Man and Superman and Three Other Plays (41 page)
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Authors: George Bernard Shaw
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JUDITH Yes: you mean that you do not love me.
RICHARD [
revolted
â
with fierce contempt]
Is that all it means to you?
revolted
â
with fierce contempt]
Is that all it means to you?
JUDITH What moreâwhat worseâcan it mean to me?
[The SERGEANT knocks. The blow on the door jars on her heart].
Oh, one moment more.
[She throws herself on her knees].
I pray to youâ
[The SERGEANT knocks. The blow on the door jars on her heart].
Oh, one moment more.
[She throws herself on her knees].
I pray to youâ
RICHARD Hush!
[Calling]
Come in. [The
SERGEANT unlocks the door and opens it. The guard is with him].
[Calling]
Come in. [The
SERGEANT unlocks the door and opens it. The guard is with him].
SERGEANT
[coming in]
Time's up, sir.
[coming in]
Time's up, sir.
RICHARD Quite ready, Sergeant. Now, my dear.
[He attempts to raise her
]
.
[He attempts to raise her
]
.
JUDITH
[clinging to him
] Only one thing moreâI entreat, I implore you. Let me be present in the court. I have seen Major Swindon: he said I should be allowed if you asked it. You will ask it. It is my last request: I shall never ask you anything again.
[She clasps his knee
]
.
I beg and pray it of you.
[clinging to him
] Only one thing moreâI entreat, I implore you. Let me be present in the court. I have seen Major Swindon: he said I should be allowed if you asked it. You will ask it. It is my last request: I shall never ask you anything again.
[She clasps his knee
]
.
I beg and pray it of you.
RICHARD If I do, will you be silent?
JUDITH Yes.
RICHARD You will keep faith?
JUDITH I will keepâ
[She breaks down, sobbing].
[She breaks down, sobbing].
RICHARD
[taking her arm to lift her]
Justâher other arm, Sergeant.
They go out, she sobbing convulsively, supported by the two men.
[taking her arm to lift her]
Justâher other arm, Sergeant.
They go out, she sobbing convulsively, supported by the two men.
Meanwhile, the Council Chamber is ready for the court martial. It is a large, lofty room, with a chair of state in the middle under a tall canopy with a gilt crown, and maroon curtains with the royal monogram G. R.
bw
In front of the chair is a table, also draped in maroon, with a bell, a heavy inkstand, and writing materials on it. Several chairs are set at the table. The
door is at the right hand of the occupant of the chair of state when it has an occupant: at present it is empty. MAJOR SWINDON, a pale, sandy haired, very conscientious looking man of about 45, sits at the end of the table with his back to the door, writing. He is alone until the SERGEANT announces the GENERAL in a subdued manner which suggests that GENTLEMANLY JOHNNY has been making his presence felt rather heavily.
bw
In front of the chair is a table, also draped in maroon, with a bell, a heavy inkstand, and writing materials on it. Several chairs are set at the table. The
door is at the right hand of the occupant of the chair of state when it has an occupant: at present it is empty. MAJOR SWINDON, a pale, sandy haired, very conscientious looking man of about 45, sits at the end of the table with his back to the door, writing. He is alone until the SERGEANT announces the GENERAL in a subdued manner which suggests that GENTLEMANLY JOHNNY has been making his presence felt rather heavily.
SERGEANT The General, sir.
SWINDON rises hastily. The general comes in: the SERGEANT goes out. GENERAL
BURGOYNE
is
55,
and very well preserved. He is a man of fashion, gallant enough to have made a distinguished marriage by an elopement, witty enough to write successful comedies, aristocraticallyconnected enough to have had opportunities of high military distinction. His eyes, large, brilliant, apprehensive, and intelligent, are his most remarkable feature: without them his fine nose and small mouth would suggest rather more fastidiousness and less force than go to the making of a first rate general.just now the eyes are angry and tragic, and the mouth and nostrils tense.
BURGOYNE
is
55,
and very well preserved. He is a man of fashion, gallant enough to have made a distinguished marriage by an elopement, witty enough to write successful comedies, aristocraticallyconnected enough to have had opportunities of high military distinction. His eyes, large, brilliant, apprehensive, and intelligent, are his most remarkable feature: without them his fine nose and small mouth would suggest rather more fastidiousness and less force than go to the making of a first rate general.just now the eyes are angry and tragic, and the mouth and nostrils tense.
BURGOYNE Major Swindon, I presume.
SWINDON Yes. General Burgoyne, if I mistake not.
[They bow to one another ceremoniously].
I am glad to have the support of your presence this morning. It is not particularly lively business, hanging this poor devil of a minister.
[They bow to one another ceremoniously].
I am glad to have the support of your presence this morning. It is not particularly lively business, hanging this poor devil of a minister.
BURGOYNE
[throwing himself into SWINDON's chair]
No, sir, it is not. It is making too much of the fellow to execute him: what more could you have done if he had been a member of the Church of England? Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
bx
However, you have committed us to hanging him: and the sooner he is hanged the better.
[throwing himself into SWINDON's chair]
No, sir, it is not. It is making too much of the fellow to execute him: what more could you have done if he had been a member of the Church of England? Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
bx
However, you have committed us to hanging him: and the sooner he is hanged the better.
SWINDON We have arranged it for 12 2 oâclock. Nothing remains to be done except to try him.
BURGOYNE
[looking at him with suppressed anger]
Nothingâexcept to save our own necks, perhaps. Have you heard the news from Springtown?
[looking at him with suppressed anger]
Nothingâexcept to save our own necks, perhaps. Have you heard the news from Springtown?
SWINDON Nothing special. The latest reports are satisfactory.
BURGOYNE
[rising in amazement]
Satisfactory, sir! Satisfactory!!
[He stares at him for a moment, and then adds, with grim intensity]
I am glad you take that view of them.
[rising in amazement]
Satisfactory, sir! Satisfactory!!
[He stares at him for a moment, and then adds, with grim intensity]
I am glad you take that view of them.
SWINDON
[puzzled]
Do I understand that in your opinionâ
[puzzled]
Do I understand that in your opinionâ
BURGOYNE I do not express my opinion. I never stoop to that habit of profane language which unfortunately coarsens our profession. If Idid, sir, perhaps I should be able to express my opinion of the news from Springtownâthe news which y o u
[severely]
have apparently not heard. How soon do you get news from your supports here?âin the course of a month, eh?
[severely]
have apparently not heard. How soon do you get news from your supports here?âin the course of a month, eh?
SWINDON
[turning sulky]
I suppose the reports have been taken to you, sir, instead of to me. Is there anything serious?
[turning sulky]
I suppose the reports have been taken to you, sir, instead of to me. Is there anything serious?
BURG0YNE
[taking a report from his pocket and holding it up]
Springtown's in the hands of the rebels.
[He throws the report on the table] .
[taking a report from his pocket and holding it up]
Springtown's in the hands of the rebels.
[He throws the report on the table] .
SWINDON [
aghast
] Since yesterday!
aghast
] Since yesterday!
BURGOYNE Since two oâclock this morning. Perhaps we shall be in their hands before two o'clock to-morrow morning. Have you thought of that?
SWINDON
[confidently]
As to that, General, the British soldier will give a good account of himself.
[confidently]
As to that, General, the British soldier will give a good account of himself.
BURGOYNE
[bitterly]
And therefore, I suppose, sir, the British officer need not know his business: the British soldier will get him out of all his blunders with the bayonet. In future, sir, I must ask you to be a little less generous with the blood of your men, and a little more generous with your own brains.
[bitterly]
And therefore, I suppose, sir, the British officer need not know his business: the British soldier will get him out of all his blunders with the bayonet. In future, sir, I must ask you to be a little less generous with the blood of your men, and a little more generous with your own brains.
SWINDON I am sorry I cannot pretend to your intellectual eminence, sir. I can only do my best, and rely on the devotion of my countrymen.
BURGOYNE
[suddenly becoming suavely sarcastic]
May I ask are you writing a melodrama, Major Swindon?
[suddenly becoming suavely sarcastic]
May I ask are you writing a melodrama, Major Swindon?
SWINDON
[flushing]
No, sir.
[flushing]
No, sir.
BURGOYNE What a pity! What a pity!
[Dropping his sarcastic tone and facing him suddenly and seriously)
Do you at all realize, sir, that we have nothing standing between us and destruction but our own bluff and the sheepishness of these colonists? They are men of the same English stock as ourselves: six to one of us
[repeating it emphatically
] six to one, sir; and nearly half our troops are Hessians, Brunswickers, German dragoons, and Indians with scalping knives. These are the countrymen on whose devotion you rely! Suppose the colonists find a leader! Suppose the news from Springtown should turn out to mean that they have already found a leader! What shall we do then? Eh?
[Dropping his sarcastic tone and facing him suddenly and seriously)
Do you at all realize, sir, that we have nothing standing between us and destruction but our own bluff and the sheepishness of these colonists? They are men of the same English stock as ourselves: six to one of us
[repeating it emphatically
] six to one, sir; and nearly half our troops are Hessians, Brunswickers, German dragoons, and Indians with scalping knives. These are the countrymen on whose devotion you rely! Suppose the colonists find a leader! Suppose the news from Springtown should turn out to mean that they have already found a leader! What shall we do then? Eh?
SWINDON
[sullenly]
Our duty, sir, I presume.
[sullenly]
Our duty, sir, I presume.
BURGOYNE
[again sarcastic
â
giving him up as a fool]
Quite so, quite so. Thank you, Major Swindon, thank you. Now youve settled the question, sirâthrown a flood of light on the situation. What a comfort to me to feel that I have at my side so devoted and able an officer to support me in this emergency! I think, sir, it will probably relieve both our feelings if we proceed to hang this dissenter
by
without further delay
[he strikes the bell]
especially as I am debarred by my principles from the customary military vent for my feelings.
[The SERGEANT appears].
Bring your man in.
[again sarcastic
â
giving him up as a fool]
Quite so, quite so. Thank you, Major Swindon, thank you. Now youve settled the question, sirâthrown a flood of light on the situation. What a comfort to me to feel that I have at my side so devoted and able an officer to support me in this emergency! I think, sir, it will probably relieve both our feelings if we proceed to hang this dissenter
by
without further delay
[he strikes the bell]
especially as I am debarred by my principles from the customary military vent for my feelings.
[The SERGEANT appears].
Bring your man in.
SERGEANT Yes, sir.
BURGOYNE And mention to any officer you may meet that the court cannot wait any longer for him.
SWINDON
[keeping his temper with difficulty]
The staff is perfectly ready, sir. They have been waiting your convenience for fully half an hour. Perfectly ready, sir.
[keeping his temper with difficulty]
The staff is perfectly ready, sir. They have been waiting your convenience for fully half an hour. Perfectly ready, sir.
BURGOYNE
[blandly]
So am I.
[Several officers come in and take their seats. One of them sits at the end of the table furthest from the door, and
acts throughout as clerk to the court, making notes of the proceedings. The uniforms are those of the 9th,
20th,
21 st, 24th, 47th, 53rd, and
62nd
British Infantry. One Officer is a Major General of the Royal Artillery. There are also German Officers of the Hessian Rifles, and of German dragoon and Brunswicker regiments].
Oh, good morning, gentlemen. Sorry to disturb you, I am sure. Very good of you to spare us a few moments.
[blandly]
So am I.
[Several officers come in and take their seats. One of them sits at the end of the table furthest from the door, and
acts throughout as clerk to the court, making notes of the proceedings. The uniforms are those of the 9th,
20th,
21 st, 24th, 47th, 53rd, and
62nd
British Infantry. One Officer is a Major General of the Royal Artillery. There are also German Officers of the Hessian Rifles, and of German dragoon and Brunswicker regiments].
Oh, good morning, gentlemen. Sorry to disturb you, I am sure. Very good of you to spare us a few moments.
SWINDON Will you preside, sir?
BURGOYNE
[becoming additionally polished, lofty, sarcastic and urbane now that he is in public]
No, sir: I feel my own deficiencies too keenly to presume so far. If you will kindly allow me, I will sit at the feet of Gamaliel.
[He takes the chair at the end of the table next the door, and motions SWINDON to the chair of state, waiting for him to be seated before sitting down himself].
[becoming additionally polished, lofty, sarcastic and urbane now that he is in public]
No, sir: I feel my own deficiencies too keenly to presume so far. If you will kindly allow me, I will sit at the feet of Gamaliel.
[He takes the chair at the end of the table next the door, and motions SWINDON to the chair of state, waiting for him to be seated before sitting down himself].
SWINDON
[greatly annoyed
] As you please, sir. I am only trying to do my duty under excessively trying circumstances.
[He takes his
place in the chair
of
state].
[greatly annoyed
] As you please, sir. I am only trying to do my duty under excessively trying circumstances.
[He takes his
place in the chair
of
state].
BURGOYNE, relaxing his studied demeanor for the moment, sits down and begins to read the report with knitted brows and careworn looks, reflecting on his desperate situation and SWINDON's uselessness. RICHARD is brought in. JUDITH walks beside him. Two soldiers precede and two follow him, with the SERGEANT in command. They cross the room to the wall opposite the door; but when RICHARD has just passed before the chair of state the SERGEANT stops him with a touch on the arm, and posts himself behind him, at his elbow. JUDITH stands timidly at
the
wall. The four soldiers place themselves in a squad near her.
the
wall. The four soldiers place themselves in a squad near her.
BURGOYNE
[looking up and seeing JUDITH]
Who is that woman?
[looking up and seeing JUDITH]
Who is that woman?
SERGEANT Prisoner's wife, sir.
SWINDON
[nervously]
She begged me to allow her to be present; and I thoughtâ
[nervously]
She begged me to allow her to be present; and I thoughtâ
BURGOYNE
[completing the sentence for him ironically
] You thought it would be a pleasure for
her.
Quite so, quite so.
[blandly]
Give the lady a chair; and make her thoroughly comfortable.
[completing the sentence for him ironically
] You thought it would be a pleasure for
her.
Quite so, quite so.
[blandly]
Give the lady a chair; and make her thoroughly comfortable.
The SERGEANT fetches a chair and places it near RICHARD.
JUDITH Thank you, sir.
[She sits down after an awestricken curtsy to BURGOYNE, which he acknowledges by a dignified bend of his head].
[She sits down after an awestricken curtsy to BURGOYNE, which he acknowledges by a dignified bend of his head].
SWINDON
[to RICHARD, sharply]
Your name, sir?
[to RICHARD, sharply]
Your name, sir?
RICHARD
[affable, but obstinate]
Come: you dont mean to say that youve brought me here without knowing who I am?
[affable, but obstinate]
Come: you dont mean to say that youve brought me here without knowing who I am?
SWINDON As a matter of form, sir, give your name.
RICHARD As a matter of form then, my name is Anthony Anderson, Presbyterian minister in this town.
BURGOYNE
[interested]
Indeed! Pray, Mr. Anderson, what do you gentlemen believe?
[interested]
Indeed! Pray, Mr. Anderson, what do you gentlemen believe?
RICHARD I shall be happy to explain if time is allowed me. I cannot undertake to complete your conversion in less than a fortnight.
SWINDON
[snubbing him
] We are not here to discuss your views.
[snubbing him
] We are not here to discuss your views.
BURGOYNE
[with an elaborate bow to the unfortunate
SWINDON] I stand rebuked.
[with an elaborate bow to the unfortunate
SWINDON] I stand rebuked.
SWINDON [
embarrassed
] Oh, not you, I asâ
embarrassed
] Oh, not you, I asâ
BURGOYNE Dont mention it. [To RICHARD,
very politely]
Any political views, Mr. Anderson?
very politely]
Any political views, Mr. Anderson?
RICHARD I understand that that is just what we are here to find out.
SWINDON
[severely]
Do you mean to deny that you are a rebel?
[severely]
Do you mean to deny that you are a rebel?
RICHARD I am an American, sir.
SWINDON What do you expect me to think of that speech, Mr. Anderson?
RICHARD I never expect a soldier to think, sir.
BURGOYNE is boundlessly delighted by this retort, which almost reconciles him to the loss of America.
SWINDON
[whitening with anger]
I advise you not to be insolent, prisoner.
[whitening with anger]
I advise you not to be insolent, prisoner.
RICHARD You cant help yourself, General. When you make up your mind to hang a man, you put yourself at a disadvantage with him. Why should I be civil to you? I may as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.
SWINDON You have no right to assume that the court has made up its mind without a fair trial. And you will please not address me as General. I am Major Swindon.
RICHARD A thousand pardons. I thought I had the honor of addressing Gentlemanly Johnny.
Sensation among the officers. The sergeant has a narrow escape from a guffaw.
BURGOYNE
(with extreme suavity]
I believe I am Gentlemanly Johnny, sir, at your service. My more intimate friends call me General Burgoyne.
[RICHARD bows with perfect politeness].
You will understand, sir, I hope, since you seem to be a gentleman and a man of some spirit in spite of your calling, that if we should have the misfortune to hang you, we shall do so as a mere matter of political necessity and military duty, without any personal ill-feeling.
(with extreme suavity]
I believe I am Gentlemanly Johnny, sir, at your service. My more intimate friends call me General Burgoyne.
[RICHARD bows with perfect politeness].
You will understand, sir, I hope, since you seem to be a gentleman and a man of some spirit in spite of your calling, that if we should have the misfortune to hang you, we shall do so as a mere matter of political necessity and military duty, without any personal ill-feeling.
RICHARD Oh, quite so. That makes all the difference in the world, of course.
They all smile in spite of themselves; and some of the younger officers burst out laughing.
JUDITH
[her dread and horror deepening at every one of these jests and compliments]
How can you?
[her dread and horror deepening at every one of these jests and compliments]
How can you?
RICHARD You promised to be silent.
BURGOYNE
[to JUDITH, with studied courtesy]
Believe me, Madam, your husband is placing us under the greatest obligation by taking this very disagreeable business so thoroughly in the spirit of a gentleman. Sergeant: give Mr. Anderson a chair.
[The SERGEANT does so. RICHARD sits down].
Now, Major Swindon: we are waiting for you.
[to JUDITH, with studied courtesy]
Believe me, Madam, your husband is placing us under the greatest obligation by taking this very disagreeable business so thoroughly in the spirit of a gentleman. Sergeant: give Mr. Anderson a chair.
[The SERGEANT does so. RICHARD sits down].
Now, Major Swindon: we are waiting for you.
SWINDON You are aware, I presume, Mr. Anderson, of your obligations as a subject of His Majesty King George the Third.
RICHARD I am aware, sir, that His Majesty King George the Third is about to hang me because I object to Lord North's robbing me.
SWINDON That is a treasonable speech, sir.
RICHARD
[briefly]
Yes. I meant it to be.
[briefly]
Yes. I meant it to be.
BURGOYNE
[strongly deprecating this line of defence, but still polite]
Dont you think, Mr. Anderson, that this is ratherâif you will excuse the wordâa vulgar line to take? Why should you cry out robbery because of a stamp duty and a tea duty and so forth? After all, it is the essence of your position as a gentleman that you pay with a good grace.
[strongly deprecating this line of defence, but still polite]
Dont you think, Mr. Anderson, that this is ratherâif you will excuse the wordâa vulgar line to take? Why should you cry out robbery because of a stamp duty and a tea duty and so forth? After all, it is the essence of your position as a gentleman that you pay with a good grace.
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