Maybe This Time (20 page)

A towel was thrust into his hand. “Is this what you’re looking for?” Sienna asked, amused.

“Thanks. Little bugger got me good.” Darcy wiped himself off.

“I’ll finish changing Billy if you want to go clean up.” Sienna moved into his place next to the table. “Then we can talk about Emma.”

“Thanks.” Darcy went next door to the bathroom. He ripped off his shirt and sluiced water over his face and upper body.
Talk about Emma.
That sounded ominous. How sick was she? What if it was serious? His hands stilled, water dripping from his hair and face. For a fractured moment he didn’t recognize himself. Who would he be without Emma in the world?

Then he shook the water from his eyes, blinked and reached for a dry towel. One minute he had only himself and his pub to worry about. Now Emma was lying sick in his bed, and a son he hadn’t wanted was under his direct care. His life had been turned upside down. But, strange as it seemed, he wouldn’t have it any other way. At least when they were both under his roof he could look after them.

He tiptoed into his room to get a clean shirt from the closet. Emma was asleep, her cheeks flushed but the rest of her skin pale against the vivid red of her hair. A lock had fallen over her eye. Softly he smoothed it away and felt the unnatural heat coming off her skin. The niggle of worry he carried for her intensified. Her lips were slightly parted and each breath she took in through her mouth rasped softly.

He went out and closed the door quietly. Next door, Sienna had Billy dressed in another one-piece sleeper of mint-green. When he saw Darcy his arms pumped up and down. Without hesitation, Darcy reached for him. “Let’s go into the living room.”

The window looked out over the soccer field, empty today. How long ago that day seemed when he watched the boys playing and felt the pain of his decision not to be a participating father. Funny how things worked out.

He and Sienna settled opposite each other on the red leather couches. “How bad is she?”

“She has viral pneumonia with a secondary bacterial infection,” Sienna said. “The sputum and blood samples I collected at my first visit confirm that diagnosis. Make sure she takes the full course of antibiotics. She needs complete bed rest for at least a week, though knowing Emma I suspect she’ll be up and about earlier. She should have sought treatment sooner.”

“I thought so,” Darcy said. “From what I gather she’s been working too hard and not taking care of herself.”

“From what you gather?” Sienna repeated delicately. “I know you and Emma aren’t married anymore, and you have your own lives. But surely through your contact with Billy you would have seen her condition deteriorate.”

“It slipped past me.” To his relief, Billy began to cry, derailing the conversation. He was ashamed of not being a father to his son, even though Emma had wanted to raise the child on her own. He’d been
glad
she’d pushed him out of the baby’s life. But no way did he feel comfortable confessing that to Sienna.

Billy continued to cry. What was wrong with this kid? He’d been fed and changed. Darcy jiggled Billy on his knee, hoping to distract him from whatever was bugging him. The baby only cried harder. Great, now what? Jiggling was his only strategy. He glanced at Sienna who was discreetly looking at her watch, probably thinking about getting to the clinic. In a minute she would go, leaving him all alone with a crying baby.

Darcy got to his feet and began to pace. “Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?”

“He probably needs to burp.”

“Ah, of course.” Darcy eyed her desperately. “And what do I do for that?”

“Put him against your shoulder and pat his back. Or lay him across your knee—” She broke off at his awkward movements. “You haven’t cared for him much, have you?”

Darcy fumbled the howling baby into place against his shoulder. “I—I’m busy with the pub.”

“If you’re that busy, then I strongly recommend Emma go into the hospital where she’ll get total rest and proper care.”

“What about Billy?”

“He would go in with her. The nurses would look after him.”

Here was his out if he wanted it, with no shame involved. Darcy walked the floor, patting Billy lightly on the back while he cried. He knew and trusted Emma’s nursing friends, but he didn’t like the idea of his son being in the hands of strangers with Emma not able to keep an eye on him. “Which nurses?”

Sienna shrugged. “Whoever’s on duty. All are more than capable. You don’t need to worry.”

Billy continued to fuss. No doubt any one of those nurses was more capable than he was. “Would Emma recover if she stays here or does she require hospitalization?”

“The hospital isn’t essential. I only suggested it to make it easier to care for Billy. Providing Emma’s comfortable and is allowed to rest, she’ll be fine.”

Darcy paced some more while the baby cried in his ear. No one would blame him if he followed the doctor’s recommendation and let Emma and the baby get professional care. Or, he could send Emma to the hospital and keep Billy. However, he knew she wanted to nurse the baby. She couldn’t do that as effectively if they were miles apart—even if Darcy was prepared to ferry pumped milk back and forth several times a day. And even if Emma couldn’t care for Billy, she would want to stay close to him.

“Emma and Billy will stay here with me.” He spoke loudly to be heard over the sound of Billy’s crying.

“Are you sure?” Sienna said. “The antibiotics appear to have kicked in, but Emma’s not going to be much help for a few days.”

No, he wasn’t sure. In fact, he was terrified at the thought of being in sole charge of Billy. And running a pub. And organizing renovations. What if he ended up like Emma, sick in bed?

She would nurse him back to health. He knew that as surely as he knew his own name. She would do it for him.

“I can manage. Piece of cake.” Just then Billy gave a loud burp and abruptly stopped crying. Darcy felt the tension drain from his shoulders. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, mate. I hope I’m worthy.”

CHAPTER TEN

“
A
LANA’S HERE
,” Darcy said from the bedroom doorway later that same afternoon. “Are you well enough for visitors?”

Emma blinked awake from a light doze. Then stared. It looked as if Darcy had Billy strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. First feeding him, now carrying him around. Was she hallucinating?

“I’m not a visitor. I’m family.” Alana, all five feet of her, ducked beneath Darcy’s arm.

Before Emma could decide if she was in her right mind, Darcy left the room.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you?” Alana waved a hand in front of her face. “Are you with me?”

Emma struggled to sit up. “Better. Still a bit weak. Was Darcy carrying Billy in a sling?”

“Yeah, wild, eh? Who would have thought he knew how.” Alana sat on the bed wearing her gym gear, a cropped sports top and Lycra three-quarter-length pants. Her feet, shod in new trainers, dangled off the side of the bed. “I would have been around before this, but your gatekeeper barred all visitors till now.”

“Darcy?”

“Who else? I can’t stay long. I’ve got to teach a pump class in twenty minutes.”

“How’s the job working out?”

“Fantastic. Janet’s back so I’m off managerial duty but I’ve graduated to teaching five classes a week. Brett’s talking about a possible sixth.”

A U2 ring tone sounded. “That’s mine.” Emma glanced around. “Where is it?”

Alana fished the phone out from behind a box of tissues on the side table, glancing at caller ID. “It’s Dave. He rang me a few minutes ago but I was driving and couldn’t take it. Why would he be calling you?”

Emma took the phone. “Hey, Dave.”

“Is Alana with you?” Dave’s normally mild-mannered voice held an edge. “I just called the gym. Tessa’s there but she’s not. And she’s not answering her phone.”

“She’s—” Emma began.

Alana frantically waved her hands in Emma’s face, mouthing, “No.”

“She’s up to something behind my back, isn’t she?” Dave said.

“I think you should talk to her—”

“I would but she’s never home. She said she wanted to go to the gym to get her figure back. I thought, great, she’ll feel better and be healthier for when she gets pregnant again. So I didn’t mind that she was spending all her time there. Now she looks amazing but she never wants to have sex.
Why is that?
”

“Uh, Dave, I’m not comfortable with this conversation.” Emma glared at Alana, who was pacing the floor and chewing on her thumbnail.

“She’s having an affair, isn’t she?” Dave was building up a head of steam. “She’s stashing Tessa at the gym’s child care center while she has her fling.”

“No, Dave, she’s not having an affair.”

Alana stopped pacing, eyes wide. She looked sick.

“Then where is she?” Dave roared.

“Right here.” Emma handed Alana the phone. “Talk to him.” She sank into the pillow.

“Hey, baby,” Alana said sweetly. “I just stopped in to see Emma before I went to the gym.” She paused to listen. When she spoke again, her voice hardened. “I’m not making excuses. I didn’t bring Tessa here because I didn’t want her to be exposed to Emma’s germs. No, I’m not having an affair—”

Dave’s angry tone, if not his precise words, came through the phone loud and clear. Emma shut her eyes, wishing she wasn’t privy to her sister’s marital spat.

“If you must know, I’m working at the gym,” Alana snapped. “That’s right. As a fitness instructor. I don’t care if that means I won’t get pregnant. I don’t want another baby. So there.” She hung up.

“That answers my question of whether you’d told him or not,” Emma said. “Why’d you leave it so long? You’ve made things worse.”

“I didn’t want to say anything until my probation period was up and I’m hired on permanently.”

“That’s what, three months? Oh, Alana.” She shook her head. “At least now it’s out in the open. You two can start talking about the issues.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Alana resumed her pacing, her ponytail swinging. “He’s adamant he wants more kids. I’m equally adamant I don’t.”

“Tell him you need more time. Find a compromise. You could work for six months and then try for a baby.”

“Time won’t make any difference. This has been going on for over a year. Maybe we should just call it quits.”

“You’re risking your marriage for a job? I can’t believe that. You can work for the rest of your life, but you’re getting close to an age when you won’t be able to have more children.”

Alana stopped pacing and sat on the end of the bed. “You don’t understand, either. I love Tessa with all my heart and soul, but frankly, I’ve had enough of being at home with a small child. The career thing has a clock on it, too. I’m a fitness instructor. I can’t stay out of the workforce too long or I’ll be so old that no one will hire me. And if I can’t get a toehold in a gym then there’s no hope of moving up the ladder to a management job like the one I was doing to cover for Janet.”

“You always wanted three children, just like me.” She’d been counting on Billy having a little cousin playmate. Not quite twin cousins, but close enough.

“I’ve changed my mind.” Alana fidgeted as though gathering her thoughts. “Tessa’s finally getting to an easier stage. She’s toilet trained and she’ll be going to kindergarten next year. I’m starting to have a life again. To start over with the whole infant thing—the diapers, being up all night and tired all day... Seeing what you’re going through with Billy confirmed everything I was thinking.”

“I’ve had a tough time with Billy, but the newborn stage passes. And Dave helps out a lot, way more than Darcy.” Although to give Darcy credit he was doing it all now.

“Dave helps when he’s around, but he works long hours. Most days he comes home and Tessa’s been fed, bathed and is ready for bed. His dinner is made, the house is clean and I’m starved for adult company but he’s ready to veg in front of the TV. Reading a child a story before bed isn’t the same as being with the kid 24/7.”

“You could work part-time.”

“Why do you think I lied to him about the job? He doesn’t even want me to do that. Child care eats up most of my salary so to his way of thinking, there’s no point. Plus when I’m exercising hard my body weight is so lean I have trouble conceiving.”

“Doesn’t he understand that you need another outlet besides children?” Darcy had always been proud of her nursing career.

“The truth is, he doesn’t see fitness instructor as a real job so he doesn’t get why I want to go back to it. I could retrain but why should I when I like what I’m doing?” Alana traced the pattern on the quilt cover. “I know it’s selfish, but I simply don’t want to have another child when I’m virtually the sole caregiver.”

“It’s not selfish. Selfish would be having a child and then neglecting it.” Selfish would be wanting Alana to have another baby only so Billy would have a playmate. “It sounds like your problems go deeper than work issues to how he sees you as a person.”

Alana’s eyes filled. “These past few years all I feel like is a mother to his children. We’ve lost the passion.”

Emma was silent. She and Darcy had the passion but not the family life. Was it wrong to want it all? Or merely unrealistic?

Alana glanced at her watch. “I have to go or I’ll be late for my class.” She squeezed Emma’s foot. “That’s instead of kissing you and getting your germs. I’ll let myself out. Call me later, okay?”

After she’d left, Darcy poked his head in the room. “Billy’s asleep. Do you want dinner? It’s soup.”

“What, no peacocks’ tongues and caviar?”

“That’s for tomorrow. I can bring it in here, but if you’re well enough to get up, it’s probably easier to eat at the table.”

“I’ll get up. Three days in bed is long enough.”

She was still weak, though, and grateful for Darcy’s arm as he helped her out to the round wooden table in the corner of the kitchen. A sliding glass door let onto the rooftop balcony. Outside, the setting sun had turned the sky pink through the trees.

Darcy started to ladle out a bowl of chicken noodle soup for her when Billy started crying. Automatically, Emma began to rise.