Make Me Bad: Private Lessons (12 page)

I look around nervously, and assess
our chances of being overheard. “We’re going to talk about this here?” I ask.

He looks around us as people bustle
to and from the Metro. “Good point. Let’s have this conversation somewhere
else.”

He quickly starts to move through
the crowd and I hurry to keep up with him. He goes down to the Metro and we
quickly get on the next train.

“Let’s move away from the
university,” he explains, “less of a chance of someone seeing us.”

I have to agree with him. We get
off at the stop near our apartments.

“I live right around the corner,” I
can’t help but saying.

He cocks his head. “I thought you
lived nearby. I didn’t realize how close.”

“I’d say we could go to my
apartment, but I’m not sure when Cleo will be back.”

“Probably best not to then. Are you
hungry?”

My stomach growls and I remember
what I initially set out for when I ran into Luc and his red-haired beauty. I
nod.

“Alright, let’s get you something
to eat and we can talk.”

We duck into a quiet and dark café;
one I imagine doesn’t appeal to many tourists.

“Ever been in here?” he asks. I
shake my head, nervously playing with my hair. Why does Luc put me on edge? One
second he’s hard and angry, and the next second he’s sweetly taking care of me.
“Me either. Let’s sit in the back.”

We make our way to the back and I
pick up a menu. Luc orders a hot tea and I order a soda, sandwich and side
salad.

“This is weird,” I observe, a
nervous giggle escaping my lips. I’m starting to feel like a lunatic.

“How so?” Luc has put his cup down
and he’s staring intently at me. His dark eyes are filled with emotions I can’t
read and my fingers itch to reach out and touch his wild hair. I briefly wonder
what it would be like for Luc to be mine, really mine: to belong to him.

I’ve never had a relationship where
I felt like a true partner to the other person. I guess because I’m so young.
I’ve had two serious relationships, but looking back, they seem so juvenile. I
think about my parents and wonder what it’s like to really love someone and to truly
have a partnership with them. Even though I hardly know Luc, I really believe
that I can handle him. I can handle his dark moods and, I think, I can make his
life happier.

I shake my head to clear my crazy
thoughts.

“What?” he asks, “What are you
thinking? Something was just going through your head.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble,
“just silly thoughts.”

“Like what?”

“No. I really can’t say. I’ll sound
crazy. Sometimes my imagination gets the best of me.”

“Madison,” he says with stern
softness, gently laying his hand over mine. “We came here to talk about us. The
least you can do is tell me what crazy thoughts are running through that mind
of yours.”

Oh God, I’m mortified. “It’s just –
well – I was thinking that I would be good for you.” I look down at the table,
unable to look him in the eyes. “I know you get into these weird funks, and
have darker moods, and I just think that, you know, if we were to make this,” I
gesture to the two of us, “a little more serious, I could be good for you. I
could make you happy.” I finally get the nerve to look at him and I’m shocked
by what I see.

His face is an open book. For a
moment, I get a glimpse at a vulnerable man and I can see that in some strange
way, he really does care about me. He rearranges his features so that he
doesn’t look as raw, and he sighs as he strokes my hand.

“I agree,” he says quietly. He sees
the look of shock on my face. “You are good for me, and that worries me.”

“That makes no sense,” I say, rolling
my eyes.

“Look, I think you’re amazing. I
think you’re beautiful and sexy, and incredibly talented. How could I not be
attracted to you, especially since we share a passion for music? Not to
mention, the fact that being intimate with you is completely mind-blowing.”

Wow. I blow Luc Pascal’s mind in
bed? I feel that way about him, but I find it hard to believe that, with my
little experience, I could be mind-blowing in bed.

“So, we came here to talk about
what is going on with us. Tell me what you want.” Luc leans back in his chair,
sipping his tea, his eyes seductive and enticing.

“I told you. I’d like to see more
of you. I understand that people might look down on this relationship or judge
us, but I don’t know if I feel the same way you do. I don’t know if it would be
such a scandal.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “This is
part of the reason I find you so endearing – your naïveté,” he explains. “You
and I being together would definitely be a scandal.”

“It’s not that many years of an age
difference,” I sulk.

“You’re twenty-one?” he asks.

“I’ll be twenty-two in January,” I
offer, as if this fact makes a substantial difference.

He manages a small grin. “It’s a
ten year difference, Madison. That is a big deal. And not only that, but I’m
your
teacher.”
He stresses the last word to emphasize his point. “It’s
so cliché. People might not take you seriously if they know you’re with me. They
might you were sleeping with me to help your career.”

My jaw drops. I never considered
that. “No,” I whisper, “People really wouldn’t think that.” But I know he’s
right. How stupid of me not to consider that. I grew up surrounded by fame. It’s
common for young stars to try and sleep their way to the top, or do whatever
they could to get ahead of their competition.

Luc waits patiently as he watches
the wheels turn in my brain. “You’re too talented,” he finally says, “I don’t
want that for you. And this is far less important, but people would think that
I was taking advantage of you – using my status and ‘experience’ to bring you
under my influence.”

“This sucks,” I moan. There’s a
small part of me that jumps ahead to the future, and wonders if once I made a
name for myself, I would be free to be with Luc.

“You see? We can’t share this with
the world. Especially considering the extra scrutiny we would come under
because of who you are.”

My sandwich is placed in front of
me, and I look down at it hopelessly. Suddenly, this lunch with Luc has become
depressing.

I feel bad for Madison as I watch a
myriad of emotions cross her face. One second she is bright and hopeful, and
the next, the reality of how problematic us being together truly is sinks in,
and she’s sad and forlorn.

I don’t even bring up my own
issues. At this point, the less she knows the better.

“That being said,” I say, not
wanting to upset her, “I would still like to see you more. And to be perfectly
honest, I don’t have any desire to see other people.” I frown darkly as I
imagine her with some young college bro. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t see other
people, either.”

That brings a small smile to her
face. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Ooh, are you jealous?”

“Yes,” I say bluntly. “I am
jealous. The thought of you with some cocksure, young college frat brother is a
bit more than I can take.”

She bursts out laughing. “Doesn’t
appeal to me,” she bites her lip seductively, “You’re the only one I can think
about.”

She’s crazy. Maybe Madison has
mental issues too. The fact that she wants to be with me over someone her own
age is ridiculous though, secretly, I’m glad.

“Okay, but we have to make one
exception on who knows.”

I shoot her a wary look. Nothing
good can come from that.

“Cleo,” she explains. “She’s my
roommate and my best friend. I’ve known her since my freshman year, and I’ve
never kept anything from her. I promise she won’t judge and this will make
things a lot easier. I can’t keep sneaking around behind her back like this.
She’s going to figure it out eventually and then it’s going to hurt our
friendship.”

She crosses her arms stubbornly,
challenging me to argue with her.

She does have a point. She and Cleo
live together and Madison has had to lie and sneak around so much already.

“Fine. Cleo and Cleo only. No
Grace. No Ava. No one else in the study abroad program.”

“Seriously? That’s great!” She
bounces up and down in her seat with excitement and once more, I find myself
drawn to her energy. When she calms down, she takes a sip of her soda and
stares at me. “Do you plan on seeing Juliette again?”

I gather my thoughts before
responding, trying to think of an appropriate way to answer. “At lunch we
talked about getting together again,” I say carefully, “She has two children
that she would like me to meet.”

“She’s married?”

“No, divorced.”

I can see that she isn’t thrilled
by this revelation, though she seems to be trying hard not to make a big deal
out of it.

“And you believe that Juliette has
a thing for you?” she asks instead.

“I don’t know,” I say, unable to
hide the slight annoyance in my voice. How the hell am I to know what goes on
inside the mind of
any
woman?

 “Possibly… I’m not an expert on
these things, but I would say she might have some interest. She knows that I’m
only here until December, so I don’t imagine she’s interested in a long term
relationship.”

     “Lovely. So she just wants to be your fuck buddy.”
Madison sticks her tongue out, the thought completely unappealing to her.

“I really don’t know what she
wants. But I have a feeling she wants more than I want.”

“So, do you plan on seeing her
again?” she repeats.

“She is a very old friend from the
past. Since I don’t have any intention of sleeping with her, or starting a relationship
with her, I have considered seeing her again and meeting her family.” I watch
Maddie’s reaction. “Unless you'd have a very big problem with that. I wouldn’t
want to do something that would make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not crazy about the idea, but
I think I should trust you,” she says slowly. “From what I saw on the street, I
would definitely say she has a thing for you. But if you’re telling me that you
aren’t interested, then I don’t want to be a bitch and tell you that you can’t
go.”

The truth is the way that Juliette
was coming on to me was very flattering. But aside from the fact that Juliette
and I live on different continents and I’m not a kid person, she has an air
about her that a lot of single, divorced women have – desperation. Apparently,
it’s not exclusive to American divorcées.

I’ve noticed that divorced women,
especially in their thirties, seem just a bit on edge. They are about as
obnoxious as they come – biological clocks ticking and all. And while Juliette
is beautiful, sophisticated and charming, there is just a hint of desperation
about her. Some women are afraid to end up alone and I think Juliette sees her
days as numbered if she doesn’t find someone soon.

The last thing I need is to get
involved with Juliette and wind up with a whole lot of crazy in my lap. No
thank you.

“How about this?” I suggest. “I go
and meet her family since I sort of agreed that I would, and we’ll leave it at
that. There’s no reason for me to continue to socialize with her anyway.”

“That sounds fair.” She finishes
her sandwich. “Oh, and there is a possibility that my parents will be coming to
Paris to visit for a long weekend, probably in about two to three weeks. Just
thought I would give you a heads up.”

“Okay, I appreciate that. I guess
I’ll just have to make do without you for a weekend.”

“I don’t like that idea.”

“Neither do I, but I’m certainly
not going to be hanging out with you and your parents.”

“Well, maybe you can at least meet
them,” she hedges, “I can introduce you as my music professor, which
you are
.
You are giving me private lessons, after all.”

“There are plenty of private
lessons that I’d like to give you,” I growl.

Madison giggles, flushing pink. “I
like the sound of
those
lessons.”

Before I can make another smart-ass
comment, her phone starts to vibrate.

“It’s Cleo,” she says, “I should
answer.”

I nod and wait for her to take the
call.

“Hey,’’ she says and then pauses.
“Yeah, we finished early. My group worked pretty quickly.” Another pause. “No,
I’m not home yet. I stopped to get a sandwich; I was starving.”

I sit back in my seat as I watch
her. Her hair is different today and I notice her nails are a different color
than they were earlier in the week. I think about taking her back to my
apartment, slowly undressing her, and spending the rest of the day having that
lazy kind of sex where you take your time and nap, and then do it all over
again.

But I have a feeling that isn’t
going to happen today.