Mary Ellen Courtney - Hannah Spring 02 - Spring Moon (22 page)

“No talking while I do this,” he said.

“You sound like my husband in bed,” I said. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I just said that!”

Fred smiled out the window and played deaf.

Jimmy looked at me like he knew things about me even I didn’t know. I could have held back on the pillow talk blabbing. I felt the need to rehabilitate my image.

“I have two children,” I said.

“That’s what happens when you stop talking,” he said.

He made some notes. I looked at Fred. Jimmy must have sensed that he was going too fast for me and gentled his voice.

“Have you ever had acupuncture?”

“No. Does it hurt?”

“Not when I do it. I wouldn’t go to a Korean. I’ll see you before breakfast. How long you keeping her, Fred?”

“A few more days,” said Fred. “They can set her up at home.”

“Good. We’ll make a plan,” said Jimmy. “Have you started trolling the internet for all the horrible and debilitating things waiting in your future with those pelvic fractures?”

“No,” I said.

“Well, when you do, go to the discussion groups for people who got knocked about riding horses.”

“I’m terrified of horses.”

“Smart. They’re dangerous. The people who ride them are crazy. It doesn’t matter what a horse does to them, they can’t wait to get back on. They’d be safer going over a cliff in an Audi.”

“I don’t want to ride a horse.”

“Well, you want something. Stick it on the end of your nose. I’ll see you early, don’t eat breakfast.”

He blew out as fast as he blew in. I turned to Fred.

“Meet Jimmy,” he said. “Okay, that’s your day. Jon bringing dinner?”

“Yes. Will you write him a prescription to have some fun?”

“He’s doing his job. For a guy like Jon, that is fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jon arrived with shrimp shack food. He joked that it was my night out. His lips were salty from a paddle. We ate while I told him about Jimmy’s horse rider theory.

“What’s your horse?” he asked.

“I’ve always wanted to paint. Since I was a little girl.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“It doesn’t? I had no idea that was going to come out of my mouth.”

“You describe the world like a painting.”

“My parents dropped me off for weekend painting lessons with a woman who lived in an old cottage on the rocks. I slept in a hammock under a potted banana tree on her patio. Her long gray hair had blonde stripes. She wore hand painted Dr. Scholl’s sandals. Her fisherman sweater was full of holes and covered with paint smudges. She was the opposite of my mother, so unselfconscious. I want to be old like her.”

“I hadn’t thought of Jackie as self-conscious,” he said. “Just self-absorbed.”

“Maybe they go together. Anyway, in the morning we lit a fire on the rocks in front and cooked bacon in a cast iron pan. Then we poured pancake batter and maple syrup on top and ate the whole thing right out of the pan while we looked in tide pools. She taught me not to stick my finger in anemones. Which was okay with me. I don’t care what anybody says; it feels like they have teeth. She had watercolory abalone shells. I spent days mixing colors to match the inside of the shells. I never got homesick like I did at camp. Then my father died and everything changed.”

“It’s time to buy some paints,” he said.

“I don’t ever want to miss something again, Jon. Mom never showed up for anything. She’d get drunk and just leave me behind. She even forgot me at church after the Christmas Eve pageant. By the time I’d changed back into my Christmas dress she was gone. It was dark green velvet with red roses. I loved that dress, and then it just made me sad. Someone called Eric. The minister waited outside with me; he was impatient with our family.”

“I’m sorry, H.”

“It’s okay. What about you?”

“Penny never left us alone. Drove us crazy. She was always afraid something was going to happen.”

“I meant what is your passion?”

“Besides you?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to stay healthy and live long enough to travel with you. To see the kids grown up.”

“What about personally?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

“There must be something. Where do you want to travel? Tahiti?”

“Alaska. I want to see the northern lights.”

“Not a cruise, I hope,” I said.

He smiled at me.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.

He measured his hand against mine.

“I could still paint with only nine fingers,” I said. “There are people who paint with the brush between their teeth. Will you still want me? You always wrap your fingers in mine when we make love. Right at the end.”

He turned to me.

“I know,” I said. “I guess we’ll never go back there. I just hope we can find a way to be happy again. Some of the time at least.”

“We’re happy now,” he said. “We just need to get through this. I think you should go to sleep, you sound tired.”

He got up and collected dishes and wrappers and packed up.

“How were the babies after they saw me?”

“Megs wanted to know why you’re green and yellow. She told Chop you called her Angel. Chance really slept. I think he was relieved. I’ll bring them again tomorrow. We’re almost ready for you to come home.”

“Are the folks staying after I get home?”

“Man, I hope not. I appreciate their help, but I’m ready for them to leave. They probably feel the same way. My guess is they’ll stay a day or two until you’re settled in.”

“Make a graceful exit. Mom showed up this time. I guess that’s something.”            

He kissed me good night.

“Patricia said there might be some nerve damage from the fractures,” I said.

“Maybe you won’t want me again,” he said.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

The next morning Jimmy was quiet, his silhouette against sunrise.

“I watched the sunrise on tide pools through the cracked windshield. It was like a stained glass window,” I said. “The sun lit up the surface of each pool, like the sky had bored holes into the earth and filled each one with liquid sunrise. The moon did the same thing. Then the tide came in and washed it all away under blue water. I watched the sky and earth at the same time.”

“So you enjoyed the beauty,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. Am I supposed to do anything?”

“No. I’m going to put the needles in, you’ll rest about half an hour, and then I’ll remove them. We’ll talk after that.”

He lowered the bed and folded back the blanket. He started with my feet and hands, and then down the center of my head. He tapped a few into my belly just below my navel. He tapped some into my shoulder.

“Ow,” I said. “That felt like a shock in my mangled finger.”

He nodded and tapped in a few more. It wasn’t what I expected from needles. A few sent tiny distress signals, the rest felt like distant tugs. He sat down and went quiet. I wondered what he was doing. If he meditated or what. My mind traveled around and checked in with all the needles. I drifted off.

The needles clicked in the Sharps disposal box as he retraced his steps to remove them. He ran his fingers down the midline of my scalp. The fuzz growing out bristled. His pen clicked.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Bald,” I said.

“Would you like me to get a cover for your head?”

“No. Thank you. It’s okay. That didn’t hurt.”

“It’s supposed to help, not hurt.”

His pen scratched notes.

“What did you discover?” I asked.

“You’re strong. You should feel better after that. We’ll do it again later today.”

“What were you doing while the needles were in?”

“A sudoku puzzle.”

“I thought maybe you were meditating or something.”

“I try not to make things too complicated.”

“I’m worried about my baby. He’s only ten weeks old. He stopped eating while I was missing, like he knew.”

“Energetically you’re still one for a while after a baby is born. It takes a while to separate.”

“He’s not acting separated yet.”

“He’s not. It takes time.”

“What happens when I go home? It doesn’t sound like I can get out for a while to see you.”

“I make house calls. I’ll be treating your finger too. They want that watched closely.”

“Nobody makes house calls. We live out past Waimea. I can barely get a plumber.”

“So do we. Jon bribed me.”

“You talked to Jon?”
           

“Jon talks to everyone.”

I smiled at the idea that Jon was out there doing his thing. Man was a force of nature.

“Jon is very smart and very stubborn,” I said. “If it’s any consolation, he did the same thing to me. I didn’t even know I was dating him; the next thing I knew I had two babies.”

He smiled.

“He scares my agent,” I said. “Will you be treating me under duress?”

“I’ll be treating you on the way home. Jon promised beer.”

“Hold out for pie. He has killer pie.”

The hospital breakfast confirmed Jon’s diagnosis, bad food. I crept to the bathroom with the help of the nurse. I couldn’t even wipe myself without help. I was settled back in bed when Jane came in pulsing a serious vibe.

“The police will be here in a few minutes,” she said. ”I’d rather we had a chance to talk more, but they claim they’ve been put off long enough.”

“What do they want? I’m not clear about this.”

“At this point they just want to talk. The guys have changed their story since they got lawyers. Losing the baby changed things. They’re sticking together and saying they just passed you, that they weren’t harassing you.”

A couple of guys knocked and announced.

“Mrs. Moon?”

I don’t know what I expected, but they weren’t it. I’d never dealt with anything but actor cops. They didn’t look like they’d been cast to cover all the bases. They were skinny, medium height, 40-something white guys. Both had dark hair. One obviously did the driving, the left side of his face and his left arm were tan, and the other had the matching tan on his right side. The only things that distinguished one from the other, besides their before and after tans, were the crooked teeth in the right tan guy and different Hawaiian print shirts.

The driver was Detective Kawasaki; riding shotgun was Detective McClure. He might have a shotgun, but they didn’t inspire crime-fighting confidence.

“Call me Hannah. The only one who calls me Mrs. Moon is the high school helper at my daughter’s preschool.”

They wanted a recap of the evening. Jon and Fred came in right about the time I was describing my grandmother’s kitchen timer. They leaned against the wall and looked down at their feet. Jon glanced up with a worried look when I got to the disposable diapers and how I’d never used them before but thought maybe they’d be easier with two babies in diapers. Kawasaki and McClure weren’t taking notes. They looked like their eyeballs might dry out trying to look interested.

“I guess you don’t really need to know everything that was in my cart,” I said.

“It’s okay, Hannah,” said Jane. “Tell the story any way you want.”

I skipped ahead to the lights going out in the store and how Jon’s call attracted the attention of the guys drinking in their car. The detectives started jotting notes when the guys cruised by in the parking lot. They wanted to know if they’d said anything. They asked how close they had gotten to my rear bumper when they followed me. Before I flipped up the mirror they were so close I couldn’t see their headlights. I hadn’t remembered that until they asked.

I described them holding out my phone while the scar face guy showed me his tongue. I started crying. Jane wanted to wrap it up, but they had a few more questions.

“No. It didn’t seem like they were trying to run me into the wall,” I said. “It was a blind curve, I moved over. I was afraid they’d get hit by someone coming the other direction.”

“You were worried about those guys?” asked Kawasaki.

“I would have hogged the center,” said McClure. “Let them go over the cliff.”

“But what about the person coming the other way?” I asked.

They didn’t think there was any way to press charges. Confessing to Victor’s cousins hadn’t cost them anything more than a few broken bones. Everyone knew they were guilty; they weren’t pressing charges against the cousins. They were undoubtedly back at the beach, hitting the Hurricane, and bullshitting their version of events.

“We’re sorry this happened, Mrs. Moon,” said Kawasaki. “If we can get these guys we will.”

“I didn’t have any business being out there,” I said.

“Going to Walmart for diapers isn’t being out there,” said McClure. “We’ll let you know if anything changes.            

Jane and Fred followed them out. I looked at Jon.

“Was I wrong, Jon? Should I have forced them into the other lane?”

“I’m not the person to ask. They might have survived. I want them dead, off the planet, out of our world. That’s pretty much my only thought on the subject.”

“I’ve never heard you talk like that.”

“They almost killed you. We lost a baby. It was as much my fault as it was theirs.”

“You didn’t chase me down the road.”

“Yeah. I did.”

“I went on my own. You can’t take that on.”

“How did it go with Jimmy today?” he asked.

“It didn’t hurt, it tugged. He said Chance is fussy because he isn’t finished separating from me.”

Jon was looking out the window. His jaw was working.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said.

“It will be when you have your life back.”

“I don’t know what that means right now. This must be my life.”

“Your life isn’t broken in the hospital because some lowlife assholes drew a bead on you. It’s doing something you enjoy. Spending time with us.”

“Are you bringing the kids today?”

“I’ll bring them at lunch.”

“Did you threaten Jimmy?”

“Threaten? I offered him beer.”

“I love you, Jon. This isn’t your fault. You can’t take this on.”

“It makes no sense to me.”

“It must make sense in some place we don’t understand yet.”

“A parallel universe? That’s not this, H. You’re sitting here talking to me, the guy who made you unhappy enough to go to Walmart in the middle of the night. Then I called you, like shining a spotlight on you. You’d be better off with that guy in cowville.”