because he and Danny were friends, they believed he knew more than he actually did. They killed Dennis Mitchell because he decided to blackmail them for more money after they’d bribed him to hide evidence in the investigation.”

“Lily and the Deckers will have some peace knowing their loved ones have moved on to the Next Adventure,” said Ford.

“Huh?”

Ford winced. “You really know nothing about Shifters. In order to move on to…well, our version of Heaven for the sake of simplifying, our deaths must be natural or noble. The fact that Danny was killed while trying to right a wrong makes his death noble. Same with Boyd.”

I kissed Ford. Not a quick bump of lips, but a deep, meaningful, sucking his tongue down my throat kiss.

He growled and yanked me hard against his body.

“I’m out of here,” my dad said.

“We’re covered in Shifter-witch gunk,” I said when Ford’s hands slid under my shirt.

“The mating frenzy is strong.” His fingers danced over my nipples sending sharp spikes of pleasure to my hoo-ha.

“
Bear and witch.

Mating frenzy itch.

Too much power.

Need a shower.

Goddess hear me.

So mote it be
.”

In a quick fade out then back in, we were standing in a five-foot marble shower with ten pulsating jet sprayers and an overhead rainmaker. “Oh, man, I am getting good!”

I turned on the water and stripped my clothes while Ford tossed them over the clear door.

“Are you sure, Haze?” he asked when he had me naked with my breasts mashed up against his bare furry chest. “Mating is for life.”

“Do you wish I wouldn’t have kissed you the night of the party? I mean, I was a nobody in high school. I wasn’t even on your radar.”

“There have been times I regretted it because it’s hard to be alone.” He brushed back a wet strand of hair from my face. “But…you were wearing black leggings, a blue tank top, and a pair of pink ankle boots. Oh, and you wore your hair in a ponytail to the side. You were pretty adorable.”

“The night of the party?”

“No,” Ford said, shaking his head. “The day I asked you to pass me the catsup.”

“Oh.” I blinked. “Oh.”

He growled as he lifted me off the floor of the shower, my feet dangling as he pressed his forehead to mine. “You were on my radar, Hazel Kinsey. Then and now.”

“Yes,” I told Ford. “I agree to life with you.”

“Without parole.” He smiled.

“I’ll wear an ankle monitor if it will make you happy.”

“One more thing about mating, and I’ll be quick because frankly, I’m about to explode, there is a…bite involved.”

“How hard?”

He rubbed his red oak against me. “Pretty hard.”

I smacked him. “The bite. How hard is the bite?”

“Do you want to find out?” The promise in his blue eyes made me nod. Vigorously.

“Yes.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, inhaling sharply as his rigid log rolled against my throbbing pebble. “Do you love me, Ford?”

“I do.”

“Good. I love you too.”

“I think I saw that on one of my textbooks.”

“Will you two get on with it already?” Tizzy asked, standing just outside the see-through shower door. “This is getting more
When Harry Met Sally
and less
When Hairy Wet
--.”

“Get out, Tiz!” I opened the door and threw a wet washcloth at her. When she raced, laughing, from the room, I turned to Ford. “That didn’t kill the mood did it?”

His love-lumber bumped against my lady den. “It’ll take more than a sassy squirrel to put me off.”

I rubbed against him, and he groaned, his spicy masculine aroma filling the shower stall. When the tip of him pressed against my opening, I rolled my hips, asking for more. I wanted him inside me like I wanted air to breathe.

“I don’t think I can be gentle,” he moaned.

“Then don’t,” I said. “I’m a tough girl.”

His thumbs dug into my hips as he entered me inch by torturous inch. A helpless sound tumbled from my lips.

“I’m hurting you.”

“No,” I lied. His invasion inside me was painful, after all, he was a mountain of a man, but it would have hurt more for him to stop. “I want this, Ford. I want you.”

“I love you,” he said. His teeth elongated. “I love you so much, Haze.”

He bit down on my shoulder, and I screamed as a pleasure like nothing I’ve ever known ripped through my body as he pierced my flesh. He dropped to his knees, carrying me with him, and when my back was on the tile floor, he entered me completely and began to thrust in earnest.

Ecstasy wracked me with wave after wave of rapture as my orgasm spilled over me. Ford let go of my shoulder and roared as his own climax erupted, holding me until he’d spent every bit of himself inside me.

We lay there for Goddess knew how long before the water turned cold. Ford reached up and turned off the shower. “Mrs. Haze Baylor,” he said teasingly, as he held me close.

“Is that a proposal?” My heart pounded like a fist against the inside of my chest.

“I am yours for eternity, Haze. Until death do us part. Do you want to get married?”

“I do,” I said.

“Then I do too.”

A loud knock on the bathroom door startled us. Next, a loud booming voice said, “You have your own shower in your own home, son.”

“Dad?” Ford asked.

“Yes. Your mother wants me to congratulate you. So congratulations.”

“Uhm, thanks.” His cheeks were turning a very adorable shade of red.

“Welcome to the family, Hazel,” Bryant Baylor said.

“Thank you, sir,” I answered.

“Now get out.”

“Why’d you pop us into my dad’s shower?”

I shrugged. “How was I supposed to know it was your dad’s shower? Didn’t you notice?”

“I noticed your perky boobs. Everything else was a blur after that.”

“I can hear you,” Bryant added. “I’m getting bleach. If you’re not out by the time I get back, you will be getting cleaned along with the shower.”

We stood up, wrapping ourselves in Mr. Baylor’s towels. The one I had covered me from armpit to knees. On Ford, it looked more like a miniskirt.

Ford grimaced. “Can you get us out of here?”

“We’re better off walking.”

“You really are a terrible witch.”

“But I’m an awesome lover, right?”

Ford grinned. “The best.”

“I can still hear you,” Bryant shouted.

I stared up at my mate. Two days had passed since I’d arrived back in my hometown, and a lifetime of events had occurred almost simultaneously. I had my best friend back, I no longer hated my father, apparently I was the new police chief, and the man of my dreams had promised to always love me. This was the first time that Paradise Falls didn’t feel like a fail.

“I can see up your skirt, bear boy,” Tizzy said. “Dang! You could put an eye out with that thing.”

“Tizzy!”

She looked up at me, innocently batting her eyelashes. “You called?”

The End. For Now…