Married in Seattle (12 page)

Hours later, Janine was awakened by a gruff sobbing sound coming from the other room. It took her a moment to realize it was Zach. Was he having a nightmare?

Folding back the covers, she got out of bed and hurried into his room. The cries of anguish grew louder. In the light from the hallway, she could see him thrashing about, the bedding in disarray.

“Zach,” she cried, rushing to his side. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hands gently on his shoulders. “Wake up. You’re having a dream. Just a dream. It’s okay….”

Zach’s eyes slowly opened. “Janine.” He ground out her name as though in torment and reached for her, hauling her into his arms with such force that he left her breathless. “Janine,” he said, his voice so husky she could barely understand him. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“Z
ach, I’m fine,” Janine whispered. Emotion clogged her throat at the hungry way his eyes roamed her face. He seemed to have difficulty believing, even now, that she was unhurt.

“It was so real,” he continued, his chest heaving. He hid his face as if to block out the vivid images the dream had induced. Making room in the large bed, he pulled her down beside him. His hands stroked her hair as he released several jagged breaths. “We were at the ocean,” he told her, “and although I’d warned you against it, you decided to swim. A huge wave knocked you off your feet and you were drowning. Heaven help me, I tried, but I couldn’t get to you fast enough.” He shut his eyes briefly. “You kept calling out to me and I couldn’t find you. I just couldn’t get to you fast enough.”

“Zach,” she whispered, her mouth so close to his that their breath mingled, “I’m right here. It was only a dream. It wasn’t real.”

He nodded, but his eyes still seemed troubled, refusing to leave her face. Then ever so slowly, as though he expected her to object, he moved his mouth even closer to hers. “I couldn’t bear to lose you. I’d rather die myself.”

Helpless to deny him anything, Janine turned her face to receive his kiss.

His hands tangled in her thick dark hair, effectively holding her captive, while his mouth seized hers in a kiss that sent her senses swirling. Nothing mattered except his touch. Overcome for a moment by the fierce tenderness she felt in him, Janine eagerly fed his need.

“Janine, oh, my dear sweet Janine. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

“I’m here…I’m here.” Melting against him, she molded her body to the unyielding contours of his, offering her lips and her heart to his loving possession. Again and again, he kissed her. Janine slid her hands up his chest and twined them around his neck. This was what she’d longed for from the first, the knowledge that he needed her, and she gloried in the sensation.

With a groan, he reluctantly pulled his mouth from hers. He held her firmly to his chest, his breathing harsh and rapid. Peace combined with a delirious sense of happiness, and Janine released a deep sigh. Pressing her ear to his chest, she listened, content, to the heavy pounding of his heart.

“Did I frighten you?” he asked after a minute.

“No,” she whispered.

He resumed stroking her hair as she nestled more
securely in his arms. Zach had made her feel wondrous, exciting things every time he kissed her, but the way he held and touched her now went far beyond those kisses. She’d experienced a bonding with Zach, a true joining of spirits that had been missing until now. He had told her he’d cherish her, but she hadn’t believed it until this moment. Tears clouded her eyes and she struggled to restrain them.

For a long while neither of them spoke. But Janine didn’t need words. Her eyes were closed as she savored this precious time.

When Zach did speak, his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. “I had a sister who drowned. Her name was Beth Ann. I’d promised I’d always be there for her—but I failed her. I couldn’t bear to lose you, too.”

Janine tightened her hold, knowing how difficult it must be for him to speak of his sister.

“I never forgave myself.” His body tensed and his fingers dug roughly into her shoulder. “Losing Beth Ann still haunts me. She wouldn’t have drowned if I’d been with her. She—”

Lifting her head slightly, Janine’s misty gaze met his. “It wasn’t your fault. How could it have been?”

“But I was responsible for her,” he returned harshly.

Janine suspected that Zach had rarely, if ever, shared his sorrow or his guilt over his sister’s death with anyone. A low groan worked its way through him and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “For years, I’ve drummed out the memories of Beth Ann’s death. The nightmare was so real, only this time it wasn’t her—it was you.”

“But I’m safe and sound. See?” She pressed her hands to both sides of his face, smiling down on him.

He sighed and smiled back, a little uncertainly. “I’m all right now. I shouldn’t have burdened you with this.”

“It wasn’t a burden.”

His arms tightened around her, and he inhaled deeply as if absorbing her scent. “Stay with me?”

She nodded, grateful that he needed her.

Within minutes, Janine felt herself drifting into drowsiness. From Zach’s relaxed, even breathing, she knew he was already asleep.

When Janine next stirred, she was lying on her side, and Zach was cuddling her spoon fashion, his arm about her waist. At some point during the night, she’d slipped under the covers, but she had no recollection of doing so. A small satisfied smile touched the edges of her mouth. She rolled carefully onto her back so as not to disturb Zach, and wondered what she should do. When Zach woke and found her in bed with him, she was afraid he might regret what had happened, regret asking her to stay. He might feel embarrassed that he’d told her about his sister’s death and the guilt he still felt.

Closing her eyes, Janine debated with herself. If she left his bed and returned to her own room, he might think she was rejecting him, shocked by his heart-wrenching account of Beth Ann’s death.

“Janine?” He whispered her name, his voice husky with sleep.

Her eyes flew open. “I…we fell asleep. What time is it?”

“Early. The alarm won’t go off for another couple of hours.”

She nodded, hoping to disguise any hint of disappointment in her voice. He didn’t want her with him, she was sure of it. He was embarrassed to find her still in his bed. “I’ll leave now if you want.”

“No.”

The single word was filled with such longing that Janine thought she’d misunderstood him. She tipped her head back to meet his gaze. The light from the hall allowed her to see the passion smoldering in his dark eyes. Turning onto her side, Janine lovingly traced the lines of his face.

“I’m sorry about the way I behaved over…Marie,” she whispered. “I was jealous and I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. “I’ll forgive you if you’re willing to overlook the way I behaved when you got home last night.”

She answered him with a light kiss, and he hugged her to him. Janine surrendered to the sheer pleasure of being in Zach’s arms, savoring the rush of warm sensations that sprang to life inside her.

“I don’t know how to say all the words you deserve to hear, but I know one thing, Janine. I love you. It happened without my even being aware of it. One day I woke up and realized how important you’d become to me. It wasn’t the grand passion you wanted, and I’m sorry for that. The love I feel for you is the quiet steady kind. It’s buried deep in
my heart, but trust me, it’s there. You’re the most important person in my life.”

“Oh, Zach, I love you so much.”

“You love me?”

“I have for weeks, even before we were married. That’s what bothered me so much when I learned about Marie. I wanted you to love
me
with the same intensity that you felt for her…that I feel for you.”

“It isn’t like that. It never was. Marie was as brave as she was beautiful, but what we shared was never meant to last. And she was smart enough to understand that. I fell in love with her, but she was too much of a professional to involve her heart. She was the kind of person who thrives on excitement and danger. It wasn’t until you and I met that I realized if I were ever to marry, it would be to someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

He kissed her briefly. “A woman who’s warm and gentle and caring. Someone unselfish and—” he hesitated “—desirable.”

Her throat tightened with emotion, and it was all she could do to meet his gaze. Zach found her desirable. He wanted to make love to her. He didn’t need to say it; the message was there for her to read in his eyes. It wasn’t the desperate passion she’d once craved, but his love, his need to have her in his life, was far more potent than any action he could have taken, any words he could have said.

“Love me, Zach,” she whispered simply.

Zach’s mouth touched hers with a sweet desperate ardor.
If she had any lingering doubts they vanished like mist in the sun as his lips took hers, twisting her into tight knots of desire.

His arms locked around her and he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. His hands outlined her face as though he half expected her to stop him.

“Make me your wife,” she said, bending forward to brush her moist mouth over his.

Zach groaned, and then he did the strangest, most wonderful thing. He laughed. The robust sound echoed across the room and was so infectious that it made Janine laugh, too.

“My sweet Janine,” he said. “You’ve changed my life.” And then he kissed her again, leaving her with no doubts at all.

For a long time afterward, their happiness could be heard in their sighs and gasps and whispered words of love….

The buzzing sound refused to go away. Janine moaned softly and flung out her hand, hoping to find the source of the distraction. But before she could locate it, the noise ceased abruptly.

“Good morning, wife,” Zach whispered.

Her eyes remained closed as she smiled leisurely. “Good morning, husband.” Rolling onto her back, she held her arms open to him. “I had the most marvelous dream last night.”

Zach chuckled softly. “That wasn’t any dream.”

“But it must’ve been,” she said, slipping her arms around his neck and smiling lazily. “Nothing could be that incredible in real life.”

“I didn’t think so, either, but you proved me wrong.” He
kissed her tenderly, and then so thoroughly that by the time he lifted his head, Janine was breathless.

Slowly, almost against her will, her eyes drifted open. His were dark with desire. “You’ll be late for work,” she warned him.

His smile was sensuous. “Who cares?”

“Not me,” she murmured. And with a small cry of pleasure, she willingly gave herself to her husband.

Zach was already an hour late for the office when he dragged himself out of bed and headed for the shower. Wearing her husband’s pajama top, Janine wandered into the kitchen and prepared a pot of coffee. She leaned against the counter and smiled into space, hardly aware of the passage of time.

A few minutes later—or perhaps it was longer—Zach stepped behind her and slid his arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck.

“Zach,” she protested, but not too strenuously. She closed her eyes and cradled her arms over his, leaning back against his solid strength. “You’re already late.”

“I know,” he murmured. “If I didn’t have an important meeting this morning, I’d skip work altogether.”

Turning in his arms, Janine tilted back her head to gaze into his eyes. “You’ll be home for dinner?”

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll be home for lunch.”

Janine smiled. “It’s almost that time now.”

“I know,” he growled, reluctantly pulling away from her. “We’ll go out to dinner tonight,” he said, kissing her again. His mouth was hot on her own, feverish with demand and
passion and need. He raised his head, but his eyes remained shut. “Then we’ll come home and celebrate.”

Janine sighed. Married life was beginning to agree with her.

At precisely five, Zach was back. He stood by the door, loosening his tie, when Janine appeared. A smile traveled to his mouth as their eyes met. Neither moved. They stared at each other as if they’d spent years apart instead of a few short hours.

Janine was feeling distinctly light-headed. “Hi,” she managed to say, shocked that her voice sounded more like a hoarse whisper than the cheery greeting she’d intended. “How’d the meeting go?”

“Bad.”

“Bad?”

He nodded slowly and stepped forward, placing his briefcase on the desk. “I was supposed to be listening to an important financial report, but unfortunately all I could do was wonder how much longer the thing would take so I could get home to my wife.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t the most intelligent bit of conversation she’d ever delivered, but just looking at Zach was enough to wipe out all her normal thought processes.

“It got to be almost embarrassing.” His look was intimate and loving as he advanced two more steps toward her. “In the middle of it, I started smiling, and then I embarrassed myself further by laughing outright.”

“Laughing? Something was funny?”

“I was thinking about your definition of romance. The
tryst on the moors was supplied by your grandfather. The walk along the beach, hand in hand, was supplied by me after the wedding. But the desperate passion, my dear sweet wife, was something we found together.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“I love you.”

They moved toward each other then, but stopped abruptly when the doorbell chimed. Zach’s questioning eyes met hers. Janine shrugged, not knowing who it could possibly be.

The second Zach answered the door, Anton flew into the room, looking more determined than Janine had ever seen him.

“All right, you two, sit down,” he ordered, waving them in the direction of the sofa.

“Gramps?”

“Anton?”

Janine glanced at Zach, but he looked as mystified as she did. So she just shrugged and complied with her grandfather’s demand. Zach sat down next to her.

Gramps paced the carpet directly in front of them. “Janine and I had lunch the other day,” he said, speaking to Zach. “Two things became clear to me then. First and foremost, she’s crazy in love with you, but I doubt she’s told you that.”

“Gramps—” Janine began, but her grandfather silenced her with a single look.

“The next thing I realized is that she’s unhappy. Terribly unhappy. Being in love is difficult enough but—”

“Anton,” Zach broke in, “if you’d—”

Gramps cut him off with the same laser-eyed look he’d sent Janine.

“Don’t interrupt me, boy. I’m on a roll and I’m not about to stop now. If I noticed Janine was a little melancholy at lunch, it was nothing compared to what I’ve been noticing about you.” Suddenly he ceased his pacing and planted himself squarely in front of Zach. “All week I’ve been hearing complaints and rumors about you. Folks in the office claim you’re there all hours of the day and night, working until you’re ready to drop.” He paused. “I know you, Zach, probably better than anyone else does. You’re in love with my granddaughter, and it’s got you all tangled up inside.”