Meant to Be (7 page)

I had to agree with her. I had been trying to
ignore it all day, but it had become glaringly obvious that Sam and
I shared some kind of link. I grabbed a notebook and started taking
notes on our commonalities. Sam filled in the ones I had forgotten,
making a point to mention our common defective “emotions,” as she
liked to put it, of course I still didn’t believe that her
emotional “madness” was the same as mine. Finally, I set the pencil
down. “I think that’s it.”

“You forgot the biggest one,” Sam said
quietly.

“What’s that?” I asked, looking up in
surprise, I thought we had them all.

“You forgot to write down the dreams,” Sam
said in the same quiet voice.

“What dreams?” I asked, suddenly starting to
feel panicked.

“The dreams we have about the guys?”

“How do you know about that?” I asked,
standing up abruptly, suddenly very angry. The notebook slid off my
lap and landed on the floor at my feet. I gave it no notice, as I
felt the emotional wave approaching.

“I think you should leave,” I told Sam,
trying to fight down the nausea. I didn’t know what kind of game
Sam was playing, but I wanted no part of it. The anger began to
engulf me; I knew I was on the verge of getting sick.

I rushed into my bathroom and threw-up
immediately. It had been a long time since my emotions had made me
sick enough to throw up. The retching finally ended as the waves
receded. I rested my forehead weakly against the cool porcelain on
the side of the tub.

I felt a cool cloth being placed on the nap
of my sweaty neck. I wasn’t surprised that Sam had stuck around.
Though I tried to convince myself that she was playing some kind of
game, I knew we had far too much in common to be just a
coincidence. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know, it
wasn’t Sam’s fault.

Sam handed me a glass of water. I looked up
to see her studying me.

“I’ll teach you how to fight the sickness
back,” she promised.

I just nodded my head weakly, not surprised
that Sam somehow knew how to fight it off; she seemed so much
stronger than me. She helped pull me into a standing position. My
legs felt like cooked spaghetti, but I thought I could make it to
one of the chairs. Sam took my arm and helped me settle into the
chair.

“I know about your dreams because I have the
same ones,” Sam said, with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to
make you sick.”

“How did you know that I had the dreams?”

“I didn’t know when I first met you. I
suspected it after I saw your reaction in class today, but I knew
for sure after I read the note.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, more confused
than ever. “What happened in class for you to suspect it, and why
did the note convince you?”

“Because, I’ve been in your shoes before, I
have the same dreams as you, and I felt the same way when I met the
boy that had shared my dreams my entire life. Through all my crummy
foster homes, he was always there for me, and when I met him it was
like I had been hit by lighting.”

“You’ve met your dream guy?” I asked
surprised, not because she had dreams like mine (which was crazy),
but because she made it seem like our dream guys were flesh and
blood.

“You’ve met yours too. Surely you knew as
soon as you saw him today, that he was the one?”

I shook my head in denial. “I’ve never seen
his face though, how can you be so sure it’s Mark?”

“Have you ever reacted like that with anyone
else?” she asked, incredulous.

“Well no, but how do I know it’s not just a
normal reaction? He is attractive. You saw how all the other girls
were ogling him,” I said, trying to take just an ounce of crazy out
of this situation.

Sam sighed, “Krista, come on, do you really
believe that? If I’m right, that’s what Mark meant in his note. He
can explain. He already knows who you are. That’s what I think, and
he knows it. Think about what he wrote in the note. He’s your dream
guy.”

Dream guy
. I rolled the words around
in my head. I had always hoped the dreams meant something, that I
would someday meet the guy of my dreams. Could all of this be real?
I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe it. We weren’t some
characters in some B-rated Sci-Fi movie.

“Are you feeling better?” Sam asked,
interrupting my thoughts.

“Yes.”

“I’m going to call my foster dad to come get
me so you can rest,” Sam said. “I really am sorry, I know how badly
you’re feeling. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I know it’s
freaky, but I am glad that I’m not alone.”

“It all just seems so strange, that all of us
would meet on the same day,” I mused, almost to myself.

“It is strange, but to add more craziness to
this whole mixture, when I woke this morning, I had the strangest
feeling that something was going to happen today.”

“What do you mean you felt something?”

“I don’t know, I just felt an odd sense of
anticipation I guess, like a premonition or something,” Sam said as
she dialed her foster dad’s number. She rattled off the directions
to my house for him and then hung up. “He’ll be here in fifteen
minutes,” she said, perching on the on the edge of the other chair
to wait.

While we waited, we discussed our common bond
a little bit more, but didn’t mention “dream guys” again. My
emotions were a wreck and I needed time to allow them to
recover.

Our conversation was interrupted by a knock
on the door.

I was feeling a little better, so I walked
Sam downstairs.

I opened the door to a distinguished looking
gentleman. He was of medium height, but seemed taller by the well
cut suit he was wearing. With just a few gray streaks through his
hair, I would guess him to be about my mom’s age.

“Hi. I’m Tom Harrison. You must be Krista. My
wife Karen and I were thrilled when Sam asked if she could come
over to your house today. We’ve been concerned that Sam hasn’t made
any friends since she moved in with us.”

I heard Sam groan, obviously wishing he
wouldn’t have added that last part, the pained look on her face
made that clear. I smiled; I could relate.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay,” Sam said,
giving me a quick hug.

I locked the front doors behind them and
headed up to take a quick shower before bed. I paused by a table at
the foot of the stairs to scrawl a quick note to my mom.

Mom had a great day at school. I’ll tell you
about it tomorrow morning. Love Ya.

I knew I was taking the chicken’s way out,
but I wasn’t ready to face my mom. I had already decided that I was
going to keep her in the dark as much as I could. I was sick of
being the constant source of worry for her. It was time for her to
have the freedom to focus her energy on things that mattered to
her, instead of always having to worry about my problems.

It dawned on me as I headed upstairs that I
didn’t even ask Sam about the guy that was supposedly her
dream
guy
. I hope he wasn’t some freak that had preyed on some young
girl who might have confided in her dreams, too. I felt a sick
feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Sam’s theory was wrong? I
felt a wave of grief approach at the thought that Mark was just a
regular person. I didn’t want to admit it to Sam, but a small
kernel of hope had awakened in my heart that Mark might somehow be
the person I had been dreaming about for years.

With a million thoughts swirling through my
head, I twisted the shower nozzle all the way to hot. The hot water
helped to ease away the chills that always followed an attack. Once
my shower was over, I blow dried my hair and put on warm comfy
pajamas before I headed to my room.

I took a few moments to give Feline the
attention he craved. After petting him for a few minutes, he
settled down on the bed beside me. I reached over and flipped off
the lights. The emotional upheaval of the day had left me exhausted
and I fell into a quick slumber.

I knew I was dreaming. It was the same as
always. I walked to the edge of the tide line where we always met.
He was already there waiting in the shadows, but as I approached;
he stepped out of the shadows for the first time. My breath escaped
me. How had I missed it? Of course I knew him. Hadn’t he visited me
every night? Wasn’t it his hand that I had held thousands of times
in my dreams? Even though I had been expecting it, I was unprepared
for the emotions that assaulted me when our eyes met. All I could
think was,
IT’S HIM
.

Chapter 4

I woke to my own sobbing. I stuffed a hand
over my mouth so my mom wouldn’t hear. I didn’t know how much
longer I could take this heartbreak. The dreams, that for so long
were my only source of comfort had now become nightmares.

I sat up pulling my knees tightly against my
chest, rocking back and forth. My swollen eyes were sensitive to
the touch as I wiped away the warm tears.

Feline jumped up beside me on the bed. He
could always tell when I needed comfort. His soft fur and the mild
vibrations of his purring were soothing.

I glanced at the clock, 4:00 a.m. He had left
me earlier than normal. I sat on my bed contemplating how well
things had gone, especially since his face was no longer hidden by
shadows. We still were unable to talk in the dream but it didn’t
matter, somehow we could sense what the other was feeling. The
reflection from the moon had danced on the waves, and I had felt
his heartbeat against my back as he gently stroked the side of my
face. Then suddenly, he was abruptly jerked away, leaving me
feeling like my own limbs had been taken with him.

My throat was as dry as the desert from the
sobs that had torn through me. I walked as quietly as I could to
the bathroom for some water, deciding when I got there that a nice
warm shower would be the best way to wash away the chilling side
effects of the dream.

I stayed in the shower for a long time,
letting the warm water gently massage my aching body. When the warm
water started to run out, I twisted the nozzle to turn it off and
stepped out of the shower. After drying off, I headed to my room to
throw on a sweatshirt and jeans. I still had almost three hours
until I needed to get ready for school. The sun was just barely
beginning to rise over the horizon.

I walked over to my window so I could watch
it rise. I pulled the cord that hung down from my ancient blinds.
The blinds made a loud rustling noise as they rolled up. We had
discussed replacing the blinds with some cute curtains, but we kept
putting it off. I was sick of the ugly blinds, so maybe I would
replace them this weekend.

I caught a movement out of the corner of my
eye. Someone was on our front lawn, but strangely enough, I felt no
panic at all. For some reason I expected him to be there.

I stared at him for a few seconds trying to
organize my thoughts and then I headed out the door and down the
stairs. I had put off the talk yesterday, but I was ready for it
now.

Opening the front door quietly, I stepped
outside. I could feel him the moment I stepped over the threshold.
The impact of looking at him was no different than it had been the
day before. If anything, the pull seemed even stronger today.

“It’s you?” I said.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he answered.

“You knew yesterday in class?”

“Yes, I knew the moment you looked up at me.
It was like being punched in the stomach.”

“Have you always been able to see my face?” I
asked.

“For as long as I can remember,” He
replied.

“I’ve never been able to see your face….
until last night.”

“I figured that out in class yesterday, when
you looked so confused. I tried to tell you. I waited for you
yesterday,” he gently chided me.

“I know. I just needed time. I was so
confused yesterday. There I was hitting on my teacher’s intern in a
class filled with other people,” I said, still feeling slightly
embarrassed.

“Why have you been leaving me?” I asked
abruptly. I had meant to ask the question later, but I felt the
answer to this question was the most important.

Mark looked confused. “I don’t leave, you’re
the one who leaves……” he paused, as understanding dawned on both of
us. Neither one of us wanted to leave in the dreams. Something else
was pulling us apart.

“What does this mean?” I asked.

“I don’t know. When did you move here?”

“A few weeks ago. OH!” I shrilled, suddenly
aware. Why hadn’t I seen it before? The dreams changed the first
night in my new house, my first night in Santa Cruz.

“Why did my moving to California change our
dreams?”

“I don’t know.”

He settled into the swing on the porch,
placing his hands on his jean clad knees. I sat beside him as we
silently pondered our dreams. It all seemed surreal to be sitting
here next to him, when I had fantasized about this my whole
life.

I sat with my hands folded in my lap,
consciously aware that his hand was just inches away. I yearned to
reach over and grab onto it, but I fought back the urge. Part of me
was scared that his touch wouldn’t be the same as yesterday, while
the other part was afraid it would feel just as magical, and I
wouldn’t want to let go. Just when I knew I was fighting a losing
battle, Mark took the matter out of my hands.

Mark reached over and took my hand firmly in
his. Though I was expecting it, I still momentarily lost my breath.
His touch made everything feel right. Our dreams no longer
mattered. All I cared about was that we were together now. I had
imagined this moment forever. Even though I thought I would never
really meet him, somewhere in my heart of hearts, I had always
hoped for it.

I knew it was crazy. People didn’t go around
meeting guys they had dreams about. This was real life not some
science fiction novel. Dream Guys like this, just didn’t exist. It
went against everything I believed in, but looking down at our
hands it was hard to deny the connection. Even with our hands
lightly clasped together, I could feel the most pleasant warmth
from his touch spread throughout my whole body.