Maze (The Ballerina Series #2) (10 page)

I
pulled away, and looked at him, it was then I saw the yearning in his gaze.
Maze had been right. Dante had feelings for me. Maybe they had been there all
along. I’d just been blind. “Dante…I’m sorry…I…”

He
placed his finger over my lips. “It’s okay. I know you’ve made your choice. And
I will always be your best friend. Now let’s finish getting you packed up.”

I
was floored. I had no idea that our connection for him went beyond deep
friendship. On my part I only loved him as a friend. When we’d first met I
thought his flirting had been mere teasing. He practically flirted with
everyone, and then after we became roommates, he stopped and we’d become best
friends. I told him all about Maze. So Dante always understood, my heart and
soul belonged to Maze. They had from the first time I’d ever laid eyes on him.
So I smiled at my friend. “I do love you, you know.”

“Yeah.
I know.”

“Just
not…”

“Shhh.
I know that, too.”

I
didn’t want to lose Dante. I smiled sadly at him and grabbed another handful of
clothes and handed them to him.

****

I
couldn’t talk Maze into coming with me, and it was so hard to leave him.

“It’s
just two days, babe,” he’d said. “And then I’ll be there. I’ll come straight
from the airport to the hospital.”

“I
wish neither one of us had to make this trip. I wish it was just a regular
visit home.”

“Me
too, babe.” He’d wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead just before
he walked me to the security area. He could go with me no farther.

It
was good to be home, though. I spoke and texted with my folks all the time but
I hadn’t seen my dad in months. Mom picked me up from the airport, but Dad came
home early so he was there when I got home. I was so pampered. Came from being
an only child I supposed. My dad was a couple inches taller than Maze and
swallowed me in his embrace.

“How’s
my girl?” he bellowed. He had a deep voice, which I loved.

“Find,
Daddy.” Both my parents had a little gray threaded through their hair but were
still in good shape for forty-something year olds. I looked like a younger
version of my mom. She was maybe a size larger than I was. Dad liked to brag he
could still fit into the suit he got married in, but he had a little tummy now.
Which he blamed on my mom’s great cooking.

“I
hear you have a boyfriend now.” He looked behind me like he was looking for
someone. “I’m surprised he’s not with you,” he laughed.

I
knew he was kidding around, although I was sure Mom told him Maze was more than
just a friend. He wouldn’t expect him to come home with me. I never brought
boys home, aside from Dante a couple of times, but he was just a friend.

“Ah,
he’s coming the morning of Bev’s surgery. I already let Mom know.” I spoke the
last hurriedly.

My
dad frowned. “Why? He doesn’t have a reason to be there.”

“Phil,”
my mom said lightly swatting his arm. “Obviously he’s coming to support Ivy.”

I’d
told my mom about Maze visiting. I guess she forgot to tell my dad. “Yeah, Dad.
Remember he also knew Shel. He knows how much the Stevensons mean to me.”

Dad
frowned. “Fine. I guess it’s only for one night. He can sleep in the basement.”

“Thank
you.” It’s not like I ever dated much. Dancing was a jealous master. I had only
a handful of boyfriends. None lasted more than a couple of months. Even when I
was a teenager and lived at home.

I
kissed my parents then went up to my room. My dad got a phone call and Mom
carried my bag up the stairs for me. As soon as we got to my room, she closed
the door. I sat on the bed. Not sure what was going on but clearly she wanted
to talk.

She
put the case down and sat on the bed next to me. “How’s Maze holding up?”

Mom
and Dad had sent Maze a card and flowers to the cemetery.

“He’s
doing okay. It’s hard sometimes though.”

“That’s
understandable,” she said. “And the fact he’s coming to be here with you now
says a lot about him. So are you two serious?”

This
was it. I hadn’t told my folks Maze and I had moved in together. My dad almost
had a cow when he first found out I’d be living with Dante, but when he heard
he was a dancer he relaxed. That and the fact I insisted we were just friends.
Separate rooms he could deal with. Maze and I did not have separate anything.

“Yes.
I think so. Mom, I have something to tell you but you can’t tell Dad yet. I
don’t want him to freak.”

She
laid her hand over mine. “What is it, honey?”

I
took a deep breath, and then exhaled. “Maze and I moved in together a few days
ago.”

She
squeezed my hand and took a deep breath. “I see. And are you sure about this?”

“Yes.
I’m sure, Mom.”

She
glanced away then back at me, this time putting both hands over mine. “I’m not
going to say I approve. I’m assuming when you say ‘moved in’ you’re not talking
about the way you lived with Dante.”

I
shook my head.

She
sighed. “You are an adult now, honey, even though you’re both so young. But in
truth, you’ve been on your own living in New York for a long time. I’ve stopped
telling you what to do ages ago, so I can’t really start now. I let you live
your dream.” She smiled. “But given your determination to become a professional
dancer I’m not sure I could have stopped you either. And as a result you’re an
accomplished beautiful ballerina but…tell me this: do you love him?”

I
nodded, my eyes tearing up at the thought of my love for Maze.

“Does
he feel the same way?”

Again,
I nodded unable to speak.

She
tilted her head. “I trust your judgment and I’m happy for both of you. But I
expect this to be a temporary situation and something more permanent to develop
sooner rather than later.”

“Mom!”

She
put up her hands in the air. “Don’t ‘Mom’ me, hon. If you’re going to commit,
then commit all the way that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ll
take that under advisement.”

“See
that you do. Now what about your ankle and dance?”

“I’ve
still got several weeks before the cast comes off but in the meantime I’m going
to do some chorography with Dante. We’ve been asked to do a piece to present
for Regional.”

“Honey,
that’s fantastic!” She hugged me then pulled back. “I’m so proud of you. I know
you guys are going to win.”

My
mom knew the importance of Regional; she’d taken me to quite a few of them when
I was younger.

“When
and where is it? Dad and I would love to come and so would Bev and Ben.”

“I’ll
send you the details if our piece gets chosen.”

“Of
course, your piece will be chosen. They’d be crazy not to include anything you
and Dante come up with. Your work together is brilliant. So is this what you’re
going to do from now on? I thought you were also going to work on strengthening
your ankle so you could dance again.”

I
nodded, feeling more optimistic about everything. “Yep. I’ll be doing that,
too. As soon as the cast comes off I’ll begin exercising it. Maze already says
he’s got plans for me, specific exercises he’s going to have me do.

“That’s
what he’d mentioned at dinner. I knew I liked that boy. You’ll be up on pointe
again in no time.”

“From
your ears to the ankle god’s mouth.”

She
leaned forward and hugged me. “Okay, brat. Let me go fix dinner. Pasta cabonara
sound good?”

“Perfect.”
Yeah, it was good to be home.

My
phone chimed just as my mom closed my door. I had a text. I got my phone out of
my bag.

Maze:
‘You get there okay?’

Ivy:
‘Yep. It’s all good.’

Maze:
‘Miss you.’

Ivy:
‘Miss you, too’

Maze:
‘Have a good night. I Love you.’

Ivy:
‘
Love you too. Mwah!’

Maze:
‘xoxoxo’

I
put my phone down and went downstairs for dinner. I missed my parents but it
was always good to be home. I was glad when my mom kept the conversation away
from Maze and me and focused it on Bev and things going on with mutual friends.
The last thing I wanted to do was discuss my living arrangements with Maze. I
got out of doing dishes and went upstairs to get ready for bed. After I hung up
my clothes so they wouldn’t wrinkle, I picked up my cell again and called Maze.
I just wanted to hear his voice before falling asleep.

I
got under the covers and opened my list of favorite numbers. The phone rang
once and went straight to voice mail. I frowned a little disappointed that I
couldn’t reach him, but left him a message. “I just wanted to hear your voice
before I fell asleep. I love you. Good night.”

Chapter Ten

Maze

Lightning
flashed over the wing. The way the area lit up, I could have sworn the bolt
struck the plane but it didn’t do any damage. At least none I could see. The
flight during a thunderstorm was not a smooth one but finally I landed at
Ronald Reagan Airport in Washington D.C. After last night, I wondered if storms
were now going to rule my life.

I
shivered. Cold. So fucking cold, and it had nothing to do with the weather.
Everything changed two nights ago. I took no pleasure in what I’d done, I
almost didn’t get on the plane earlier this morning. Feeling unworthy of Ivy.
But I’ve always felt unworthy of her. Like she was this diamond and I was well,
anything but, and now…

I
looked down at my hands. There was no blood visible, but I could still see the
crimson there. And feared there would be more.

Ivy
needed me by her side today, and I would be there. I just didn’t know for how
much longer. As I walked out of the terminal and caught a cab to the hospital
my only thought was I would do all I could to make damn sure Ivy remained safe.

I
glanced out the window and saw lightning light up the gray sky across the
water. The rain had been heavy even before I left JFK. When the bolt flashed,
it brought to mind the memory of the flash of Jai’s blade striking against my
own. He let me gaze upon his hatred for me stamped on his face, his
determination to see me dead. In the end, I also witnessed his acceptance of
his own death when my knife sliced across his throat. I don’t think I’d ever
experience a storm again and not think of how my life had changed.

I
pulled out my phone and texted Ivy I was there. I just needed to get to her. At
least I came alone. Uncle Tsang didn’t want me to travel without Will but after
what went down, Joe’s death and then Jai’s, the Triad wasn’t doing anything for
a while. Tsang wasn’t too happy with what I’d done either. I’d gotten the
information I wanted without involving him. The day I left Ivy with Dante I’d
gone to a popular fight hang out and found out where Jai was going to be the
next night. The message I sent to the Triad was loud and clear. I understood
Tsang’s fear that I would be unprotected, but our enemies didn’t know who Ivy
was. It would take time to find out her information and then to figure out
where I’d gone. By then we’d be back in New York surrounded by Tong where the
Triad couldn’t touch us.

Yesterday
I’d signed all the paperwork with the lawyers, and then met with some of the
business owners. I now owned the primary shares in the Tong. A conglomerate of
business interests spanning the gambit from restaurants, retail stores, dry
cleaners, even a few small IT and software companies. All of which I didn’t
know fuck about. Almost twenty-four years old and I had businessmen who’d run
successful companies for years looking up to me.
Crap!
I had a shitload to learn and no time to learn it. First and
foremost the Triad had to go. Really just Liu. Cut off the head of a snake and
the rest will die. This shit began with the deaths of his father and my mother.
It was time for it to end. I hoped it ended with Jai’s death but that could be
just wishful thinking on my part.

I
got out of the cab in front of the hospital entrance. The last song playing in
the cab ride over resonated in my soul. Yeah, I was knee deep in Coolio’s
Gangsta’s Paradise
. Right down to the
fucking snakes. I took a deep breath to shake out the depressing thoughts. I
had a woman to face who needed me strong and focused on her. I only carried a
backpack with a change of clothes. I didn’t need much. I was there for Ivy. As
soon as I stepped through the sliding doors I walked toward the reception desk.
It didn’t escape my notice I’d been spending an awful lot of time in hospitals
lately. Creeped me the hell out. The sound of my name had me swinging in
another direction, and there was my girl hurrying to me. I smiled for the first
time in days and opened my arms. She hobbled right into them, I picked her up,
and covered her lips to mine.

God,
I missed her. I wrapped my arms around her tighter. She was my anchor. My
light. Her warmth rushed through my veins breaking the ice. I prayed to God she
never found out what I was capable of doing. What I had done. When I thought I
could breathe on my own I put her down.

“Well,
I guess that means you’re happy to see me,” I joked.

She
smiled. “Yeah.” She grabbed my elbow. “How was the flight? I’m sorry the
weather is so crappy.”

“It
was fine. No worries.”

“Come
on. Bev’s being prepped now.”

I
followed her to the elevator. I would have kissed her again but a woman and a
toddler got on with us. When the elevator opened, we got off and walked down a
hallway past a nurse’s station. Ivy led me into another section but it was
kinda crowded. It looked more like a prepping area cause only curtains
separated one room from another. I recognized Bev’s husband and Ivy’s mom. A
tall handsome medium brown skinned man had his hands on Allison’s shoulders.
Ivy’s dad. A doctor and nurse stood near the bed. We stayed in the general
area.

“Hey,
everyone. Look who I found,” Ivy said.

“Hi.”
I sent out the greeting to everyone. I felt uncomfortable as hell when all
those parental gazes swung my way. Not something I was used to. But I gotta
give Ivy’s mom props. She stepped away from her husband and came over to me to
give me a hug. Shocked the shit outta me.

“How
you holding up?” she asked, looking up into my eyes.

“I’m
good.”

When
she stepped back Ben came over and shook my hand. “It’s good to see you again,
Maze.”

“You
too,” I replied.

“Dad,”
Ivy said looking at her father, “Do you remember Maze?”

“Sure.
How are you, son? I’m sorry for your loss.” Her dad stepped forward and shook
my hand, too.

“Thank
you, sir.” Oh fuck, fuck. I had to use everything I’d ever learned to keep my
breathing even and not hyperventilate like I wanted to. I could weld a steel
blade and draw blood with ice in my veins but meeting these people freaked my
shit out. These were the adults in Ivy’s life. They meant something to her. I
could do this.

I
glanced over at Ivy.
For her. All for
her.

Bev
waved at me when the doctor stepped aside. “Thanks for coming, Maze.”

“No
problem, Bev.”

“It’s
time,” the nurse said.

Ivy
released my hand and went over to the bed. She kissed Bev on her cheek. “Love
you, Aunt Bev,” she said. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

She
came back over to me and took my hand. “Come on.” She turned to her parents.
“We’re going down to the cafeteria. We’ll meet you back at the waiting area. Do
you need anything?”

They
shook their heads.

I
took a deep breath when we walked away. We located the cafeteria, which also
had an open atrium area. I wasn’t really hungry and neither was Ivy. We got a
couple of hot teas and found a secluded area. A bistro table for two tucked
into a corner. I scooted the chair even closer so we were seated side by side
and faced the rest of the room. I looked up. The roof had a skylight in the
center, but it was an awful day so all I could see was water making a losing
bid to get inside.

Ivy
looked up, too. “I know. Like I said, crappy day.”

I
held her hand. “Any day someone’s having surgery is a crappy day.”

“Thank
you so much for being here with me.”

I
raised her hand to my mouth and my lips met her knuckles. “Where else would I
be but by your side when you need me?”

“How
are you holding up?” she asked.

Somehow
I managed to dredge up a smile for her. “Better now that I’m with you.” I
reached over and wrapped one arm around her shoulder and she leaned her head on
me.

“I
missed you,” she said.

“I
doubt anywhere as much as I missed you. You know for the last few weeks the
last couple of nights were the first time I haven’t woken up with you in my
arms. I’m not sure I got any sleep.” And it was true. For so many reasons.

She
leaned back to look at me. “And we won’t be sleeping together tonight either.
Dad’s relegated you to the basement.”

I
winched. But wasn’t all that surprised. “Why?”

“Because
they’re parents.”

“Okay,
okay but I miss you.” And I did. I’d missed her so much already and wouldn’t
have her with me tonight. I needed to hold her in my arms. Skin to skin. I
badly wanted to bury myself in her essence and feel a measure of sanity again.

She
chuckled. “It’s just one more night and we’ll be home tomorrow.”

“I
like the way you think. Yeah, home. Have you told your folks we moved in
together?” She was not quick to answer. “Ivy…”

“Ah,
I told my mom. She’s not excited about it but she’s cool with it. She
understands how much we love each other.”

“Okay,
and your dad?”

She
shook her head. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why?”

She
sat up trying to put a little distance between us but I wasn’t having any of
that.

I
pulled her back into my embrace. “Why haven’t you?” I asked again.

“He’s
my dad, Maze. He had a fit when he first found out I’d be living with Dante.
Then once he realized he was gay, well bi, but Dad thinks he’s gay. Anyway he
relented. Especially when he came to visit and saw we had separate bedrooms and
bathrooms.”

“Okay.
So tell him about us. Are you ashamed of me?”

God
say no. But maybe she should be. I still didn’t understand what the hell she
saw in someone like me. There was nothing refined about me. The only time I
listened to classical music was if it was in a commercial or a movie score. I
wouldn’t know the difference between a salad fork, dessert fork, and entree
fork. I’ve used chopsticks most of my life. I’m not even sure I can have a
normal conversation with someone for half an hour and not slip a shit, damn, or
fuck in there. Lunch with Ivy’s mom and friends was hellish in that respect. I
barely spoke.

She
cocked her head to the side. “No, no that’s not it. I just want my dad to get
to know you a little first. To understand how much we care for each other
before I tell him. And I will. Just not this visit, okay? Do you get why?”

“Yeah,
I do.” No way in fuck was her father ever going to approve of some tattooed
fighter shacking up with his baby girl. I know if we ever had a daughter I’d
kill the sonofabitch who tried that shit.
Whoa.
Where did that thought come from? On the one hand the possibility scared the
crap outta me, on the other, it excited me. But then reality had me crashing
back down to earth. The clock was ticking for us. Ivy deserved to be with
someone who could truly keep her safe and away from the violence dogging my
life. My mood headed for the deep end of the tank again.

“Oh
I spoke to my doctor and he wants me to come in, in a few weeks. I might get my
cast off then and wrap it up or get a walking cast.”

“That’s
great news.”

“Yeah.
So after I get back from Philly I might be able to get this damn thing off and
we can begin exercising my ankle.”

“That’s
good, babe. But only if the doctor says it’s okay. So when do you leave?” I’d
forgotten about the project she was doing with Dante. Even though Dante and I had
made peace we’d never be best friends. I knew the minute I left he’d be right
there to pick up the pieces. I couldn’t blame him and I knew he’d be good to
her. Was better for her. Didn’t matter, though. She was mine. And I was not
giving her up until the very last second I had to. Because I loved her enough
to want her safe from any fallout shit. The fact she’d be gone for a couple of
weeks would be a good thing. Regardless of the emptiness I already felt at the
thought of being apart from her for so long.

We
returned to the waiting area and sat with her parents for a while and then they
left us to grab something to eat, forcing Ben to go with them. Eventually they
came back and shortly thereafter the doctor returned to talk to us. Ivy and I
remained seated and her parents stood on either side of Ben. Her mom held his
hand while her dad had his on Ben’s shoulder, silently offering him their
presence and their support before the doctor gave them the results. Their
unwavering unity punched a hole in my gut. These were good people. They cared
about each other.
This
was Ivy’s
world and it was normal. There were no bodyguards. No one tried to screw you
over or kill you because of a business deal or because they wanted to protect
their illegal trade. Just normal. I looked down at Ivy’s hand enclosed in mine.
She squeezed me and I looked up at her.