Margaritifer Basin (Margaritifer Trilogy Book 1) (70 page)

She nodded.

“Gabe, twenty minutes ago you said
you wished this morning’s launch had blown up. Didn’t sound to me like you were
joking.”

She stared at the table, wringing
her hands, and shook her head.

“Sue, you haven’t said anything,
but your silence these past few days has been pretty loud.”

She glanced at him and shrugged.

Jeff smiled and nodded. “Yeah, kind
of thought so. We’re in the T minus 11-hour hold, and the countdown is due to
resume in about four and a half hours. If we’re going to scrub this launch –
and the mission – now would probably be a good time to do it.”

They all glanced at him.

He shrugged. “If all of you are
having misgivings, well, you’re not alone. Yeah, I’ve also been having second
thoughts, and a lot of them. Gabe, I’m scared too.” He shook his head. “I can’t
imagine anyone not being. I’m scared of launching, I’m scared of seven months
in space, I’m scared of a year and a half on Mars, if we even make it down from
orbit alive, and another seven months in space, and I’m scared of reentering
Earth’s atmosphere and splashing down in the ocean in a capsule that was
designed and built by a bunch of guys that died of old age years ago. However,
in spite of being scared out of my wits, I still want to go.” He rested his
elbows on the table, his chin on his hands and shook his head. “But I can’t do
this alone, and don’t want to. Any of you still want to go with me? Or do I
call the NASA Administrator and tell him to bring out the backup crew he’s been
quietly preparing in case something happens to us.” He glanced around, waiting
for a response.

After a few moments, Gabe slowly
raised her hand.

“Gabriel, do you have something to
say?”

She looked up at him and winced.
“Yes. I do wish it had blown up.” She shook her head. “But it didn’t.” She
dropped her gaze and stared at the table. “Do you remember what I told you in
your office after we determined where
Pathfinder
landed?”

Jeff smiled and nodded. “Yes, I
remember.”

“Nothing’s changed, except that
what I told you is even more true today. Wherever you go, I want to go with
you. Even if it’s Mars.”

He reached across the table and
grasped her hands. She looked up. He gazed into her eyes. “That’s good. Because
wherever I go, I want you to come with me.”

She smiled, nodded, and stopped
wringing her hands.

He glanced at Abby and Susan, who
then glanced at each other.

Susan stared at the table for a
while then looked at Jeff. “I don’t have Gabe’s memory, so I don’t recall
exactly what I was thinking four years ago. But it was probably something like,
‘This is too fantastic to ever actually happen, but it sounds interesting, and
he’s offering me an awful lot of money’.”

Jeff smiled at her.

She shook her head. “But here we
are. I’m not afraid of dying, that happens to all of us. When our time is up,
that’s it. But I do have some notions of a full life I’d like to live. However,
if I stop now, I don’t know what life would be left for me.” She smiled at
Jeff. “Yes, I’ll go with you. Not because it is the path I choose, but because
it’s the only path I can go down… and live with myself.”

Jeff reached across the table,
smiled, and grasped her hand. “Thank you.” Then he turned to Abby. “You were
the first to sign on. You said you wanted to go less than an hour after we met.
I’m a little surprised that you’d have cold feet now.”

Abby glared at him. “Cold feet?
You’ve got it all wrong. I don’t have cold feet. God, there’s nothing more I
want than to go.”

He raised his eyebrows and stared
at her. “Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem is, I’m never going to
get to lay on that beach with you.” She nodded at Gabe. “I can’t compete with
her, and I’ll just be in the way. You don’t need me; you can fly that hunk of
junk without me. It’s been great fun, but this isn’t going to work.” She pushed
back from the table and stood.

“Sit down,” said Gabe.

Abby gave her a surprised glance.
“Huh?”

Gabe glared at her. “I said, sit –
down!”

Abby sat.

Gabe took a deep breath and sighed
aloud. “I have my own dream of how this fairy tale should play out. But that
doesn’t mean my dream will come true. In two and a half years in space and on
another planet a lot can happen.” She shook her head. “Abby, in case you
haven’t noticed, I’m not stupid. And, I wear these…” she jiggled her glasses,
“…but I’m not blind.” She pointed at Jeff. “I know you love him…” she glanced
at Susan, “…and you do too.” She paused, took another deep breath and turned
back to Abby. “You don’t know how this story will end, and neither do I. Who
knows? Maybe I’ll fall in a crater and become just another piece of man-made
junk littering the planet. So,
carpe diem
. Put your footprints on Mars,
and worry about tomorrow… tomorrow. Besides, let’s face it, we’re probably all
going to die up there. I’d prefer that we didn’t, but it is a real possibility.
Do you want to be remembered as the one that chickened out at the last minute,
and didn’t go? Do you want to be the one watching TV when we’re all
posthumously awarded the Congressional Space Medal of Honor? Do you want to be
the one that
doesn’t
get a school named after you? The one that
everybody just whispers about? The footnote? You’d still be alive but, badass
fighter jock, is that what you really want?”

Abby glared at her. “And I always
thought you were a certifiable nut-case.”

Gabe grinned.

Abby turned to Jeff. “Why couldn’t
you have just gone with two couples?”

“You know why.”

She nodded.

“And Gabe’s right, it ain’t over
till the fat lady sings.”

Abby rubbed her forehead and
sighed. “Yeah, alright. Shit, I guess all three of us are going with you.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Lord have
mercy.” Then he looked at each of them. “Alright then, shall we get on with
it?”

Tuesday, March 22,
2016 (T minus 5 hours, 27 minutes)

Jeff
rolled over in bed and glanced at the countdown clock on the wall. 03:07:24,
and counting. He looked at his watch, 0609. Not much point in trying to get to
sleep now, there’d be a knock on the door in 10 or 15 minutes, shortly after
the T minus 3-hour hold was initiated. As he lay there in the dark, watching
the clock tick down, he realized what he really wanted to do at the moment was
go down the hall to Gabe’s room, hang out the Do Not Disturb sign, and jump
into bed with her. If he were to die this morning, regret at not doing that
would probably be his final thought.

All the planning, work, training,
and… expense, and here he was; five and a half hours from launch. Jeff thought
he should be excited, but he wasn’t. In fact, he was scared shitless. What was
I thinking? Abby was right; it still wasn’t too late. On the other hand,
Heidi’s Jupiters had performed flawlessly… so far. The Sundancer and
provisions, and the EDS, were in orbit and waiting for them, and there was no
reason to expect this launch wouldn’t go just as well as the others. Still, he
had to admit they’d been lucky, very lucky. Thirteen launches connected with
the mission. Not including Atlas V and Jupiter variants, seven different launch
vehicles from three countries, and including boosters, over 900 tons of
payload. All successful. Nobody else on Earth had a record like that. Very
lucky. But then, there was always that flip of the coin. It can come up heads
thirteen times in a row, but the odds of tails on the fourteenth toss are still
50:50.

If they made it to orbit, maybe
they should just spend a few days admiring the view, then report some problem,
de-orbit and come home. It would still be a hell of an accomplishment… closer
to footprints on Mars than anyone else had got, or even tried to get. He rubbed
his face. But like Sue said, could he live with that?

03:00:00 and the countdown clock
stopped. It’s time. Crap.

Jeff switched on the bedside lamp,
got up and pulled on a bathrobe. He wanted a cigarette. God, how he wanted a
cigarette! There was a knock at the door. Ugh, they sure don’t waste any time.
He crossed to the door and opened it.

“Good morning, Captain,” said
Molly. “You’re already up.”

“Yeah, didn’t sleep much.”

She smiled softly. “That’s
typical.”

“I suppose so.”

“We’re holding at T minus 3 hours
and the Test Director has given the Go for flight crew wakeup.”

Jeff nodded. “Molly, don’t you ever
sleep?”

She grinned and shook her head.
“Not when there’s a launch. Breakfast is ready in the dining room. Following
that, we’ll head over to the briefing room, give you your weather briefing, and
then proceed to suit-up. And we’ll be departing for the launch pad in about two
hours.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Jeff showered, shaved, brushed his
teeth, pulled on a flight suit and headed for the dining room. He wasn’t
hungry, but a cup of coffee sounded good. A couple shots of bourbon sounded
better, but he hadn’t seen a bar in the O&C building. Damn. In the dining
room he found a chef at the breakfast buffet and Abby sitting alone at the
table with a cup of coffee. “Good morning.”

She glanced up. “Morning, boss.”

He walked over to the buffet and
poured a cup for himself.

“Would you care for breakfast,
sir?” said the chef.

Jeff shook his head. “Thanks, but I
don’t think so.”

The chef smiled softly, and gave
him an understanding nod.

Jeff figured that he’d done this
before. He strolled to the table and sat opposite Abby. “How’d you sleep?”

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”

She nodded.

“You’re not eating?”

Abby shook her head. “Not hungry.”

Jeff stared at her, puzzled. “You?
Not hungry? That’s a first.”

“No. I dunno, it just feels a
little too much like a condemned man’s last meal.”

Jeff chuckled. “Yeah, I know what
you mean.”

The door opened and Gabe and Susan
entered. Morning greetings were exchanged, they poured cups of coffee, and
joined Jeff and Abby at the table.

He glanced back and forth between
them. “Doesn’t look like you two slept much.”

They both shook their heads.

“Okay, that makes it unanimous.” He
looked at Gabe. “Want some breakfast?”

She gave him a sickly frown. “No. I
only like seeing my food once. If I eat something, a minute after SECO I’ll be
seeing it again. No thank you.”

Abby cringed and groaned. “God,
that’s gross. Make sure you’ve got a barf bag.”

Gabe rolled her eyes. “I have a
whole stack of them.”

Jeff smiled and glanced at Susan.
“How about you?”

“No thank you. The only thing I want
this morning is a handful of sedatives.”

Abby smirked and pointed at her.
“Now there’s an idea. Maybe we could climb into the Command Module, take a
couple pills, and just sleep through the whole damn thing.”

Jeff chuckled. “Yeah, right. As
soon as NASA’s Flight Surgeon saw we were all asleep, they’d recycle to the T
minus 20-minute hold and wait for us to wake up.”

She shook her head. “Government
employees; no sense of humor. Between capsule ingress and orbital docking, the
only
thing we have to do is close and lock visors at T minus two minutes; the
computers do the rest. Jesus, how hard can it be?”

“Abby, I think the basic concept is
that we’re supposed to be participants. You know, one way or another at least
show casual interest.”

Molly entered the dining room
carrying a round cake, about a foot and a half across, that bore a striking
resemblance to the 1980 Viking I mosaic image of Mars, and adorned with the
Ares
mission patch. Half a dozen O&C astronaut support technicians accompanied
her. Smiling, she set the cake on the table. “This was traditional for shuttle
launches, thought you guys might enjoy it.”

Gabe raised an eyebrow. “It was
traditional before shuttle launches to eat a cake that looks like Mars?”

Molly chuckled. “Um…”

Abby groaned. “Pay no attention to
her, she’s a little slow this morning.”

Gabe leaped from her chair, grabbed
her stomach with one hand, covered her mouth with the other, and ran for the
bathroom.

Jeff stood as Molly and the support
team looked on with concern. “Relax, she’s fine. Nervous stomach. But I do
think she speaks for all of us, she’s just a bit more demonstrative about it.
This is really nice, Molly, and thank you.” He glanced at Abby and Susan; they
both shook their heads. “Tell you what, if you’ll freeze this, we’ll be more
than happy to eat it when we get back.”

Molly nodded. “I understand.”

“If memory serves, the last U.S.
manned space mission without a space flight-experienced astronaut aboard was
Gemini VIII, Armstrong and Scott. That was almost exactly 50 years ago… and
didn’t go so well.” Jeff forced a smile. “This perhaps isn’t the best
occupation for on-the-job training, so I hope you’ll forgive us for being a bit
jittery.”

“Of course.”

A minute later Gabe returned,
looking a little green around the gills. “Sorry.”

Jeff smiled at her. “You okay?”

“Define, ‘okay’.”

He chuckled. “Never mind.” He
turned to Molly. “I think the best thing for us is to keep busy. What say we
get on with it?”

“Sure. Why don’t we head over to
the briefing room and get you the weather, though from what I hear, there’s not
much to talk about. Promises to be a boringly pleasant day.”

Jeff grinned. “I can do boringly
pleasant.”

#

Before dressing, Jeff used the
bathroom. Then used it again. Too much coffee. The Advanced Crew Escape Suit’s
Maximum Absorbency Garment was the one piece of issue gear that he preferred
not to have to test. His mind suddenly flashed to the scene of Scott Glenn
portraying Alan Shepard in
The Right Stuff
, waiting to launch in
Freedom
7
and having to pee so bad he couldn’t stand it. Jeff shook his head. Let’s
try not to go there. Once attired in NASA’s version of “Depends” – which
probably cost a whole lot more than the ones you could buy at Wal-Mart – he
donned the two-piece blue Liquid Cooling Garment and headed for the suit-up
room. He encountered Abby in the hall, similarly attired. “I thought it took
women a long time to dress?”

She rolled her eyes. “Dress? No.
It’s the makeup and hair that takes time, and I’m not worrying about that
today.”

“Well, you look very fashionable.”

“I’ve looked better.”

Jeff grinned. “Um, yeah, but these
things look better on you than they do on me.”

She smirked. “An empty cement bag
would look better on me than you.”

“No argument.” Gabe and Susan were
already in the suit-up room when they arrived, sitting back in recliners as
their suits were being prepared for entry. He shook his head. “You two in some
kind of hurry?”

Gabe frowned. “You said to keep
busy.”

He dropped into his recliner beside
her. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”

“Well?”

“Yeah. Did you know that this is
the very same room in which Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Mike Collins
suited up for Apollo 11?”

She nodded. “Yes, and every U.S.
manned space flight since Apollo.” She glanced around the room. “It’s
humbling.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “There are some amazing ghosts
walking these halls.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah.”

“Alright, Captain, you know the
drill,” said a USA suit technician.

Jeff stuck his legs through the
back of the ACES then, bending over as far as he could, inserted his arms and
head, then shoved forward and up, pushing his head through the watertight
neoprene dam neck ring, and standing. “Ugh.”

“That’s good sir, you’re in.”

Once the suit was zipped and
sealed, Jeff again sat while the technician slipped on his boots. Then he
stood, was connected to life support, had his helmet and gloves fitted, and the
suit pressure tested.

All the components of Jeff’s suit
had a small Velcro patch attached with a red letter “A” – Commander. For Abby
there was a yellow “B” – Pilot. For Gabe, a blue “C” – Engineer, and for Susan,
a green “D” – Surgeon. When they once again had to suit-up in space – for
orbital insertion or re-entry – it made sorting who belonged to what a bit
easier.

The technician gave him a thumb up.

Jeff nodded.

His helmet and gloves were then
removed and set aside for refitting in the White Room on the launch tower. “You
doing alright, sir?”

“Yeah, fine.”

Finally, his pockets were stuffed
with survival items – flares, radios, dye markers – and pencil, flashlight… and
a photograph of Marsha.

“Okay, sir, you’re all set.”

“Thanks.” He glanced down the room
at Gabe, Abby, and Susan, all now attired in bright orange launch suits. They
all stepped forward and met in the center of the room. Jeff squinted at Abby.
“You know, that color doesn’t really suit your hair.”

She laughed. “Yeah, I know.
Wouldn’t be my first choice in fashion statements.”

“Oh, I dunno… not many folks get to
wear these.”

Gabe twisted her head around. “I
hate these neck rings.”

Jeff chuckled. “They keep the water
out.”

“We’re going into space, not
water.”

“If we have to abort the launch, we
might go into water.”

“I’d rather not.”

He caressed her cheek. “Okay, then
let’s skip that step.”

Susan reached into a suit pocket
and pulled out a small vial. “Anyone want Dramamine?”

Gabe thrust her hand out. “Yes!”

Susan gave her a pill, took one
herself, then glanced at Abby.

Abby smiled and shook her head.
“You’re kidding?”

Susan shrugged and looked at Jeff.

“No, I think I’ll be alright.”

“If you say so.”

Jeff grinned, then turned to Molly.
“Alright, let’s go.”

They took the elevator downstairs
and exited through the traditional double doors leading to the historic
33-year-old Astrovan, still in use because the astronaut corps refused to let
NASA replace it; too much tradition to junk. They waved to the gathered throng
of photographers, climbed in, found seats and USA technicians plugged their
suits into coolant water supplies available at each seat. Hal and Silvia
Creighton were already inside.

“We thought you guys
might enjoy a little company,” said Silvia.

Jeff nodded. “Yeah,
thanks.”

During the Space
Shuttle era, they would have also been joined by an astronaut to be dropped off
at the shuttle landing strip to fly one of NASA’s Gulfstream II Shuttle Training
Aircraft to assess local weather conditions. But since all of those were now
museum pieces, Jeff had contracted with NOAA to provide their Gulfstream IV-SP,
Gonzo
, for the same duty, and it was already in the air.

As the convoy left
the O&C building and turned west onto NASA Parkway East, Hal glanced around
at them and said, “Anything we can help with? Last minute questions?”

“What’s it like?”
said Gabe.

“What? A launch?”

She nodded.

“Well, I haven’t
flown one of your Jupiters, but I imagine it’s a lot like the shuttle; bumpy.
But don’t worry about it. You guys have a pretty good track record. Trust in
your ship. When you reach about 3 g’s, it’s kind of like being a bug meeting a
windshield, but it passes quickly. Just sit back and enjoy it. It’s the mother
of all E-ticket rides, and not many folks get to experience it.”

Gabe nodded.

Hal took Silvia’s
hand. “I’ll tell you, we wish you had a couple of spare seats in there. We’d go
with you.”