Meant to Be (16 page)

We stopped talking when our food arrived.
Mark was right, the food was excellent. I was famished, lunch had
been hours ago. As we ate, our conversation became more light
hearted as Shawn kept us laughing with stories about things that go
on at the Boardwalk. He was a great story teller and we soon had a
good grasp on the kind of people he worked with.

“They are definitely different than us,” he
said with a smile.

After dinner, we headed back to Mark’s house
to resume our conversation. I settled myself on one the comfy
couches, tucking my legs up under me. Mark sat down next to me
which of course sent my heart off its normal rhythm. Sam and Shawn
took the other couch and Shawn tucked Sam up against his side.

“Well, I’m not sure what the picture means,”
I said, opening up the conversation. “But, I don’t know if I buy
all of your theories. They all just seem too kooky for me, this is
real life not some fantasy book,” I said, looking at Shawn.

“How do you know? Maybe this connection is
from some kind of radioactivity coming from another planet,” Shawn
said as we all burst out laughing. “Hey, I’ve read lots of sci-fi
and that’s always what it boils down to. Some alien life form or
something like that,” he tried to explain as we continued to
laugh.

“I’m not sure that’s the reason for the
connection, but Shawn is right, even the ridiculous things need to
be examined. People just don’t walk around feeling some odd
connection with others, and they don’t have dreams every night
about the same person. We need to explore everything, look into
things that could have created this link between all of us. We also
need to consider the fact that there are four others out there that
could potentially be just like us,” Mark said, sobering up the
lighthearted atmosphere.

He was right, as much as we would like to be
normal teenagers, the plain and simple fact was, there was nothing
normal about us. We had never been normal though we may have tried
to pretend to be, but there was no denying our abnormalities.

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Sam
finally said.

“What?”

“Well, if there are only four couples in this
picture, but eight children all together in the picture, it stands
to reason that some of us must be related.”

Mark and Shawn looked up from the computer at
Sam’s words. Neither seemed shocked at the suggestion, but I was
reeling from the idea.

“You mean you think Mark and I are related?”
I said, horror ringing through my words.

Mark took my hand trying to calm me. “Not
us,” he said with a slight smile in his voice. “Shawn and I think
that maybe you and he are brother and sister.”

“That would explain why you look so much like
Shawn,” Mark told me.

Brother and sister? Shawn and I were
siblings? All my life, I had often wondered if I had any other
family members, and here I was possibly sitting with my brother. I
glanced at Mark, he didn’t look surprised, and neither did
Shawn.

“We suspected it as soon as I saw you
standing next to Shawn when Sam introduced him to you. It’s hard to
deny your resemblance to each other,” Mark said.

He paused.

“Is there more?” I asked.

“Well, we speculated that maybe Sam and I are
related also, but we discarded it right off the bat. First, our
builds are completely off, with her being a ‘shrimp’ and all. Plus,
our skin tones don’t match. Which means that possibly, one of the
other kids in the picture might be my sister,” he added. “Sam’s
brother could be one of the other boys in the picture,” he
continued.

I looked over at Sam’s face and could tell
from her intrigued expression that she was as curious as me. “A
brother,” she said in a weepy voice. The idea gave me a lump in my
throat that matched the look on Sam’s face. It was obvious she was
as shocked as me.

Shawn instantly got up and put his arms
around her to comfort her.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. “I’m trying not to
cry.”

Shawn picked her up and placed her on his
lap, rocking back and forth rubbing her back as he showered light
kisses on her face.

The emotional connection between Sam and
Shawn was obvious. He was immediately able to calm her down and
neutralize her emotions.

Watching Sam’s reaction to the news hit me in
a profound way. I never felt the wave of confusion come. It came
out of nowhere and knocked the air right out of me. I had been
struggling all night to keep my emotions in check, but this newest
development in our conversation had finally triggered it and the
emotions finally won.

Instead of turning to Mark for his strength
and healing touch, I did what I always have done. I closed myself
off from everyone else and bolted toward the bathroom. The sickness
hit me wave after wave and I threw up wretchedly in the toilet.
Finally, the waves subsided and I rested my head weakly on my
hand.

I felt a cool rag being placed on the back of
my neck.

“Has it passed?” Mark asked, in a concerned
voice.

“You have to touch her Mark. It will speed up
her recovery.” I could hear Sam tell him, but her voice sounded far
off as the pounding in my ears drowned everything else out.

“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a moment,” I said,
hoping he would just leave. If my body hadn’t just been overrun by
emotions, I would have been embarrassed.

Mark ignored the hint and reached out to rub
my back. I instinctively shied away from his touch, embarrassed to
have him so close when I had just puked up an entire days worth of
food. He insistently leaned in even closer, and I could feel the
heat radiating out of him. An electric current seemed to flow
through us, and I could feel the sickness beginning to ebb away. I
kept my eyes closed as his touch soothed the rest of the sickness
away. I finally let all my inhibitions fade and I leaned back
against him, using his body heat to try to contain the chills that
began to creep over my body.

Mark felt my sudden quaking and scooped me in
his strong arms. I kept my eyes closed as he walked down the hall.
He laid me on a bed and pulled a blanket up around me. After he had
the blanket tucked firmly around me, he crawled on the bed beside
me and pulled me snuggly in his arms.

We lay there quietly for a while as his
soothing presence slowly began to help my weak body recover from
the sickness. It seemed to take longer than normal because I had
dealt with so many emotions in one short week, but finally, the
chills receded and my mind began to drift as my body begged for
rest.

“Before you go to sleep, you need to call
your mom.”

He was right. I got so comfortable lying
there in his arms, I’d forgotten all about my mom. I started to sit
up, but Mark pushed me lightly back down.

“I’ll go get your cell phone.”

He was back within a few moments and handed
me my phone. I dialed my mom’s cell number and waited for her to
pick it up.

“Hey honey,” she said as soon as she
answered.

“Hey Mom, Sam and I had such a good time
tonight, and Sam asked if I wanted to stay over,” I said, trying to
inject enthusiasm into my voice.

“That’s fine,” she said, sounding thrilled. I
knew she was ecstatic that I had finally made a friend.

“I’ll call you in the morning.”

“That’s fine, have fun.”

I hung up the phone. I should have felt
guilty for lying to my mom twice in one day, but the bout of
sickness prevented any other emotions.

I closed my eyes as Mark continued to hold me
in his arms. My mind drifted and I sunk into a deep sleep.

My sobbing woke us both up. I felt him wrap
his arms around me.

“I’m here,” he said. “I’m never going to
leave you,” he murmured in my ear.

The sobs subsided at his soothing words. He
was here with me. I loved him so much, and it was so hard to be
ripped away from him every night. He continued to whisper in my
ear, telling me how much I meant to him and soon the dream faded
away.

“Do you feel better?” he asked.

I thought about it for a moment, and
surprisingly, I did feel better. I felt grimy from the sickness
that gripped me last night, but besides that I felt much
better.

“I think I would like to take a shower, but
besides that, I feel much better. I’m so sorry you had to see that
again. Would you believe, I’ve never had this many episodes in one
week? Well, except when my dad died.”

“That’s what worries me,” he told me. “Sam
says it’s not good for you to be having so many episodes.”

He brought up something I had been wondering
about.

“Why isn’t Sam having these attacks?” I asked
him.

“We talked about it while you were sleeping.
Sam thinks it’s because of the rough childhood she had; that she is
able to control it better. Plus, she thinks that a lot of this is
fear, and she dealt with fear enough when she was growing up, so it
doesn’t affect her as badly; not to mention the most important
thing, which is letting Shawn sooth her.” He said chidingly.

“I know. It’s just a little tough for me to
let someone in. I’ve spent my life handling all of this on my
own.”

“Come on, I’ll get you some clean towels so
you can take a shower,” he said, changing the subject as he helped
me to my feet.

He left me at the bathroom with clean towels
and a new toothbrush. I turned on the water. While I waited for it
to heat up, I looked in the mirror, cringing when I saw my
reflection.

“Oh my gosh, I look terrible,” I moaned.

My eyes were swollen from the tears and my
skin was pasty from throwing up so much. Every hair on my head
seemed to be sticking up in every direction from sleeping on it. I
resembled a scarecrow in a corn field. I could not believe I let
him see me looking this bad.

I stepped into the spacious shower and let
the water wash over me, wiping away the last traces of the
sickness. I stayed in the shower for a long time, gathering my
thoughts and finally, filing some of the information away.

I finally turned off the water and dried off.
Mark had given me a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt; I pulled them
on, dropping the towel at my feet. They were baggy, but I didn’t
care, they smelt just like him. I inhaled deeply enjoying his
scent.

After I brushed my teeth, I left the bathroom
and went off to search for Mark. I found him in the kitchen; he was
finishing up fixing two cups of hot chocolate.

“I thought you might want a pick me up,” he
said as he handed me one of the steaming mugs. “I thought we could
take these out to the patio while the others sleep.”

Now that he mentioned it. Where were Sam and
Shawn and where were they sleeping?

As if he could read my mind, Mark smiled.
“Sam’s crashed in my dad’s room and Shawn took my room,” he
said.

I felt relived. I knew that Sam was her own
person, but for some reason I felt responsible for her. I knew I
was being a hypocrite. Hadn’t I slept in the arms of the love of my
life? Sure, I had been sick, but still.

We headed out to the patio. It was only 4:00
a.m., but the temperature outside was nice and mild. Mark helped me
settle onto one of the patio chairs.

I took a sip of my hot chocolate. “That’s
good,” I said as the hot chocolate ran down my throat.

“I added extra chocolate,” he said with a
smile.

I returned his smile as I took another drink
of the rich concoction. I could definitely get used to this. This
is how it will be if we ever married, I thought wistfully to myself
as a whole new warmth spread throughout my body.

“It’s so nice out here,” I said, sighing.

“I know what you mean, there’s nothing like
the sounds of the ocean. Especially at night, the ocean seems to
have a mysterious feel about it.”

Mark reached over and grabbed my hand. I
studied his warm masculine hand in mine. I cringed when I saw his
nice even fingernails next to my own ragged ones. My nails looked
pitiful in contrast. I really need to stop chewing on mine, I
couldn’t help thinking.

Shawn and Sam joined us on the patio shortly
after dawn.

Mark and I had spent the last two hours
talking about anything and everything. Mark asked me about college
and I told him my plans to go to school locally.

I told him about my aspirations to help
others, how I hoped to major in human relations in college.

“I want to be there for those in need. I
would like nothing better than to set up foundations that would
help others. It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as raising money
for books that volunteers could read to children in the hospital,
or as big as finding funding to open a soup kitchen for the
homeless. I just want to help,” I said empathetically.

“That’s what I love about you. You put the
needs of others ahead of yours. I’ve watched as you struggled with
guilt from lying to your mom and putting her peace of mind ahead of
yours. I feel so lucky that the woman of my dreams turned out to be
so fantastic.”

After two hours of talking, all remains of
the dream had vanished. By the time Sam and Shawn found us, I felt
at peace.

“Are you feeling better?” were the first
words out of Sam’s mouth as she perched at the bottom of my lounge
chair.

“Yes much better,” I said, drawing my knees
up so she would have more room to sit.

“You have to try to control it better. It’s
not good for your body to keep going through this. I’m going to try
to show you some tricks that I picked up while I was growing up
that seemed to help me cope. I want you to practice them and learn
to use them. I’m worried that you’re endangering yourself and I
don’t want you to wind up in the hospital. We love you and need
you,” she said giving me a quick hug. “You need to trust Mark more,
let him know when the emotions are going to attack.” She whispered
in my ear.