Marionette (23 page)

Maybe being surrounded by strangers
was
better, and Julia said I could eat all I wanted. I planned on making good on that promise.

Hours later, I was finding my job to be pretty easy. The restaurant was slammed from the get-go. As soon as Julia flipped over the sign announcing that we were open, customers poured in like lava from a volcano. I ran around like mad, taking orders, bringing food and drinks, and collecting money. The beauty of it was that I didn’t have any time to think. Not once did a vision of my mother or Alex flash before my eyes. I worked, and that’s all.

Before I knew it, I was done. The new shift came in to relieve us, and Jess, Mel, and I sat down at a table for dinner. Not only was I satisfied with the day, I was seventy-five dollars richer.

“How much moolah did you get?” Jess whipped out her share as she asked.

“Seventy-five,” I said proudly.

“Ninety,” said Mel.

“That’s great, girls. We rocked today, didn’t we?” Jess beamed.

“Wait, how much did you make? Your wad looks bigger than mine and Mel’s put together.”

I reached over to snatch the bills, but Jess swatted my hand away. “Don’t be grabby.”

“How much, Jess?” whined Mel.

“Over a hundred.”

I eyed Mel, who nodded. Mel made a move for the money, and Jess tried to swat her away while I grabbed the pile.

“One hundred and twenty-five! How? We had the same amount of tables?” I was astonished.

“What can I say, people like me?” Jess blushed.

“Or they’re afraid of you.”

I looked up and saw Weasel.

“Of
moi
, who would be afraid of me?” Jess winked at him.

“People with secrets.” Weasel scowled down at her.

Mel gave him a swift kick to the shins under the table.

Jess just smiled sweetly at him as Mel pulled his arm to get him to sit. Weasel did so reluctantly.

“Hi Wesley, long time no see.” Julia strolled over with sandwiches and beers, and did her best to sound genuine.

“Hi, Julia. Business is booming.” Weasel waved his arms at all the customers.

“Yes, thanks to Jess.” Julia patted the top of Jess’s head.

Weasel didn’t say anything; instead, he grabbed one of the sandwiches and chomped half of it off. Bits of pulled pork dangled out of his mouth, painting his chin with sauce. He slurped up the meat with a sound that made my stomach turn. Then he wiped his mouth on his sweatshirt. Watching him eat was grotesque.

“Oh, finally, someone who eats just as bad as Paige.” Jess squeezed my leg under the table.

I wanted to shout, “I do not look like that!” Then I thought that maybe I did. I had never watched myself eat in front of a mirror. I picked up my sandwich and took a dainty bite, and then carefully dabbed my mouth with a napkin. I never wanted to be compared to Weasel again. Never!

“Oh my goodness, it knows how to use a napkin,” exclaimed Julia.

Seriously, did I eat like Weasel? The thought horrified me. I took another careful nibble and dabbed my mouth again.

“It’s a miracle!” shouted Jess. Then she whispered in my ear, “You aren’t as bad as him, but close. Darn close.”

Lesson learned. I would no longer inhale food and wipe my mouth on my sleeve. Yes, I loved pissing my parents off, but looking like the Weasel, well that was too much, even for me. Life was too short to be a Weasel.

Weasel raised his beer and tipped the bottle until half of it was gone in one gulp. I couldn’t help but stare. Before, whenever we ate together, I usually stared down at my plate and took little notice of him. Now, it was like watching an animal documentary. He ate like a wild beast that had traveled across a desert without food or water for days, maybe months. He was revolting.

Chapter Seventeen

My Monday morning didn’t start off well. Streetlights peeking through the blinds woke me to a strange weight on my bed. Karen was sitting next to me, intent on gaining my complete attention.

“Paige, are you awake?”

“I am now. What’s wrong?” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned.

“Nothing. I wanted to say sorry for keeping you up late the other night, and thank you for rescuing me.” She looked like a child who just been busted for breaking into the sweets jar.

I laughed bitterly. “You woke me up to apologize for keeping me up the other night.”

Her girlish giggle told me my bitterness had no effect. “I guess I did. Ironic, huh?”

Staring blankly at her, I didn’t respond.

“Well, thanks. You’re a good friend, Paige, even though you try hard not to show that you are.” She leaned down and gave me a hug.

“Next time, can you brush your teeth before you give me a hug?”

She swatted my arm. “You don’t smell that great either.”

I sniffed my armpit. “Yuck!” I smelled like sweat, pulled pork sandwiches, and stale beer. After my shift last night at Julia’s, I’d hopped in the car and rushed back to my dorm. Jess had plans with friends and I was beat from my first working weekend.

“You want to grab some grub before class?”

I was surprised that Karen had asked. Usually, she and Jenna ate with their teammates in an effort to stay “as one” to improve their play; it wasn’t working. Their team had the worst record in the division, not that Karen cared. Jenna, though, was quite unhappy. I don’t think she’d lost a game before coming here. Her high school team won state and she was the star of her entire school. Losing was not the norm for Jenna, and it was completely unacceptable.

“Meet you down there in ten minutes. I want to shower and change my clothes first.”

Karen nodded and waddled off to her own room.

Minnie didn’t budge in her bed. I wondered whether she was purposely ignoring us or whether she was still dead to the world. She wasn’t a morning person and all of her classes started after 11 a.m.

When I reached the cafeteria, Karen already had a plate stacked with bacon, eggs, and toast.

“Do you always have three glasses of milk with your meals?” I gestured to her hoard.

“I love milk. Anything with milk. I could never live without milk.” To prove her point, she gulped the entire glass and then wiped her milk moustache on her shirtsleeve.

I had never been a fan of milk, maybe because I wasn’t breastfed. I don’t know. I found the stuff thick and revolting. I could handle cheese, but plain milk—‌no way.

“How was your weekend?” Karen stabbed some eggs with her fork.

“Not bad. Started a new job. Yours?”

“You got a job?” She looked baffled.

“Yeah, why?”

“I thought you were rich.”

Taken aback by her bluntness, I said, “Not really. What made you think that?”

“You’re an Alexander. My parents showed me one of your pictures in the paper.” She guzzled another glass of milk.

“Oh, that.” I sipped my orange juice. “So much for being incognito.” I shrugged.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t shared that with anyone. I didn’t think you’d appreciate it.” She winked at me.

I leaned back in my seat, studying her. This was a side of Karen I had never seen.

“Thanks for that. It’s weird when people know.”

“I can imagine. Your dad has quite the reputation in this state.” She buttered her toast.

She had no idea.

“So, what did you do this weekend?” I changed the subject.

Karen’s frown told me she knew I was purposefully diverting her away. “Oh, not much. I felt like shit on Saturday and my coach chewed me out. Apparently it was my fault that we lost. Again.” She waved the idea away.

I loved that nothing bothered her. “How did Jenna take it?”

“She’s not talking to me.”

“Really? It bugs her that much to lose?”

“I’m learning that. Notice how she doesn’t hang out with us much. Most of the time, she doesn’t talk to anyone. She’s a sore loser.”

I finished my Cheerios and said goodbye. My first class started in five minutes. I was regretting taking French so early in the morning. The teacher had a way of saying
bonjour
in such a cheery way it made my bones rattle. Morning people sucked.

By 2 p.m., I was spent and sitting in the student center. When I spied Liddy, I waved to her nonchalantly, enough that I wouldn’t be considered rude, but not so much that people would think I had a connection with a headshrinker. Not that many people actually knew she was one, I guessed.

She took my wave as an invitation. I groaned as she approached, but I still cleared the seat next to me so she could sit down.

“Hi, Paige.”

“Hello, ma’am.”

The ma’am made her smile. “My, aren’t we formal today?”

I fidgeted with my pen. “How was your weekend?”

“Fine. Whatcha doing? Homework?” She motioned to my notebooks and papers.

“Yeah.” Carefully I slid my photocopies under my books. I wasn’t in the mood to deflect questions about them.

“I won’t keep you from it. You look good, Paige. See you Friday.”

Seconds later, Tom sidled up next to me and wrapped his arm over my shoulder. At first, I thought he was going to give me a kiss. Instead, he gave a friendly squeeze.

“How ’bout having lunch with me, Paige?” He slipped into the seat across from me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Liddy take notice. Great!

“Where do you have in mind?” I asked my faux boyfriend.

“Fancy Mexican?” His eyes shimmered.

My stomach grumbled and color rushed to my face.

“Goodness, we better get going.” Tom flashed a sweet smile.

I had hardly finished packing my bag and had made to sling it over my shoulder when Tom took it from me.

Again, Liddy took notice. She watched intently from across the room.

I gave her a wave and rushed out. Did she notice how red I was? Would she know what I was up to?

One reason I had wanted to go this school was that it was small, but not
too
small. Not everyone knew each other. However, I hadn’t factored in one thing: a small place meant most people knew each other. It was not the best planning on my part if I truly wanted to keep my life private.

Chapter Eighteen

Friday arrived and I prepared myself for a deluge of questions from Liddy. Who was the boy? Why was he carrying my bag? Had Jess and I broken up? What happened to being a lesbo?

I wasn’t expecting Liddy to ignore it altogether, but she did.

“How was your week, Paige?”

“Just dandy, and yours?”

Liddy locked her eyes on mine. “I have no complaints.”

Really? Because I have tons
. I wondered what her daily life consisted of. Listening to clients bitch and complain all day—‌how fucking annoying. Shrinks should figure out who can be helped and then kill the rest. Boom! Done!

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Liddy’s question brought me back to the room.

“Uh, can I pass on that one?” I tapped my fingers on the arm of my chair.

“Maybe. Why don’t we go back to last week’s session?”

I interrupted, “If I answer your question, can we not go back?” I smiled to cajole her.

It didn’t work.

“I don’t think so, Paige.” She moved her head from side to side.

I wasn’t buying the act. “But you aren’t positive. I was thinking that people who are depressed are downers to be around and that you and your colleagues should start selecting the hopeless cases and picking them off. Why bother?”

“So you consider yourself hopeless?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. If I said yes, would she put me in an institution? Images from
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
flashed before my eyes.

“Can you stop asking me questions?” I rubbed my face with both hands. “All questions. Even, ‘How do you like your coffee?’”

“I already know the answer to that one.”

I looked up confused. “What?”

“With lots of sugar.”

I smiled meekly. “What is it like?

“What do you mean, Paige? I have a feeling you aren’t talking about drinking coffee.”

I chuckled, but it sounded more like a cat hacking up a hairball. “Correct. What’s it like dealing with people like me?”

“You mean hopeless cases?” Her raised eyebrow suggested that she didn’t subscribe to that belief.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t see you that way. I don’t see any of my clients that way.”

“Really? Come on. Could you have helped Hitler?”

She laughed. “Thankfully, he was never one of my clients. Now what’s going on? You can stall all you want, but we will address the issue you are so desperately trying to dance around.”

I sighed heavily. “It started five years ago.”

Liddy looked like she wanted to pat me on the back and say, “I knew you could do it.” Instead, she nodded her head for me to continue.

“Alex tried to tell me—‌to warn me—‌but I was too stupid to heed it.”

“What do you mean? What did she warn you about?”

“That’s just it, she just kept telling me that we had to get out. We had to leave before they found out. Before they acted.”

“Who? What?” Liddy wriggled in her chair, clearly eager for me to spit it out.

“My parents. She warned me about my parents.”

“What did she say?”

“That we needed to leave.”

“Leave? Leave for where? From what?”

“Home. We had to leave home.”

“Why?”

“She wouldn’t tell me. She just kept saying we had to leave. That if they found out we knew, we were done for.”

I stood up and paced the tiny room. The walls seemed to move closer and closer, and I frantically tried to escape by striding back and forth.

“Paige, tell me everything she said.”

“I wish I could. I don’t remember much.” I tugged on my collar, trying to get air. “All I remember was that she kept saying we had to leave. No matter what, we had to leave.”

“Did you?”

“No.” I stopped dead in my tracks. “No, I didn’t. At the time, Alex was always hopped up on coke. I thought she was having a bad episode, and I ignored her.”

“What did she say?”

“I didn’t understand much. She was panicking. I wanted to run away with her. I meant to. But I didn’t.”

“Did she?”