Mama B: A Time to Speak (12 page)

Chapter 22

Most of the children spent Wednesday night in the fellowship hall while service went on in the sanctuary. They called theyself getting ready for their different acts for the talent show. Whole thing got throwed together real fast if you ask me, but didn’t nobody ask me so I didn’t say a word.

Me and Ophelia sat next to each other. Henrietta had done moved over to the other side with Mother Powell. They carried on as usual with Rev. Dukes doin’ his thing, preaching on the topic of supporting black businesses. By this time, I say about half the women in the buildin’ wearing that Body Enchantment. You can tell by the way they sittin’ up straight, can’t hardly breathe, with they bosom crawling up to they neck. Plus when they turn around, you see a big chunk of fat right under the armpit. Look to me like Body Enchantment don’t do nothin’ but push the fat around.

Again, I kept my mouth shut. Maybe I was one of the haters Rev. Dukes always preachin’ about. Just seem like nothing but negativity come out of me lately when it come to the church.
I repent, Lord.

Mother Powell must have been the only one without a Body Enchantment suit ‘cause she got to shoutin’ and—y’all ain’t gone believe this—her stockings fell slamp to the ground! Most peoples was so busy carryin’ on, they didn’t see it, but I did.

She booked over and grabbed ‘em real fast, tried to slide ‘em up real quick. Lord, I like ta rolled of that pew laughing.
I repent again, Lord. Gimme some kind of compassion from somewhere.

I knew then it was time for a fast. Cut back on feeding the flesh, give my spirit more to work with ‘cause I couldn’t keep going down this road with Mt. Zion. Even if Geneva let go soon, it would take Pastor a time to move on.

I got to do better.
Can’t be standing in the gap for my granddaughter while I got a big gap open in my own life.

While Nikki gabbed with Cynthia ‘nem at the front of the church after the benediction, I made my way to the church kitchen to get Cameron. Soon as I walked in the door, Cameron saw me. He yelled, “Watch us, Mama B!”

He turned and asked Brandon, “Can you turn on the music so my great-grandma can watch us practice?”

“We don’t want to spoil the surprise, do we?” came from Brandon.

I shrugged, set my back against the wall. “I don’t mind seein’ it more than once.”

Brandon looked at the boy working with him. They got a kind of funny look on they face. “Okay. Here we go.”

Cameron and his little friends stood in a row, backs to me. Then the music started and the boys got to steppin’. This time they didn’t miss a beat. Clappin’, slappin’ hands, hoppin’. Whew! Tell you what, somebody oughta put them on T.V.!

I reckon the song they was dancin’ to probably come from the world, but they cut out the words, so I couldn’t rightly prove it.

Until they got to the chorus. Cameron and the rest clasp they hands together, press they index fingers and thumbs together like they got a gun. Man on the song say, “Pull out the forty-two, pull out the forty-two, pull out the forty-two.”

Forty-two!

Before I knew it, I was in Brandon’s face. “Did I interpret this right? You gon’ have these boys pretendin’ like they got guns? In the churchhouse, too?”

He bent down and pushed a button to turn off the music. Took a step back and said to me with a half-laugh on his face, “Ma’am, it’s not what you think.”

“Well, then, explain to me what it
is
?”

He started talking with his hands. “It’s like a weapon of warfare.”

The other young man working with Brandon started sniggering, like I can’t see him out the corner of my eye.

“I done read all the weapons Christians use, and ain’t nary one of ‘em a gun. Who gave y’all permission to use this song?”

Brandon said, “We’ve used it at our old church. Really, I mean, the song is what you make of it. You can think of it as a gun, or you can think of it like…Matthew chapter forty-two.”

The other young man nearly doubled over in silent laughter.
These boys must think I’m an old fool
. “Maybe I could
think
of it like Matthew chapter forty-two if there
was
a Matthew chapter forty-two.”

I grabbed Cameron’s hand and escorted him and Rosetta’s boys back inside the sanctuary and straight to the vestibule. I turned them over to Nikki, asked her to take the other boys home and get started with Cameron’s nightly routine.

Fear flashed across her face.

“Chile, go on. Ain’t nothin’ gon’ happen to you in my house.” I shooed her away.

My next step was to wait for Rev. Martin and Rev. Dukes. Mother’s Board or not, this talent show was bound to be a bunch of mess with folk like Brandon headin’ it up. Got my great-grandson actin’ like he carryin’ a gun. That’s the
last
thing little black boys need to be practicin’ for. We got enough problems in our community without the church addin’ to ‘em.

Rev. Martin and the good preacher was the last ones to the front, seein’ as they got to lock the doors. Evidently, Brandon had already got to them before I did ‘cause Rev. Dukes started the conversation with, “Hello, Mama B. Brandon tells me you had some concerns about the boys’ step routine.”

Push the mad out, keep the love in. Push the mad out, keep the love in
. “Rev. Dukes, these boys plannin’ to perform to a song about a gun, and act like they totin’ guns in the show.”

I saw the smile on his face just as stupid as the one on Brandon’s. “There’s nothing to fear. You know, a song is whatever you make it to be in your mind. And I think you’re missing the point of this youth rally. We’re going to bring in kids from this area who wouldn’t normally find themselves at a church on a Friday night. Let them perform in a safe place rather than on a street corner. Feed ‘em a hot dog and chips, send them home at a decent hour.”

My head cocked to one side. “They gon’ get fed any word here?” I knew when I said it, it was a stupid question. He ain’t bit mo fed the grownups the word, so I knew he wasn’t gon’ give it to the kids.

Rev. Martin asked, “Would you feel better if we did it in the fellowship hall rather than the sanctuary?”

I got to give it to him. He tried to compromise. Some things don’t need to be compromised, though. “Rev. Martin, the church
ain’t
the world. We not out to compete with the world—playin’ music glorifyin’ guns, dancin’ like we on a music picture show. What’s the difference between us and a nightclub? Free hot dogs?”

Rev. Dukes put his hands up. “With all due respect, Mama B, you’ve got to understand things are changing. We have to do things differently to reach this generation. We have to try new stuff.”

As wrong as I thought he was, I could hear how sincere Rev. Dukes was. He meant every word he said, from the bottom of his heart. So I said to him real calmly, “Son, it’s one thing to entertain kids, another to raise ‘em up with a heart for God. Kids don’t need a bunch of new stuff. They need
true
stuff, the message of Christ, if you want to make a difference in they lives past Friday night.”

A little vein popped out in Rev. Dukes head. Guess he got tired of talking to me. “The talent show will go on as planned. Good night, Mama B.”

And he walked out the church with Brandon’s crew trailing behind.

Me and Rev. Martin was the only ones left. I stepped outside the church doors, waited on the deck while he locked all the switches.

“Rev. Martin, I know Rev. Dukes some kin to you all, but right is right and wrong is wrong. And you know Pastor Phillips wouldn’t go for this foolishness.”

He fiddled around with the padlock longer than he had to. “Listen, I know what you’re saying, but Rev. Dukes
is
family. His heart is in the right place, and he does know the way. I think he’s just off on a prosperity tangent right now. I don’t want to blacklist him.”

I agreed, “Nobody tryin’ to blacklist anybody. We just tryin’ to—”

“Between you and me, I don’t believe Pastor’s wife is going to hold on much longer. Once she goes on home to glory, Pastor will be back and Mt. Zion can get back to normal.”

Sounded like a coward move to me. Still, I couldn’t be too mad at him. Just a few hours earlier, I felt the same way. Until I saw what Brandon had in store for my grandson. Made me think not only about Cameron, but about everybody else’s little boy fall under Brandon and Rev. Dukes’ guidance.

“I know Pastor left you in charge to keep everything going smooth. You got to recognize, good heart or not, family or not, Rev. Dukes doin’ more harm than good right now.”

Rev. Martin sighed, stared down at me with tired eyes. “Mama B, I got this, okay?”

Chile, I know when a man get a certain look on his face, ain’t nothin’ else you can say to him. He done heard all he can hear at the moment, and he shuttin’ down so he can go process what you done said. Best thing to do in that point is shut-up.

“Night, Rev. Martin.”

“Good night. I’ll watch you until you get in your house.”

Chapter 23

One more thing I know about when a man gets like that: ain’t nothin’ else you can do aside from gettin’ down on your knees and askin’ God to do what you can’t. So, that’s exactly what I did when I got home. Got in that groove I done made from my elbows sinking in the mattress. Prayed to the Lord not only for Mt. Zion, but for Rev. Dukes’ regular church and all the other ones that must be going off track. Chasing the things of this world. Forgetting to take the cross over while they tryin’ to crossover. Just done forgot about Jesus altogether.

My heart got heavier the longer I prayed. Thought about all the violence in the streets, the ungodly influences our boys under. How they gon’ learn the truth if they under leaders who don’t read the word? Preachers who ain’t disciplined enough to sit up under the Holy Spirit and let Him teach them how to divide the word rightly?

I also told the Lord I didn’t plan on going to that talent show. Much as I loved Cameron and wanted to see him perform, I couldn’t support him in what I felt was wrong-doing. I knew Nikki looked up to the Dukes so much, she wouldn’t agree with me.

Made me sad I had ever insisted she come to Mt. Zion, considerin’ the current state of affairs.

Then I listened. Waited for Him to tell me my part; if He wanted me to do something else in addition to fastin’ and prayin’.

Started searching through the scriptures, thinking about all the times the people of God fought for the church. And when I landed in second Chronicles, I realized the Lord had decided to answer me in His word.

I like ta fell out laughin’ when I saw it ‘cause seem like every time I get myself all worked up over something, the Lord have to come in and remind me I ain’t runnin’ nothing. This ain’t about people hatin’ on me, like Rev. Dukes said.

This battle never belonged to me in the first place. It was His.

Chapter 24

Libby helped me practice how I was going to explain to Cameron about not going to the talent show. At first, I wasn’t gon’ say nothin’, but I know how much he was looking forward to me being there. I didn’t want him distracted by looking for me in the audience.

“Be sure and tell him you love him,” Libby said.

“Got it.”

“And ain’t nothin’ against him,” she reminded me.

“I got that part already,” I said. We was near the end of our walk, and I was near the end of my extra breath. No time for repeatin’ stuff.

Time we got back to my home, we saw Cameron sitting in the living room crying, Nikki hugging him.

“What’s wrong?”

“They’re thinking about canceling the talent show tonight,” she informed me. “Apparently, you’re not the only one who’s kind of upset about how things are going.”

“Oh,” was all I could say. Whatever the Lord was putting on the other peoples’ hearts wasn’t my fault – that’s His doing.

Nikki gently pushed Cameron off of her. “Cameron, go to our room. I need to talk to Mama B.”

I turned to Libby. “I’ll see you later.”

“Alright.”

She left out while Nikki stormed off to the kitchen. I followed behind Nikki, ready to listen to what she had to say.

Nikki put one hand on her hip and the other on the counter. Guess she called herself about to give me a piece of her mind. “Cameron and his friends have worked very hard for this talent show. And they’ve gone door to door getting support. They’ve sold a lot of tickets, too.”

“Tickets?”

She bucked her eyes out. “Yes. V.I.P. tickets. For people who want to sit on the front rows at the church.”

“This the first time I ever heard of such!”
Lord, have mercy!

“Well…Cynthia told me you wouldn’t be happy about it. So I didn’t say anything.”

I bobbed my head up and down. “She’s one hundred percent right that I’m not happy about it. And what’s the money goin’ to?”

Nikki lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess the church.”

Well, ain’t that something? Gon’ give up the front pews to the highest bidders.
Wonder where they expect me and the rest of us who ain’t payin’ a red dime to get into our own church to sit. “Nikki, I hope they do cancel this talent show. This thing got trouble written all over it.”

“How can you say that? It’s just a bunch of kids singing and performing in church.”

I shook my head. “I wish y’all would stop saying ‘performing’ anyway. ‘Posed to be praisin’ at church. When they gon’ decide?”

“Rev. Martin said he’d call us back and let us know for sure,” she said.

“Well, far as I’m concerned, it’s canceled for me. I ain’t goin’ to the talent show even if they do have it.”

Nikki’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, and let me explain why.” Even if I wasn’t going to speak my mind to the whole church, I needed to let my own granddaughter to understand. “Nikki, I believe the Dukes are sincere in their desire to help people. But they’re sacrificing the truth for what’s popular, and that’s not right. So, no. I won’t be coming to the talent show.”

Suddenly, I heard a shuffling sound behind me. Cameron.

“Mama B, you’re not coming to the show?”

Real slow, I turned to face him. I knew he wouldn’t understand, which is exactly why I didn’t want it to come out like this. That ‘ole devil! Author of confusion.

I walked toward him, put a hand on his shoulder. “Cameron, I love you and I’m so very proud of all the hard work you done with the stomp group. But I don’t believe God will be pleased by the dances Brandon done taught y’all. So, no. I won’t be there.”

I tell you, that boy started boo-hooin’ like a two-year-old in need of a nap. Nearly broke my heart.

And it didn’t get no easier once Cameron took his shower and got all dressed up for the show. Had on all black, like one of those—whatchama call it?—Ninja, some kind of turtles, I think.

“You look mighty handsome, Cameron,” I told him, sitting on the couch in my lounging clothes.

He wouldn’t even look up at me. “Thank you.”

Nikki walked into the kitchen and peeked out the window. “Go on over to the church, Cameron. I see some cars already over there.”

He skipped out the back door. Nikki watched him until he entered Mt. Zion, I presumed. Then she came back to the den and stood over me. “You sure you won’t be there?”

“Nikki, I done already explained where I stand on this and why.” I walked back to the den, flipped on the television and let it play. Didn’t matter what was on the screen, my mindwasn’t studyin’ no show anyway ‘cause my spirit was doin’ flips inside my body.

She followed me like a lost, hungry puppydog. “Are you for real? How can you do this to Cameron? Do you have any idea how much he adores you?”

My face twitched as she went on.

“Every night since we moved here, when he and I pray together, you are the
first
person he mentions to God. Especially last night, when he asked God to make you come to the talent show.”

“Well, Cameron’s old enough for you to teach him that he has to pray the will of God, not just what he wants.”

She tightened the corners of her mouth. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Kept my focus on the screen ahead.

She grabbed her purse. “Alrighty, then.”

Now that they was both gone, I turned off the tube, headed back to my room. Tried to pray, but for some reason, felt like I couldn’t. So I paced through the house, from the front door to the back. Wasn’t eatin’ ‘cause of the fast.

Wasn’t like me. Wasn’t like Him, either.
What’s wrong, Lord?

And clear as a bell, I heard one word in my Spirit: GO.

I knew without the whole sentence He was talkin’ ‘bout the talent show. I stood flat-footed in my den and asked out loud, “Lord, why You want me to go there? You ain’t nowhere in that talent show.”

Tell you what, my brain was doin’ all kinds of jumping jacks in my head, busy and tryin’ to figure out God’s plan. How was I supposed to go over to the church and show my support for something so ungodly? So worldly? When Albert and I donated the land for Mt. Zion, we did it to glorify God and make His name great. Now, these folk want to use it for a infomercial and to mock His name? God forbid!

I paced through two more times before it hit me: my mind was no longer shakin’, by then my insides had settled down. And God wasn’t talkin’ to me no more.

“Lord, do I
really
have to go?”

I know it don’t make no sense to try and argue with God. He gon’ win. Even if I half to look foolish while He does whatever He does.

And one more thing I know about God; He practice the Rule of One with me, too. He tell me something, He ain’t gon’ talk about it no more until I respond.

I walked back to the kitchen, looked through the curtains. Lot of cars in the church parking lot. More than we done had in a while.

Figured maybe I could sit on the back row. Come to think of it, I might not have a choice seein’ as I didn’t have a V.I.P. ticket.

Do I really, really, really have to go?

Why would He want me to go feast my eyes on such a hurtful sight? Had I been wrong this whole time about Rev. and Cynthia Dukes? Maybe they was onto something and
I
was the one off kilter.

Maybe my pride was the problem.

Whatever it was, I knew He would make it clear real soon.

“Lord, I don’t know why, but at Your word, I’m going to that talent show.”